Yami Shizuka: Sorry folks, only three chapters to this fic. Grab your tissues!

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Aya sighed, he'd been up most of the night chasing Ken with his katana. He almost smirked at the memory of Ken begging for mercy in the hallway, but something was bothering him. 'The power was probably out at the hospital, what if...'

"Hey Aya, aren't you going to go visit your sister? It's your break," Omi said.

Aya nodded at him and walked out of the store, tossing his apron on the chair on his way out.

'I need to see her, I need to know that she's still okay.'

He was now sprinting toward the hospital, only pausing to open the door then sprinting the rest of the way to Aya-chan's room. His hand was on the doorknob when he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder, he whirled around to see Aya-chan's doctor.

"Oh, hello Ran," he said.

Aya nodded his hello. "What are you doing here, her weekly check up isn't for two more days," he said, still haunted by the thoughts of earlier today.

"Well uh...Ran..." The doctor looked down.

"What are you trying to tell me?" Aya demanded.

"Ran, I'm sorry. Last night...the power went out and...we had to rush to get all of the intense care patients on the emergency life support..." The doctor didn't finish.

"Yes, our power was out too," Aya said, hoping against hope that the doctor wasn't trying to confirm his fears. The doctor looked up at Aya with a guilty expression.

"Ran, we didn't get to Aya in time. It was too late, I'm sorry," he said and Aya could literally feel his world come crashing down. "I-if there's anything I can do to help...anything at all, I..."

"No thanks," Aya said and walked out of the hospital and back into the flower shop, all in silence.

"So how'd the visit go Aya?" Omi asked. Aya just stared blankly at him.

"Aya?" Youji asked as he put his hand on Aya's shoulder.

Aya flinched at the contact, making Youji jerk his hand back.

"What's the matter?" Youji asked.

Aya just walked up the stairs and into his room, locking the door behind him. He sat on the bed, staring into the space. The shock still hadn't worn off since the visit at the hospital.

'It can't be...she can't be dead...' Aya took his head in his hands.

The pain in his heart was overwhelming once the doctor's words finally set in; Aya closed his eyes tight and tried to hold back the tears.

'It's all my fault, she would've never had to be in this predicament and this would've never happened.' Tears found their way around his eyelids and streamed down his face, his shoulders shook uncontrollably as he held back the sobs.

"Aya-kun?" Omi asked as he knocked on the door.

The name seemed to amplify, sobs now wracked his body and he curled up on the bed.

"Hey, you okay?" Now Youji was there too.

Aya managed to regain control over his voice.

"I'm fine, just tired," he said quietly.

"Oh, okay," Omi said and footsteps sounded farther and farther away, soon they were downstairs.

Aya then completely broke down, sobbing into his bed so that no one would hear. Tears streamed down his face as grief overtook him.

'Why did she have to die? I promised to take care of her and revenge her.' Aya gripped the bed sheets, he couldn't take it anymore and grabbed his katana.

Aya unsheathed it and aimed it at his heart when he stopped himself.

"I don't deserve...a quick death..." he whispered, his voice was quiet and scratchy.

Aya pressed the blade into his wrist, making a cut along the curve. Pain faintly registered in his mind as he made more cuts on his arm, the blood falling onto his bed. Soon Aya was too dizzy to do more and sheathed his katana then collapsed onto his bed.

Dream

"Ran..." He looked up to see Aya-chan staring at him with a smile pasted on her face.

"Aya?" She giggled.

"Of course I am silly! It's time to go home, the carnival is closing and mom and dad will be mad if we stay out too late!" She took his hand and they headed home, only to find the dead corpses of their parents in the gas filled house.

Aya-chan was sobbing and didn't notice the car speeding toward her. He saw her fly in the air and hit the ground. That was when he swore revenge against Takatori.

End Dream

Aya woke up to a sore arm and a slight headache, he also noticed the coppery smell of blood. That was when he remembered last night and the pain wrenched his heart once again.

"Aya! Wake up already." Ken's voice penetrated the silence and Aya winced at the name. "Aya?"

