Author's Note - Thanks again for the reviews. I appreciate them. This Chapter is my favourite. I can't wait for you to read it and I hope enjoy it like I do. Let me know what you think.

mcj

CHAPTER 6 - MAN TO MAN

"Come on Grandma. You've got to be kidding me!" exclaimed Scott Tracy.

The tall dark-haired man leaned on the stainless steel kitchen bench with his face almost on the floor. Still in his International rescue uniform he looked an imposing figure to the sprightly old lady and it occurred to her just how much like his Father he really was. Identical height, same eyes, same features and definitely the same way of expressing his displeasure when he didn't get what he wanted!

Josie eyed him with pride. He was like his Father all right. An achiever. Responsible. Hard as nails when he needed to be, soft and gentle underneath. Strong. Brave. Lucille Tracy would have been proud of the man her eldest son had grown to be especially when he had willingly taken control of that rescue today to allow Jeff to do what Josie knew was so important to him.

She'd been listening to the radio when the two of them had spoken and had shed more than one tear at their words. Now here he was giving her trouble!

"No I'm not kidding you. I'll give you the same answer I gave your Father when he came in from Boston. No alcohol Scott."

"Grandma I only want one scotch. It's been rough out there today, running things from the air. Come on, you can't mean it."

"I mean it all right. We've gotten this far today and I'm determined to make it to my bed tonight in a much better state of mind than I did last year. I was worried sick"

"I can see where Dad gets his stubborn streak from." Scott sulked striding over to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup. "One little drink sure as hell isn't gonna hurt Grandma."

That's what she'd thought last year and look at the condition they'd all got themselves in!

Stubborn streak. She'd give him a stubborn streak.

He came and sat down on one of the kitchen stools with his coffee and gave her the look. She recognised it instantly. He wanted to talk. She looked about her. The trouble with Scott was when he started talking; he kept going and changed the subject often. Best that anyone who could be one of the subjects was not in earshot.

"Don't worry Grandma. Dad's walking on the beach, Alan's in his room, which worries me a bit, and the rest of the guys are in the pool. I checked. Where's Kyrano and Tin-Tin?"

"They went upstairs last I saw," she said frowning. She didn't know what had happened there. One minute she and Kyrano were planning the menu for Dinner, the next Jeff had come into the room like his pants were on fire wanting to talk to him. Half an hour later Kyrano came back looking like he'd seen a ghost and the next minute Tin-Tin asked to see him in private. He'd taken her upstairs a good hour ago and neither of them had been seen since. It had to have something to do with Alan with that combination of events. Lord what had he done this time! The clock on the wall said ten past four. Whatever Alan had done, Josie hoped it didn't blow up before this day was done.

"So sweetie. What's on your mind."

"My Father of course. Was he OK when he got back from Boston Grandma?"

Josie nodded and saw the relief on his face. This man loved his Father so deeply it touched her to her very soul.

Scott felt like a ton weight was lifted from his shoulders. He'd been worried about leaving his Father to go to the cemetery alone especially with those two brothers. He imagined he would be coming back to another "rescue" here and had worried about it all the time the rescue operation in Ontario was in progress. Thank goodness nothing seemed to have happened.

Scott felt strange not going to the cemetery this year. Like somehow he didn't care and he knew that wasn't true. He'd stood next to his Father at that grave every year for nineteen years, starting from when he was only as half his height to when he finally grew to look him in the eyes. He had even come back from his posting in the Air Force every year on the 12th March to stand beside his Father. While his Father still had breath in his body Scott expected himself to stand next to him. He had seen what his Father had gone through raising them without his mother and would always be on hand to show he cared.

His thoughts wandered to those he had of his Mother as he turned the plane away from Boston to take charge of the rescue.

The night his Father had stormed out of the house. The only night he had ever heard his parents argue like that. They never argued. He'd been awake through the whole thing and became quite frightened at how loudly his Father was yelling at her and how upset she sounded. How awful the sound of her crying was when his Father had gone. Even though Scott had been scared that his Father would return and yell at him he had crept down the hallway and into his parent's bedroom. He had never seen her cry and it upset him immensely. Scott was very protective of her with his Father away from home so often and felt a certain degree of eight years old anger towards him for walking out on her. Scott had just stood there next to bed not knowing what to say or do.

