****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on this chapter*****
Not because I need positive reinforcement...I am doing this for my own enjoyment...but I don't see the point in going through the trouble of posting
and stuff if not a damned person is gonna read it and like it...there's no point. That's why I need the 10 positive reviews...
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FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER:
I'm sorry, I got one semi-complaint on this chapter, and I just HAD to go back and fix the whole damned thing! Read it if you want, the storyline
has been almost entirely preserved, but a lot of dialogue has been changed/added. All in all, I just made the damn thing longer, and in my opinon
a LOT better than what it was...if you liked it the first time, read it again! Hopefully it'll clarify any confusion my fragmented writing seemed to cause...
Thanks!
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:::
Another apology::: I was punished for 2 weeks, then I got caught using the computer during that time, so I was then punished for another MONTH
and then, when a project happened to be due, I tried to print a file and noticed that nothing worked...so...my laptop's been broken since I've been
rounded...so nothing works goddammit! My Dad and 2 of his friends, 2 of my friends and my Grandfather [DO NOT EVEN WONDER ABOUT THAT!]
have been trying to fix it for more than 3 weeks with NO RESULTS! Also, it's been hectic and in this time, I haven't been writing much...I decided
to force myself to edit this chapter...
***********************************
Thank you all with constructive comments! Like I said, I couldn't reply to your reviews to thank you, but I WAS able to at least read them [courtesy
of another friend's computer].
It seems...fragmented [for those of you who noticed] because I wrote the first part one night...and the second came very painfully...about a week
later...at 2 am...I just typed it out of the blue and posted, never bothering to check it over...[the part I'm talking about is the part when Kikyo starts
quoting "High Fidelity"...]
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!
MY APPOLOGIES!!!
PLEASE FEED ME!
[Holds up sign labeled "VERMONT OR BUST!!!" blinks, looks anxiously about and flips it over so it reads: "WILL WRITE FOR FOOD!!!"]
Seriously, though:
"HEHEHE! HEY KIDS! IT'S STORYTIME!!!"
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Thank you for being just what you are...
And no more...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inu Yasha ran as fast as he could. Just ran, as the naiad's words rang through his head:
"Do not forget, my Dreamer......................"
And the worst part was that Inuyasha knew what she didn't want him to forget. He knew. He wanted to forget it. And she had
made him remember...
So he ran...
Ran on and on through the countryside of feudal Japan. Not caring where he was going...just trying to forget.
Forget.
Forget it all...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK...and only you and me know it so shhh! Don't tell Inu! He doesn't know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was beauty. Pure beauty. Calm and fluid, like a placid lake. Like an ocean. Cool and under control, nuturing and
life-giving one moment, and in the next moment, she could drown everything in a torrent of rage. A deadly torrent. This was
Kikyo, priestess of the Shikon no Tama; The Jewel Of Four Souls; The Sacred Jewel. A jewel which had the power to make any
demon, man or beast far stronger than it truly was. A jewel able to change a half demon into a whole demon...or a whole
human. The power to make Inuyasha belong...
But now that he had this angel, Kikyo, he wasn't alone. He belonged. He belonged to her, and she to him, and he didn't
want the Shikon jewel. The only thing he wanted was her. She was his breath, his life-giving water. Without her there was no
reason to Live...but she didn't know how he felt. She didn't know she meant not only the World to Inu, but Heaven and Hell too.
She didn't know anything about the intense storm of feelings she inspired within him.
And even now as she looked to the night sky Inuyasha couldn't help but love her. The stars above shed their light
playfully across her cheeks and lit up her heartwarming smile.
"Never before have I seen the stars so bright and clear"
Kikyo gasped with an amazed look like that of an astounded child while her wide eyes filled with the ethereal lights above the couple,
and it seemed as if the Heavens had been made for her, and her alone, as a tribute to the infinate glory of her being.
Inuyasha nearly froze then at the sight and his heart felt as if he had the body of a four hundred pound old man. Inuyasha had come here for a
reason, but he was so in awe by the woman before him, he could do naught but stare at her with as much wonderment as she had for the
stars in the sky. She chose that very moment to turn to him with a...
"a look that could've easily been confused for one of adoration" Inuyasha thought to himself bitterly, "if I were only an ounce more of a blindly
lovesick fool! I probably have something on my face...or maybe she's finally realized how hideous I am..." his ears drooped. Her eyes began to fill
with tears that had been held back for an indescribable amount of time, but those tears didn't drop. Yet.
"Inu-kun" she said suddenly and grabbed him by the shoulders. Her head rested upon his chest, and Inuyasha could hear
her quiet sobbing and feel her sweet tears soak through his shirt. Without thinking he rested his face in her ebony hair
and began to sing a sweet tune.
"Never knew, I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss,
Everyday I love you, more and more.
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything...
