Authors Note - I don't own the ship, the characters, or anything at all.
Chapter 13 – FateElizabeth entered sickbay, to see the doctor and Tom clustered around a biobed in the far corner of the room. They obviously hadn't heard her come in. She decided to go over and see what was going on. As soon as she started walking towards them, they both turned around, revealing an extremely pale and ill looking Captain Janeway sat on the biobed. No-one spoke, they just stared at one another. Elizabeth was the first one to speak, straightening her back and looking official Starfleet material, she smiled in the Captains direction, "Captain, its an honour to meet you, again."
When the Captain didn't reply Elizabeth took a few tentative steps towards her, before seeing she was crying and in what Elizabeth diagnosed to be shock. Elizabeth went to stand by her side, pretty sure by now that something seriously weird was going on. Without warning the Captain grabbed Elizabeth and held her tightly against her, tears shimmering on her pale face. Elizabeth let out a gasp, not quite sure what she should do; she slipped her arms around the captain and held her back. She remembered being a child again, she had loved it then when the captain had given her a goodnight hug, now she couldn't think of anywhere else she wouldn't rather be. She had never thought she would see the venerable captain Janeway this upset.
Especially not this upset about her. In her experience captains never cried, or at least not in public.
Elizabeth sighed as a few tears escaped, why was this happening to her, what she wouldn't give right now to be home, and this to be her Dad or Deanna hugging her, but fate or rather Q had other things in store for her. She was brought back to the present by the captain rubbing her back gently. So she knows I'm crying too Elizabeth thought, great just great.
"Shhhhh. It's okay, I'm sorry", the captain whispered gently into her hair. Elizabeth would have felt comforted by her words had she not held her tighter. Oh, why had she come to sickbay, she asked herself. She didn't think she had ever felt more trapped in her life, not even on that shuttle where she nearly died. This was a nightmare, how could she get out of here.
She came down here for information on what Q meant, not to be reminded of everything she left behind, or to have a session of motherly hugs. Sighing, Elizabeth realised that despite her angry feelings about her situation, she felt comforted and safe by the captain's actions.
"Captain are you okay", she asked, loosening her own hold on the captain. This seemed to affect the captain, as she immediately released her and pulled back. Although, she kept hold of Elizabeth's arm with one hand, whilst wiping her tears away with the other. Elizabeth looked at the floor, unsure what to do.
The captain ran her hand under Elizabeth's chin, bringing her face up to meet her own. She smiled, "It's good to see you again", she said.
Elizabeth gulped, "I missed you", she said quietly. It wasn't a complete lie, she had missed her at first when she vanished, but then she moved on with her life. Looking around her she noticed that both the doctor and Tom had disappeared into his office. Strange she thought why had Tom disappeared.
The captain interrupted her thoughts, "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived. I was ill, but the doctor has given me a clean bill of health", she said guiltily. Well thought Elizabeth that was the worst lie anyone had ever told her, she could see by just looking at her that the captain was ill, or at least exhausted. She remembered how stubborn Captain Janeway was though; she wouldn't be kept in sickbay unless it was completely necessary.
Smiling, Elizabeth said, "It's okay. I had enough people gawping at me when I arrived on the bridge this morning."
The captain laughed at this, "I can picture their faces", she grinned.
The captain shifted off the biobed, she was very weak, although she tried to hide it "Why don't we go and catch up in my quarters" she said.
"Sure, I should go and tell Tom though" she said, heading in the direction of the doctors office. She got to the door when the main sickbay doors opened and admitted Chakotay. He smiled at her, before going over to the captain. This might be a good time to escape she thought, but then realised that she didn't really want to escape anymore.
She walked into the office to find Tom sat opposite the doctor, who was sat behind his desk.
"Liz" he grinned.
"Is it okay if I go to the captains quarters for a bit, now?" she asked.
"Sure, I'll stop by for you later, ok."
Elizabeth nodded before turning to head out the door, when Chakotay stormed through.
"Doctor, you can't be discharging her. You saw her earlier", he said. Elizabeth looked from him to the doctor.
"The captain is recovering, she is eating and although she is still very weak she appears to be returning to normal", the doctor said flatly, indicating with his eyes at Elizabeth. Elizabeth felt uncomfortable, why was the doctor indicating at her, what was it he was warning the commander not to say. Deciding to ask Tom later about it, she put it out of her mind.
Elizabeth felt a hand on her shoulder and resisted the urge to jump. It was the captain and she didn't look too happy.
"Doctor, Elizabeth and I are leaving now", she said in an even tone. Elizabeth thought, that she wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of this woman.
The captain added, "I would like to see the ship status reports as soon as possible commander", and glared at chakotay.
"Aye Captain", he said.
With that the captain turned and left with Elizabeth following behind. They walked in comfortable silence to the captain's quarters; Elizabeth noted that the captain looked paler now. The captain seemed to know Elizabeth was worried about her, because she took her hand and squeezed it. Elizabeth smiled at her.
They arrived at the captain's quarters hand in hand, the captain punched in her code, and they entered.
"Would you like a drink?"
"No, thank you" Elizabeth said looking around her. The captain's quarters were the largest on the ship that was nothing new. The room was homely looking, coffee cups were scattered on the table, an afghan rug was thrown over the arm of a chair, and there was pottery and plants scattered here and there. The captain had gone to the replicator. Elizabeth walked over to the window, and looked out at the stars as she had so many times before.
