The Bigger They Are Part 5
**
Lina: Well....I'm still big.....in the fic, that is.
Amelia: Don't worry, Miss Lina. I'm sure that Mr. Zelgadis, Mr. Gourry and I will find the perfect diet with Justice on the side for you!
NoV: Is everyone having a nice vacation?
Zelgadis: Well, actually....
NoV: Not you! The readers.....or, more specifically, the reviewers.
Xelloss: Care to have another bonbon?
Pocky: BONBON!!!!!
Xelloss: *covers his ears* Ow.....
NoV: Um.....this is Pocky.....I think she's a mazoku.....she was invented by my friend that I forget the name of....GreenEyes, I think it was.
Xelloss: It doesn't matter.....even if you are extremely annoying, I still love you!
NoV: Oh, yes, and Xelloss loves her.
Pocky: *jumping on the couch* Love! Love! Love! Hate! Hate! Hate! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
Xelloss: *bouncing* Isn't she the best?
Gourry: Indeed. ^_^
Xelloss: Don't do that! ^_^ It's mine!
Pocky: ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Xelloss: .....oh-kay.
NoV: Well, I suppose that it is time to start this here chapter once again. *sits on a horse, twirling a rope*
Pocky: I love chicken pesto even though I'm an evil mazoku bent on chaos and unhappy destruction!
Xelloss: As well you should.
**
The door to the inn was kicked open, causing all inside to look up from what they were doing to a giant, overweight Lina. Xelloss was about to bend under the weight of all of her packages.
Amelia rushed over to them, an energetic and ever-present cheer on her face. "Miss Lina! We discovered a way to make you....un-fat!"
"Really?" Lina exclaimed. "That's great!" She threw her arms into the air, hitting Xelloss and knocking him over, the packages falling on top of him.
"Does that mean I'm going to have to return all these clothes?" Xelloss asked, muffled under all the boxes.
**
"We have found four different approaches to curing you," Zelgadis said, looking at a brown clipboard. "The first involves exercise, exercise, and more exercise."
"Yeah," Lina groaned, pumping a grounded bicycle. "You think?"
"Don't slow down, Miss Lina!" Amelia exclaimed. "After this, you've got sit- ups, crunches, swimming, jumping jacks, aerobics, weight-lifting---"
**
Lina collapsed onto a couch in her room, some of the springs falling out of it. She breathed quickly and rapidly, holding her chest.
"My heart's gonna stop any minute now," she said.
"You did great, Miss Lina!" Amelia told her, patting her on the back. "And, tomorrow we can do the same thing all over again!"
Lina's eyes grew big and round. "Um....if it's all the same to you, why don't we try one of the other approaches tomorrow.....this exercise thing is gonna kill me!"
"Yeah!!" Gourry cried, excitedly jumping up and down. "Tomorrow we can try my way!!"
**
"Gourry....." Lina said.
It was the next day, and Gourry had convinced her to try his method of weight loss. Lina was presently covered in pie filling and crust.
"Shh!" Gourry hushed her. "I must have silence and concentration." He picked up another pie from a box full of them and threw it at Lina.
"And, how is this supposed to make me skinny again?" she asked, wiping the pie off of her face.
"Oh, is that what we're trying to do?" he wondered, grabbing another pie and eating it.
"Urrrhh......" she growled. "Fireball!"
**
"We saved the best for last, Miss Lina," Amelia said. "This time, we'll try it my way."
"I thought you said you had four ways," Lina replied, scraping pie crust out of her hair.
"Well....technically, we do, but that's only as a last-minute kind of thing," the oujo said, shrugging. "Now, then, all you have to do, Miss Lina- is stop eating."
"......"
"....."
"You're kidding."
"No, Miss Lina." She shook her head, and pulled down a chart. "You see, this is you." She pointed to a bloated picture of Lina. "If you keep putting food in here, then you'll keep gaining weight. But, if you stop eating-"
"I'll kill us all," Lina finished, darkly.
"Well.....probably, but isn't it worth it?"
"......"
"Miss Lina?"
"I'll do it."
**
"Does everyone know their position?" Amelia asked the four people in front of her.
"Yes!" they replied.
