Darkness waits
Pain chorused through his body, but not from the wound, even as it bled heavily onto the ground below him. He shut his eyes to try and block out some of the feelings that soared through him, the feelings that seemed to leave ever increasing amounts of agony through his soul and mind. He looked up, painfully he noticed with the bit of sanity left in his torn and abused body, to look into the face of the one that had caused all of this. That smile, so cocky and confident, something that had drawn His attention was replaced with a look of knowing. Yet, he did not reach to help him or even show any signs of the affection that once was. Turning away, he started to walk back into the horizon, the colors of his clothing mixing with the shades of the sunset. With one last look, it was over. And darkness waited.
Power
Blackness... yes, nothing but this cursed life and the seclusion of a solder's last few days. Bloody smells fill the air, metallic and numbing. Somehow it numbs the pain of watching someone die near you; it numbs any compassion you might feel towards another. If they could bottle that numbness every military would buy, it is masses. But you cannot, all you can do is watch it do it's evil work and see the violent deaths that seem to go on forever. You try to scream and find that it sticks in your throat and you cannot cry out to warn anyone. The ones, who live never tell of the horrors they witness, it's just too painful for them to remember. So they forget, and the sickness spreads to the next generation, the same mistakes are repeated so many times and yet no one ever seems to try to help. They can't. The sickness has spread too far to be stopped now, human kind itself loves wars and violence, and bloodshed. Most of all the bloodshed, the way a dying boy looks at you and you smile in his face as he dies, that appeals to it's most basic of needs: Power. And does anyone try to help? Of course not. The human instinct is too kill. I suppose it is something you get used to no?
Exactly like you
I am hurt.... Badly I think, not that it really matters anymore, my living will not amount to anything or be helpful to anyone. I am completely and utterly alone, and yet I don't care any longer, the loneliness that once tore at me and ripped me apart. Now is calm, the pain only a dull, throbbing ache that seeps out from so deep within me that it is not noticed until it is much to late to stop it's spread. Only at night, when I cannot keep myself busy with my studies does it once more show itself. It finds me rather amusing to hurt, to rip apart from the inside out. All these things are things that I once was so used to. Things that did not hurt me or tear me except when I let my guard down now tear me into shreds of quivering bloody meat. Now it won't be stopped and I'm alone once more. I never wished for any of this. But you my cherished, adored, angel, you were an angel weren't you? I cannot remember what you once were, it has been too long, and I am too fatigued to remimber if you were an angel or a demon. I think both really, I can still hear your soft voice in my ears and yet I remimber you also as being cold to others. Yet I can also recall you crying on my arm late into the night, your weeping hurt me, more than anything I wanted to take away all your pain, you were so perfict my dearest. You who could laugh and cry in one singular sound. It was a sound that could have made the gods of heaven come down to look upon such an amazing creature as you. They would have been so mesmerized by your charm and beauty and wit... Just as I was, just as you always knew I was. You, a creature more beautifully mesmerizing than any seductress demon, more tempting that Lucifer himself could ever be. And yet I always told you how foolish you were to be so reckless with your life. Now it seems that I am the fool and I know not where you are. I never thought this would happen to me, never thought that love would be allowed to a creature as monstrous as me. Then you came, and you were here. It was heaven while you were here. You be my side at night, listening to your soft breaths during a long night, wondering what you dreamed about that was so very important to you could not let go at the end of the days. I would hold onto you so tightly, hoping that I would never ever have to let go of you. But then you were gone one day and I again was alone. Heaven became hell, oxymoron... just like you. Exactly like you in fact.
I know how
I never wanted to let go of you, you're eyes burned into me like everything in this world, I wanted to hold onto you and show you that not all humanity
is evil.
But I did not know how. I wanted to give you the moon and the stars and the sun to make you smile
and for once driven that haunted forlorn look from your eyes.
But I did not know how. I wanted you more than anything, your eyes, your smile, your... touch and I wanted to tell you that and have you at my side for all eternity and a few
days.
But I did not know how.
And so you are gone. I am truly alone for once, and I hate it more than anything. I wanted to follow you and be at your side. To die for you, to
kill for you.
But I did not know how. I want to preserve you as you once were, as you seemed to be, strong and
smart and absolutely perfect in every way. No pictures do I have, no
letters from you too me. I will preserve you though.
