Just My Luck

By: Dark_T-K

Videl: "Hi everyone and welcome to another DBZ Humor, and part 2 of Just My Luck. I'm not the host but I am the new "psychiatrist" on this set."

Vegeta: "Do I have to be an assistant? I could be training to defeat bakarott over there." {points to Goku}

Goku: "Come on Vedge. It will be fun to help the love life of our friends. I'm going to help TK and Gohan while you and Videl help Trunks and Pan." {smiles happily}

Vegeta: {scowls} "You're enjoying this new version of DBZ Humor aren't you Kakarott?"

Goku: "Yes I am."

Vegeta: {face faults and sweat drops} "You are the biggest baka in the universe."

Goku: "I know I am. I have the trophy and framed award in my room." {room and off-set face faults} "What?! It's true!" {everyone face faults again}

TK: "And we can only guess who gave it to him." {calls from the left side of the stage.

Vegeta: "Wasn't me. Kakarott doesn't deserve awards or rewards for being a baka." {crosses his arms}

ultra_gohan: "We all know you gave it to him. Who else would?"

Goku: "Pan!" {everyone face faults except Pan}

Trunks: "Figures."

TK: "She does have a good idea though. Oh well." {slaps Gohan upside the back of his head}

ultra_gohan: "Hey! What I'd do?" {rubs the back of his head}

TK: "That's for…" {thinks for a moment} "I don't know. Cause I'm mad at you!"

Pan: "Thanks for reminding me why I'm mad at Trunks!" {slaps Trunks}

Trunks: "Ouch! Can we get some therapy now before these two go psychotic on us?"

ultra_gohan: "Yeah! I'm going to get more than a migraine from TK's slaps!"

Videl: "Ok. Vegeta you come with me and deal with Pan and Trunks, and son over there can help TK. We'll see how things are going with Son after the story."

Vegeta: "You do know it was a mistake to have bakarott over there be paired with TK. You know he plans to get her one of these days."

Videl: "I know. That's why I sent Goten over to watch them."

Vegeta: "Nice move Sherlock. That's a great defense since the brat can get distracted with the mere mention of food."

Videl: "Enough Vegeta. Our main concern is to fix the problems between Pan and Trunks. You'll talk to Pan, I'll take your son."

Vegeta: "Why do you get Trunks? Why can't I talk some sense into the boy?"

Videl: "Because you'd beat the tar out of him before you had the chance to actually talk. No go reassure Pan and I'll go talk to Trunks." {Videl and Vegeta separate}

{Waiting…Waiting…Waiting}

{Vegeta and Videl walk back}

Videl: "Any luck?"

Vegeta: "That girl refuses to listen to a word I say. None of what I said sank through!"

Pan: {calls from behind} "That's because what you said was stupid and didn't relate to my problem!"

Videl: "Switch people?"

Vegeta: "Agreed."

{Videl and Vegeta switch sides}

Piccolo: "Come on now! Just force them to make up and get on with the blasted story!"

Videl: "Hold on! We're making progress!"

Vegeta: "Shut up namek! If you want to this than come take my place!"

Piccolo: "I...now…it's…"

Vegeta: "That's what I thought."

{20 minutes later}

Videl: We finally managed to get these two back together. Now all we have to do is solve their problem."

Pan: "Why not neuter Trunks. He can't back up his flirts without his-"

Vegeta: "No need to mention those parts here Onna. Might be a good idea to neuter him though."

Trunks: "Dad! You can't possibly agree to that?!"

Vegeta: "Heh, heh, heh. Actually, I can. If it will keep you from flirting with other girls WHILE you're hitched to Onna over there, then fine by me."

TK: {from off set} "We don't neuter saiyans on this set!" {Trunks sighs with relief} "We spade them instead!"

Trunks/Videl/Vegeta/Piccolo: {face fault}

Trunks: You people are nuts! I will not let you tie up my innards just because I'm talking to 18!"

Pan: "That's who you were talking to? Android 18?"

Trunks: "Yes! She was asking how I was doing and we got into a great conversation before you came over and hit me!"

Videl: "You could have said something-"

Trunks: "I did! I was doing that but Pan wouldn't listen!" {sobs hysterically}

Pan: "Awww…Poor baby. I'm sorry." {pulls Trunks over to her chest and hugs him} "Feel better?"

Trunks: {mumbles something} "…no…"

Pan: "Oh! I know!" {kisses Trunks passionately}

Vegeta: "Great! Just what I needed to see today! Brats kissing. That just makes my day swell!"