"Mr. Zelgadis, what is your position?"
"I am to guard Lina's door so that she will not escape!" he answered, saluting her.
"Mr. Xelloss? Your position?" Amelia inquired.
"I'm guarding the windows! .....with ice cream!" he added, giving Lina a sly grin.
"And, Mr. Gourry?"
"I get to guard the food!! Woo-hoo!!" Gourry exclaimed, already grabbing the refrigerator and hugging it.
"Finally, Miss Lina, do you know your position?"
"Of course I do," she replied. "I'm sitting in my room watching t.v. with you. What could be simpler than that?"
"Oh-kay!" the princess cried. "Everyone to your battle stations immediately!"
Gourry swallowed a jar of pickles. "Yay! I love this job!"
**
Lina and Amelia sat on the couch, watching the documentary channel.
"And, here we see the most interesting part of our documentary," a monotone Ben Stein voice said. "Watch as the Indian water beetle carves a hole in its small mud home so that it can leave at any time it sees fit."
Lina's eyes were slowly shutting. Amelia was already snoring. Suddenly, Lina snapped to attention when she heard a grumble coming from her stomach.
"Ohhh....." she groaned. "I haven't eaten in TWO HOURS!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!" She looked around the room, nervously. "I'll.....eat the paintings!!!!" She grabbed a painting of a loaf of bread and chomped a bite off of it. She swallowed it and sighed. "It's just NOT THE SAME!!" she wailed. "I've gotta get out of here....I've gotta get some food....but.....how....."
**
Zelgadis sat beside the hotel room door and sighed. This was going to be a long, boring day. He could be looking for his cure right about now, but no.
He sniffed the air, smelling a perfume-like scent. He looked around to see that he was surrounded by a little pink smelly cloud. He coughed it out of his lungs and covered his nose.
"Good grief," he sniffed. "What are they expiramenting with perfume in there?" He began to feel dizzy and light-headed as the cloud enveloped him. The chimera's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted.
"Mwahaha," a voice cackled in the shadows. "You fell for it."
Lina grabbed Zelgadis' leg and dragged him into the room. She laid him in between Xelloss and Amelia, who were also under the influence of Lina's knock-out perfume gas.
Lina locked the door to her room and placed the key in her pocket. She sneaked down the stairs and past the lobby to the kitchen. Slowly, the sorceress peered her head around the corner to look for Gourry, supposedly standing guard. He sat at the table, about to eat a cheesecake whole.
In a very Matrix-like move, Lina floated across the table and whacked Gourry on the neck, directly upon the pressure point, rendering him unconscious.
"Yes," she cackled. "YES!!!" She opened the refrigerator door, a burst of heavenly music and bright light filtering from it. "There is a god," she said, thanking L-sama for the food she was about to eat.
**
Lina happily fell to the floor, with a loud plop. Her stomach had grown thirty times bigger, but she was still very content and satisfied.
She stood up on her wobbly feet and waddled over to Gourry, who was sleeping face-first in the cheesecake. Shrugging, Lina lifted his head and took the cheesecake.
She stuffed it in her mouth as she left the room, a fulfilled sigh escaping her. As she turned the corner to go back up the stairs, Amelia ran right into her, bouncing back about ten feet.
"Miss Lina!!" she wailed. "You didn't!!! After all the work we went through!!! Now it'll take three times as long to get you back to normal size!!!"
Lina's head sunk into her neck. "I know....say, what was that fourth thing we were going to try??"
Amelia looked confused for a moment, then slowly smiled.
**
Amelia, Lina, Zelgadis, and Xelloss, who was hefting the still-unconscious Gourry stood in front of the tiny spring Lina had been in before.
"And, just how is this supposed to work?" Lina wondered, doubtfully.
"If we guessed right, then getting in the spring a second time should get you back to normal size," Amelia answered.
"Why didn't we do this from the beginning, then????" Lina demanded.
"Well, we didn't want to take the chance of you getting twice as big, but since you already are, you see...." Amelia said, slowly.
"Oh....."
Zelgadis glared at Xelloss. "You knew this would work the whole time, didn't you?"
"Of course I did," he replied.
Lina choked him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US, YOU CREEP???"