I know how.
Pain chorused through his body, but not from the wound, even as it bled heavily onto the ground below him. He shut his eyes to try and block out some of the feelings that soared through him, the feelings that seemed to leave ever increasing amounts of agony through his soul and mind. He looked up, painfully he noticed with the bit of sanity left in his torn and abused body, to look into the face of the one that had caused all of this. That smile, so cocky and confident, something that had drawn His attention was replaced with a look of knowing. Yet, he did not reach to help him or even show any signs of the affection that once was. Turning away, he started to walk back into the horizon, the colors of his clothing mixing with the shades of the sunset. With one last look, it was over. And darkness waited.
Power
Blackness... yes, nothing but this cursed life and the seclusion of a solder's last few days. Bloody smells fill the air, metallic and numbing. Somehow it numbs the pain of watching someone die near you; it numbs any compassion you might feel towards another. If they could bottle that numbness every military would buy, it is masses. But you cannot, all you can do is watch it do it's evil work and see the violent deaths that seem to go on forever. You try to scream and find that it sticks in your throat and you cannot cry out to warn anyone. The ones, who live never tell of the horrors they witness, it's just too painful for them to remember. So they forget, and the sickness spreads to the next generation, the same mistakes are repeated so many times and yet no one ever seems to try to help. They can't. The sickness has spread too far to be stopped now, human kind itself loves wars and violence, and bloodshed. Most of all the bloodshed, the way a dying boy looks at you and you smile in his face as he dies, that appeals to it's most basic of needs: Power. And does anyone try to help? Of course not. The human instinct is too kill. I suppose it is something you get used to no?
Exactly like you
I am hurt.... Badly I think, not that it really matters anymore, my living will not amount to anything or be helpful to anyone. I am completely and utterly alone, and yet I don't care any longer, the loneliness that once tore at me and ripped me apart. Now is calm, the pain only a dull, throbbing ache that seeps out from so deep within me that it is not noticed until it is much to late to stop it's spread. Only at night, when I cannot keep myself busy with my studies does it once more show itself. It finds me rather amusing to hurt, to rip apart from the inside out. All these things are things that I once was so used to. Things that did not hurt me or tear me except when I let my guard down now tear me into shreds of quivering bloody meat. Now it won't be stopped and I'm alone once more. I never wished for any of this. But you my cherished, adored, angel, you were an angel weren't you? I cannot remember what you once were, it has been too long, and I am too fatigued to remimber if you were an angel or a demon. I think both really, I can still hear your soft voice in my ears and yet I remimber you also as being cold to others. Yet I can also recall you crying on my arm late into the night, your weeping hurt me, more than anything I wanted to take away all your pain, you were so perfict my dearest. You who could laugh and cry in one singular sound. It was a sound that could have made the gods of heaven come down to look upon such an amazing creature as you. They would have been so mesmerized by your charm and beauty and wit... Just as I was, just as you always knew I was. You, a creature more beautifully mesmerizing than any seductress demon, more tempting that Lucifer himself could ever be. And yet I always told you how foolish you were to be so reckless with your life. Now it seems that I am the fool and I know not where you are. I never thought this would happen to me, never thought that love would be allowed to a creature as monstrous as me. Then you came, and you were here. It was heaven while you were here. You be my side at night, listening to your soft breaths during a long night, wondering what you dreamed about that was so very important to you could not let go at the end of the days. I would hold onto you so tightly, hoping that I would never ever have to let go of you. But then you were gone one day and I again was alone. Heaven became hell, oxymoron... just like you. Exactly like you in fact.
I know how
I never wanted to let go of you, you're eyes burned into me like everything in this world, I wanted to hold onto you and show you that not all humanity
is evil.
But I did not know how. I wanted to give you the moon and the stars and the sun to make you smile
and for once driven that haunted forlorn look from your eyes.
But I did not know how. I wanted you more than anything, your eyes, your smile, your... touch and I wanted to tell you that and have you at my side for all eternity and a few
days.
But I did not know how.
And so you are gone. I am truly alone for once, and I hate it more than anything. I wanted to follow you and be at your side. To die for you, to
kill for you.
But I did not know how. I want to preserve you as you once were, as you seemed to be, strong and
smart and absolutely perfect in every way. No pictures do I have, no
letters from you too me. I will preserve you though.
I know how.