Videl: "Swell? Never mind. I don't want to know where you learned that word. So, you two a couple again?"

Pan: "Yup!"

Trunks: "Thank the lord! No more pain!"

Videl: "Well that's one problem solved today. We'll check back with Son to see if he helped-"

Vegeta: "Or messed up!"

Videl: {glares} "Helped or made things worse for TK and Gohan."

ultra_gohan: "You're not a doctor! You're a just a loony baka saiyajin that flirts with MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Trunks: "Let's hope Gohan doesn't cause more problems."

Pan: "I don't think its Gohan who's causing the problem."

Vegeta: "That baka! Can't he ever do anything right?"

Audience: "NO!"

Vegeta: "I rest my case."

Videl: "Very funny. We'll get you folks started on the story and see if we can't help Goku along."

ultra_gohan: "Keep your hands off her!"

{TK walks over to Videl and the gang}

Pan: "Aren't you supposed to be over there?" {points off set}

TK: "You want to be in the middle of a heated argument of two mad saiyans then be my guest."

Trunks: "Oih vey. Start the story while we break up those two."

TK: "Gladly! Here ya go folks. Enjoy part two of Just My Luck!"

Vegeta: "Just My Luck that I get turned into a cat!"

TK: {hits Vegeta} "Hush up!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bulma sat in her lab and sighed. This was the best day of her life. She learned her TM worked fine, Vegeta was now a small kitten, and Goku was now torturing the ouji kitten. Life couldn't get any better.

"Did I really do the right thing? Did the ouji really deserve to be a pet to Goku the brainless one? Should I do something to help him?" Bulma asked herself. "Nah!" Trunks than ran into Bulma's lab looking a little scared.

"Mom! Glad I found you!" Trunks said happily then hugged her. Bulma then scowled.

"What did you and Goten do now?" Bulma asked flatly. Taking up one of Goten's traits, Trunks put a hand behind his head and laughed.

"You know that magic set you and dad bought me for Christmas last year?" Bulma nodded. "Well it came with a hypnotizing medallion and…

"And what?" Bulma said flatly. Trunks sweat dropped as he heard whining coming from the upstairs.

"I accidentally put Goten into a trance and Bra said he should be a faithful puppy so now Goten is acting like a puppy!" Trunks rushed out the sentence. A loud crack sounded and Goten rolled down the stairs and crashed on the very bottom. Bulma sweat dropped. "I didn't mean for THAT to happen! Bra said to be a dog! I was just having fun!" Trunks whinnied out. Goten got up, shook his head, the bounded over to Trunks.

"Looks like you have a problem Trunks. Did you read the manual to figure out how to turn him back?" Bulma asked as she stroked Goten's head.

"Uh, what manual?" Bulma face faulted. Goten went up to Bulma's face then licked her cheek than began to pant.

"Trunks! Tell me you had some sort of written instructions to hypnotize a person?!" Bulma shouted. Trunks shook his head. "Great, first Vegeta messes with my machines, then my son hypnotizes my best friend's son. What else could go wrong today?" Bulma groaned out.

"Oh Goten! I just bought a leash, bed, and some doggie treats for you!" Bra called from the upstairs. Both Trunks and Bulma sighed.

"It just got worse."

"Hey ChiChi! I'm home! And I got a wonderful surprise for you!" Goku called out from the doorway.

"Goku! A surprise! How thoughtful of you! What Bulma want?" ChiChi asked. Goku smiled his Son smile at ChiChi.

"Bulma asked if I'd look after this kitten she found! And guess what ChiChi?! The kitten looks like Veggie!" Goku shouted happily. ChiChi face faulted.

"What do you mean the kitten looks like the ouji! No cat on Earth looks like that ouji!" ChiChi snapped.

"Ah huh! Look and see ChiChi! Hey I rhymed." Goku said as he opened his hands to reveal a tiny kitten. Just as Goku said, the kitten looked like a cat version of the ouji.

"oh my…" ChiChi said before she fainted. Both Goku and Vegeta looked down and sweat dropped.

"Guess you're too much for her to handle little Veggie! But don't worry! She'll love once she sees you after bath time!" Goku chirped happily. Vegeta paled immediately.

"Bath! Here?! Onna!" Vegeta roared into the collar! He heard laughing and hissed. Goku looked down at the kitten.

"First thing we're gonna do is take off that hideous collar. Then give a bubble bath! Then dress you up!" Goku said as he de-latched the collar from Vegeta's neck. Vegeta hissed angrily and swiped its tiny paw at Goku's hand. Vegeta made contact giving Goku three slash marks on his finger.