Seasons may change, Winter to Spring,
But I love you, until my dying day..."
And her heavenly tear stained face rose from his chest to look at him. Her eyes seemed overcome with that feeling, that expression that
Inuyasha wouldn't allow himself to mistake for adoration...or...Love. And, again, without thinking he leaned in to kiss her, and she met his lips without
any resistance. In fact, she took his lips rather hungrily, as if all she had ever wanted was this. As if she needed him as much as he needed her,
which Inu just couldn't accept. It was impossible!
"Nobody would ever love a mutt like me," he thought. "and just look what I've done! I've taken my obsession to a new
level! I forced myself upon her..." broke the dangerously sweet kiss, rose to his feet and began to walk down the hill.
"Just walk! Walk away you useless bastard! Leave her here and never, ever bother her again...she doesn't deserve that
burden! If you can't control your own actions, then who can protect her?!?! Who can save her from you...?" He kept thinking,
"Leave her forever and do her a favor...and never again stare into those orbs of darkened light...those beautiful...DAMN IT! WALK YOU WORTHLESS
MASS OF NOTHING!" and he began to walk faster as he fought against himself inside his own mind.
"Inuyasha!" she cried out before he had gotten more than ten feet away from her.
"Don't leave me!" she choked out through a flood of new tears that made Inuyasha stop and want to run around and grab her in his arms.
"Don't leave me now.Not now. Not ever." she repeated softly. "I need you. Come back to me...please."
"Kikyo...I couldn't..." Inuyasha replied turning around, but still standing his ground.
"Inuyasha...I can't be alone right now..."
"I won't leave you...I'll be at the foot of the hill...guarding you..."
"That's...not...it...I'm...I'm so afraid. For once, all the tragedy... the hardship... all that I've ever seen... All the evil I've committed...it all
has come crashing down on me. It's like I'm trapped, and disoriented. And Alone. I can't tell what's up or down, what's black or white anymore.
I feel so lost, Inuyasha...like all I've known...all I've been... just...went away. And I'm left with nothing. I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just
want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand? But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself
anymore...but then there's you...and...all I want is to be near you...with you...It's like you make all that vanish."
Inuyasha shrugged and turned away, though the words she had said made his soul rejoice.
"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."
"Do you really want to know why...?" Inuyasha asked meekly, turning to face her once more.
"Yes."
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."
"I trust you."
"That's not all there is to it though!"
"It isn't? Well, then, tell me, what else is there?"
Inuyasha rushed back up the hill, stopped three inches from Kikyo's face and knelt, refusing to make eye contact
with her. He gulped once, twice and tried to gather the words he came here to say and found that he had just about lost every single one. He
gathered all his strength and courage and innermost feelings and decided to wing it, though he cursed himself under his breath during every moment
of it all.
"Priestess. I brought you here to pledge my life to your cause. To pledge my life to you. I will give you all I can.
I cannot bear to see you unhappy and I will do whatever I must to keep you happy and safe...and I..."
"Inu...yasha..." Kikyo murmured.
"I...I want you to know I would give you all I can give, but I don't have much...I don't have much to give you. All I
have is my heart. All...I can give you is my love...But that'd be like giving you Beauty, if it were mine to give, it's futile, because you already
posess it. But, I give it to you regardless...Lady Kikyo I love you..."
And his amber eyes so injured and full of shame looked up into her own murky depths, searching for something... Understanding, Forgiveness,
he didn't know what. All he saw was her sadness.
"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."
"Inuyasha...the only thing that could possibly make me happy is you. Never leave me..."
And again, that sadness rising up from the blurry seas of teary eyes found an answering twang from the depths of
Inuyasha's chest. A place man would define, "the heart". A place lovers could not define. A place that created a feeling
a lover could never forget. This pang came from a place infinately more than the heart. It came from a place that Science and
Words could never understand or locate.
"The sadness," he stated boldly, "never do I want to see the likes of it again. Never do I want sorrow to rise up
in your heart when you see me. Never do I wish to cause you grief."
He moved again to kiss her, to kiss her for as long as he possibly could without suffocating, and it seemed that she
wanted the same. His hands moved over her dark tresses while he kissed her, feeling the soft strands and smelling the sweet
smells of the herbs that he had come to identify with Kikyo. When he finally broke the kiss, he found himself entwined in
the feather-soft limbs of the sorrowful priestess and answered her embrace with a gentle one of his own.
She then took her graceful hands and began to rub his body, as one would scratch a good dog. A VERY good dog...first
starting with his ears in an odd circular rhythm that varied with each individual finger. Inu, acting as any good dog would, was enjoying this thoroughly.
Then slowly, and subtly, her hands worked their way down, and Inuyasha, so drunk in the pleasure of it all didn't notice when Kikyo's deft fingers
removed his tunic. All he noticed was the beatiful swan-like creature before him, that is, until she began to remove his pants...