"Gack!" the mazoku shrieked. "Well, Ididn'tthinkitmatteredatthetimeandbesidessorewahimitsudesu!!!!" he said quickly.
The flame-haired sorceress released him. "I don't even care!!" She walked over to the edge of the water. "Wish me luck!" She jumped in, making an enormous splash. _I hope this works_ she said to herself, crossing her fingers. All of a sudden, everything got black once again.
**
"Miss Lina! Wake up!!" a voice called to her.
Lina slowly opened her eyes and looked at Amelia. "What happened?" she wondered, holding her head in pain.
"Go look at your reflection in the spring," Zelgadis told her.
Lina jumped to her feet, suddenly remembering everything that had happened and rushed toward the spring.
"I don't understand!!" she wailed. "Why didn't it work?"
"It did, you baka," Xelloss growled, out of character, Gourry drooling all over his hair and shoulder.
"Oh, yeah!" Lina exclaimed, happily.
Everyone else fell over.
"Well, this was fun," Zelgadis said, flatly.
"Let's not do it again," the mazoku priest grumbled, rising to his feet, still carrying Gourry.
"HELLO VENEZUALA!!!!" Gourry suddenly exclaimed, waking up.
"AAAHH!!" Xelloss cried, startled. He lost his balance, sending both himself and Gourry tumbling into the spring.
"OH, great," Lina said, blandly. "That's just what we needed."
Xelloss and Gourry floated to the top of the spring, looking like giant, inflatable water toys.
"WEEEE!" Gourry squealed, rolling over in the water.
"Why me?? Why does it always have to be me?" Xelloss asked.
**
Xelloss: No! That can't happen.....
NoV: Well, it did in NoV's world. ^_^_^
Lina: At least I was cured.
Pocky: I'm the cutest mazoku in the universe!!!
Xelloss: No, you're not! *big sparkly eyes* Xelas-sama is! I love her!!!
NoV: Sorry if this was all kind bunched into one chappie....I wanted to get on to another fic, which will be great! Be sure to read "The Great Slayers Hyper Story"!!!
**
Lina: Well....I'm still big.....in the fic, that is.
Amelia: Don't worry, Miss Lina. I'm sure that Mr. Zelgadis, Mr. Gourry and I will find the perfect diet with Justice on the side for you!
NoV: Is everyone having a nice vacation?
Zelgadis: Well, actually....
NoV: Not you! The readers.....or, more specifically, the reviewers.
Xelloss: Care to have another bonbon?
Pocky: BONBON!!!!!
Xelloss: *covers his ears* Ow.....
NoV: Um.....this is Pocky.....I think she's a mazoku.....she was invented by my friend that I forget the name of....GreenEyes, I think it was.
Xelloss: It doesn't matter.....even if you are extremely annoying, I still love you!
NoV: Oh, yes, and Xelloss loves her.
Pocky: *jumping on the couch* Love! Love! Love! Hate! Hate! Hate! Tacos! Tacos! Tacos!
Xelloss: *bouncing* Isn't she the best?
Gourry: Indeed. ^_^
Xelloss: Don't do that! ^_^ It's mine!
Pocky: ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Xelloss: .....oh-kay.
NoV: Well, I suppose that it is time to start this here chapter once again. *sits on a horse, twirling a rope*
Pocky: I love chicken pesto even though I'm an evil mazoku bent on chaos and unhappy destruction!
Xelloss: As well you should.
**
The door to the inn was kicked open, causing all inside to look up from what they were doing to a giant, overweight Lina. Xelloss was about to bend under the weight of all of her packages.
Amelia rushed over to them, an energetic and ever-present cheer on her face. "Miss Lina! We discovered a way to make you....un-fat!"
"Really?" Lina exclaimed. "That's great!" She threw her arms into the air, hitting Xelloss and knocking him over, the packages falling on top of him.
"Does that mean I'm going to have to return all these clothes?" Xelloss asked, muffled under all the boxes.
**
"We have found four different approaches to curing you," Zelgadis said, looking at a brown clipboard. "The first involves exercise, exercise, and more exercise."
"Yeah," Lina groaned, pumping a grounded bicycle. "You think?"
