Loving Darkness
by Sarah Black
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters form the Harry Potter books. They are the property of whoever has them copyrighted. JKR wrote the books, she's a genius. Warner Brothers made the movies... they're pretty good as well. Anyway, not mine.
"Do you have anything new for me? I'm getting peeved with all these reports on how Hermione's cat's behaving." Draco said as he paged through the latest reports.
"I know, don't you think I'm sick of listening to them go on and on about their vermin? But it's all they talk about. I can't very well report their thoughts!" Ginny answered, feeling miffed. She tried and tried, but she was beginning to think that the blond Slytherin would never appreciate what she was doing for him.
"Of course you can report their thoughts. You Weasleys associate with Muggles too much. Forgetting about your magical heritage all the time..." Draco trailed off, swearing under his breath. He appeared to be searching for something. Ginny didn't let his comments on her family bother her anymore. She knew Draco well enough to realize that he didn't actually mean her, just the rest of her family. His opinions on the rest of her family were of no consequence to her so she simply didn't listen when he went on like that.
"Here it is..." Draco mumbled and furrowed his brow in concentration. His carefully maintained hairstyle was beginning to unravel and Ginny watched in fascination as a stray blond lock fell stubbornly into his eyes. He really was pretty in an arrogant snobbish way. She sighed quietly and hoped this would be over soon so they could move on to doing more interesting things. She knew they were only twelve and thirteen respectively, but they weren't really doing anything serious... yet. She licked her lips and tried to think about something else.
"See, here is a spell that will allow you to report their thoughts. Just sneak into their dormitories when everyone's sleeping and place your wand on their temple. Then you say this here," He pointed at a complicated looking set of Latin words, "And then you simply place the tip of your wand on a piece of parchment and their thoughts will write themselves down. But you have to be careful to not let the wand go until it's finished." Draco looked very pleased with himself and handed the parchment with the words on it over to her.
She forced herself to look at the yellowed page and tried to look contemplative. She noticed there were more words on the page and she looked at Draco uncertainly.
"That other set of enchantments is for later. Once you've made the connection between your wand and the subject's mind, you can repeat that second enchantment to get their thoughts written down any time you like." Draco smirked like only he could smirk. That wonderful lock of hair still in his eyes, despite his hand continually swiping it away as if it were an annoying insect. Ginny barely managed to keep herself from swooning. She came to her senses.
"But isn't this dark magic? I can't imagine that this is a legal charm. It's just such a violation of a person's privacy! Not that I really care about that per se, I just think the Ministry would... you know. Mind." She spoke awkwardly not daring to look into his stormy gray eyes.
"Of course this is Dark Magic silly girl, it's fairly old as well. I found it in one of my father's books this summer. I thought it would be useful. It's really easy to make it work. Don't worry about it." Draco's voice soothed her worries and soon she had forgotten that she had worried at all.
"Now that business has been taken care of we can finally get down to business." He smirked devilishly. She giggled shyly. She still couldn't get used to Draco saying things like that. It was just so strange.
He kissed her that evening, like he had done before. And she enjoyed it, like she had done before. And then she went to do his bidding. As she had done Tom Riddle's bidding. But it wasn't exactly the same. Now she knew what she was doing. She became a bit sad sometimes, knowing that she was willingly betraying her family and friends. But they had betrayed her first. Even after they knew what Lucius Malfoy had done, given her that diary, even after they knew what that diary contained, Tom Riddle, they had not sought revenge. Harry had freed a House Elf. What did that matter to her? She was the one who had had to suffer. She had wanted Lucius Malfoy to suffer just as she had. But her family hadn't done a single bloody thing. They hadn't lifted a finger. Instead they had taken her to Egypt and expected her to simply be 'all right'. Well she wasn't.
