Kikyo Living
By: Margaret Granado
Author's Notes: This is another joke between my friend Whitney and I so I hope you enjoy! BTW, it's not 4:47AM and I'm still going... there must've been something in that candy cane...
~*~*~
"Okay, so how many times have we killed her altogether?" Sango asked.
"I dunno... why?" Kagome questioned.
"I just wanted to know," Sango replied.
"Uh, well, let's see... first, it was Kikyo, then the clay pot, the necklace charm, the wind, the cigarette, the fish, the meal, Hojo, the poodle, the water worm, that deformed bunny, the Goshinboku, Kikyo again, the comic book, the smoke cloud, the CD player, nail polish, the pot hole goddess, a TV, ice cream, and a chicken. So, that's 21 times we've killed her..." Miroku calculated.
"What do you think she'll come back as this time?" Shippo wondered.
"With Kikyo... there's no telling," Kagome sighed.
"WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"But we're about to find out," Inuyasha mumbled.
A woman with blonde hair, a jean button up long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and butt-ugly brown pants appeared in front of them.
"I am not almighty anymore... but you SHOULD fear me... for I am now... MARTHA STEWART!!!!"
Kagome fell onto the ground laughing, being the only one who knew who Martha Stewart was.
"WHAT THE F*** IS SO F***ING FUNNY YOU B****! GET A F***ING LIFE YOU DUMB A**!!!!"
"POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOU-"
"Will you shut that kid up??"
(A/N: 5:05... I'm getting tired so this is gonna be a short chapter)
"Why are you Martha Stewart?" Kagome asked.
"Because I want to be! And I'm CREATIVE!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Then, in that creepy, Martha Stewart voice (she scares me...) she said, "Now, today, we'll be learning how to get revenge on the people who have killed you numerous times and you need, ne, MUST kill them right away. It's simple. All you need is a good hunting knife... no, in fact, all you need is a simple knife from your kitchen. Then, you find your prey. Come - I'll demonstrate."
Kikyo crept up to Inuyasha as if he couldn't see her... he just raised an eyebrow.
"Now then, you sneak up on them unsuspectingly and then... POUNCE!!!"
Inuyasha took one step out of the way and Kikyo flew into the wall.
"Now, they MAY move out of the way... but keep going. Don't give up! They'll eventually get tired!"
WHACK!
SMACK!
POKE!
ZTT!
POUND!
"And they may have friends... so I wouldn't suggest doing this at home... think you for joining me on Martha Stewart Living..."
*faint*
STOMP!!!!
*die*
"Yay!!!!! I got to stomp someone!!!!! Fun, fun!!!!!!" Shippo cheered and did the cabbage patch.
~*~*~
So, R+R Please! It's 5:13 so I think I'm gonna go to bed. Oh, may I suggest watching Rurouni Kenshin? It's SUCH a good anime! But, it's REALLY sad, so watch it only if you're willing to cry over an anime! ... I did. Okay, bye!
By: Margaret Granado
Author's Notes: This is another joke between my friend Whitney and I so I hope you enjoy! BTW, it's not 4:47AM and I'm still going... there must've been something in that candy cane...
~*~*~
"Okay, so how many times have we killed her altogether?" Sango asked.
"I dunno... why?" Kagome questioned.
"I just wanted to know," Sango replied.
"Uh, well, let's see... first, it was Kikyo, then the clay pot, the necklace charm, the wind, the cigarette, the fish, the meal, Hojo, the poodle, the water worm, that deformed bunny, the Goshinboku, Kikyo again, the comic book, the smoke cloud, the CD player, nail polish, the pot hole goddess, a TV, ice cream, and a chicken. So, that's 21 times we've killed her..." Miroku calculated.
"What do you think she'll come back as this time?" Shippo wondered.
"With Kikyo... there's no telling," Kagome sighed.
"WHOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
"But we're about to find out," Inuyasha mumbled.
A woman with blonde hair, a jean button up long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and butt-ugly brown pants appeared in front of them.
"I am not almighty anymore... but you SHOULD fear me... for I am now... MARTHA STEWART!!!!"
Kagome fell onto the ground laughing, being the only one who knew who Martha Stewart was.
"WHAT THE F*** IS SO F***ING FUNNY YOU B****! GET A F***ING LIFE YOU DUMB A**!!!!"
"POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOUTH!!!!!! POTTY MOU-"
"Will you shut that kid up??"
(A/N: 5:05... I'm getting tired so this is gonna be a short chapter)
"Why are you Martha Stewart?" Kagome asked.
"Because I want to be! And I'm CREATIVE!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!!!"
Then, in that creepy, Martha Stewart voice (she scares me...) she said, "Now, today, we'll be learning how to get revenge on the people who have killed you numerous times and you need, ne, MUST kill them right away. It's simple. All you need is a good hunting knife... no, in fact, all you need is a simple knife from your kitchen. Then, you find your prey. Come - I'll demonstrate."
Kikyo crept up to Inuyasha as if he couldn't see her... he just raised an eyebrow.
"Now then, you sneak up on them unsuspectingly and then... POUNCE!!!"
Inuyasha took one step out of the way and Kikyo flew into the wall.
"Now, they MAY move out of the way... but keep going. Don't give up! They'll eventually get tired!"
WHACK!
SMACK!
POKE!
ZTT!
POUND!
"And they may have friends... so I wouldn't suggest doing this at home... think you for joining me on Martha Stewart Living..."
*faint*
STOMP!!!!
*die*
"Yay!!!!! I got to stomp someone!!!!! Fun, fun!!!!!!" Shippo cheered and did the cabbage patch.
~*~*~
So, R+R Please! It's 5:13 so I think I'm gonna go to bed. Oh, may I suggest watching Rurouni Kenshin? It's SUCH a good anime! But, it's REALLY sad, so watch it only if you're willing to cry over an anime! ... I did. Okay, bye!