"Please don't cry Mom. "Scott remembered himself saying all those years ago as the plane swung around. "I won't ever go away from you like Dad."

Funny he remembered those words right at that point but sadly he also remembered it made his Mother cry harder about the argument she had just had.

His Grandmother brought his mind back to the conversation.

"I think something may have happened there though," she said carefully as she knew he would start worrying again.

"How's that?" he asked immediately concerned.

"John seemed happier somehow when they returned today."

"I'm glad about that. Johnny was a mess last night Grandma believe me. You had to be in Thunderbird 5 to see it."

Josie poured more coffee into his cup. There was nothing she loved more than converse with her eldest Grandson.

"I know," she mused. "He is a sensitive boy. It amazes me how unalike the two of you are."

"Hey I'm sensitive too Grandma!" Scott exclaimed pretending to be hurt.

"You know what I mean Scott. Our young John has never really gotten over your Mother dying you know."

Scott sighed. He knew that but then who had in this house?

"And while I'm on the subject. Thank you for sorting that brother of yours out last night."

Scott looked blankly at her. Which brother did she mean now? He was always sorting one of them out.

"I mean Alan."

He nodded in recognition of the "sorting out" he had done in Thunderbird 3 all the way into space and almost half the way back again. God that kid drove him crazy sometimes.

"That's OK Grandma. I thought we were in trouble at one point in the plane when I had to tell Dad about the rescue. Alan started to argue but then thought before he spoke for a change."

A noise on the stairs caused them both to look around. It was Kyrano and Tin-Tin. Josie fidgeted and started worrying again about what was going on. Tin-Tin didn't look upset but Kyrano still looked worried to death.

"Mr Scott. You have returned. I believe your mission was a success."

"Sure was Kyrano. It ran like clockwork."

"That I am pleased to hear."

"The trouble is my wicked Grandmother has hidden all the Scotch." he said tweaking her nose. "I don't suppose you could rustle me up a glass?"

Kyrano smiled. He was such a gentle man.

"Alas Mr. Scott. I too am under strict instructions from Mrs Tracy today. I would offer you one of the drinks I made for your Father however it was not much of a success I'm afraid."

"Sounds like I'd better pass then."

"Very well Mr. Scott." and with that Kyrano went out onto the balcony with Tin-Tin. Josie strained her neck to see what they were talking about.

"Grandma! Stop trying to eavesdrop!" Scott scolded her with a grin. "You're setting me a bad example."

"Well I'm worried."

"What about?"

"Never you mind about what."

"Come on Grandma! I'm your right hand man."

"Something's up around here."

Josie went on to tell Scott about his Father speaking with Kyrano all too suddenly and Kyrano speaking with Tin-Tin. Scott's lips curled in amusement. She was a real "nosey parker" and he went on to tell her so. Josie pursed her lips together as he continued to tease her.

"Grandma, its probably nothing to do with Alan." he said the smile not leaving his face. "Stop worrying."

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Alan lay on his bed looking up at the ceiling. It was five o'clock in the afternoon and normally by now he and Tin-Tin would be taking their afternoon walk. However today his Father walked alone on the beach below and he was doing everything he could to keep away from his Father right now.

Alan felt he had made a good effort so far this year in trying to avoid aggravating him. He'd agreed to fly with him to Boston, and he'd actually enjoyed watching his Father's brilliant skills at the wheel and listening to him talk about when he'd gone to the moon. He'd stopped himself arguing when his Father became agitated at Tin-Tin about contacting Scott about the rescue and not him. He'd stopped arguing about not being allowed to go on the rescue when he normally wouldn't. He went away when instructed by his Father when John was upset and needed to talk. Too bad no-one realised he terrible he felt but that was how he spent his birthday every year. Feeling bad and this year John had made him feel the worst he'd ever felt by breaking down like that.