"Yeoch! Little bugger. Nipped me with your little claws you did. But don't worry, you didn't do much damaged." //that's a pity.\\ Goku then began carrying the small kitten to the bathroom.

"Dad! I know you're in here dad!" Gohan called from downstairs. Goku squealed in happiness. //Is there ever a time when he doesn't make squeally noises to annoy people!\\ Goku raced downstairs.

"Hey Gohan! Guess what Bulma just let me take care of?!" Goku screamed in delight. Gohan gulped.

"I hope it's not another fish!" Gohan said backing away from his father slightly. Goku shook his head.

"Nope! Even better than mutant fish! Bulma is letting me take care of a kitten which looks like Veggie!" Goku said opening his large hands again. Vegeta still sat in his hands with a dazed look.

"My word! He does look like Vegeta! What a scary coincidence?" Gohan said as he looked at the kitten. "Looks like you dazed him dad. Need to stop bouncing him around or you'll hurt him." Goku looked down and gasped.

"You're right! He looks awful! I know something that will make him feel and look better!" Goku said proudly.

"And what might that be dad?" Gohan asked skeptically. //Don't say bath! Don't say bath! Don't say BATH!\\ Vegeta prayed in Goku's hands.

"A nice, big, bubbly, bubble bath!" Gohan face faulted while Vegeta just fainted. //why me?\\

"Dad cats hate water. It's a known fact. The poor thing probably will fight just not to put a hair into water." Gohan said as he noticed the kitten's fainted position. Goku smiled.

"Don't worry Gohan! That's why we are going to make sure he enjoys this bath!" Goku said as he puffed up his chest.

"What do you mean by we?"

"I can't believe I got suckered into washing a veggie look-a-like kitten!" Gohan whinnied as he rolled up his sleeves. Goku had a big tub full of water with tons of pink bubbles in it.

"Ah don't worry about it Gohan! This will be fun! Just think how cute little Veggie will look once we're done with him." Goku chirped happily. Goku then turned around and picked up the small cage. "Ok Veggie! Bath time!" Goku opened the door and tried to pull the kitten out.

"You big bakayaro! I will not allow you to drop my in an extra large bathtub WITH PINK BUBBLES then let you wash me! I refuse!" Vegeta hissed as he scratched Goku's intruding hands. Goku yelped in pain and withdrew his hands from the cage.

"Ouch little meanie! Guess he takes after Vegeta after all! The little sucker scratched and bit my hands!" Goku wailed in pain. Gohan rolled his eyes in embarrassment and grabbed the cage. Shaking it hard over the tub the kitten fell out.

"Aie! No! Pink! Mustn't land in pink water!" Vegeta shrieked out as he tried to run over to the edge of the tub. Goku smirked evilly and blew Vegeta back. "Why do I even bother? Oh well. Bombs away!" Vegeta squeaked as he plugged his nose and fell in with a plop.

"Ok! Vegeta's in! Now for the fun part!" Goku shouted happily. Vegeta and Gohan looked at him with a 'weird' look.

"What fun part?!" The both asked. Goku smirked evilly again and pulled out a large brush, and two bottles.

"Gohan I will put the shampoo on him, and you can scrub!" Gohan sigh. Vegeta looked horrified.

"Alright dad. Anything you say." Gohan said as he picked up the brush. Goku picked up the kitten and began dumping apple-smelling shampoo on to him.

"Yuck! What is this gunk Kakarott is dumping on to my beautiful fur!" Vegeta growled lowly. Goku handed Gohan the kitten and very gently Gohan began to scrub. Vegeta purred contently. "If I ever do this again, Gohan is the one who's giving me the bath."

"Gohan that's not how you scrub a cat! It's gotta be harder or you'll never get him clean! Here let me show you." Goku said taking both the brush and Vegeta. Vegeta howled angrily as the scrubbing stopped. Goku then began rubbing really hard on Vegeta's back with the brush. Vegeta screamed. "See. Do it nice and hard and you get all the dirt!"

"Dad! Maybe you should stop! You're making the kitten extremely angry!" Gohan said in fear. Goku shook he head and continued scrubbing Vegeta hard. //That's it. He's going down!\\ Vegeta said mentally. Vegeta then hissed angrily, shot up and attached its small, furry, wet, body onto Goku's face.

"AHHHHH! Mad cat! Mad cat!" Goku screamed as he ran around the bathroom in panic. Gohan watched as the kitten managed to beat up his father. Then, Goku's stepped on to a bar of soap. "AHHHH!" thump. Goku was knocked unconscious.