"Ki-Ki-Kikyo...what are you doing?!?!"
Inuyasha fairly stammered as his bright scarlet blood shone through a skin that appeared to be transparent. His face now the color of a stop sign or
red traffic light. Inuyasha, for all his toughness and manliness, was still...a virgin. Sad, sad truth of it was, that even though he had been an outsider
to both humans and demons, there were those of either persuasion who had always tried to...get...frisky... with him, since he wasn't at all bad looking
or particularly weak. In fact he would've been a good catch for a village girl or weak demoness, but the trick was catching him. He didn't want to
be caught. He didn't really ever see the point in it all...until now...
Noting his hesitation, Kikyo ceased her rubbing and took his hand, and just waited. She waited patiently for minutes. Many minutes.
Too many. Kikyo let out a surpressed whimper. Her eyes begged him to do it. They filled with tears again, which she pushed away sucessfully.
"Kikyo, what's wrong...?" he asked dreading her answer, but knowing he had no choice but to ask.
"Inu...you know how I'm feeling right now. I've told you, and I'm sure you've been through it yourself, several times..."
Inuyasha nodded.
"And...what I'm going to say is going to...sound...just...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm." Kikyo confronted his confusion and
hesitation head on.
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later." Inuyasha replied, trying to hide the panic raging inside him, almost stronger
than his Love for her. Almost stronger than his wish to do her will and see her happy. Almost, but not quite.
Kikyo kissed his brow once more and whispered sweetly in his ear the best words Inuyasha had heard- besides "Kikyo" and "I love you"
-
"Don't be afraid".
And it was as if with that statement his fears really were banished to some unreachable place by this strong Asian goddess. Strong and
beautiful...and removing her robes.
*************************************************************************************
Inuyasha laid barenaked on the grass next to Kikyo, who was far more beautiful naked than she was fully clothed and
adorned. Then again, she was never unadorned, since it seemed that all of nature fitted itself to suit her. The soft cool green grass a fitting carpet
for the events that had unfolded...
They had done it twice. The first time was clumsy, if anything in conjuction with such a woman woman could be, and hurried, but extremely
enjoyable nonetheless, and surprisingly unstartling. Not frightening at all... The second time had been far better, though, since Inuyasha had shed his
inexpirience and bashfulness. Also, the frenzied urgency that seemed to drive both of them the first time was virtually gone, so the second expirience
was far far slower and intimate. Far more...divine.
After it was done, Kikyo got up and began to run like a little girl naked through the forests with Inuyasha chasing
her. The night's music comforted and cradled them and the dark was like a giant warm blanket. A blanket they had made love under. They laughed
so hard and felt so much joy, neither one could think of much else besides that moment and the one who was sharing it with them. Inuyasha learned
one thing from that;
If ever an angel should appear on the Earth, ask her, without haste, to remove her clothing and run in the woods. No matter what the punishment
that follows, it will always be worth it...
When Kikyo had tired, Inuyasha gathered her up into his arms and carried her back to the starry hill that displayed a sky beginning to turn
a ruddy purple color. They cuddled up next to one another under the cover of Inuyasha's cloak, though they didn't need it. Kikyo curled up like a
small child sleeping next to her favorite dog. Inuyasha.
"Tomorrow, Inuyasha, I will bring the jewel to you, and we will be able to live like this the rest of our lives." Kikyo sighed.
"Tomorrow? Won't you be tired? And sore?" Inuyasha joked, although rather sincerely.
"Heh. I'm not tired yet. Do you want proof" She replied quickly, forcing herself out of her daze.
"Not now, Kikyo. I've had enough... I'm only half demon, you know. Tomorrow, then."
"I thought you said you could never have enough!" she giggled
"That's true...but...anymore, and I'm afraid it'll fall off! I'm sore..."
"Shhh...alright. Are you okay...?" Kikyo asked of his pain.
"Yeah, just...not used to it...the pain's worth it, angel. I can handle it. I intend to pay you back in full tomorrow!" he laughed.
"Yes, tomorrow. Inu-kun, I love you."
"I love you too, my goddess, Kikyo. Please rest, I couldn't bear it to see you tired next morn'..."
"Very well..." Kikyo sighed, moving closer into the circle of his arms, so that there was barely a centimeter of space between their two
bodies. Her heavy-lidded eyes turned to his, for once, full of happiness. Happiness that Inuyasha would see only once, besides in his very own
dreams. Neither one knew it, but the first would also be the last.
"Sing me a song, like the one you sang earlier" she said, and fell asleep almost as soon as she felt the strong deep
vibrations rise to the air from Inuyasha's throat. He began to hum another unknown tune that came from what he was sure was a
higher power than any he had ever encountered. [A/N: Of course, those mystical powers COULD have been a local FM station...certain pagan
religions have been know to worship them...(lol...)]
"Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space"
And an almost supernatural sound, another man's voice and an odd music filled the air around Inuyasha, getting louder and louder.
"We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away"
*********************************************************************
Inuyasha closed his eyes, and opened them again, to see Kikyo laying in his arms just as she was. But they were not
on the hill, and there were no stars above them. It was a white spackled ceiling, with a few water stains, and cracks in it. The two lovers lay in a
messy unmade bed with blue and yellow sheets decorated with a flower print. And the woman next to him was not Kikyo.
An FM alarm clock radio echoed out:
"Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for this sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far"
The new "Our Lady Peace" song, Inuyasha remembered but still didn't remember where he was, or how he had gotten here.
"You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails I'll wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far"
And he remembered. The girl next to him was Kagome.
"Kagome..." Inuyasha said breathlessly. Like Kikyo, but, younger. Happier. Or so she would have you think...
Upon hearing her name and being startled by the peak volume of the song, the girl woke.
"What's wrong Inu-kun? You look...startled."
Startled he was, but he managed to wipe the expression off his face, stop staring at this twin of Kikyo, turn around and walk briskly down
the hall, finding solace in the words he sang that reverberated off the beige walls of the hallway in the small and cheap apartment he now found
himself in. As he walked he tried to understand, what had happened to Kikyo. Why he was here, how
he'd found that girl. What did she mean to him? What had happened last night? Was...it as good as it was with Kikyo...? He wished the music
could be his anesthesia, but it wasn't.
His drug was a woman...or perhaps two...
He sang anyway;
"You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know....................."
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Author's Notes: THAT WAS SO FUN!!! But it was so frikken hard! I've never really even WRITTEN fluff for anything public...so...it's been...interesting...
and very enjoyable...I have yet to write erotica...and I figured I MAY scare some old reviewers away with anything hardcore, so I kept it PRETTY
tame...e-mail me requesting erotica, and I'll try it!
anyways: It's been soooo long since I've been with ANYONE, least of all a guy, so I had a BIT of trouble finding inspiration for this fluff...! This
resulted in this taking over a week to write, and me begging anyone I knew to revise it... I think it came out decently though...
****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on this chapter*****
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 3rd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" [or maybe not...the story has
changed A LOT since I first planned it out, but I will DEFINATELY USE THE SONG SOMETIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!]
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Copyright stuff:::
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."
"Do you really want to know why...?"
"Yes"
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."'
This was pretty much taken directly from the script of the movie "Cruel Intentions". Expect to see me use more quotes from
that movie later on. IT KICKS MAJOR ASS!!! THAT'S WHY!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."'
&
'"...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm."
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later."'
Both of these quotes are loosely based on ones from the movie "High Fidelity". Good movie. I loved these quotes so much! I JUST HAD TO USE
THEM! Originally, I used the real quotes, almost word for word, but they seemed a bit out of place [hey, the movie's about a man who owns a
record store and his girlfriend! GIVE ME A BREAK! It was HARD AS HELL to make em fit AT ALL!]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Kikyo says:
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand?
But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore..."
I was using a Dido song I'm sure NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF! It's called "Honestly OK" It goes like this...:
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again,
I just want to feel safe in my own world,
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin,
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my skin, I just want to feel happy again."
Yes, I know. You all hate Dido. I LOVE Dido! And this song just fit so...too bad!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The first song Inu sings is from Moulin Rouge and is called "Come What May"...Can't find the lyrics, or song info...that info
will, however be forthcoming. Maybe. If you close your eyes and think happy thoughts...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The second song is called "Somewhere Out There" [if memory serves me correctly] and is, as mentioned, sung by Our Lady Peace
[good band, sucky name]
Lyrics are as follows:
"Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for this sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails I'll wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know"
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REVIEW!
Not because I need positive reinforcement...I am doing this for my own enjoyment...but I don't see the point in going through the trouble of posting
and stuff if not a damned person is gonna read it and like it...there's no point. That's why I need the 10 positive reviews...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THE ORIGINAL VERSION OF THIS CHAPTER:
I'm sorry, I got one semi-complaint on this chapter, and I just HAD to go back and fix the whole damned thing! Read it if you want, the storyline
has been almost entirely preserved, but a lot of dialogue has been changed/added. All in all, I just made the damn thing longer, and in my opinon
a LOT better than what it was...if you liked it the first time, read it again! Hopefully it'll clarify any confusion my fragmented writing seemed to cause...
Thanks!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AUTHOR'S NOTE:::
Another apology::: I was punished for 2 weeks, then I got caught using the computer during that time, so I was then punished for another MONTH
and then, when a project happened to be due, I tried to print a file and noticed that nothing worked...so...my laptop's been broken since I've been
rounded...so nothing works goddammit! My Dad and 2 of his friends, 2 of my friends and my Grandfather [DO NOT EVEN WONDER ABOUT THAT!]
have been trying to fix it for more than 3 weeks with NO RESULTS! Also, it's been hectic and in this time, I haven't been writing much...I decided
to force myself to edit this chapter...