He had been a bit worried when he saw his Father and Kyrano sitting out on his Father's balcony watching Tin-Tin and himself in the pool. They were talking very earnestly up there. One minute his Father had been sitting with John, the next he was housed up with Kyrano. Alan hoped he hadn't done anything wrong by pulling at her bikini top in the pool. He saw his Father frown when he'd done that.

His thoughts returned to her. He had suggested that they take their walk after Dinner when the moon lit the beach. He wanted to talk to her and act on those words that he heard in his head back at the cemetery today.

"If love is what you feel in your heart take it with both of your hands before it passes you by."

He didn't know how he would bring himself to say the words to Tin-Tin that he loved her but he knew he had to at least make an attempt. He didn't know if she felt the same. He was frightened that she wouldn't and where did that leave their friendship when her friendship was so important to him.

He thought about the years when they were younger, the first day in the summer vacation when she had come to live with a house full of five boys, all older than her except him. She'd been a tiny dark-haired little girl and desperately shy. She spent most days in her room playing with her dolls so she did not have to speak to any one in this new home her Father had brought her to and did not like. He'd been a brazen nine year old on his last warning from his Father to behave around her or get yet another caning upstairs. He had hidden under her bed, captured all the dolls and carted them off to his room, sending her a ransom note for them. He didn't write very well and she didn't like talking to anyone. He'd watched her search everywhere for those dolls to no avail. Finally she had to resort to speaking with him about the ransom note. He found once he got talking to her that there was something he liked in this little girl and they became friends that day. However, from the very first day they talked he started teasing her all the time and they fought often.

He remembered his friend changing from a little girl into a woman and how difficult that had been for her without a Mother in a house now full of male teenagers and grown men. His Grandmother was old-fashioned and did things the old way and wasn't of much help to the twelve year old girl. He hadn't made it easy for her, pointing out her chest wasn't flat anymore, pulling at her bra straps asking what they were and worse things he immediately shut out of his mind that he used to do to her each "month". It was a wonder, he thought feeling rather ashamed of himself, that she spoken to him at all after those days.

He remembered most of all the day the two of them were sitting on the beach talking after a swim together in the surf and it occurred to him just how pretty she was and how much her body attracted him. He was sixteen at the time and finally settling down after going through a fairly rough transition from boy to man two years prior. All sorts of terrible things had happened to him at the most inopportune moments over those two years. Being the youngest, those embarrassing moments were hilarious to his older brothers and they ribbed him constantly during that difficult time. Tin-Tin had really gotten her revenge in response to his taunting about her monthly cycles back then and he supposed they were even now in the embarrassment stakes.

Everything about her became perfect to him after that day on the beach and then they had separated to attend University at different colleges, she at Oxford in England, he in Colorado. He had missed his friend tremendously then, living from Semester to semester waiting to see her whilst nevertheless indulging himself in the "joys" of college life. There were plenty of female companions willing to keep the youngest son of billionaire Jeff Tracy from being "lonely" and he did his best to accommodate them all.

However the last vacation that he spent on the island with her before his final year began changed him totally. He had returned to Colorado a different person somehow, unaware of exactly in what way he had changed. He didn't hang out at his favourite haunts drinking until all hours of the night, or tear around the race-track as often as he did or wake up next to a different woman most Sunday mornings. He hit his college books and despite still enjoying the pranks he played on campus, graduated a highly regarded student much to the surprise of his Father.

Tin-Tin returned from Oxford with a double degree and from the moment she stepped out of that plane as he waited on the runway to greet her, it had hit him right between the eyes. He felt love in his heart and she was the one.

He would not acknowledge that it was love, either to himself or to her ,and elected to continue on with their friendship. Months later he still hadn't acknowledged it.

