Chapter XI

"...one of the strangest instances of the fool's play
with which all publick things are done in this age..."
-- The Diary of Samuel Pepys, July 17, 1667

About a half-hour after she had moved to the auditorium, Chisa heard the sound of the stage door being opened. Assuming it was the janitors, she kept her head down.

The sounds of footsteps approached. Three people in an awful hurry were trying to get from stage right to stage left as fast as possible. Chisa looked up to see Taro Okada, Reika Yamamoto, and Arisu Mizuki marching past her. None of them noticed her, but to be honest, this sort of thing had happened so often to Chisa that she considered it normal human behavior. It was more of a surprise that Arisu managed to get out a leaden "Oh. Chisa," before she was yanked out of view by Taro's arm. The sounds of footsteps rapidly faded away, followed by the successive slams of the other stage door and the facing outer door.

This was followed by another slam, of the door at the back of the auditorium. The two Men in Black who had interviewed her the day before came in, their guns drawn. They immediately spotted Chisa on the big, ludicrously well-lit stage and simultaneously trained their laser sights on her forehead.

Chisa tried to say, "Help!" but it wouldn't come out of a throat constricted with panic. Nevertheless, her request was answered.

From the empty orchestra pit came the sound of a synthesized trumpet playing a brief fanfare. From the end of the stage opposite Chisa entered Arisu and a teenage girl. Chisa could swear that she couldn't see the two until the moment they left the shadows.

"You will lose this wager, my lady," said the girl to Arisu. Chisa clearly remembered this girl, for she had a habit of appearing at the most absurdly fortuitous moments in her life.

"I do not think so," replied Arisu. "Since she went into France, I have been in continual practice; I shall win at the odds. But thou wouldst not think how ill all's here about my heart; but it is no matter."

The girl attempted to interrupt. "Nay, good my lady..."

"It is but foolery; but it is such a kind of gain-giving as would perhaps trouble a knave."

"If your mind dislike anything, obey it. I will forestall their repair hither, and say you are not fit."

"Not a whit; we defy augury. There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be now; if it be not now, yet it will come. The readiness is all. Since no one has aught of what she leaves, what is't to leave betimes? Let be."

By now, Chisa had managed to identify the play being recited as Hamlet. Sure enough, the phantom trumpet played again, and Taro entered behind her, holding the hand of Reika aloft. Taro was wearing a plastic crown and as Chisa rose, she realized she was also crowned, although her prop was absolutely weightless.

"Come, Hamlette, come," declared Taro as the evil King Claudius, "and take this hand from me."

In the meantime, the girl had dashed from Arisu's side off stage, returning momentarily with a pair of fencing foils, a large goblet, and a flagon of "wine" (probably grape juice). She had apparently switched from playing "Hamlette"'s best friend "Horatia" to being that suck-up "Osrica", as she was standing next to King Taro in a simpering attitude.

The two Men in Black meanwhile had got themselves a pair of good seats to watch the show. Before long Arisu and Reika were dueling, and the countdown to the typical Shakespearian ending of "everybody dies" was on.

Feeling completely safe, Chisa sat back down and marveled at the mechanics of what she was seeing as the scene continued. Arisu was a masterful lead, and you could read the whole tortured history of the character in the way she fenced.

"A hit, a very palpable hit!" cried the girl beside her.

Reika as Laertes (Laertia?) was a good deal clumsier. She occasionally even failed to get her foil in place for a proper parry. Taro's performance of course wasn't much to judge, as this wasn't precisely his character's high point.

"Our daughter shall win," prompted Taro.

"Oh!" cried Chisa, who had been assigned the part of Queen Gertrude, Hamlette's mother and Claudius' wife. "Um, he, no, she's plumb tuckered out! Here, Hamlette, take my napkin, rub thy brows. The queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlette." She raised the "poisoned" goblet to her lips.

Arisu smiled good-naturedly. "Good madam."

"Gertrude!" Taro shouted. "Do not drink!"

Chisa noticed the girl scowling over the poor delivery of the line from the corner of her eye. A bit harder pushing the boy puppets around than the girl puppets, hmm? she mused.

"They aren't very good, are they?" came a voice from the audience.

"Well, they're not exactly professionals," answered the other Man in Black. "Besides, the art of stage fighting has really been in a nosedive for the past forty years."

"Now the movie version with Mel Gibson..."

"Yes, there was some good swordsmanship."

"That was William Hobbs' work, wasn't it?"

"Excuse me!" Arisu strode angrily to the edge of the stage. "I thought I took care of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern two pages ago!"

"Oh, we're sorry," came the voice from the darkness. "Go right ahead, we won't interrupt again."

Arisu shook her head. "No, no, you've spoiled the mood."

"Oh, please continue?" said the one Man in Black.

"We're really sorry," pleaded the other.

"Well..." considered Taro. "They could use some work. I'm sure you were given fencing lessons as part of your very extensive training regimen. Maybe you can come up here and give us some pointers."

"Okay!"

"We'd be glad to help!"

Chisa had to stifle a giggle at that point. She really had to have a good long talk with that girl someday.