Why does everyone hate us?
Part 3: Enter Hojo, the Arima impersonator

Authors notes: Due to popular demand Hojo will be getting into this fic as well. Anyone ever notice that Hojo acts and sort of looks like Arima from Kare Kano? Well that's going to come to haunt Hojo later. Grenda the princess from hell is a character from the anime Puchi puri yuushi which hasn't been released here yet. There was an episode where the dog people of hell got turned into cats.

Unlike Kikyo, Naraku and Jaken Hojo was more or less oblivious to his own unpopularity. Hojo had spent many years studying in two fields. One was in obscure crackpot medicine and the other was how to win girls over. Secretly Hojo would sneak out of the Inuyasha universe and observe male bishounen protagonists from various romantic comedy animes and then he would try to act like them. The one he tried to emulate the most was Arima from Kare Kano. So far he managed to get with some freshmen girl but he also wanted Kagome too. But Kagome already had two powerful canine men fighting over her. He'd never win in a fight with either one of them so he'd have to use brains instead.

Meanwhile in the Kare Kano universe

"Yukino.. I have favor to ask you."

"What is it Arima?"

"Well I know you better then anyone. I know that you're a nice person but I also know that you have an evil side to your personality that likes to crush your opponents into dust. I feel kind of awkward asking but I need evil Yukino."

"Why?"

Arima held up a picture of Hojo. "I only noticed it a few weeks ago but this guy has been following me around and taking notes. I followed him a few days ago and it turns out he's an Inuyasha character. He's ripping off my personality and using it to pick up girls."

"That's awful! Just leave it to me! I'll crush him like a bug! HAHAHA!"

"That's my Yukino!"

Meanwhile

"Jaken is very scared!" Jaken said with Pedro tears going down his face. Jakotso had dressed him up in a red dress and sat him down at a little table with teacups. There were three dolls sitting there too. One was a chucky doll that was giving Jaken a psychotic look, there was also a blind folded ken doll dressed only in bondage straps and a beheaded Barbie doll. Jakotsu poured some tea into the beheaded Barbie dolls neck.
"Inuyasha can you pass Chucky the sugar?"

"B-b-but I'm afraid of it!"

"Silly rabbit, sugar if just this sweet white stuff you put in cakes. It won't hurt you."

"Not the sugar I mean Chucky! Oh god he has a knife!"

Jakotsu took out has snake bone sword and cut Chuckys head off. "There now he's all dead now and won't hurt you. Now can you pass him the sugar?"

"It's only a matter of time before this psychopath does the same to me! I've got to find a way to escape!" Jaken said to himself.

"Fine then if you don't like sugar we can have fun with chocolate sauce. Now take off your clothes!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

elsewhere

Inuyasha had just been sat by Kagome about a thousand times and his butt hurt like hell. Thanks to Narakus attempts to get them to confess their love he was having some second thoughts about their relationship.

Inuyashas vishion of the future

"Sorry I forgot to take out the garbage."

"sit!"

"Woops I forgot to put the seat down!"

"Sit! Inuyasha now look what you did! You broke the toilet! Sit again! Now you broke the floor too! How many times do I have to make you sit before you learn your lesson. Ooops I said sit again."

"Owwww.. Is there a doctor in the house?"

Kikyo was walking down the street wearing the same sort of suspicious trench coat Inuyasha wore in the first chapter. "Hey Kikyo!"

"I'm not Kikyo!"

"Yes you are. Why are you dressed like that?"
"Oh it's just you Inuyasha."

"Hey Kikyo. I was thinking maybe we could get back together. I mean hell doesn't seem like such bad place. I heard they had cats down there that I can chase."

"Those cats used to be dogs!" said a little girl with purple pigtails.

"I'm Grenda the princess of hell and after the noodle incident with Naraku you've been banned from ever coming back to hell." She said pointing at Kikyo.

"B-but! I'm Kikyo! You have to let me into hell?"