He remembered kissing her for the first time. That had taken more courage than carrying some of the rescues he performed. It started as a light-hearted joke as most things did between them. She'd wanted him to help her with the breakfast dishes so that she could go to the mainland with his grandmother and he offered to help only if she would kiss him. There was only the two of them there in the kitchen so no-one would see and later tease her about it. She agreed and stood on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. It just happened then, before either of them knew it had. His arms were around hers, hers were around his and their mouths were together, tongues swirling around wildly. He'd enjoyed every minute of it even though it had been a complete surprise to both of them and the two of them broke apart as if they had been bitten afterwards. The sad realisation was that Gordon had walked in on them and had proceeded to loudly broadcast what he had just seen all around the house!

His Grandmother, her Father, his Father and his four brothers had been trying to get to the bottom of how he felt about Tin-Tin and how she felt about him ever since that day.

Alan lay there feeling like a big chicken for not saying anything before now. He loved that girl all right and he guessed he'd better do something about it before it was too late.

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"Dad."

"Scott."

"You want to go over the details of the rescue? I did the debrief earlier with the guys."

"Not just now."

The wave broke and water rushed in towards where he sat tracing the sand with his finger. The tide was coming in. He'd have to get up soon.

Scott sat down quietly next to his Father. They were silent.

"Mom all right?" he said finally.

"Yeah."

That word was said with great difficulty.

"Virg, Gordon and I are going to fly out tomorrow Dad since we didn't make it today."

"Good."

That was said with more difficulty.

Scott glanced sideways as his Father continued to trace the sand. He was afraid to look too closely in case his Father was crying however Jeff Tracy wasn't crying. He was past that now. Just a look of incredible sadness marked his face as he sat there wishing things had never changed even though he knew his life was meant to follow the course that it had.

Scott tried to think of something to say to his Father but he could clearly see that he didn't want to talk.

"I'd get you a drink Dad but Grandma's hidden it."

"It's all right son. I don't need one"

I do, Scott thought.

"Dad. Is there anything I can do for you just now?"

Jeff turned to look at his eldest son. The one most like him.

"You can get your brother for me." he said steadily. The time had come for him to speak with Alan.

Scott's stomach turned as he looked at his Father. Oh no. What did he want to speak to Alan about?

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"I'm telling you nothing happened in Boston!" yelled John.

"John, Dad's out there waiting for Alan and he ain't gonna wait forever. I need you to fill me in on what happened." Scott's voice was raised louder than his brother's.

John didn't want Scott to know he'd broken down in front of his Father and he sure as hell didn't want him to know what he and his Father had spoken about. It was private and he hadn't felt this good for a long time as a result of it. He didn't need Scott chewing down his ear about failing to keep himself together at the cemetery. He'd obliged him with that for too many years.

"Like I said nothing happened Scott. We landed the plane, we hired a car, we put the flowers there, stayed a bit and then came home again. Alan didn't say anything to Dad."

"I know you're not tellin' me the whole truth Johnny. You've never been able to lie to me. You're as transparent as hell." Scott's voice was angry now and Scott Tracy was not someone to be argued with. Like their Father, he commanded, you obeyed. They were military men to the core.

"Just get off my back will ya." John shrieked storming out of the room and slamming the door.

Scott banged his fist into his Father's desk. Virgil came in from out on the balcony to see what all the shouting was about.

"What's eatin' you?"

"I'll tell you what's eatin' me. I've spent the past few weeks worrying about what might happen between my Father and my brother today. I've busted my gut for International Rescue when I should've been beside Dad at the cemetery and just when the sun is about to set on the whole miserable day that is March 12 in this house brother Johnny there won't tell me what happened in my damned absence."

Scott could hardly contain his anger at John. He was absolutely panic stricken.

"Maybe nothing happened like he said." Virgil said calmly.

"Johnny is a hopeless liar.," he snapped.

"I'm sorry to hear that March 12 gives you so much pain Scott. Let me say it does nothing for me either. "

A low and dangerous voice behind him.

Behind Scott stood Alan. Scott reddened and felt bad immediately. He didn't mean for the kid to hear him say that but concern that there was about to be another blow up overcame it all. He swung around to face his youngest brother.

"For God's sake what did you say to Dad Alan?" he yelled.

"I didn't say anything. Don't yell at me! I haven't done any thing"

"You must have."