***********************************
Thank you all with constructive comments! Like I said, I couldn't reply to your reviews to thank you, but I WAS able to at least read them [courtesy
of another friend's computer].
It seems...fragmented [for those of you who noticed] because I wrote the first part one night...and the second came very painfully...about a week
later...at 2 am...I just typed it out of the blue and posted, never bothering to check it over...[the part I'm talking about is the part when Kikyo starts
quoting "High Fidelity"...]
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!
MY APPOLOGIES!!!
PLEASE FEED ME!
[Holds up sign labeled "VERMONT OR BUST!!!" blinks, looks anxiously about and flips it over so it reads: "WILL WRITE FOR FOOD!!!"]
Seriously, though:
"HEHEHE! HEY KIDS! IT'S STORYTIME!!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for being just what you are...
And no more...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inu Yasha ran as fast as he could. Just ran, as the naiad's words rang through his head:
"Do not forget, my Dreamer......................"
And the worst part was that Inuyasha knew what she didn't want him to forget. He knew. He wanted to forget it. And she had
made him remember...
So he ran...
Ran on and on through the countryside of feudal Japan. Not caring where he was going...just trying to forget.
Forget.
Forget it all...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N:FLASHBACK WITHIN A FLASHBACK...and only you and me know it so shhh! Don't tell Inu! He doesn't know!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She was beauty. Pure beauty. Calm and fluid, like a placid lake. Like an ocean. Cool and under control, nuturing and
life-giving one moment, and in the next moment, she could drown everything in a torrent of rage. A deadly torrent. This was
Kikyo, priestess of the Shikon no Tama; The Jewel Of Four Souls; The Sacred Jewel. A jewel which had the power to make any
demon, man or beast far stronger than it truly was. A jewel able to change a half demon into a whole demon...or a whole
human. The power to make Inuyasha belong...
But now that he had this angel, Kikyo, he wasn't alone. He belonged. He belonged to her, and she to him, and he didn't
want the Shikon jewel. The only thing he wanted was her. She was his breath, his life-giving water. Without her there was no
reason to Live...but she didn't know how he felt. She didn't know she meant not only the World to Inu, but Heaven and Hell too.
She didn't know anything about the intense storm of feelings she inspired within him.
And even now as she looked to the night sky Inuyasha couldn't help but love her. The stars above shed their light
playfully across her cheeks and lit up her heartwarming smile.
"Never before have I seen the stars so bright and clear"
Kikyo gasped with an amazed look like that of an astounded child while her wide eyes filled with the ethereal lights above the couple,
and it seemed as if the Heavens had been made for her, and her alone, as a tribute to the infinate glory of her being.
Inuyasha nearly froze then at the sight and his heart felt as if he had the body of a four hundred pound old man. Inuyasha had come here for a
reason, but he was so in awe by the woman before him, he could do naught but stare at her with as much wonderment as she had for the
stars in the sky. She chose that very moment to turn to him with a...
"a look that could've easily been confused for one of adoration" Inuyasha thought to himself bitterly, "if I were only an ounce more of a blindly
lovesick fool! I probably have something on my face...or maybe she's finally realized how hideous I am..." his ears drooped. Her eyes began to fill
with tears that had been held back for an indescribable amount of time, but those tears didn't drop. Yet.
"Inu-kun" she said suddenly and grabbed him by the shoulders. Her head rested upon his chest, and Inuyasha could hear
her quiet sobbing and feel her sweet tears soak through his shirt. Without thinking he rested his face in her ebony hair
and began to sing a sweet tune.
"Never knew, I could feel like this,
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss,
Everyday I love you, more and more.
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing?
Telling me to give you everything...
Seasons may change, Winter to Spring,
But I love you, until my dying day..."
And her heavenly tear stained face rose from his chest to look at him. Her eyes seemed overcome with that feeling, that expression that
Inuyasha wouldn't allow himself to mistake for adoration...or...Love. And, again, without thinking he leaned in to kiss her, and she met his lips without
any resistance. In fact, she took his lips rather hungrily, as if all she had ever wanted was this. As if she needed him as much as he needed her,
which Inu just couldn't accept. It was impossible!
"Nobody would ever love a mutt like me," he thought. "and just look what I've done! I've taken my obsession to a new
level! I forced myself upon her..." broke the dangerously sweet kiss, rose to his feet and began to walk down the hill.
