Allow me to explain my delay. I have moved recently and didn't have access to a computer for two months and a half. This chapter has been ready for ages and only now I had the opportunity to post it. Well, continuing the fic, that's the part of the story where everyone starts acting out of character.

Disclaimer: None of this is mine.

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         A Waste of Time [Four: Defy]

         It was still dark. Hisoka opened his eyes and yawned. He was tired but he couldn't sleep any longer. He looked at the digital clock on the night-table and saw that it was four fifteen in the morning. He knew that worrying over things was preventing him from getting his rest, and he didn't like thinking so much but it seemed impossible to stop. He wished he could, but his mind wasn't really obeying him. He had promised that 'he'd tell Tsuzuki tomorrow'. Well, it was already 'tomorrow', the first hours of 'tomorrow'. It was today. So he didn't think twice before walking to Tsuzuki's bed and shaking him awake.

         Tsuzuki groaned and buried his face on the pillow, trying to ignore the hand on his shoulder that was trying to force him out of the pleasant dream in which he was sitting before the hearth with a mug of hot chocolate in his hands and it wasn't cold or snowing, only warm and peaceful. But Hisoka wouldn't let him sleep. Tsuzuki knew that his partner was having issues with staying at Hijiri's house, and that the problem wasn't the house itself as Hisoka claimed.

         "Tsuzuki!"

         Tsuzuki gave up completely on trying to go back to the dream.

         "I'm awake! I'm awake." He sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes, looking absentmindedly at the clock. "Hisoka, it's four in the morning," he stated, looking at his partner in concern, knowing that Hisoka wouldn't call him at such time just for the sake of seeing him awake. "Are you okay?"

         "Aa. I'm fine."

         Or, thinking it over, maybe Hisoka would actually call him at that hour just to wake him.

         "I don't think so. What happened, then?"

         Hisoka lowered his head pensively, and for a moment Tsuzuki thought that the boy was trying to read him, so he immediately raised his shields. Apparently, Hisoka got the hint.

         "I can't sleep," Hisoka began slowly. "I…well, it's because something that Hijiri said yesterday is…is bothering me."

         "What did he say?"

         Hisoka clasped his hands together tightly, feeling very nervous . "I feel that you know since it concerns you, but I don't think that Hijiri would want me to tell."

         Tsuzuki sighed and fell back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. "Why don't you ask him whether you can tell me or not?"

         Hisoka stayed quiet for a while before answering. "Because he'll say that I can't."

         "Then why are you dwelling on that? Just forget about it. If it was about me, I don't care. You don't have to—"

         "That's exactly the problem, Tsuzuki, you would care!"

         Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "...what?"

         "...fine. Just forget about it, I'll try to do the same. For now. But I still want to go home. Maybe I can tell you there."

         Tsuzuki chuckled, running a hand through his hair. "You must have said 'I want to go home' about one hundred times since we got here. Tell me what's troubling you, Hisoka. I hate to see you like that," he added with a soft smile.

         Hisoka immediately blushed and mumbled, "Nothing. It's nothing."

         "Hisoka, it isn't nothing." Tsuzuki sat up again and grabbed his partner's shoulders, making the boy face him. "I know you well enough to know that you are not uneasy for nothing. Was it something I did?"

         "Baka," Hisoka whispered, half-heartedly. "You always find a way to blame yourself. No, it wasn't something you did. It's not your fault. I'm just…a bit paranoid, that's all."

         Tsuzuki frowned. He wasn't used to have Hisoka acting so out of character and he wasn't quite certain of what to do when Hisoka wasn't acting like the usually cold and silent teenager who was never willing to admit a mistake or flaw. Tsuzuki had seen him lose a bit of the attitude time and again, but 'paranoid' Hisoka was something he didn't know how to deal with. So he simply tried to do what he did when Hisoka was angry, hoping that the results were as positive as they were when the boy was actually angry—perhaps a bit of cuddling would be the cure to all evils.

         Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around his partner and lay back down on the bed, pulling the reluctant Hisoka with him. "If worrying would solve your problems, I would help you to worry. We can sit down together tomorrow, Hijiri, you and me, and try to talk. But first you have to rest."

         Hisoka sighed deeply when Tsuzuki pulled the blankets over the both of them and went back to sleep holding on to him as if he was a giant teddy bear.

         Fool. Fool, fool, fool. You lost your courage again. Hisoka closed his eyes, angrily, but he still couldn't sleep.

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         Hijiri leaned against the doorframe, watching the two sleeping shinigami with a heavy feeling in his chest. He wondered if that was a common occurrence. Did Hisoka and Tsuzuki sleep like that back in their home? Hijiri couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

         He walked to the kitchen and boiled some water to make coffee. Tsuzuki was very nice to Hisoka. Then again, Tsuzuki was nice to mostly everyone. Hisoka had told Hijiri that they were just friends, so there was no point in worrying, right? But Hijiri had never considered that Hisoka could have lied not to hurt him. He knew that the young shinigami wasn't pleased to stay at his place. Hijiri had seen the face he had made when Tsuzuki had agreed to stay on for another night because of the snow. And Hisoka had become strangely uneasy when Hijiri told him about his feelings for Tsuzuki. Should it make sen—

         Of course! Hijiri slapped his own forehead, cursing his own stupidity. Hisoka liked Tsuzuki! It had been so obvious that he hadn't noticed or even cared. But if Hisoka liked Tsuzuki, why hadn't he made a move yet? They lived together, they had been partners for such a long time and still...why would Hisoka wait for so long?

         It was then that Hijiri noticed that he didn't know a thing about Hisoka. They hadn't really stopped to talk and learn things about each other like Hijiri and Tsuzuki had. He didn't know a thing about Hisoka's past or personality, except for the fact that something really bad had made the boy create a shell around himself. All he knew about Hisoka either he had assumed or Tsuzuki had told him. It wasn't much.

         And what were they supposed to do now? Back Tsuzuki up against the wall and force him to choose, assuming of course that the shinigami actually wanted one of them? That didn't seem right. Why must everything be so complicated?, Hijiri asked himself, pacing back and forth in the small kitchen. He didn't know what do and what to say, how to act. Maybe it would be better if he just stopped liking Tsuzuki and letting Hisoka have him, but it wasn't so easy. Why couldn't things be a little, just a little simpler?

         Hijiri sat on a chair, with his head in his hands, feeling both confused and unhappy. Life is unfair.

         He should have learned that sooner.

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         Hisoka felt warm, inside and outside, when he woke up. It took him a moment to adjust his eyes to the darkness in the room. He looked at the clock and saw that it read eight-thirty a.m. Deciding that he had stayed in bed for long enough, he pushed the covers aside and tried to get up only to find he couldn't. There was an arm wrapped around his waist, preventing him from moving. Hisoka looked behind him to find Tsuzuki still sleeping, smiling contentedly in dreamland, and Hisoka instinctively blushed.

         Trying not to wake up the other shinigami, Hisoka disentangled himself from Tsuzuki's arms. He was feeling rather comfortable in the embrace, truth to be told, but he had noticed that the door was open and it would be embarrassing if Hijiri decided to show up and see them lying together like that in bed. Once free, Hisoka stood up, stretched and yawned, grimacing as his back cracked slightly. He still felt tired, knowing that he hadn't slept enough but nothing would get him back into bed, Tsuzuki or not. He'd have plenty of time to sleep at home and he still hadn't given up on going home although Tsuzuki apparently had.

         Hisoka walked to the kitchen quietly, thinking. He had to talk to Hijiri. He was tired of playing the fool, of letting the violinist throw himself at Tsuzuki without objecting. Hisoka felt like he'd blow up at any time soon if he didn't let it all out. Odd, he thought, for he was usually under control and yet one simple thing had managed to crack his control just like that.

         Hijiri was sitting in the kitchen with his head bowed, but he raised it when Hisoka walked into the kitchen. "Good morning," Hijiri said, standing up to get the boiled water to make the coffee, only to find that all the water had evaporated. He sighed and filled the kettle again. "How's your head?"