"Dad told me to go and sit in the car when he talked to John. John was upset so that's what I did. Don't you try me on Scott I'm warning you. I've made an effort for Dad this year and despite that you're still bawling me out."

"You're darned right I am. If you did nothing why does Dad want to see you now? He never asks to see you any other time."

"Of course he doesn't want to see my sorry ass any other time. I'm the kid who killed his wife remember? He has to look at my face as it is day and day after day remembering what happened to my mother because of me."

Scott looked at his devastated face. There it was for them all to hear. The blame Alan placed on himself about what had happened to Lucille Tracy.

Alan's eyes filled and his lower lip trembled. He dropped his head.

Scott and Virgil swallowed hard as they heard the voice.

"What the hell's going on here?"

Alan turned towards the door to look directly into the eyes of his Father.

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Father to Son

"Here" he said thrusting a glass of one hundred year old Scotch into his son's hand.

"Drink this and don't tell your Grandmother."

The son in front of him sniffled a bit and sat in the leather armchair with his head down. He hadn't been in his Father's bedroom for a long time, not since his last caning nearly eight years ago and this was intimidating to say the least. However he was still too distressed to worry about that.

Jeff took a sip of the whiskey. It was magic and God he needed it before he started with the boy in front of him. Josie had forgotten he kept a collector's bottle of Scotch in his room. Actually he was sure she hadn't forgotten but knowing his Mother she'd think he would never open it. Lucy had given it to him just before John was born to celebrate the business making it's first million dollars. Despite it being a special bottle in more ways than one if ever there was a time that it needed to be opened it was now.

Jeff turned off the lights and flicked the switch on his night lamp. He pulled a second armchair from the other side of the room and sat down in it. It had been a long time since he'd had to bring one of his sons up here like this. He almost felt out of practice when at one time he was doing this at least twice a week with the five of them.

"Alan Shepherd Tracy." he said with a long sigh shaking his head.

Here sat what Jeff knew would have been Lucy's biggest challenge of all if she had have survived bringing him into the world.

What had she said to him as they looked at him in the incubator and likened him to their middle son?

"I hope he won't be as much trouble as John."

Trouble? Ha! Trouble wasn't the word for it! Hot tempered, mule-headed, arguing the point, running away, rockets through university windows, car racing stunts, a never-ending eye for the ladies and now causing him grief about Tin-Tin. Lucy didn't know what trouble was compared to this kid.

The thought crossed his mind as to how interesting and downright amusing it would have been to see her deal with all of his antics and not feel the way he did about it sometimes. Lucy got out of it easy leaving this kid to him.

He put his glass down on the sideboard next to Lucy's picture and leaned forward.

"Son. Look at me."

He did not move but Jeff noticed his hands were shaking so badly that he feared that the precious Scotch was looking mighty like it would end up on the bedroom floor. The boy wiped his face with his free hand and swallowed half the contents of the glass. He coughed a little at the smoothness and strong taste. Jeff sat waiting quietly, his hands clasped in front of him.

Finally the blue eyes came to look at him, as he knew they would and Jeff Tracy saw nothing but naked pain in them. Naked pain, regret and...Fear.

"Before I speak and before you end up on your high horse like you always do Alan, I'm going to ask you to hear me out. Then you and I will talk as a Father and son should."

"Yes Sir." he whispered so inaudibly that even Jeff was unsure he had answered him. He started anyway.

"Alan. There are so many things I need to say to you and finally I might be given the chance to say them. You are a complex young man. I know that more than anyone. I suppose I should just accept that you are not like your brothers rather than try to get you to be like them. However, I do think you and I need to address the statement you made in the lounge just now."

"Dad I.." he tried to interject but one look from his Father silenced him.

"I've really questioned my parenting skills today. First John. Now you. I don't know how I could have left this situation get so far out of hand without doing something about it. I've suspected that was how you've been feeling for a good while now and well you've just come right out and said what I've known all along."

Alan's lips started trembling again. What was his Father going to say? He didn't know if he could take any more today.

Jeff put his hand out and gripped Alan's free hand and held it tightly and looked him directly in the eyes.