"Don't slow down, Miss Lina!" Amelia exclaimed. "After this, you've got sit- ups, crunches, swimming, jumping jacks, aerobics, weight-lifting---"
**
Lina collapsed onto a couch in her room, some of the springs falling out of it. She breathed quickly and rapidly, holding her chest.
"My heart's gonna stop any minute now," she said.
"You did great, Miss Lina!" Amelia told her, patting her on the back. "And, tomorrow we can do the same thing all over again!"
Lina's eyes grew big and round. "Um....if it's all the same to you, why don't we try one of the other approaches tomorrow.....this exercise thing is gonna kill me!"
"Yeah!!" Gourry cried, excitedly jumping up and down. "Tomorrow we can try my way!!"
**
"Gourry....." Lina said.
It was the next day, and Gourry had convinced her to try his method of weight loss. Lina was presently covered in pie filling and crust.
"Shh!" Gourry hushed her. "I must have silence and concentration." He picked up another pie from a box full of them and threw it at Lina.
"And, how is this supposed to make me skinny again?" she asked, wiping the pie off of her face.
"Oh, is that what we're trying to do?" he wondered, grabbing another pie and eating it.
"Urrrhh......" she growled. "Fireball!"
**
"We saved the best for last, Miss Lina," Amelia said. "This time, we'll try it my way."
"I thought you said you had four ways," Lina replied, scraping pie crust out of her hair.
"Well....technically, we do, but that's only as a last-minute kind of thing," the oujo said, shrugging. "Now, then, all you have to do, Miss Lina- is stop eating."
"......"
"....."
"You're kidding."
"No, Miss Lina." She shook her head, and pulled down a chart. "You see, this is you." She pointed to a bloated picture of Lina. "If you keep putting food in here, then you'll keep gaining weight. But, if you stop eating-"
"I'll kill us all," Lina finished, darkly.
"Well.....probably, but isn't it worth it?"
"......"
"Miss Lina?"
"I'll do it."
**
"Does everyone know their position?" Amelia asked the four people in front of her.
"Yes!" they replied.
"Mr. Zelgadis, what is your position?"
"I am to guard Lina's door so that she will not escape!" he answered, saluting her.
"Mr. Xelloss? Your position?" Amelia inquired.
"I'm guarding the windows! .....with ice cream!" he added, giving Lina a sly grin.
"And, Mr. Gourry?"
"I get to guard the food!! Woo-hoo!!" Gourry exclaimed, already grabbing the refrigerator and hugging it.
"Finally, Miss Lina, do you know your position?"
"Of course I do," she replied. "I'm sitting in my room watching t.v. with you. What could be simpler than that?"
"Oh-kay!" the princess cried. "Everyone to your battle stations immediately!"
Gourry swallowed a jar of pickles. "Yay! I love this job!"
**
Lina and Amelia sat on the couch, watching the documentary channel.
"And, here we see the most interesting part of our documentary," a monotone Ben Stein voice said. "Watch as the Indian water beetle carves a hole in its small mud home so that it can leave at any time it sees fit."
Lina's eyes were slowly shutting. Amelia was already snoring. Suddenly, Lina snapped to attention when she heard a grumble coming from her stomach.
"Ohhh....." she groaned. "I haven't eaten in TWO HOURS!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!" She looked around the room, nervously. "I'll.....eat the paintings!!!!" She grabbed a painting of a loaf of bread and chomped a bite off of it. She swallowed it and sighed. "It's just NOT THE SAME!!" she wailed. "I've gotta get out of here....I've gotta get some food....but.....how....."
**
Zelgadis sat beside the hotel room door and sighed. This was going to be a long, boring day. He could be looking for his cure right about now, but no.
He sniffed the air, smelling a perfume-like scent. He looked around to see that he was surrounded by a little pink smelly cloud. He coughed it out of his lungs and covered his nose.
"Good grief," he sniffed. "What are they expiramenting with perfume in there?" He began to feel dizzy and light-headed as the cloud enveloped him. The chimera's eyes rolled back in his head as he fainted.
"Mwahaha," a voice cackled in the shadows. "You fell for it."
