This chapter simply never went where I wanted it to. But oh well, I'm not really complaining, just stating a fact for the record ^_^ You shouldn't complain either, you get gratuitous Hisoka showering scene, so enjoy.
Immediately after he and Tsuzuki left the restaurant and began on their mission, Hisoka felt a distinct feeling of fear spread throughout his mind. He knew the mission was a common one, and that was not what he was afraid of. Rather, it was a fear of what he knew would come.
As easy as missions were, they were never solved in a single day. Even the simplest of them spanned at least two day's time. This meant one simple thing to Hisoka. He would have to share a hotel room with Tsuzuki.
Usually, the thought did not bother him. Though he would not admit it to himself, Hisoka had almost began to enjoy the intimacy that they shared sleeping in the same room. It wasn't the same as sharing a bed, but it was as close as Hisoka wanted to get at the current moment, and he was happy with what he could get.
However, sharing a room would mean something entirely different now. Hisoka had never been trusting of his sleep to not betray him. His nightmares never came when he expected them, and with them came unexpected displays of weakness and a situation which robbed him of every barrier he had constructed to distance his heart form those of others.
Nightmares exposed the reality of his fear and weakness to the world. They showed everyone just how much he carefully hid his own cravings for human contact and for someone to actually care during the day.
And if the nightmare he had last night was any indication, the nightmares in nights to come would expose so much more.
Hisoka had to fight down the urge to shudder at the thought of what would happen if those dreams came. No matter what, he did not wish to awake to find his own screams echoing in his ears and Tsuzuki's wide violet eyes fixed upon the mark on his chest and the growing lines that crept towards his throat and hands with a mix of fear and morbid awe.
Shaking his head he quickly tried to banish the thoughts. His fears could wait until the nighttime, as they often did. For now, they had a case to work on. If Hisoka let that fear seep into his work, then Tsuzuki would notice, and then…
Then would he really care about you? Would he truly show you kindness?
Hisoka wished he could deny the question that Muraki asked. However, his own doubts had long since been working at his mind. If he showed his fear, his strength would slip and then, once again, he would be reminded of the gap that existed between himself and Tsuzuki. It was that gap that constantly reminded him of how weak he was, and how that weakness would paint the image of him that was seen in Tsuzuki's eyes. He did not want to be treated as a child.
Silently, he stole a glance at Tsuzuki. The two of them were making their way to the house where a young girl had died. Her cause of death was normal; however, her spirit had yet to return. And that was where their job came in.
Tsuzuki seemed to be taking it all in stride with a smile, as always. Yet because of his own thoughts plaguing him, Hisoka had failed to notice the abnormal silence that spread between them as they walked down the streets of Nagasaki.
"Oi," he spoke up, trying to catch Tsuzuki's attention.
"What is it?" Tsuzuki asked, turning his violet eyes on his partner.
Pausing for a second to gather his thoughts, Hisoka turned his gaze away from those shining purple eyes and watched the trees pass him by as the two walked down the road.
"You're quiet," he finally said, finding no other way to approach the situation aside from sheer blunt comments.
"Ah…I see…" Tsuzuki answered with a smile, as if Hisoka's observation had revealed some sort of stunning knowledge about his partner that had never been brought to light before. Hisoka cast him a scathing glance and the purple-eyed Shinigami just laughed. "I guess I have been, I'm sorry."
"Why are you being sorry about it?" Hisoka mumbled, unsure of his own words.
"Well, it looked like it worried you, and I can't have that," Tsuzuki replied, smiling an even broader grin at the sight of the slight flush that sprung onto Hisoka's cheeks at that comment.
"Baka," the younger Shinigami muttered. Tsuzuki kept on smiling.
"I guess so," he replied, the grin still present on his face, "But I can't fix something like that after this many years, ne?"
Hisoka refused to dignify that comment with a response, as all he did was fix an emerald glare on the other Shinigami. Unfortunately, Tsuzuki had long since become impervious to his glares. He'd have to work on making them stronger. Maybe sometime later though.