"Son I do not blame you for what happened to your Mother. No one blames you for it and no one ever will while I have breath in my body. I was there son. I saw what happened to her and you have no idea who frightened I was that day for your own life. I live what happened to Lucy every year and to my regret it makes me distant from you and your brothers at this time. Especially from you. You are right, it is hard for me to look at you and not feel sad sometimes. You see that picture over there of your Mother? Every time I look at Virgil I see her face. That makes me sad too. It's not just you son."

Alan let out a sob and dropped his head again, so relieved to hear his Father say that to him.

Jeff couldn't deal with tears. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief.

"For goodness sakes Alan pull yourself together. Drink the scotch and calm down boy."

Alan was so worked up he couldn't stop himself from crying.

Jeff spoke in a severe tone. "Stop it Alan!"

"You gave John longer than this to stop at the cemetery." he blubbered feeling he was getting his usual bad deal from the man that sat in front of him determined to sort him out. Jeff rolled his eyes. Alan just had to mouth him, even when he was upset. Infuriating boy.

"That's because he's John and you are my wild-child."

The term was actually said with endearment. Yes this boy was the wild-child of the family. He drove them all to distraction and back again but despite everything Jeff Tracy couldn't see life being normal if this youngest son of his was any other way. He needed to make peace with him and be his Father again after that terrible argument last year.

"Alan you are a man now and you must understand that I am a man too. I loved my wife and I lost her when I didn't expect to, in a way I didn't expect to and before I could fully bring back the love into our lives we had before you were conceived. We, your mother and I had an argument when she told me about you being on the way and I said some things I could not be take back even though I apologised later. I'd planned to do something about that and try to fix things up after you were born but I... never got the chance. It's bothered me for twenty years and last year I made the same mistake again with you. That's why I want to change things with you right now so that if anything happens to either of us, the other is not going to feel that same regret I feel about Lucy."

"What did you argue with Mom about?" Alan asked still trying to compose himself.

"That doesn't matter any more. I realised that the day she died."

"Dad I'm so sorry I've upset you each year. When all of this started when I turned eleven I remember hearing John crying out on the balcony. I asked him why he was crying even though I knew that he was upset about Mom dying. John didn't say anything and I knew then it was because it must have been my fault. Johnny would never tell you if something was your fault. He always took the blame for everything that we did wrong. That's how I knew and I've watched everyone over the years and have believed it was true. I know now I've imagined it but it's real for me Dad just like losing my mother was real for you.

Jeff Tracy remembered each year they had argued and over what.

Eleven, the year he broke the frame that was holding her picture on his sideboard.

Twelve, the year he ran away from home.

Thirteen, the year he ran away from home again

Fourteen, the year he bad-mouthed his grandmother making her cry.

Fifteen, the year he caught him drinking his brand new bottle of bourbon

Sixteen, the year his Chemistry Lecturer rang about what he and Sandra Parsons had been doing in the lab.

Seventeen, the year he won the Sans despite being underage, forging Jeff's signature to enter the race.

Eighteen, the year he blasted the rocket through the university window in Colorado

Nineteen, last year - the worst year of all. The year he mistakenly felt his Father had blamed him for what happened to his mother, leaving Tracy Island and refusing to return.



He didn't have very good birthdays this wild-child of his. However of all the mistakes Alan had made, assuming his Father didn't love him was the worst.

"Alan I can understand how you must have been feeling. I just wish you and I could have talked about this when you were eleven not twenty."

"Dad you were a really busy man when I was little. The business took most of your time. You and I have never had much time to talk to each other. I've talked to Scott over the years but not about things like that. He's my big brother and I felt he'd think I was a baby if I told him stuff I keep inside like that. How you feel inside should be private."

Which brought the ideal opportunity for Jeff Tracy to address the other issue he wanted to clear up with Alan.

Alan looked at his Father as the tone and subject of the conversation changed. His Father was now talking to him as a man.

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"Man to Man"

"Alan I want to talk to you about Tin-Tin."