Lina grabbed Zelgadis' leg and dragged him into the room. She laid him in between Xelloss and Amelia, who were also under the influence of Lina's knock-out perfume gas.
Lina locked the door to her room and placed the key in her pocket. She sneaked down the stairs and past the lobby to the kitchen. Slowly, the sorceress peered her head around the corner to look for Gourry, supposedly standing guard. He sat at the table, about to eat a cheesecake whole.
In a very Matrix-like move, Lina floated across the table and whacked Gourry on the neck, directly upon the pressure point, rendering him unconscious.
"Yes," she cackled. "YES!!!" She opened the refrigerator door, a burst of heavenly music and bright light filtering from it. "There is a god," she said, thanking L-sama for the food she was about to eat.
**
Lina happily fell to the floor, with a loud plop. Her stomach had grown thirty times bigger, but she was still very content and satisfied.
She stood up on her wobbly feet and waddled over to Gourry, who was sleeping face-first in the cheesecake. Shrugging, Lina lifted his head and took the cheesecake.
She stuffed it in her mouth as she left the room, a fulfilled sigh escaping her. As she turned the corner to go back up the stairs, Amelia ran right into her, bouncing back about ten feet.
"Miss Lina!!" she wailed. "You didn't!!! After all the work we went through!!! Now it'll take three times as long to get you back to normal size!!!"
Lina's head sunk into her neck. "I know....say, what was that fourth thing we were going to try??"
Amelia looked confused for a moment, then slowly smiled.
**
Amelia, Lina, Zelgadis, and Xelloss, who was hefting the still-unconscious Gourry stood in front of the tiny spring Lina had been in before.
"And, just how is this supposed to work?" Lina wondered, doubtfully.
"If we guessed right, then getting in the spring a second time should get you back to normal size," Amelia answered.
"Why didn't we do this from the beginning, then????" Lina demanded.
"Well, we didn't want to take the chance of you getting twice as big, but since you already are, you see...." Amelia said, slowly.
"Oh....."
Zelgadis glared at Xelloss. "You knew this would work the whole time, didn't you?"
"Of course I did," he replied.
Lina choked him. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US, YOU CREEP???"
"Gack!" the mazoku shrieked. "Well, Ididn'tthinkitmatteredatthetimeandbesidessorewahimitsudesu!!!!" he said quickly.
The flame-haired sorceress released him. "I don't even care!!" She walked over to the edge of the water. "Wish me luck!" She jumped in, making an enormous splash. _I hope this works_ she said to herself, crossing her fingers. All of a sudden, everything got black once again.
**
"Miss Lina! Wake up!!" a voice called to her.
Lina slowly opened her eyes and looked at Amelia. "What happened?" she wondered, holding her head in pain.
"Go look at your reflection in the spring," Zelgadis told her.
Lina jumped to her feet, suddenly remembering everything that had happened and rushed toward the spring.
"I don't understand!!" she wailed. "Why didn't it work?"
"It did, you baka," Xelloss growled, out of character, Gourry drooling all over his hair and shoulder.
"Oh, yeah!" Lina exclaimed, happily.
Everyone else fell over.
"Well, this was fun," Zelgadis said, flatly.
"Let's not do it again," the mazoku priest grumbled, rising to his feet, still carrying Gourry.
"HELLO VENEZUALA!!!!" Gourry suddenly exclaimed, waking up.
"AAAHH!!" Xelloss cried, startled. He lost his balance, sending both himself and Gourry tumbling into the spring.
"OH, great," Lina said, blandly. "That's just what we needed."
Xelloss and Gourry floated to the top of the spring, looking like giant, inflatable water toys.
"WEEEE!" Gourry squealed, rolling over in the water.
"Why me?? Why does it always have to be me?" Xelloss asked.
**
Xelloss: No! That can't happen.....
NoV: Well, it did in NoV's world. ^_^_^
Lina: At least I was cured.
Pocky: I'm the cutest mazoku in the universe!!!
Xelloss: No, you're not! *big sparkly eyes* Xelas-sama is! I love her!!!
NoV: Sorry if this was all kind bunched into one chappie....I wanted to get on to another fic, which will be great! Be sure to read "The Great Slayers Hyper Story"!!!