"Well, this case should be pretty easy," Tsuzuki said, rambling to himself, as he usually did, "If it's just a kid we have to find, she'll probably be somewhere out in the open. Places that kids like, you know? Like maybe the park…or at a festival! Hey, Hisoka, did you ever go to a festival when you were little?" he asked, not really expecting to get a reply out of his partner, and continuing to talk when none came.
"I remember one time I went to one and I caught this cute little fish at one of the games. I think I named him Koi. It's a pretty silly name for a fish, now that I think about it. Especially since he was just a little goldfish…but I guess I was little…"
Hisoka sighed to no one and to himself. He got what he had asked for, Tsuzuki was talking again. Blathering about everything and nothing and not even caring that he was attracting stares quite simply because of the fact that the man was obviously holding out a very animated conversation with himself.
At least it was better than the silence though. Now that he had something to distract himself, he figured that he wouldn't get as hung upon the voices echoing inside his mind. And that would probably be for the best. At least for now. At least until night fell.
Itori Keiko had lived in a fairly normal house. Granted it was a bit smaller than most, and situated in a packed residential area. But it was normal nonetheless. There was a park two blocks down with a few swing sets and a set of monkey bars and a few scattered trees that had a path winding through them in the manner of a wandering snake. It was all expected, all normal.
Frankly, Hisoka wondered why a soul that young would be lingering. It was never really their job to find out things like this, but that did not stop the curious mind from wondering. Usually, children, of all souls, were the ones that made the quickest journey to the other world. They were too young to have developed too many connections to the land of the living and did not fully grasp the idea of dying yet. If there ever was a problem with a child's soul, the cause was usually some sort of lingering distress the young spirit felt from their parents. That was where the problem lay.
A normal pair of Shinigami would have disregarded this, and simply gone about their business of retrieving the soul. But Tsuzuki wouldn't have that. He never did things how a normal Shinigami would do them. Instead, Tsuzuki had insisted on visiting Keiko's home, posing as a teacher from school who wished to offer his condolences to the parents of the deceased.
In doing so, he hoped to gain some more information surrounding the Keiko's death, and quite possibly a reason as to why her soul would remain in this world.
Hisoka thought it was all foolish. But that was what he usually said to Tsuzuki's plans. Never let it be said that Hisoka had any sort of confidence for what his partner did. In fact, he secretly believed that Tsuzuki's strange quirks were the exact reason why the elder Shinigami had been pushed so close to the brink of insanity, the line which he had even been forced to cross when it came tot he events of Kyoto.
With a sigh, Hisoka shook his head. That didn't matter at the moment. Right now, they had work to be done on their case. His job in the scheme of things was simple, it always was. While Tsuzuki did his thing, speaking with the parents of the deceased and trying to find some rhyme or reason to the events that had happened, Hisoka concentrated on the actual objective of the case.
If they wanted to return the girl's soul, they would need to find it too. Sneaking into the child's room, he had managed to gain a fairly sure grasp on her empathetic aura. Everyone's was different, and through that spiritual residue of emotions, he would be able to track her.
Tsuzuki had never really approved of this method. It always left Hisoka's shields slightly weaker than usual, and that meant he was more likely to snap at his older parents. However, Hisoka did not seem to care. It was work, he had to do what had to be done.
Closing his eyes, he situated himself immediately outside the door to the child's house. No one would be able to see him but Tsuzuki, and when his older partner exited the house, he would know to wait until the empath emerged from his trance.
Slowly but surely, Hisoka let his shields slip, if only slightly, but it was enough to grant him a wider scope to the emotions that radiated throughout the region.
As he expected, there was nothing truly out of the ordinary. It was a typical neighborhood, therefore, there were typical emotions floating about in the air. The joy of a young child playing, worry of a stressed mother, contentment of a father returning from a day of work well done. It was all the same, all as he expected.