"Just walk! Walk away you useless bastard! Leave her here and never, ever bother her again...she doesn't deserve that
burden! If you can't control your own actions, then who can protect her?!?! Who can save her from you...?" He kept thinking,
"Leave her forever and do her a favor...and never again stare into those orbs of darkened light...those beautiful...DAMN IT! WALK YOU WORTHLESS
MASS OF NOTHING!" and he began to walk faster as he fought against himself inside his own mind.
"Inuyasha!" she cried out before he had gotten more than ten feet away from her.
"Don't leave me!" she choked out through a flood of new tears that made Inuyasha stop and want to run around and grab her in his arms.
"Don't leave me now.Not now. Not ever." she repeated softly. "I need you. Come back to me...please."
"Kikyo...I couldn't..." Inuyasha replied turning around, but still standing his ground.
"Inuyasha...I can't be alone right now..."
"I won't leave you...I'll be at the foot of the hill...guarding you..."
"That's...not...it...I'm...I'm so afraid. For once, all the tragedy... the hardship... all that I've ever seen... All the evil I've committed...it all
has come crashing down on me. It's like I'm trapped, and disoriented. And Alone. I can't tell what's up or down, what's black or white anymore.
I feel so lost, Inuyasha...like all I've known...all I've been... just...went away. And I'm left with nothing. I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just
want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand? But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself
anymore...but then there's you...and...all I want is to be near you...with you...It's like you make all that vanish."
Inuyasha shrugged and turned away, though the words she had said made his soul rejoice.
"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."
"Do you really want to know why...?" Inuyasha asked meekly, turning to face her once more.
"Yes."
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."
"I trust you."
"That's not all there is to it though!"
"It isn't? Well, then, tell me, what else is there?"
Inuyasha rushed back up the hill, stopped three inches from Kikyo's face and knelt, refusing to make eye contact
with her. He gulped once, twice and tried to gather the words he came here to say and found that he had just about lost every single one. He
gathered all his strength and courage and innermost feelings and decided to wing it, though he cursed himself under his breath during every moment
of it all.
"Priestess. I brought you here to pledge my life to your cause. To pledge my life to you. I will give you all I can.
I cannot bear to see you unhappy and I will do whatever I must to keep you happy and safe...and I..."
"Inu...yasha..." Kikyo murmured.
"I...I want you to know I would give you all I can give, but I don't have much...I don't have much to give you. All I
have is my heart. All...I can give you is my love...But that'd be like giving you Beauty, if it were mine to give, it's futile, because you already
posess it. But, I give it to you regardless...Lady Kikyo I love you..."
And his amber eyes so injured and full of shame looked up into her own murky depths, searching for something... Understanding, Forgiveness,
he didn't know what. All he saw was her sadness.
"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."
"Inuyasha...the only thing that could possibly make me happy is you. Never leave me..."
And again, that sadness rising up from the blurry seas of teary eyes found an answering twang from the depths of
Inuyasha's chest. A place man would define, "the heart". A place lovers could not define. A place that created a feeling
a lover could never forget. This pang came from a place infinately more than the heart. It came from a place that Science and
Words could never understand or locate.
"The sadness," he stated boldly, "never do I want to see the likes of it again. Never do I want sorrow to rise up
in your heart when you see me. Never do I wish to cause you grief."
He moved again to kiss her, to kiss her for as long as he possibly could without suffocating, and it seemed that she
wanted the same. His hands moved over her dark tresses while he kissed her, feeling the soft strands and smelling the sweet
smells of the herbs that he had come to identify with Kikyo. When he finally broke the kiss, he found himself entwined in
the feather-soft limbs of the sorrowful priestess and answered her embrace with a gentle one of his own.
She then took her graceful hands and began to rub his body, as one would scratch a good dog. A VERY good dog...first
starting with his ears in an odd circular rhythm that varied with each individual finger. Inu, acting as any good dog would, was enjoying this thoroughly.
Then slowly, and subtly, her hands worked their way down, and Inuyasha, so drunk in the pleasure of it all didn't notice when Kikyo's deft fingers
removed his tunic. All he noticed was the beatiful swan-like creature before him, that is, until she began to remove his pants...
"Ki-Ki-Kikyo...what are you doing?!?!"
Inuyasha fairly stammered as his bright scarlet blood shone through a skin that appeared to be transparent. His face now the color of a stop sign or
red traffic light. Inuyasha, for all his toughness and manliness, was still...a virgin. Sad, sad truth of it was, that even though he had been an outsider
to both humans and demons, there were those of either persuasion who had always tried to...get...frisky... with him, since he wasn't at all bad looking
or particularly weak. In fact he would've been a good catch for a village girl or weak demoness, but the trick was catching him. He didn't want to
be caught. He didn't really ever see the point in it all...until now...
Noting his hesitation, Kikyo ceased her rubbing and took his hand, and just waited. She waited patiently for minutes. Many minutes.
Too many. Kikyo let out a surpressed whimper. Her eyes begged him to do it. They filled with tears again, which she pushed away sucessfully.