Aya curled into a tight ball and squeezed his eyes shut, willing Ken to go away.

"Look Aya, if you're still mad at me about the other night then just say it already. I said I was sorry." Ken almost missed the whisper that came through the door.

"It wasn't you..." Aya's voice was barely up to talking level and he immediately regretted saying anything.

"What do you mean it wasn't me? You sick or something?" Ken asked.

Aya curled tighter. 'I can't face anyone, not yet.'

"Aya-kun?" Omi's gentle voice carried to Aya's ears.

Tears threatened to come again and Aya forced them back.

"I'm coming in," Omi said and managed to pick the lock. He opened the door and saw the curled form of Aya on the bed.

"I told you he was sick," Ken said as they ran to his side.

"Aya what's wrong?" Omi asked but Aya only shook his head. Omi was surprised to find that the red-haired assassin's shoulders shaking.

'I can't let them know something's wrong,' Aya thought to himself.

"Do you want me to call a doctor?" Ken asked and Aya shook his head again. "Okay, Youji can take your shift." They walked out and closed the door behind them.

'They wouldn't understand...they would never understand...' Aya thought as he let the tears flow freely. He sobbed into his chest until no more tears would come. By that time it was around 4:00 a.m. Aya sat up stiffly and took out his katana, slicing up both his wrists and then traveling up his arm.

The cutting went on like this for days and soon his arm was covered with scars, marring his pale flesh.

"I'm worried about Aya," Omi said. The three were sitting in the briefing room on the couches. "He hasn't come out for days."

"Late at night I can hear sobbing too, it's muffled but I'm sure it's sobbing," Ken said as he scratched his head.

"And he usually is the most strictest person about the flower shop," Youji mused, taking a long drag on his cigarette.

"So what are we going to do about..." Omi was cut off by Ken.

"Aya! What are you doing down here?"

Brief pain flickered through Aya's eyes before he replied, "going out." He then walked out the door and into the night.

"Follow him," Youji said to Ken who nodded and was off after Aya.

Aya knew Ken was following him but he didn't care and headed toward the forest, he loved going to the hidden clearing to
relax. He arrived at what looked like a solid wall of pine trees and started shifting the branches, finally he found the hidden opening and slipped it. The branches fell back into place, looking as if no one had ever passed.

'It looks beautiful in the moonlight,' Aya thought as he sat down, staring at the pine trees that made a light ceiling above him.

Aya took out his sword and slit his wrists again, following the deep scars on his arm. But he didn't stop there, he kept cutting and slashed up his arms. Soon his katana was dripping with his blood as were his arms, dark edged his vision and he heard a shout.

"Aya!" Pain wrenched at his heart at the name and he could see a blurry Ken run toward him. Aya collapsed into Ken's arms, too weak to support his weight. "Aya, why are you doing this?" Ken asked as he gently laid Aya out on the ground.

"Aya-chan..." Aya said and Ken saw pain fill the crimson-haired assassin's eyes.

"What? What happened to Aya-chan?" Ken asked, but Aya looked away, tears filling his eyes.

"The power outage..." He closed his eyes, tears spilling down his cheeks as he whispered the words.

"What happened?" Ken's voice was gentle.

"Aya-chan is dead," Aya said and broke down again and curled into a tight ball, wrapping his bloody arms around him.

"Aya," Ken said as he pulled Aya closer. "I'm so sorry."

"It's my fault, she wouldn't have died if I had just knocked her out of the way," Aya said as he sobbed into his chest as he did
many nights. "I should have been the one who was hit by that car not her."

"Aya, it's not your fault. You couldn't help it, don't blame yourself," Ken said brought Aya into an embrace, letting the man sob into his shoulder.

"It is, it's all my fault. That's why I wanted to kill myself," Aya said as Ken hugged him. "Because she was the only one who really loved me."

"Aya," Ken said and Aya looked up at him. "I love you."

Aya was flustered, was he delusional?

"I know you're probably not like that, but I just wanted to let you know that I care," Ken said. He sighed and waited for some threat or rejection.

"I...love...you too..."

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Yami Shizuka: Hope this sounds better! Read and review!