Hisoka knit his brow in concentration. Now, the hard part came. Through the waves of emotions, he would need to sort through the various spiritual auras and feelings to the find the one that matched the same essence of the girl that he had received from her room.
It would take time, but he knew he could do it.
Carefully, he began the process. Groups of emotions faded away as he found that their specific making did not match that Keiko. However, at times a new person would enter his range of perception. Quickly, he tired to deal with the new aura and either match it up to the girl's psyche or dismiss it as another person, one who was living instead of dead.
Then, it came.
The new wave of emotion almost threatened to bring Hisoka to his knees. It swept throughout the area, dark and morbid with a chill that stretched into Hisoka' soul in an all too familiar way. He knew this essence. He knew it well.
It was him.
Gasping from the shock, Hisoka quickly threw up his shields, grasping at the wall behind him for support. Only after regaining his senses a few moments later did he think to question the sudden appearance. However, Muraki seemed all too pleased to answer the Shinigami's question.
Surprised to see me, bouya? he taunted from inside Hisoka's mind. I thought I would pay you and Tsuzuki-san a little visit. I hope you don't mind
"No…" Hisoka whispered, not caring if anyone heard him. You're not supposed to be here… he thought frantically.
But I am, Muraki said calmly, Do you really think that there's anything that you or any of your 'friends' at EnmaCho can do to stop me from doing as I wish, bouya?
Just leave me alone, Hisoka spat at him, Get away from me.
I would rather not, he replied, I've been having quite a bit of fun playing with you, my precious little doll. I wonder what would happen if Tsuzuki-san realized just how much control I have over his precious partner…
You don't have control over me! Hisoka all but shouted, I…I'm not your doll!
We shall see about that bouya…we shall see. Muraki said simply. Well, enjoy your time with Tsuzuki-san, I shall be seeing you again soon…
"Muraki!" he shouted, not knowing that his words were spoken aloud, "Wait!"
"Wait…?" Tsuzuki's words broke through Hisoka's trance, "Why should I wait, Hisoka? I'm right here."
Caught by surprised, Hisoka's head turned to gaze at his partner's confused face. He could feel the heat rising to his cheeks in embarrassment as Tsuzuki looked on.
"Tsuzuki…" he began softly, trying to come up with some sort of explanation for his actions. "I…"
"Are you feeling okay, Hisoka?" His partner asked, reaching out to put a hand on the boy's forehead.
Quickly, Hisoka pushed the hand away, knowing that now more than ever he did not need the excessive rush of emotions that always accompanied Tsuzuki's touch. However, his downcast eyes failed to catch the hurt expression that swiftly crossed Tsuzuki's face as he did so.
"I'm fine…" Hisoka muttered, "I can't find any traces of her."
"Aa…I see," Tsuzuki said softly, "Well, we can try some more tomorrow. Come on Hisoka, let's go have dinner, then we can check into the hotel and get some sleep."
"Right…" Hisoka mumbled, following his partner as the two of them walked down the steps of the young girl's house and out into the street that ran before it.
Hisoka knew that his shields had not truly recovered yet, but he did not wish to tell Tsuzuki of that fact. His partner knew how the empath's powers worked. He would understand the edge to Hisoka's words as the younger Shinigami tried to gain a semblance of separation between himself and those around him. However, what Tsuzuki did not know was of the dark feeling that danced upon the edges of Hisoka's senses. The dark feeling that haunted the back of his mind and threatened to overtake him once the shadows of night fell.
For once, dinner with Tsuzuki had been surprisingly uneventful. Sometimes Hisoka had wondered if it was at all possible for his partner to come within three feet of anything with even a stitch of sugar in it without making a scene. However, on that night the older Shinigami had proven himself.
The two ate together with Tsuzuki holding a mostly one-sided conversation with himself. Occasionally Hisoka would comment, however, he kept himself more quiet than usual. The din of the restaurant was distracting, as were all of the unwanted emotions of the other diners.