"What about her Dad?"

"It hasn't gone un-noticed in this house that you two are feeling more than just a little more for each other that normal."

"Yes Sir that's true."

"As your Father it has also not gone un-noticed that your ah... connections with her are becoming very familiar."

"No Dad I'm not doing what you're thinking with Tin-Tin if that's what you're going to ask me."

There it was. The temper. Back again. One minute Alan was in the depths of despair, the next he was mouthing off like there was no tomorrow.

Jeff didn't like talking to his boys about that subject if he could avoid it. The first time he'd tried to explain things to Alan and Gordon he made the mistake of doing with them both together. The two of them, eleven and twelve at the time and quite knowledgeable already with three older brothers in the house had fallen into fits of laughter at his discomfort and left him feeling quite inadequate to deal with the situation. He still didn't think he told them anything. The second time had been after Alan had been caught in the science lab and whilst it was more than obvious that he needed no instruction from his Father on what to do, he needed to be told he wasn't to do it in an inappropriate place with one of his classmates.

"I didn't say you were. I just said you were becoming familiar."

"What's wrong with that Dad? I've fooled around like that for years. I've only been joking around"

"What you are doing is not joking around. Believe me I know about that."

Alan glared at him through still reddened eyes. What would he know about it. His Father was one of the most straight-laced people he knew. He did everything right.

"Are you in love with her?" came the question.

"I think so", came the answer.

"Well like I said before. You're not joking around with the physical stuff then. It's gonna happen."

"Dad! "

"Have you told her you love her?"

"No."

"Why not."?

"I don't know. I don't know what it's like to love a woman like you did Dad. I never even had a Mother to try it out on. How do I know I love her? You tell me!"

Jeff thought back to when he knew he was in love with Lucy. Not the feeling he'd gotten in the pit of his stomach when hesaw her for the first time, the feeling that told him she was the one he would spend his life with. It was that night they'd agreed to meet for dinner at his hotel when he was in Paris and he asked her to take the tunnel to meet him. She only had to travel a short distance from London where she was working and had left London on time.However she did not arrive at his hotel until nine hours later and with him fast asleep. Her train had been delayed several hours by an accident in the tunnel, she'd lost her bag containing her mobile telephone and wallet, and to top the whole thing off had been rained on relentlessly as she walked to the hotel because she didn't have money for a cab. For his part he had given up on Lucille Evans that night as he waited alone in the restaurant feeling an absolute fool but not really caring about the fact he was sitting alone with a bunch of flowers opposite an empty space at the table. His thoughts were only sad as he sat there as he realised the beautiful bright girl he had spoken to at the party really hadn't wanted to see him again after all. He had been so anxious to impress her and was going to buy her anything she wanted for Dinner and then she didn't come.

It was the middle of the night when she knocked on his door. When he answered the knock in his pyjamas, to his surprise stood the girl with the beautiful eyes and smile, soaking wet to the skin and apologising profusely about letting him down and not being able to call him to explain. He'd allowed her to take a shower after he stopped laughing at her, and gave her a set of his civilian clothes to wear afterwards which she looked hilarious in. They'd sat together on the bed in his room sharing a packet of peanuts from the hotel mini-bar as their dinner and talked over endless cups of coffee for the rest of the night about everything and anything. Their first date. What a disaster! To top the night off he got himself into a pile of trouble with his Commander for falling asleep at the press interview that next morning. His excuse of "I was up all night with a woman" just didn't cut it with the Commander. That was the day though. The day he fell completely in love with Lucy.

"Your Mother was the most intelligent woman I ever knew. She was always happy; she was gifted and generous, funny and sensitive. She was the most wonderful person I ever had the chance to meet. I loved her beauty from the beginning that first time I set eyes on her. But I fell in love with the real her, that wonderful soul of hers the very next time we spoke. Imagine showing up for your first date nine hours late, getting a man out of bed and standing there with your clothing stuck to you, hair hanging in dripping wet ringlets and mascara everywhere. That was the most beautiful your Mother ever looked to me Alan and it was the happiest moment of my life when I opened that door and saw she had wanted to see me again so much that she didn't care what she looked like or how late it was. If that'd been me that night I'd have just gone home again, thinking it was a bad omen to keep seeing Jeff Tracy. I guess that's why I can't stop loving your Mother no matter what. She was just so precious to me Alan."