"Told him not to do that." Gohan said prying Vegeta off Goku's face. "He never listens." Gohan said as he finished scrubbing Vegeta and rinsing him off. Vegeta was proud of his small defeat of the large baka. Pulling out a blow dryer, Gohan dried off the kitten ouji.

"EEK! What have you done to me! I'm a giant…SMALL ball of fluff!" Vegeta shrieked as he noticed he was floating in the air.

"Ok. Now to brush you and wait for dad to come to." Gohan said as he shook his head at his unconscious father. Picking up a smaller brush, Gohan began to brush the fur down on Vegeta. Vegeta, enjoying the first brushing he got, purred contently in Gohan's lap.

"It's a sad thing when I've been reduced to a purring ball of fluff." Vegeta said as he continued to purr. Gohan picked up the kitten and looked him over. All we have to do is brush the tuft of hair on your head and we'll be done." Gohan said as he took a comb and brush the fur. "What do you think?" Gohan asked as he finished brushing. Pulling out a mirror and setting it down, Gohan let Vegeta go take a look at himself.

"Not bad boy. I like your style. Slow and careful yet comes out making me look handsome. You're hired for a hairstylist kid." Vegeta meowed as he turned around to get a good look at his entire body. "Good work indeed." Gohan picked up the kitten.

"Glad you like it Vegeta-sama. Now we'll go put you into a small bed and get my father and ice pack." They both looked down at the unconscious Goku and shook their head.

Bulma and Trunks searched through Trunks' room in order to find some kind of instructions. Goten laid on the bed sleeping soundly.

"There has to be a way to snap Goten out of his trance!" Trunks said as he rummaged under his bed.

"You better hope so of ChiChi will have BOTH our hides!" Bulma snapped as she searched Trunks' closet.

"Aha! I found it mom!" Trunks shouted. Bulma raced from the closet and looked at the instructions.

"Says here that when hypnotizing a person, make sure you have a way to break their trace of they remain in hypnosis for…Oh boy." Bulma said. "Did you have a way to break it?" Bulma said looking down. Trunks sweat dropped.

"Well…I told him that he was feeling very sleepy. He fell asleep. Bra screamed he should be a dog and snapped her fingers, and then he woke up and started acting like this." Trunks paused for a moment. "None of that sounded like the finishing touch did it?"

"No. And that's bad because if ChiChi finds out she'll-" The phone rang cutting Bulma off. A robot entered the room and handed the phone to Bulma. "Thanks. Hello?"

"Bulma! Goku told me you gave him a Vegeta looking kitten to take care of!" ChiChi said cheerfully.

"Yes I did. Why? Is there a problem?" Bulma sighed. There's a problem alright, and I'm betting it's Vegeta.

"My Goku was knocked unconscious by your vicious kitten. He attacked my Goku and scratched up his beautiful face." Bulma fell on the floor laughing.

"You gotta be kidding me ChiChi! Goku! Defeated by a measly kitten. Now that's funny!" Bulma said as she continued to laugh.

"It's not funny when he's putting bows on the cat! Dressing it up in Barbie clothes! And giving it a pink bubble bath!" ChiChi screamed. Bulma fell down and laughed harder.

"Man oh man. I wish I could see." Bulma said as she wiped a tear from her eye. ChiChi sighed.

"You can see. Goku just left saying he was going over to your place to pick up bows, and some Barbie clothes." Bulma laughed once again.

"Ok ChiChi. I'll go check it out." They hung up the phone. Bulma and Trunks looked at each before bursting out laughing. "Best go see what Goku and your sister are up to. Try to break the trance if you can." Trunks nodded and began to toy with Goten.

"I hate my life." Vegeta said flatly as both Goku and Bra dressed him up in dolls clothing. He has a pink bow tied around his neck and one around his tail. Goku even went over board and put four more on him, one on each paw.

"Wow he's so cute! Daddy would probably flip if he saw us doing this to a mini him!" Bra chirped happily. Goku smiled and put a dress on to Vegeta.

"There! All done! Now don't you look cute!" Goku smiled as he put a mirror in front of Vegeta. Vegeta looked hopelessly over to the mirror then shrieked!

"Ack! Pink! Pink bows! Pink lipstick! Pink dress! That's where I cross the line!" Vegeta shouted out as he tried to rip the offending objects off his body. Bulma walked in to see Goku and Bra laughing hysterically at the ouji kitten who was trying to get off the offending objects.

