The Bigger They Are Part 4

**

NoV: It's been awhile, ne? Well, I've been on vacation.

Lina: Why didn't you take me??

NoV: Well....

Lina: You know I love the beach!!

Zelgadis: If you REALLY went to the beach, then why don't you have a tan?

NoV: Why would I??

Zelgadis: Hmm.....

NoV: I stayed in the hotel room and watched Gilligan's Island all day!

Amelia: Um....why would you do that?

NoV: It was practically the only thing on....

Xelloss: Why would you choose Gilligan over Cinemax?

NoV: (to Gourry) And there was this one episode where Ginger made a mini- skirt and was wearing it around and all. So, Gilligan cut his pants into shorts and told everyone that if Ginger could have a mini-skirt, he wanted to wear mini-pants! And I was like, "Wow, this is so entertaining!!" (dies laughing)

Gourry: Coconut is good for your barnacles!!

NoV: Which reminds me....I saw this buoy that said, "Do not go beyond this point," so, of course I had to go see if there was like a net barrier down there. So, I swam out to it and held onto it while my feet felt around for the net. Well, as I was feeling, my leg felt a big scrape as I rubbed against some barnacles attached to the buoy, and I swam back to shore really fast because it bled, and I feared sharks. ^_^

Gourry: .....coconut is good for your barnacles!

NoV: Anyway....

Zelgadis: On with the fat jokes!!

Lina: Hey!

**

Lina screamed in pure rage at the giggling mazoku floating above her. "WHY?? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME????"

"Why not?" Xelloss wondered, rolling around in the air, in hysterical laughter. "I mean, you said, 'If only I were....I wish that I could be....well....bigger.' I thought I was helping you."

Lina tried to grab his cloak. "You knew perfectly well what you were doing, you stupid damned fruitcake!!!" As she jumped up to try to hit him, the furniture in the room rattled and shook. Amelia raced around the room to keep small, breakable items like her mirror and Gourry's porcelain pickle from hitting the floor.

"Well, I'd better be going," Xelloss said, grinning. "I've got people to see, lives to ruin.....ciao!" He disappeared in another poof of purple smoke. Amelia made sure, once again, that he wasn't underneath her skirt.

Lina sank down to her knees, making the furniture shake for a second time. "My life is over!!" she exclaimed. "I'll never be able to fit into my tights ever again!!!" Immediately after she said this, her shirt burst open, buttons flying in every direction.

"AAAAAAHHH!!" Gourry screamed. "My eyes!!" He hid under the bed, shivering in fear of what he had seen.

Zelgadis, wishing to give Lina at least a little dignity, turned around, blushing furiously.

Amelia grabbed a blanket from Lina's bed and handed it to the enlarged sorceress. Lina quickly wrapped the blue blanket around her body

"We're going to have to get you some new clothes," Amelia noted, sighing. "While you do that, Miss Lina, we'll stay here at the inn. Mr. Zelgadis, Mr. Gourry and I will prepare some diet plans for you, so we can get you back to normal.....um.....size."

"You're making me go alone?" Lina demanded. "Out into the cold, cruel, and otherwise disheartened world like this??"

"Well," Amelia contemplated, "not completely alone....."

**

Xelloss and Lina, who had made a toga out of the blanket, were walking through a mall in the middle of the city. Passers-by gawked at the enormous Lina.

"Now, waitaminute!" Xelloss yelped. "How in the heck did I get suckered into this? I mean, the time I had to help Zelgadis grow back his nose, I can understand. That time, I was in the room when you made me do it. But, I wasn't even on the human plain this time, and yet, here I am! Walking around with a huge, Greek-looking red-head!!" he carried on, dramatically.

"Well, tough cookies," Lina snapped. "You're here, I'm here, and we may as well find some clothes."

"Fine," the priest grumbled.

"Let's go into this store," she suggested, waddling up to a very expensive department store. "By the way, you're paying for this, so I'm going to buy all the clothes I can find."

"What??" Xelloss cried. He ran into the store to follow Lina.

Lina had already found three outfits that she wanted to try on. She seemed happy now that she was amongst expensive clothes that she didn't have to pay for.

"I'm going to go into the fitting room to try on these outfits," she said to Xelloss, who growled at her.

"Yeah, if you can even fit in the fitting room," he grumbled.

**

"I HATE THIS STORE!! I HATE THESE CLOTHES! WHOEVER HEARD OF SELLING UGLY, UNCOMFOTABLE CLOTHES AT SUCH OUTRAGEOUS PRICES??" Lina raged inside the dressing room, throwing the undersized clothes at Xelloss, who stood by the fitting room.

"Well," he said, peering over the door at her, "maybe you shouldn't have gotten clothes that would fit your old body."

She glared at him. "I don't care what you say. I'll find enough clothes to keep you indebted to this store for the rest of your life!!" She stormed out of the dressing room.

"And, sadly, I believe you," he groaned, following her back into the store.

Lina had decidedly gone to the men's section and was looking at a pair of khaki shorts.

Xelloss shook his head at her. "You can't wear men's clothes," he told her.

"Why not?" she demanded, grabbing his collar.

"Because!!" he shrieked, waving his arms around. "The inseam would be too long."

"Who cares?" she asked, thumbing through the pile. "I'm getting these shorts."

"You can't!" Xelloss exclaimed. "Guys have smaller thingies!!!"

Everyone in the store turned and stared at the mazoku.

He slowly turned around to face them all. "Um.....I meant bigger thingies! But, not thingies: inseams. Inseams, yes....." He revolved back around to look at Lina. "Get the shorts."

**

Lina: Ahh.....revenge is sweet.

Xelloss: But, you are sweeter, Lina-chan.

NoV: Sorry if Xel-chan was a little OOC in this chapter. Maybe Zel should've gone with her to the store. But, I thought Xelloss should pay for making her fat.

Xelloss: Yes, thank-you for that....^_^

NoV: Anyway, what would you like in future chappies?? Demand more and get more!!! 3 NoV

P.S.

NoV: .....uh, yeah....sorry this took so long! My new beta reader *cough* is really slow and aggravating....*taps foot* Oh-kay, from now on I beta myself!

Xelloss: I wanna watch! ^_^

NoV: Of course.....*sigh*