         "My head?" Hisoka asked, raising an eyebrow.

         "You had a headache last night, are you feeling better?"

         "Ah. Yes, it was nothing." The shinigami sat on a chair and leaned his head on his arms, while Hijiri watched him suspiciously.

         "Are you sure? You don't look very well."

         "I didn't get a lot of sleep, that's all. I'm all right."

         Hijiri was tense and the tension filtered through Hisoka's shields, which were weak this morning, due to his exhaustion. Neither spoke for what seemed like hours, the violinist busy with his coffee and the shinigami trying to read him to discover what bothered him so much. Hisoka felt rather uncomfortable, for the silence between them was disturbing, but it didn't take much longer before Hijiri broke the silence.

         "Do you and Tsuzuki sleep together at home?" he asked, almost shyly.

         Hisoka cursed under his breath. So Hijiri had seen them. Great. "No." Hisoka said, trying to find a decent excuse to justify the fact that they had done that that night. "I had a nightmare and he—"

         "Hisoka, do you like him?"

         Hisoka's eyes widened and he lowered his head to conceal the blush that rose to his cheeks. He tried to find something intelligent to say but somehow he couldn't think of anything to say. Why did Hijiri have to be so blunt? Hisoka attempted to look as if he didn't know what Hijiri was talking about. "What do you mean?"

         "You said that Tsuzuki and you were just friends..."

         "We are just friends," Hisoka stated, hastily.

         "Is that all you want?"

         Hisoka looked up at Hijiri curiously. "Excuse me?"

         "Is that all you want from him? Friendship?"

         The shinigami leaned back on the chair, lowering his shields ever so slightly, trying to see what Hijiri wanted. But all he felt was anxiety and expectation, and he came to the conclusion that Hijiri simply didn't know what he wanted. "What's your point?"

         "I just want to know if you want to be more than friends with Tsuzuki," Hijiri explained, turning around to face the other boy, looking more serious than Hisoka had ever seen him before. "And if you do, why did you tell me that he could love me when you didn't want him to?"

         "I never said that I don't want him to love you."

         "You never said you did either." Hijiri said, folding his arms in front of his chest. "Do you?"

         Hisoka opened his mouth but nothing came forth. He wasn't sure whether he wanted it or not, and how was he supposed to answer that question without telling the truth about how he felt about Tsuzuki? Part of him wanted Tsuzuki to be happy no matter what, but another part of him, the selfish one, wanted Tsuzuki to be happy, yes, but with Hisoka. Rather tired of being nice when it was so out of character, Hisoka let the selfish part answer, barely above a whisper.

         "No."

         Hijiri seemed surprise, probably expecting the other boy to say something else, but he quickly regained his composure. "...you know, I didn't know a thing about that untill this morning when I saw you and Tsuzuki sleeping together. But you live with him, Hisoka! Why did you do that in my house?"

         "I didn't do anything!" Hisoka said, blushing. "But things would have been certainly better if you weren't all over Tsuzuki like you are."

         "Me? I'm not doing that!"

         "I am not blind! I see what you do and that's...stupid!" Hisoka took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "You shouldn't be so forward."

         "I didn't sleep with him," Hijiri said, trying to look nonchalant but watching Hisoka's reaction.

         The shinigami stood up, angrily, and walked to the violinist.

         "Quit being foolish!" he cried. "We are beginning to sound like five-year-olds fighting over a toy! What do you want, a confession? Fine, I like him! Was that all you wanted to hear?! Now leave me alone!" Hisoka stopped, breathed in deeply and placed his hand against his forehead, thinking. "Listen...we're going home today so we won't bother y..." he stopped, noticing that Hijiri wasn't looking at him, but over his shoulder. "What?"

         Hisoka turned around and gasped.

         Tsuzuki was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking extremely astonished, not to say shocked, after having probably heard all of the argument.

         And, for a long moment, there was silence.

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