"Vegeta! Oh my g-d! You look so funny!" Vegeta squeaked in embarrassment. Bulma walked over to the kitten.

"Do you know how mad I am? Bakarott here is making me do dress up! He gave me a bath! IN PINK BUBBLES!" Vegeta howled out angrily. Bulma didn't understand a word he said.

"Sorry Goku. Let me have Vegeta for a while ok?" Bulma said running her fingers through Vegeta's fun. Vegeta sighed.

"I've been saved." Vegeta purred. Goku whimpered in protest. Bulma sighed.

"Ok Goku. I'll let you keep him for now! But before you go I wanna see him ok?" Goku nodded happily and snatched Vegeta back. //Why me? Why?\\

"I'll make sure Veggie is happy Bulma. Before you know it he'll be so attached to me he won't want to leave!"

"I'll want to leave I'll right. You will probably make sure I can't!" Vegeta growled out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Videl: "Welcome back! I can see you all enjoyed the story and are just dying to find out how TK and Gohan are fairing out."

Trunks: "Don't bother to ask. Goku screwed it up."

Pan: "Oih. He's flirting with TK and Gohan can't stop getting mad."

ultra_gohan: "You call him a doctor! He's making out with TK!"

Vegeta: "And how did he manage to do that?"

ultra_gohan: "When he uses ki-resistant handcuffs and ties you to a chair, IT'S NOT HARD!" {is handcuffed to a chair}

Group: {face faults}

Audience: {face faults}

World: {face faults}

Pan: "And she didn't resist?"

ultra_gohan: "Would she ever resist Goku?"

Videl: "He's got a point."

Trunks: "Best thing to do is find them and separate them."

ultra_gohan: "Oh that's not hard. He took her into the closet. He tied her up then closed the door. Then I heard SMOOCHING SOUNDS!" {points at the door and screams.

Pan: "Vegeta would you mind grabbing Goku while I get TK. Trunks get Gohan a chill pill and try to get to sit down!"

Trunks: "Right. I'll see what I can do. Come on Gohan. Let's find you a punching bag." {escorts Gohan off the set}

Vegeta: "Bakarott is really going to get it this time. Having permission to kiss the girl is one thing, stealing her is another!"

Videl: "That's Son. Tries all flavors. Though I don't think TK minds this."

Pan: "We've known she's had a crush on Goku for how long Videl?"

Videl: "All the time we've known her."

Vegeta: "That's nice. Let's just get this over with."

Pan: "Right!" {opens the door}

Vegeta: "KAK-arott?" {stares in disbelief}

{Goku is laying on the floor out cold and TK is tied to a chair smirking proudly}

Pan: "What, pray tell, happened here?"

TK: "Stuck a sleeping pill in my mouth, chewed it up, then forced it down his throat. Man I am good. Miss the attention though. So are you three here to free me?"

Videl: "Smooth move TK."

Vegeta: "Any more dirty tricks and I swear she would make a perfect saiyan."

Pan: "Let's just get her out of there."

Videl: "Right." {unties TK and helps TK up}

TK: "Thanks. I thought you guys would never come to get me. Boy was I bored." {yawns and stretches}

Pan: "How long has he been out?"

TK: "I'd say…about an hour now."

Pan/Videl/Vegeta: {face fault}

TK: "Where's Gohan? I though I'd might take him out for ice cream or something. I'm starving."

Videl: "Trunks took him out for some fresh air. I'd say he needed it."

Vegeta: "I say we shouldn't have put bakarott in charge of TK and Gohan. He screwed it up again!"

Pan: "We know. That's the last time Son gets to be with TK alone."

TK: "I dunno. I kinda liked him kissing my in front of Gohan. That incident might straighten Gohan out."

Videl: "I hope so. You better go find him. He's probably freaking out now."

TK: "Yeah, you're right. C-ya folks." {zips off of set}

Vegeta: "Well she's gone. What do we do with him?" {points to Goku}

Pan: "I wish. But we better move him, or somebody will trip over him."

Vegeta: "Mainly me."

{Goku wakes up and stands wobbly}

Goku: "TK? TK! Alright! Where did she go?!"

Videl/Pan/Vegeta: "That way." {points to the door}

Goku: "Thank you. TK here I come!" {dashes away}

Pan: "Did we do the right thing?"

Videl: "Maybe."

Vegeta: "He's not our concern anymore, it's the onnas."

Pan: "True. Well better close up. Vegeta would you like the honors?"

Vegeta: "What honor?"

Videl: "Just close the story!"

Vegeta: "Fine! Bye!"