"Oh sure! Your Kikyo! Who the hell are you? I'm the princess of hell and I say anyone who advertises so shamelessly in the tabloids will not be allowed in hell. You can go make a fool of yourself in the tabloids in heaven but not in my kingdom! We have a reputation to uphold!" Grenda stormed out of the inuyasha universe and back into her anime.

"Who the hell was that brat? And what did she mean?"

"Oh it's nothing. Well if we can't go to hell , lets go to the next best place, New York city!" Kikyo started tugging Inuyashas arm. Inuyasha was beginning to think there was something very wrong going on here.

"Kikyo how could you!" Inuyasha hears someone say. They turned to see Kagura with tears in her eyes.

"I thought I was the only one for you!"

"Uhhh.." Inuyasha started to say with a big giant sweat drop on the side of his head.

"That was all just a big mistake Kagura!"

"Was it a mistake when you kissed me?" Kagura held up the tabloid photo of Kikyo kissing a very naked Kagura.

"Holy shit!" said Inuyasha getting up. "You were planning on two timing me!" Kikyo and Kagura both fell over.

"Inuyasha, this isn't what it looks like and besides you were planning on doing the same thing with Kagome and me."

"Feh!" "Kikyo if I can't have you all to myself no one will have you!" Kagura took out her fan and smashed both Kikyo and Inuyasha through a brick wall. Kagura was pissed off. Both of them started to run away. "Oh you won't escape!" Kagura summoned thousands of dead soldiers out of the ground who began to chase Inuyasha and Kikyo. They ended up getting cornered in an alley.

"Kikyo, your dead, try to talk some sense into them!" Inuyasha said as they ran away from the horde of dead people.

"All right I'll give it a try. Listen I know that people discriminate against us because were dead, they always try to stick us in those boxes and put us in the ground. But were not the ones to blame for that. Try taking your anger out on someone who deserves it!"

"Heh! Your please fall on death ears Kikyo! Now I'm going to give you a fate worse then death!"

"Hey I'm a victim here too Kagura can you let me out of here?"

"Only if you promise to kill Naraku for me."

"Fine! Fine! Just get these dead people away from me!" The dead people let Inuyasha through.

"Now Kikyo , you shall meet your fate!" two dead people grabbed her arms and pinned her against the wall. Kagura got off her feather and walked towards her.

"No! You wouldn't! Kagura I don't have confidence in my body!"

"Not that you idiot? Just what do you think I am?" Kagura took out a black marker. "This is a magic yokai marker, it's mark will be with you forever."

"No wait a minute, I do have confidence in my body, you can have your way with me instead!"

"It's too late for that Kikyo, after all this isn't a lemon as much as that ecchi author may like the idea."

"No! Kill me instead!"

Kagura drew a mustache and glasses on Kikyos face.

Later

"Kikyo.. This is none of my business but why are you wearing a Zech's Marquis mask?" asked Inuyasha. "My shame is so great that I may never show my face to the world ever again."

"Oh. I thought you were going to an anime convention or something."

Meanwhile

"Now Shippo. This is your first lesson in being evil. Those unsuspecting people down there will be your victims. This is your assistant instructor Happosai." Naraku said pointing at the little old man with the sack of panty's.

"Yeah, Naraku and I are old friends. We used to go around doing evil things to everyone. Ahhh those were the days. Naraku would trick people into killing each other and I would steal their pantys."

"Yes but today were going to do something a little different. So Happosai, do you have it?"

"OOOOH Yeah!" Happosai said grinning evilly. He pulled out a wooden ladle and some water balloons. "Each of these is from the spring of drowned girl, and this is the curse locking ladle. Soon we'll be up to our ears in beautiful women!"

"Wow, Mr. Naraku, I never knew being evil was so much fun!"

"Yeah but you have to look evil as well Shippo. Here, wear this Darth Vader helmet."

Too be continued