Jeff turned away so he could not see the tears that began to flow down his face. He was glad he had shared that with Alan. He had never told any of his sons that story and of all of them, Alan deserved to hear it the most. Maybe this had been Lucy's way of letting him know she forgave him completely about the argument. Letting him tell the son they had argued about that night how completely and utterly he had loved her.



Alan was very moved by his Father's words and really never realised what a wonderful Father he had until now. He thought back to how he'd felt when he saw Tin-Tin get off the plane as she returned from university. He'd had that feeling his Father was speaking to him about. Unlike his Father and Mother, he and Tin-Tin had not met suddenly and felt an instant attraction, their attraction had been gradual. He had never had a formal date, disastrous or otherwise. They just went everywhere and did everything together. His Father and Mother fell in love and became friends later. He and Tin-Tin were friends first and now...well... he guessed she wouldn't keep coming back all the time after all the terrible things he did to embarrass her if she didn't feel something for him.

"Dad. Thank you for telling me about my Mother. It's made me realise that I have fallen in love with Tin-Tin in my own way."

"I'm glad you see that son."

Alan hugged his Father for a long time in the darkened room.

Then Jeff spoke, his voice having the lecture tone Alan knew so well.

"Now I want you to listen to me with your head and leave your heart out of this conversation."

"What Dad?"

"If you do love Tin-Tin as you say and things look like going further which I can see quite clearly that they are, I want you to remember she is Kyrano's daughter Alan and not just some college girl and you need to take the right precautions."

"I'm not stupid Dad.."

"I didn't think I was either." his Father replied. "But I was and I'm telling you not to do the same."

"What are you talking about?"

"My past Alan. Trust me. Take it slow and be careful with Tin-Tin and be careful yourself. I love that girl like she is my daughter."

"I'm not going to rush her off and throw her down on the bed and perform all sorts of wild acts with her. Don't be ridiculous. I wonder what you think about me sometimes Dad! I'm going to bed."

Well, the close moment seemed abruptly over with that statement and Jeff Tracy guessed he'd never have another moment quite as close again with the wild-child he'd named after Alan Shepherd twenty years ago.

Jeff wondered in hind-sight if Alan Shepherd the Astronaut had displayed the same personality traits....

"Hot tempered, mule-headed, arguing the point, running away, rockets through university windows, car racing stunts, a never-ending eye for the ladies..."

It was highly unlikely. Alan Shepherd had been a military man and you just didn't stay like that in the military.

Jeff Tracy allowed himself to smile as that hot-tempered fifth son of his left the room in a huff after being warned about care in his love life.

Well if Alan Shepherd wasn't like that, Alan Shepherd Tracy was and not even the military would change that boy.

Jeff Tracy reached over and poured himself a glass of that wonderful scotch. He felt better now.

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Alan strode down the hallway to his room, a myriad of emotions. He was relieved, he was happy, he was sad, he was in love, he was forgiving, he was insulted, he didn't know how the heck he felt other than his heart was now at peace. All the other feelings washed around inside him. Take precautions. How insulting was that. His Father might be straight down the line but he wasn't. Precautions. He didn't think so. He'd been in college for God's sake.

The whole household was dark, everyone was in bed, and obviously he had missed his planned walk with Tin-Tin .How long had he been up there in his Father's room? The clock in the hall said five minutes past midnight. Nearly five hours.

It was March 13 in the Tracy household.

His feathers still more than ruffled , he turned the handle and opened the door of his room to go inside.

His face fell to the floor.

Sitting there on his bed with just the night light on ... was Tin-Tin.

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I know a mistake in Alan's age in the Prologue has messed up Tin-Tin & Alan's ages at University but please be kind to me! I've learnt from my mistakes.

Next and final main Chapter -MAN TO WOMAN