AND SO! Our hero traveled onward! On his mighty steed…

(We see Link hobbling along, moving his legs in a position that resembled the position one would be in…if

he were on a horse. Epona was closely following, making the appropriate trotting noises when he walked/rode, and stopping when he stopped. And eventually she just stopped following him altogether. Yes children, Link is not a very bright boy.)

…he's off to fight evil and what not!

"Haha! I'm off to fight evil and what not!" Link shouted proudly as he 'rode' into the nearest village for a restroom break. All the inhabitants of the area turned around to watch the overly-prideful yet still stupid boy ride in.

"HEY! It's a GUY!" one yelled

"Stupid Hylian offspring!" another shouted at him. Link had just walked into the Gerudo Fortress. The guards stood up, "Let's capture him!" One yelled, and the others roared with approval.

"Then what?" a lady with two pigtails asked.

"Strip him!!" Another lady yelled from a distance away, but thankfully went unheard.

"Then…um…we'll capture him!"

"Stip him and shave his legs!!" Again, unheard.

"Yes yes, but THEN what?" the pigtailed lady asked.

"Um….I dunno. Let's just capture him!"

"Oh, very well." She droned, then the entire group charged after him. Link, who had been so kind enough to stand there waiting patiently for his fate the whole time, shrieked turned around, and started to run . Only to be cut off by more guards. Of course, Link acted bravely, like the hero he was, and refused his being captured with a strong statement.

"EEEEEE!!!!!" Came a shrill scream from Link's throat, and he dove into the dirt and covered up his head, "Not my sock-like freakish hat! ANYTHING but the hat!! PLEAASSEE!"

Just as Link was about to be run through by at least 50 oversized spears…a loud gong rung out into the air. All of the women instantly stopped, and pulled out their - stolen, I might add - watches. "Oh, would you look at that," one said, "it's time for lunch already!" The group dropped their weapons and instantly started to scatter.

"Huh?" Link looked up from under his arms in surprise, "You're not going to attack me?" he asked, although he shouldn't have been complaining, "I'm a intruder! You're not going to pummel me through with those spears and spew my insides all over the sand?"

"No!" One spat at him, "Duh! It's our lunch break! If we went after YOU, then we'd be doing WORK. That doesn't sound cool!" The others agreed and walked off.

Link rose an eyebrow, "Wouldn't you get paid overtime?"

"We don't get paid at all, kid."

"…Oooh. Okay then!!" Link shrugged and walked/rode into the village. He marched right in, to see everyone snacking on their lunches. Provided by Taco King, of course! While I'm at it, I might as well mention that the funding for this freakishly mutated fan fiction was graciously provided by Taco King. Suddenly, Link gasped with fear, and looked up….really up…at his greatest opponent's fast-food stuffed face!

" Ganondorf!!" Link exclaimed, "What…what are you doing here?"

"…Eating lunch?" Ganondorf replied, sipping a soda, "What's it look like I'm doing!?"

"But-but…How did get ever get out of the Dark Realm?" Link stuttered.

Ganondorf paused for a moment, then put his hand on his chin, thoughtfully. "Um……'cause I felt like it."

"What?! That's all?" Link asked.

"Yeah.. Wait! …Yeah, yeah that's all." Ganondorf replied, "...Wanna enchilada?"

"I bet you poisoned it!" Link said defensively.

"Hmm…nah. Those weird people who make the food already poisoned it enough, I'd bet."

"Good point." Link admitted, and then gladly took the enchilada, and started munching on it, "Hey….Hey this is pretty good!" he exclaimed, "Can I have another one?"

Ganondorf made an annoyed face, and crossed his arms. "….well…I guess I won't miss it…."