She had tried to seek revenge on her own, but that plan had backfired on her. Instead of killing the Malfoy heir by setting that Hippogriff on him it had merely wounded him. And when she went to the Hospital wing to try to poison him (she had planned to mix the poison with his medicine, he wouldn't know the difference both brews tasted foul) she hadn't succeeded. Draco had just seemed so vulnerable in that big white bed. His hair strewn across the pillow wildly... no hairstyle in sight. He had been so pale and in so much pain. She hadn't been able to bring herself to kill him. After all, she hated his father, not him. So instead she had gone over an talked to him. She had told him all about the things she sometimes overheard her brother and his friends talking about. Draco had been very interested and since then she had given weekly reports of what was going on in Gryffindor tower. She didn't remember when exactly the kissing started, but she remembered what the first kiss had felt like.
It had been so soft. And strangely wet. Her stomach had felt as if it weren't there and her brain had gone on vacation. Her lips were on fire and his lips seemed to be their only salvation. She hadn't been able to stop. Draco had stopped it. He hadn't looked horrified at the fact that he had just kissed a Weasley. He'd stopped regarding her as a Weasley the minute she'd betrayed her family. The minute she'd crossed over to his side. The thought made her all tingly inside.
That night she snuck out of bed and went into the third year dormitories in order to place a dark spell on her brother, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger. Strangely she hadn't been able to make it work on Harry, but Hermione and Ron were easy. Draco hadn't been happy to hear about it, but she told him that she'd tried five times (really, she'd only tried twice) and that his scar had done something funny (more like he snorted funnily in his sleep) and that it just hadn't worked (true that).
As winter became spring and spring became summer, the thoughts of her brother became more interesting. They never made much sense, but he thought a lot about Hermione. And reading Hermione's thoughts allowed them to discover that Remus Lupin, their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, was actually a werewolf. They couldn't tell anyone, but knowing sure explained a lot. Draco learned about the Invisibility Cloak and Marauder Map and all sorts of interesting things. He kept the knowledge to himself mostly, to Ginny's relief, as he didn't want anyone looking to closely into matter and discovering the charm Ginny had placed on Ron and Hermione's minds. But it did help to know.
Ginny didn't keep constant watch on their thoughts as they were boring for the most part, but sometimes, if there wasn't too much homework, she'd sit near them and read their thoughts. It could be very amusing. Looking at their expressions and knowing exactly what they were thinking.
Draco and Ginny had been meeting for the weekly report when Ginny noticed that the name 'Sirius Black' kept appearing on her trusty parchment. The two watched intently as Ron's thoughts went something like this:
'Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow... my leg! Sirius Black just broke my leg! Don't kill Harry, don't let Harry be killed. Aaaah! Lupin! AAAAAARGH! Snape. Stupid Invisibility Cloak! Why couldn't they have remembered to take it with them? Hah! Take that you stupid Potions Master. You deserved it. Tying Professor Lupin up.' His thought went on like that, with long blank silences in between. Draco explained that when there were no thoughts that usually mean the person was listening to someone speak. (Or they fell asleep, though Ginny.)
Hermione's mind was a lot easier to read and a lot more rational.
'Basically, Lupin is a werewolf but he's not helping Black. Even if they were friends at school. Harry's dad, Lupin, Black and Peter Pettigrew who is also known as Scabbers were all friends. Then Pettigrew betrayed them and everything got ruined. Black went to Azkaban for something he didn't do. Pettigrew cut off his finger and then he turned himself into a rat and settled with the Weasley family as a pet. Everyone thought Pettigrew was dead. Harry's mum and dead were killed and Lupin had to continue living even though all his friends were gone and he was all alone. Oh! How awful...'
Soon Ginny and Draco would have known everything, but they had gotten sidetracked. Kissing Draco was truly the most wonderful thing in the world. Or it had to be very close to the most wonderful thing in the world. Like in the top ten list. Ginny didn't know why, but she wished she were older.
The years passed and Ginny aged. She and Draco continued to meet for the weekly report and sometimes they would simply sit and read thoughts for a while. Ginny never felt as if she were intruding on her brother's privacy. He was so obvious about what he thought anyway. Hermione was a bit obvious as well. Though not about everything. Ginny knew about Viktor Krum before anyone did. Draco had been shocked that Krum wanted to have anything to do with the 'Mudblood'. Ginny hadn't really cared. She knew she wouldn't be allowed to go to the Yule Ball with Draco but she wished she could go. When Neville asked her she said yes and spent the evening pretending to be having fun and wincing as Neville stepped on her toes. She also spent a considerable amount of time looking longingly at Draco, envying Pansy passionately.
