Title: L' Estate di Suicidio

Author: Clynn

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, and I'm not making any money off of them.

Author's Notes: I know this took forever, and I'm really sorry. I've had a serious case of writer's block, and I've been sitting at this damn computer for hours trying to get this done. Its 4:30 am and I haven't gone to sleep yet, see what I do for you? :) Anyway, I promise it will not take this long for the next chapter. Sasina- I haven't had a chance to read your story yet, but I will, I promise!

Prophetess of Hearts- I'm sorry, but there won't be a snake. I just don't think I can write well for one, and I don't want it to sound incredibly cheesy or stupid when I try. Harry does get a new pet though, and I hope you like him!

This chapter is for Penguin Sasquatch, who has an incredibly cool screen name, and Magus, who motivated me to keep writing. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 16

I slide off of the bed, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to get rid of the remaining tears. Snape places a hand on my shoulder and steers me back into the living room. Hedwig swoops towards me from her perch on the back of one of the armchairs and lands gently on my shoulder. She twitters in my ear in obvious concern, and I grin. I reach up and playfully ruffle her feathers, and she seems satisfied that I am alright. Nipping my ear softly, she flies to the door and waits for Snape to open in for her. I sink back in my chair, allowing the warmth from the crackling fire to soothe some of my remaining tension. Behind me, I can hear the sound of Snape closing the door after Hedwig, and then a clanking noise that is explained when Snape places a cup of tea in my hand. This is the first time since the incident with Dumbledore that Snape has given me something to drink without taking some for himself, and I glance at him nervously before accepting it. For a moment, I simply sit and feel the heat radiating from the teacup, then I reluctantly lift it to my lips. The hot, sweet liquid settles deep into my stomach, and I release a breath when I realize that it has had no ill effects.

"Don't get too comfortable, we have things to do today!" It isn't until I force myself to open my eyes that I realize that I closed them. Snape is standing over me, laughing. I groan and stretch.

"Do I have to move to do these things? Because you know, it is my birthday, and I'm not sure that its fair to force me to move on my birthday. In fact, I think it would only be right if I spent the whole day in this chair." Snape chuckles again and yanks me to my feet, making me splash a bit of tea on the carpet. For the first time since I met him, Snape fails to notice a spill.

"Come on, Potter, I didn't even give you all your gifts yet! Get ready, we are going outside and it is pouring." I groan again and reach down to pull on my shoes. Snape comes over and pulls out his wand.

"Impervius," he mutters, tapping each shoe. I grin and hold out my cloak to him. He performs the same spell once more, and I throw the cloak over my shoulders.

"Thank you! Lets go!" Snape looks at me for a moment, and then grins.

"Harry, you do realize that you are still in your pajamas, right? And that there is not a chance that people will mistake fleece pants covered in rocket ships for the latest muggle fashion?" I chuckle.

"It is my birthday, Professor. You seem determined to take me outside in the pouring rain when I am perfectly content to curl up in front of the fire, but if you are going to force me into this, you and I are going to have to compromise. If I leave the dungeons, it will have to be in my pajamas. Believe it or not, Professor, I don't really care who sees me." Its amazing how self-conscious I can be about the most ordinary things, and then be willing to do something most people would consider absolutely ridiculous. Still, I'm comfortable, and though I am not entirely happy, I can't ignore my gratitude towards Professor Snape and the fact that he is trying so hard to give me a happy birthday makes me determined to enjoy the day.

Snape rolls his eyes at me, then grabs his cloak and leads me out of the door. The portrait yells a good morning to us as we leave, but Snape doesn't bother responding. He stalks through the halls with the same intensity he uses during the school year, but what I might have once taken for anger, I'm beginning to suspect is merely enthusiasm. Granted, the enthusiasm is still generally directed at catching rule-breakers and handing out detentions, but it is a relief to realize that Snape is not always as furious as he appears.

I find my own excitement growing as I follow Snape not to the front entrance to the school as I had expected, but to a back door. Where ever he is taking me, we clearly are not leaving Hogwarts grounds. Snape walks quickly across the muddy grass, paying no attention to the rain that pounds down on both of us. In fact, Snape's intensity is complimented by this atmosphere, it makes him look more intimidating and foreboding than I have ever seen him. I, on the other hand, have to struggle to keep up, the wind pushing me backwards almost as quickly as I'm able to move forward. Despite the summer heat, the rain soaks into my skin and makes me shiver. Finally, after what seems like hours, we stop in front of Hagrid's hut.

