Searching for the Soul
I looked at myself two weeks later in the mirror. My eyes were blood shot from little sleep and my hair was a mess from the constant onslaught of nightmares. I took the El to work. My whole shift was a blur. Everyone was concerned about me; there was nothing they could do to pull me out of my depression. Some one even called my brother and he came over. I wonder whose brilliant idea that was?
Yet through all that, no one bothered to ask why I was in such a state of depression. They just assumed things. It's a miracle I never touched any alcohol. I promised John I wouldn't and I won't. That night I collapsed into bed, completely drained of all energy. For the first time in what felt like ages, I fell into an exhausted dreamless sleep. However when I woke up, I found myself lying next to someone. It couldn't be…
"John? John, wake up." I shook him a bit.
"What? I'm up, I'm up." In his sleepy state he banged the alarm clock, knocking it off the dresser while getting out of bed. He turned on the shower and walked in fully clothed in what used to be a business suit. I knocked on the door of the shower, starling John. He poked his head out.
"Nice out fit." He looked down and started to laugh.
"That's what I get for coming in so late. So sleep deprived I take a shower with my clothes on. It's all you're fault Abs." He pulled me in with him and kissed me.
"I thought we ended our relationship. " I just asked the question for the sake of asking it. I was so happy that he was here in the flesh, alive. I swear I could have levitated.
"So did I. But now that I'm here with you, I don't think I could live any other way." He kissed me again and we just stood there in the shower, sopping wet but so wrapped up in each other we couldn't have moved if we wanted to. Brown eyes stared into brown eyes and I realized how much we had both changed. He had seen the horrors of war and the little rich boy had come home a man accustomed to pain. He had had lost so many people, but now he saw how truly lucky he was in spite of all he had been through. And I, the most selfish woman on the planet, had learned how to love and to give until all you have left is what will never go away.