Draco and Ginny were the first to know that Hermione and Ron were in love with each other. As neither Hermione nor Ron had realized this yet. Draco thought it was hysterically funny and felt that they deserved each other. Draco couldn't wait for them to get together so he could point and laugh at the spectacle.
Ginny giggled softly, wondering if anyone would ever point and laugh at her and Draco. Somehow, the idea of it didn't seem awful.
As Draco got older he got more aggressive. Soon they were fourteen and fifteen. He was doing more with his hands. Wanting her to remove more of her clothes. Wanting to kiss her in more than one place. And she let him. She liked it. It was strange, but she liked betraying the other Gryffindors. She liked having his hands on her. She liked being naughty. She hoped no one was reading her thoughts.
In her fifth year Draco had introduced her to the world of oral sex. He didn't do it for her very often, but she found herself sucking him off on numerous occasions. She knew he was having sex with other girls as well. But he hadn't asked her to go any further. She was afraid to start anything herself. She would simply wait for him to ask.
He asked in her sixth year. When it happened it was incredibly painful. She had read romance novels where a woman's first time was wonderful and perfect. All she remembered about that night was pain. She hadn't had an orgasm and she thought that it would have been insane to even try to feel pleasure under those circumstances. What was written in books was absolute nonsense. But next couple of times they tried it it was more pleasure and less pain. The fourth time she actually had an orgasm. She liked the foreplay best though. Draco didn't seem to mind. As long as they got to the sex part in the end he seemed perfectly happy.
In her seventh year she was alone. Desperately alone. She focused on school work for the most part and received fairly good marks the whole year. She didn't fail her N.E.W.Ts. Her mother was 'so proud' and her father got her a job at the Ministry. Her life went on. Without Draco Malfoy.
She lost herself in the memories sometimes. She thought about how far they had come. She thought about how Draco had changed. They had stopped reading thoughts in her fifth year. Draco hadn't been interested in them any more. He had told her that they didn't matter. He had stopped caring so much when he lost at Quidditch. 'It's just a sport.' He'd say and then he'd kiss her. He hadn't stopped taunting the Gryffindor trio in the corridors but he had confided in her, saying that he didn't really get anything out of anymore. He had stopped caring. He had more important things on his mind all the time.
Sometimes he'd show her letters he received from home. Though she couldn't stand the sight of his father's handwriting she'd read them. His father was excited about the Dark Lord being back. He wanted Draco to join the Death Eaters as soon as Draco's education had been completed. Draco wanted to become a Death Eater and sometimes talked about how great it would be. To actually meet the famous Lord Voldemort. To serve him. To be a part of something big and important. To be a part of the power. He wanted to be a part of something that could strike fear into the hearts of the people he hated. The 'Mudbloods' in particular. Ginny would listen to him patiently, waiting for him to kiss her. She didn't care that the one she loved was possibly deranged and evil. She didn't care that he didn't love her back and only came near her because she'd let him do whatever he pleased with her. She loved him. Though she hadn't told him. She was afraid of scaring him off.
How far he had come. From being a petty school boy bully, to being truly powerful. Truly dark. She had glimpsed his darkness. It lived in his soul. She could feel it every time they kissed. Every time they touched. It excited her. She told him of the darkness that she felt in his soul. She told him that she thought it was exciting. He liked it when she told him things like that. Sometimes, if she timed it right, if she touched him in the right place when she told him these things, he would be aroused. She loved it when she was able to do that to him. She loved it when he did it to her.
But he was gone now. And she was alone. Soon the war would be over. Perhaps he would die. Perhaps she would die. It felt truly strange to think of it. She buried herself in work instead. There were plenty of things to do after all.
Auhtor Note: Okay, this was odd. Sorry about the title. It's a cliché. I know.
