Now taking a break from the serious, my true and only adversary, and have returned to bizarre. A terrible secret that only most fans of Vincent would know. The differences in the secret are just how the math adds up. *Fake Warning* Yaoi ahead.

Vincent awoke to Yuffie's face directly in his. Vincent panicked, but calmed down as the feeling of deja vu passed. Slipping out from Yuffie's arms, Vincent looked around and finally decided on a green bathrobe. Now somewhat dressed, Vincent returned to Yuffie, picked her up and put her onto the bed. For once, Vincent didn't wake up with memory loss, pain, or the general angst. Vincent roughly figured that this would end as soon as Yuffie woke up, but it was best to let the moment go on. Vincent busied himself with calling room service for breakfast and picking up odd bits of clothing that had been scattered the night before. Presently there was a knock at the door and Vincent opened it.

"Room service. I have your deluxe breakfast for you. I hope you had a good night's sleep."

"Uh, I couldn't sleep."

"Well, did you have a good night then? The lady seems to have."

"I'll thank you for not intruding on my private life. And don't expect a tip."

"I don't. I don't even work here. Well, here's your breakfast and a journal from Dio. Enjoy!"

Vincent felt disturbed. In spite of all that was happening with Yuffie, this was a relatively simple mission. But it felt like there was something else going on. That man, was the same one who delivered the message from Dio, but didn't work for Dio. Something was going on. Suddenly, there was another knock on the door. Vincent opened it again and there was the strange man again.

"Sorry to bother you again. But I forgot to tip you a few years ago and now I have some change. So here you go."

Vincent just stared in amazement as the stranger put a large tip into his hand and walked off without a further word. Vincent sat down and read a bit of the journal to take his mind off the man. It was about this time that Yuffie woke up.

"This must be a dream."

"What's a dream Vince?" Yuffie said, stretching lazily.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Maybe it is a dream. If that's the case, then whose dream is it? Probably yours by the decor. So, is this the part where naughty things happen to me?"

"I don't have those kinds of dreams."

"Well I do. Jealous?"

Vincent laughed quietly.

"Not really. So, how about breakfast? Just got here."

"Good thing too. Nothing worse then cold hot cakes."

"Yeah."

"Vincent? Is something wrong?"

"Nothing much. The second part of Cloud's journal just came with breakfast, that's all."

"'That's all?' Well maybe we'll get some answers to all this. Then we can find him and beat him unconscious."

"I always thought you got along well with Cloud. Or were you just trying to steal materia?"

"I was trying to steal materia. But I liked Cloud, as a friend mind you. Take that hurt look off your face. He was like a big brother. Wait, you're jealous!"

"I am not."

"I see. You can't stand there being a 'significant other' in your significant other's life."

"I could deal with Hojo, I can deal Cloud."

"I know, it's just, about last night. Was it? I mean, did it mean anything to you? Or was it just spur of the moment?"

"I don't know how to answer that."

"If that's your response then I don't know if you just ruined my life."

"Don't say that. If I have to, I'll marry you."

"You know? That ruins the whole point of falling in love if I force you to marry me. Your supposed to kneel and pledge your undying devotion to me."

"You want me to?"

"No, I'm having breakfast."

"Of all the guys you had to fall for."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"I heard you. What other choices did I have? You don't really meet nice men when you rob people. Most of the guys back at Wutai were on my father's side, so I hate them. And Midgar is a terrible place to meet people."

"So what? 'I tried the rest of the world, now let's try Vincent. The last chicken in the shop.' Forgive me if I feel less then ecstatic at that conclusion."

"Don't take it that way. Like an old proverb says 'In this world, there is one perfect match for you.' Maybe your mine."

"Now I feel like a dinette set. So why am I your 'perfect match?'"

"Let's see, your my type."

"And what's that?"

"Tall, dark and handsome."

"How cliche."

"Your older than me."

"So was Cid and Barret."

"So? You were cute and a great listener. Even though you did give me the creeps."

"So you liked me because I was older."

"Yeah, but not in like decades or something."

"Yuffie, do you know how old I am?"

"Around mid-thirties, right?"

"No. I'm 67."

It was an unfortunate shock to Yuffie. Especially since she had just taken a drink from her orange juice. Vincent wasn't happy since she sprayed it all into his face.

"WHAT?"

"I said I'm 67."

"I heard you the first time. Why didn't you tell me? I can't believe I slept with a fossil."

"I am not old. I was asleep for the better part of thirty years. In a state of suspended animation. I didn't age. Just because I can apply for senior citizenship doesn't mean I will."

"What'll I tell my dad? I can see it now. 'Hi dad, I just fell for a 67 year old man, how are you?' He'll freak! Not to say that won't be fun to watch."

"Are you saying that the feelings I have for you are for nothing? That my heart is just a plaything to you? Are you so shallow that you'll let a number destroy a relationship?"

"Of course I wouldn't. I was just teasing you. Your still the same depressing jerk you were last night. Only now, your my depressing jerk. Live with it."

"You know, for all that you've put me through, I am going to have to marry you."

"That's punishment enough."

"Think about how I feel."

"This is getting weird, Vincent teasing me. Let's just open that journal up and see what's inside."

"Sure, why not? Hey Yuffie?"

"What?"

"Sit in my lap?"

"Sure."

I was joking about the Yaoi in case any of you know what that means. Let me know what you think. Personally I think I kill any and all romance with all my absurd joking. Use that as a strating point. Read and review.