"Kikyo, what's wrong...?" he asked dreading her answer, but knowing he had no choice but to ask.
"Inu...you know how I'm feeling right now. I've told you, and I'm sure you've been through it yourself, several times..."
Inuyasha nodded.
"And...what I'm going to say is going to...sound...just...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm." Kikyo confronted his confusion and
hesitation head on.
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later." Inuyasha replied, trying to hide the panic raging inside him, almost stronger
than his Love for her. Almost stronger than his wish to do her will and see her happy. Almost, but not quite.
Kikyo kissed his brow once more and whispered sweetly in his ear the best words Inuyasha had heard- besides "Kikyo" and "I love you"
-
"Don't be afraid".
And it was as if with that statement his fears really were banished to some unreachable place by this strong Asian goddess. Strong and
beautiful...and removing her robes.
*************************************************************************************
Inuyasha laid barenaked on the grass next to Kikyo, who was far more beautiful naked than she was fully clothed and
adorned. Then again, she was never unadorned, since it seemed that all of nature fitted itself to suit her. The soft cool green grass a fitting carpet
for the events that had unfolded...
They had done it twice. The first time was clumsy, if anything in conjuction with such a woman woman could be, and hurried, but extremely
enjoyable nonetheless, and surprisingly unstartling. Not frightening at all... The second time had been far better, though, since Inuyasha had shed his
inexpirience and bashfulness. Also, the frenzied urgency that seemed to drive both of them the first time was virtually gone, so the second expirience
was far far slower and intimate. Far more...divine.
After it was done, Kikyo got up and began to run like a little girl naked through the forests with Inuyasha chasing
her. The night's music comforted and cradled them and the dark was like a giant warm blanket. A blanket they had made love under. They laughed
so hard and felt so much joy, neither one could think of much else besides that moment and the one who was sharing it with them. Inuyasha learned
one thing from that;
If ever an angel should appear on the Earth, ask her, without haste, to remove her clothing and run in the woods. No matter what the punishment
that follows, it will always be worth it...
When Kikyo had tired, Inuyasha gathered her up into his arms and carried her back to the starry hill that displayed a sky beginning to turn
a ruddy purple color. They cuddled up next to one another under the cover of Inuyasha's cloak, though they didn't need it. Kikyo curled up like a
small child sleeping next to her favorite dog. Inuyasha.
"Tomorrow, Inuyasha, I will bring the jewel to you, and we will be able to live like this the rest of our lives." Kikyo sighed.
"Tomorrow? Won't you be tired? And sore?" Inuyasha joked, although rather sincerely.
"Heh. I'm not tired yet. Do you want proof" She replied quickly, forcing herself out of her daze.
"Not now, Kikyo. I've had enough... I'm only half demon, you know. Tomorrow, then."
"I thought you said you could never have enough!" she giggled
"That's true...but...anymore, and I'm afraid it'll fall off! I'm sore..."
"Shhh...alright. Are you okay...?" Kikyo asked of his pain.
"Yeah, just...not used to it...the pain's worth it, angel. I can handle it. I intend to pay you back in full tomorrow!" he laughed.
"Yes, tomorrow. Inu-kun, I love you."
"I love you too, my goddess, Kikyo. Please rest, I couldn't bear it to see you tired next morn'..."
"Very well..." Kikyo sighed, moving closer into the circle of his arms, so that there was barely a centimeter of space between their two
bodies. Her heavy-lidded eyes turned to his, for once, full of happiness. Happiness that Inuyasha would see only once, besides in his very own
dreams. Neither one knew it, but the first would also be the last.
"Sing me a song, like the one you sang earlier" she said, and fell asleep almost as soon as she felt the strong deep
vibrations rise to the air from Inuyasha's throat. He began to hum another unknown tune that came from what he was sure was a
higher power than any he had ever encountered. [A/N: Of course, those mystical powers COULD have been a local FM station...certain pagan
religions have been know to worship them...(lol...)]
"Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space"
And an almost supernatural sound, another man's voice and an odd music filled the air around Inuyasha, getting louder and louder.
"We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away"
*********************************************************************
Inuyasha closed his eyes, and opened them again, to see Kikyo laying in his arms just as she was. But they were not
on the hill, and there were no stars above them. It was a white spackled ceiling, with a few water stains, and cracks in it. The two lovers lay in a
messy unmade bed with blue and yellow sheets decorated with a flower print. And the woman next to him was not Kikyo.
An FM alarm clock radio echoed out:
"Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for this sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far"
The new "Our Lady Peace" song, Inuyasha remembered but still didn't remember where he was, or how he had gotten here.
"You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails I'll wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far"
And he remembered. The girl next to him was Kagome.
"Kagome..." Inuyasha said breathlessly. Like Kikyo, but, younger. Happier. Or so she would have you think...