Hisoka hated it sometimes. He hated being unable to put a solid barrier between himself and everyone else that he could easily regain if he ever needed to diminish it. However, such thoughts, as he knew well, were always wishful thinking.
The hotel that they were staying at was modest, but, as always, cheap. Two simple futons were set in the middle of the room. There was a small washroom off to the side, and a kitchenette on one of the walls. Hisoka had gotten used to staying in hotels that never quite seemed to be comfortable but were always livable. Tsuzuki, on the other hand, made a point of complaining about it at every given opportunity.
"Tatsumi said that we were doing fine for the budget this year, you'd think that he could spare just a little bit so that we could get some actual beds…" He complained, not caring if Hisoka replied or not, "Some of these places are so old I swear they're falling apart! He's such a cheapskate…"
"It's better than staying out on the streets," Hisoka said flatly from where he was seated on one of the futons, a book open in his lap. "At least this place isn't falling apart."
"I know…but still!" Tsuzuki added with a pout, "Tatsumi's so mean!"
"You're never going to get anything accomplished unless you complain to his face," Hisoka replied.
"But…"
"Either do something about it or stop whining," the younger Shinigami snapped, putting his book down and getting up from the futon. "I'm going out."
"Ah…Hisoka…" Tsuzuki moved as if to stop his partner, but a harsh glare from his emerald eyes stopped the Shinigami in his steps. Hisoka left the hotel room alone.
Though he had not really intended to be that harsh to his partner, he was not concerned with that manner at the moment. For as annoying as it had been, Tsuzuki's whining had brought up a valid point in his mind. Even if he could not tell his partner about what he had sensed in the area, he was sure that Tatsumi would understand his fears.
At the very least, Tatsumi was more likely to listen to him without breaking down when he first mentioned the white-haired doctor. With that thought in mind, Hisoka left for Meifu.
He knew that Tatsumi would still be in the office. Although he did not think Tatsumi had ever resorted to Watari's methods of actually sleeping in his office, he knew for a fact that the secretary would often stay late if there was still work left to be done. Therefore, it did not surprise Hisoka in the least when Tatsumi responded to the knock on his door with a muffled 'come in.'
A surprised expression crossed the secretary's face for a moment as he saw Hisoka step into his office. However, it quickly faded to be replaced with his usual calm façade.
"How can I help you, Kurosaki-kun?" he asked.
"Tatsumi-san…I…" Hisoka began, and then, after taking a breath to calm himself, he continued, "I sensed Muraki."
Tatsumi's blue eyes narrowed at the mention of the name. "Where?" he said curtly.
"Right around the house we were investigating. He's probably in Nagasaki…not that far away from where we're staying." Hisoka said.
"I see…have you told Tsuzuki-san?" Tatsumi asked cautiously, knowing how Tsuzuki would react to this sort of information.
"No, not yet," Hisoka said, shifting his gaze to the floor, "I didn't want to tell him, considering what had happened…"
Tatsumi considered his words for a moment before nodding once. "You're probably right. Unless he appears to be a threat, it would be best to keep Tsuzuki-san from knowing. However, I will be monitoring the two of you for the rest of your case just in case he does prove to be a threat, understood?"
"Yes," Hisoka said with a nod. He stood in Tatsumi's office a moment longer in the silence, his hands instinctively fretting at the edges of his shirt where he could feel the slight tingling of the spreading marks. After a moment, he gathered himself and spoke again.
"Ah…Tatsumi-san?"
"What is it?" Tatsumi asked, looking up from where he had resumed his work.
Are you going to ask if he can see them? Muraki asked in the back of his mind, You do know he's only going to chase after me because of his precious Tsuzuki-san. He won't care about you. And what will he thinks when you show him marks that aren't there, hm?
He cares about me… Hisoka replied, making the words more of an affirmation to himself than any sort of retort.
But what of the marks?
He… Hisoka began before trailing off.
Will he care about the nightmares that you suffer through?