Snape stares for a few seconds at the tiny shack, disdain written across his face. For just a moment, I find the old resent towards my professor building inside me. The expression on his face is the same one I have seen on Malfoy's, at every Care of Magical Creatures lesson, and despite everything Snape has done for me, despite all I have learned about him, I cannot help but become angry. Then, Snape's expression changes. The scorn fades away, and his face is again unreadable. I am grateful, in a way, for this reminder that Snape is as human as I am, that he has his faults as well. It would be so easy, after all he has done for me, to put him on a pedestal, to ignore his mistakes and pretend not to notice when he does something wrong. It is the way I thought of Dumbledore, until the potion incident, and I think part of the reason that it was so hard for me to accept that Dumbledore had made a mistake was because I had never been forced to see him as human before. Nothing had ever been his fault before, nothing that had happened at Hogwarts was directly Dumbledore's fault. In fact, his failure to recognize that Quirrel couldn't be trusted, or that Moody wasn't really Moody at all just served to accent his good qualities. He is a trusting man, he gives people a chance when others would not, it even occurred to me at one point that he let me prove myself. As if I should thank him, for sending me to face Quirrel. Maybe I should, I don't know. It certainly taught me a few things, things I'll need to know when I face Voldemort again. But everything he has ever done was called into question when I was faced with the irrefutable evidence that Dumbledore did, indeed have faults. I don't want that to happen with Snape. As much as it upsets me that Snape has such contempt for Hagrid, that he is quite obviously judging the man by stupid, insignificant material items, it is a great relief to know that I can still see him as human.

Snape notices my stare, and meets my eyes for a second before walking on, up to Hagrid's door. I wonder if he can read my emotion on my face, as I am learning to do with him. I wonder if it would upset him to know that I was angry with him, just a second ago. I wonder if he would be ashamed of having been caught showing contempt for a man based solely on his possessions. I think he would be. Snape may know that he has faults, but he is intensely private about anything that could be conceived as a weakness. It is difficult to imagine him, even as a child, spilling out everything he believed himself guilty of to Professor Dumbledore, as he encourages me to do with him. It is important, I think, that I know Snape would recognize his pretentiousness as a fault. That is the difference between Snape and Malfoy. Malfoy sees his arrogance as confidence, and well-deserved confidence at that. Snape, on the other hand, sees it for what it is, and tries to correct it. That much is obvious to me as we step over the threshold of the cabin. Snape's eyes flick over the meager furnishings for a moment, before Snape actually shakes his head to clear away his negative thoughts, and then turns to face me.

"Well? Are you coming in or not?" I glance nervously inside before stepping in. Hagrid is not home, which does not surprise me. Snape had the courtesy to ask me if I wanted to see Dumbledore and if I minded if Dobby came by, I don't imagine that he would surprise me with a visit to Hagrid. Instead, when I step into the house- which seems much larger when Hagrid isn't occupying half of the space- I find a tiny hippogriff, a baby.

"I found him when I was out looking for some potions ingredients one day. Some people keep hippogriffs as pets, because they think they are pretty and they don't believe the things they are told about them being dangerous. I think someone's hippogriff got pregnant, and they didn't want to deal with a baby, so they dumped it. You can't keep him in the castle, not once the term starts, anyway, but Hagrid will be back by then, and able to look after him for you. He said he would. He won't be able to survive on his own, hippogriffs have to be taught how to hunt by others of their kind, it isn't innate like in most animals. Domestic hippogriffs can never be freed. I thought maybe you would like someone to talk to, in case I'm not available or if you want someone who can't answer back. I know you have Hedwig, but owls are different, they understand everything you say, and they'll let you know exactly how they feel about it. Hippogriffs don't do that, or at least not as much. As long as you don't say anything insulting, they are content to just sit and listen. Anyway, I thought if you didn't want him, he would at least have Hagrid..."

I grin widely at Snape. "Not want him? Of course I want him! He's beautiful! Professor, I don't know what to say, this is the best birthday I have ever had! What is his name?" I walk cautiously over to my new companion, careful not to upset him. He remains curled up on Hagrid's bed, and does not even move away when I carefully begin to stroke his head.

"He doesn't have a name yet, I thought you should name him. He is yours, after all. You really like him?" Snape looks so relieved that I am tempted to laugh. It probably isn't often that Snape goes out of his way to make someone else happy, however, and I feel a need to reassure him that his efforts have not been in vain.

"I love him," I answer softly, staring down at the tiny bundle of feathers and fur. I run my hand over the soft mixture of gray and black that comprises the creature, and rack my brain for a suitable name. "Quirinus," I try, and the animal lifts his head for the first time. The expression on his face is one of unmistakable disgust. Snape, I note, is wearing the same expression. "What? What is wrong with Quirinus? He was a god, you know, and a warrior!" Snape snorts softly, looking at the baby hippogriff. "Alright, so maybe it doesn't suit him. He doesn't look like a fighter, does he?" The hippogriff is beginning to look offended, and I'm suddenly very glad that it is nowhere near as large as Buckbeak. "How about... Craddock? Is that okay?" Snape looks skeptical, but my new hippogriff curls back up on the bed, looking content. I take that as a sign of acceptance. "Craddock it is, then!" This time, Snape visibly winces.

"Where on earth did you hear that name?" Snape's voice is bordering on mocking, and I'm struck by a sudden urge to smack him across the face.

"I think I was reading something for History of Magic or something, I'm not sure. I cam across it when I was studying, in any case. I like it!" Snape sighs and throws up his hands in defeat.

"Alright, alright, you like it, he likes it, I can see I'm outvoted. Pick up... Craddock... He is staying with us until Hagrid returns. But after that, he isn't allowed in the castle, okay?" I nod, and grin, scooping up the tiny body. The walk to the castle doesn't seem half as bad with the small hippogriff radiating warmth into me, bundled up beneath my cloak.