Upon hearing her name and being startled by the peak volume of the song, the girl woke.
"What's wrong Inu-kun? You look...startled."
Startled he was, but he managed to wipe the expression off his face, stop staring at this twin of Kikyo, turn around and walk briskly down
the hall, finding solace in the words he sang that reverberated off the beige walls of the hallway in the small and cheap apartment he now found
himself in. As he walked he tried to understand, what had happened to Kikyo. Why he was here, how
he'd found that girl. What did she mean to him? What had happened last night? Was...it as good as it was with Kikyo...? He wished the music
could be his anesthesia, but it wasn't.
His drug was a woman...or perhaps two...
He sang anyway;
"You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know....................."
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Author's Notes: THAT WAS SO FUN!!! But it was so frikken hard! I've never really even WRITTEN fluff for anything public...so...it's been...interesting...
and very enjoyable...I have yet to write erotica...and I figured I MAY scare some old reviewers away with anything hardcore, so I kept it PRETTY
tame...e-mail me requesting erotica, and I'll try it!
anyways: It's been soooo long since I've been with ANYONE, least of all a guy, so I had a BIT of trouble finding inspiration for this fluff...! This
resulted in this taking over a week to write, and me begging anyone I knew to revise it... I think it came out decently though...
****I refuse to write ANYMORE until I get 10 POSITIVE reviews on this chapter*****
Once I get 10 positive reviews, I will post the 3rd Chapter...to be titled " I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" [or maybe not...the story has
changed A LOT since I first planned it out, but I will DEFINATELY USE THE SONG SOMETIME IN THE NEAR FUTURE!!!]
PLEASE! If you have comments or ideas for where my story should go send them in an e-mail to me, or in your review... I only have a few
specific points and places this story needs to go...how we get to these places is your choice!
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Copyright stuff:::
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'"Inuyasha...why can't we be together..."
"Do you really want to know why...?"
"Yes"
"It's because I don't trust myself with you."'
This was pretty much taken directly from the script of the movie "Cruel Intentions". Expect to see me use more quotes from
that movie later on. IT KICKS MAJOR ASS!!! THAT'S WHY!!!
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'"This is wrong...I shouldn't...do this, but, Ki, I'm too tired not to be with you...I'm too weak to hide it any longer..."'
&
'"...listen, Inuyasha, would you have sex with me? Because I want to feel something else.
Something other than this emptiness. I want to be filled by something...someone...you...It's either that, or I
go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want to stub torches out on my arm."
"No. I only have a few left, I've been saving them for later."'
Both of these quotes are loosely based on ones from the movie "High Fidelity". Good movie. I loved these quotes so much! I JUST HAD TO USE
THEM! Originally, I used the real quotes, almost word for word, but they seemed a bit out of place [hey, the movie's about a man who owns a
record store and his girlfriend! GIVE ME A BREAK! It was HARD AS HELL to make em fit AT ALL!]
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When Kikyo says:
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin! I just want to be happy again! I don't want to feel deep in my own world! Do you understand?
But...I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore..."
I was using a Dido song I'm sure NONE OF YOU HAVE EVER HEARD OF! It's called "Honestly OK" It goes like this...:
"I just want to feel safe in my own skin, I just want to be happy again,
I just want to feel safe in my own world,
but I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
On a different day, if I was safe in my own skin, then I wouldn't feel lost and so frightened
But this is today and I'm lost in my own skin,
And I'm so lonely I don't even want to be with myself anymore
I just want to feel safe in my skin, I just want to feel happy again."
Yes, I know. You all hate Dido. I LOVE Dido! And this song just fit so...too bad!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The first song Inu sings is from Moulin Rouge and is called "Come What May"...Can't find the lyrics, or song info...that info
will, however be forthcoming. Maybe. If you close your eyes and think happy thoughts...
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The second song is called "Somewhere Out There" [if memory serves me correctly] and is, as mentioned, sung by Our Lady Peace
[good band, sucky name]
Lyrics are as follows:
"Last time I talked to you
You were lonely and out of place
You were looking down on me
Lost out in space
We laid underneath the stars
Strung out and feeling brave
I watched the red orange glow
I watched you float away
Down here in the atmosphere
Garbage and city lights
You've gone to save your tired soul
You've gone to save our lives
I turned on the radio
To find you on satellite
I'm waiting for this sky to fall
I'm waiting for a sign
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
Hope you remember me
When you're home sick
and need a change
I miss your purple hair
I miss the way you taste
I know you'll come back someday
On a bed of nails I'll wait
I'm praying that you don't burn out
Or fade away
All we are
Is all so far
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
You're a star that I can see
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling out of reach
Defying gravity
I know you're out there
Somewhere out there
You're falling back to me
I know
I know
You're falling out of reach
I know"
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