I…
"Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi said, fixing his glance on Hisoka as he tapped his pencil against his desk, "Is there something else you wanted to say?"
"Ah…"
You're just another expense to him, you know.
"No, it's nothing," Hisoka answered quickly. "Thank you, though…" he said as he made his way out of the room.
As he left, he could have sworn that Tatsumi cast a glance of almost confused worry in his direction. But then, it was probably his imagination.
Tatsumi-san never really cared about me…did he?
Sighing, Hisoka made his way back to Chijou, not bothering to dispel the doubt placed within his mind.
By the time Hisoka had returned to the hotel room, Tsuzuki had already undertaken the task of ordering them food. Usually, they had Chinese when they were on missions. For all intents and purposes, the quick take out food was just easier than most others. However, this time Tsuzuki appeared to be getting creative.
"You got fast food?" Hisoka asked with an incredulous lift of his eyebrow.
"Uh huh," Tsuzuki nodded through a mouth full of French fries, "It's really good! You should try some!"
Hisoka stared at the monstrosity before him that was called a hamburger. He blinked once, regarded it carefully, and then turned to make his way to the bathroom. Anything with that much grease couldn't be natural, or good for him, even if he was already dead.
"I'm going to take a shower," he called out as he shut the door to the hotel's small bathroom. If Tsuzuki had anything to say about the matter, Hisoka did not hear it as he turned the water on and began undressing.
The warm water was soothing. It was something that Hisoka never ceased to enjoy whenever he could. Sometimes the rivulets of warm liquid that flowed around him were almost like the warmth and comforting embrace of another person's arms.
It was childish, he knew, but at times when he felt the water running over his body he would lean against the tile walls of the shower and hold himself. If he closed his eyes, through the mist and the white noise of the falling water, he could almost convince his mind that there was someone else there with him. Someone sharing the intimacy of the moment, soothing away his fears as their warm feelings flowed into him unbidden by the skin on skin contact.
For a moment Hisoka lingered in his self-induced haze. Sometimes if he just half-opened his eyes, he could swear that he could see Tsuzuki's amethyst eyes watching him through the mist, smiling.
Fanatsize much, bouya?
Hisoka practically jumped out of his skin upon hearing the voice. His green eyes snapped wide open as his hands dropped from where they had rested on his own shoulders.
You really shouldn't be surprised by now, Muraki taunted him.
You… Hisoka thought, his eyes narrowing unconsciously. Taking a deep breath he somehow managed to calm his racing heart as his hands curled to fists at his side.
So nice to see you again, too.
Closing his eyes, Hisoka stubbornly made an effort to ignore the voice in his mind, and set about washing. He knew that all the doctor was trying to do was instill doubt within his mind. However, what scared him more than that was the fact that he was succeeding.
He had never known that anyone cared about him, never been able to feel those warm emotions. That was what Muraki fed off of, and somehow Hisoka couldn't bring himself to deny that it was true.
Do you ever wonder what would happen if I were to appear before you now, bouya? Muraki asked, his voice cutting through the Shinigami's thoughts.
Shut up… he replied as he reached for the shampoo.
If it happened right now, would Tsuzuki-san hear you scream?
He would… Hisoka thought softly, trying to concentrate to keep his hands from trembling as they gripped the bottle.
Would he really come for you? Come to save you?
Tsuzuki would…he…he… he was shivering despite the heat of the water, on his skin he could feel the light tingling of his curse marks that he knew would turn to burning pain shortly.
Would you like to find out? Muraki asked, and then it happened.
He could feel the pain lancing through him. In that moment he was unable to do a thing to stop himself from screaming. He felt the shampoo bottle drop from his hands, as his arms frantically reached for the tiled walls. The world was falling away from him. He could feel the darkness, the darkness that indicated his presence, and it was closing in all around him.
As he fell, he could not hear anything but his own screams.
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From Dreams to Reality
Chapter Two
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More to come in the next chapter...hehehe...