"Your father tells me your doing well at the academy", the captain said, standing next to her, coffee in hand.
Elizabeth saw the flicker of pride in the captain's eyes, and she laughed. The captain thought she was being modest, but Elizabeth was laughing at how many times she had dreamed of making the captain proud of her, and now here she was.
The captain sat on the couch under the window, she indicated for Elizabeth to do the same.
"How have you been?" The captain wanted to know everything about her, and the last few years of her life that she hadn't witnessed. Elizabeth could see this and so began at the beginning, with when voyager got lost. She quickly moved on to how she got to know Deanna and the time she spent on the enterprise. The mention of the woman Elizabeth had grown to love as a mother choked the captain up as well as Elizabeth, who had to stop. The captain moved closer to her and took her into her arms again, holding her tight and stroking strands of hair from her face. It hurt Elizabeth even more to feel captain Janeways face buried in her hair, she shouldn't have started talking about home, she wasn't the only one it affected. Elizabeth mistakenly believed that the only reason the captain was upset was because of the mention of home. She didn't notice the change in attitude had been when she mentioned Deanna. However, she had been so upset herself, she missed her family so much.
They sat holding each other in silence for a while, both comforted by the other. Then the door chime rang, the captain called for whomever it was to enter. Tom came in; he smiled at what he saw.
"Do you want me to come back?" he asked, thinking the captain might want to spend more time with Elizabeth.
"No. I'm hungry and tired, it's been a long day", Elizabeth cut in. She stood up, and smiled at the captain, who looked sad to see her go. Elizabeth ignored it. She needed a break, her emotions were threatening to erupt and she didn't want the captain to see it.
"Thanks for having me", she said politely, before turning and heading for the door.
The captain stared after her.
"I'll see you tomorrow" she called after her. Elizabeth nodded.
"I'll catch you up. B'Elannas in the mess hall", he said to Elizabeth. She nodded and headed off down the hall.
Tom looked at the captain, who stood up and smiled.
"She hasn't changed Tom", she said quietly.
"No, she hasn't."
"I presume you didn't tell her", he added, quietly.
"I couldn't. Tom, I want to spend time with her first. If I walk back into her life, now, and try to…" she trailed off, love so obvious in her voice, but mixed with a sad pain.
"I know", he said.
The captain smiled, "She needs time to adjust, then I'll tell her. I'm not about to let her go again. I couldn't, she means everything to me", she said quietly, tears threatening to break her resolve.
Tom nodded, "If you need me, Captain."
She smiled, "Thank you Tom." She touched his arm affectionately and he smiled.
He turned and left, as she flopped back onto the couch. The last few hours had taken their toll, and she was completely exhausted.
Elizabeth arrived in the mess hall, to find B'Elanna sat talking to and ensign with dark hair. She was about to walk over when Neelix arrived by her side. He beamed at her.
"How's the Captain, I heard you were with her this evening", he said, curiously.
"Yeah, I've just come from her quarters. She's fine", she said quietly, and somewhat unconvincingly.
Neelix continued, "When can we expect to see her up and about then?"
"I don't know, that's up to her", she said. This man really was quite annoying, not to mention nosy. Glancing in B'Elannas direction she saw her wave her over. Glad to have an excuse, she muttered her apologies to Neelix and went over to B'Elannas table.
"So, how did it go?" she asked. Adding, "This is Harry by the way" she indicated at Harry.
"Nice to meet you", he said extending his hand, which Elizabeth shook.
"You too", Elizabeth smiled.
"It went fine, why shouldn't it have?" she said answering B'Elannas question.
B'Elanna looked at her, so the captain hadn't told her then. Why not, she would ask Tom later.
She smiled at Elizabeth, "Oh, no reason."
Just then Tom came up and sat down. He looked at Elizabeth and saw how tired she was.
"Come on", he said, putting his arm around her.
She smiled sadly, "Are we going to your quarters?"
"Yeah, they're your quarters now too", he said, hoping to make her feel more at home.
She nodded, and let Tom lead her out the mess hall with a friendly goodbye to B'Elanna. She was good for Tom, Elizabeth thought. They suited each other; well she hadn't seen them together all that much, but even so.
Later that night, Elizabeth awoke from a reoccurring nightmare, feeling tired, upset and generally fed-up. She got up quietly so as not to awaken Tom, who had fussed over her like a baby from the moment she had left half her food at dinner. He really was a good brother she thought, smiling to herself.
Sighing she padded to the bathroom to wash her sweat soaked face. Looking at herself in the mirror, she sighed the last two weeks had taken their toll. Now, all she wanted to do was go home, and move on with her life. Or at least part of her wanted that, the other part of her wanted to stay here with the voyager crew, Tom, and Captain Janeway.
Sighing she grabbed her uniform and got dressed. She thought she might take a tour of the ship, after all hundreds of people back home would love to be in her position right now.
She decided to go to the mess hall for a coffee first, it would help her calm down. The she might head down to sickbay and see if the EMH could do anything about her nightmares.
-Fin-
Please review. Where coming to the end, I promise. I'd love to here your theories on Elizabeth/Janeway. I've given you clues, you may have been able to work it out, you may not, but you'll find out in a couple more chapters and another visit from Q. Tell me how you want it to end, that's always interesting.
