Author's note - I hope my PG 13 rating is OK for the content in this chapter. Please let me know if I should change it.Thanks everyone. mcj.
CHAPTER 7 - MAN TO WOMAN
"Alan we need to talk." she said fixing her determined brown eyes on him.
Alan stood in the doorway wishing he could turn and go back out again. He didn't want to talk to Tin-Tin right now. He had too much to think about after being with his father all those hours. Thoughts of all kinds and particularly thoughts of her had to be put in proper order before he could talk to her and say what he needed to say.
It didn't help that she had never looked more beautiful to him, sitting on his bed, and to his mind came the words his father had said about how his mother looked when he fell completely in love with her. Soaking wet, clothing stuck to her body and mascara everywhere.
Not Tin-Tin. He took in every facet of her face and body. Her hair was piled loosely on her head in that French style she adopted in college, whispers of it around her forehead and cheeks. He could smell the scent of her body from where he stood; it was musky, delicious, and inviting. Her eyes were sparkling brown and deep, her face was perfect and extremely pretty, her lips full and red. Her body, wrapped in a long red robe which he noted with amusement was double knotted at the waist, was curvaceous and parts of it still a mystery to him.
His Fathers words. "Take it slow with Tin-Tin."
She looked at him standing in the doorway hoping she was doing the right thing in coming to his room like this in the middle of the night. She didn't know if he would want to talk after being with his Father but she had to come for her own sake and her own sanity.
He had never looked quite so dreadful as he did at that moment, standing there looking like he'd seen a ghost. His snow-white blonde hair was ruffled and untidy, those bright blue eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, his shirt was creased and hanging loosely over his trousers and she could clearly smell what she shouldn't smell. The unmistakable smell of Scotch. That was one she'd have over on him she thought with amusement. Grandma finding out that he had been drinking against her express orders. Boy he would get one heck of a lecture if she found that out.
Still it occurred to Tin-Tin that even how awful he looked, how tired and strained, he had never been quite so attractive to her as he was right now. She didn't care how Alan looked. She loved him anyway.
After a few moments he put on the mask again. That stupid facade that he hid behind each and every time he came face to face with this beautiful young woman he loved so much. He closed the door and sat on the bed next to her poking her in the ribs.
"You're darned right I want to talk to you. Where's my birthday present? You never gave it to me yesterday and I want it."
She shook her head. No she wasn't going to let herself hide this anymore and she wasn't going to let him hide what he felt either. That was, if he felt anything for her at all. She began to worry.
Her Father's words.
"You two have a lot to say to reach other."
"No Alan." she said earnestly. "Don't fool around."
"I knew you didn't buy me anything. I'm hurt now, " he said, desperately trying to keep the joke going. He didn't want to face this.
His Father's words. "Have you told her that you love her?"
She bit her lip.
Her Father's words. "Those who care in this way do not keep secrets from one another."
"Alan I mean it. I need to talk to you."
He stopped and the smile faded from his face leaving him looking anxious.
His Fathers words "I was up all night with a woman."
"Baby..."he began kissing her cheek as he dared not kiss her lips. "Not tonight. It's been a long day."
She sat there for a while in silence. She knew he hadn't been sleeping well these last few days with the worry about his birthday and she hadn't either for a different reason. She did not want to lose the friendship of Alan Tracy and she feared she was about to in what she had to say to him. He had a strange personality, this youngest Tracy son, and she had grown to know it over the years. If he felt threatened by something, he would hide from it, or worse walk away. If she threatened him with some sort of commitment to her she knew he would walk away and she didn't want him to walk away.
Her Father's words. "This is the risk you take in matters of your heart."
No. She just could not do it. She could not continue to live here on this island paradise and be part of International Rescue if she didn't have Alan Tracy as her friend. The price was too high.
He had been the most horrible little boy and she remembered that stupid ransom note and how hard she'd cried about the dolls. How easy it would have been to run and whisper to Jeff Tracy about what he'd done and watch Alan get the threatened caning for it. She hadn't. She'd gone and talked to him herself and ended up liking him.
Why she had continued to like him she didn't know...making comments about her body, pulling at the straps of that awful bra that Josie made her wear before she was ready. The dreadful humiliation in her life when he found out she had become a woman in more ways than one, when he stole more than just dolls from her room each month and wrote ransom notes for them. She wasn't able to tell Jeff Tracy or her Father about that either.Alan would have gotten worse than a caning for that if she had. That had been the worst time of her life. She was only thirteen years old.
It had been a welcome relief when he grew old enough to embarrass himself with the change from boy to man. There had been more than one occasion by the pool, that he'd had to dive in before he thought any one saw what was happening but she'd seen it and she'd teased him each and every time. He was never able to watch anything suggestive on television whilst wearing those tight moleskin pants. Regular as clockwork he'd had to dash from the room unexpectantly. She'd teased him about his unplanned exits, asking where and why he had gone. How embarrassed he had been but it would never be as bad as the ransom notes each month. Her embarrassment about that topped anything she could ever do to him.
She remembered the first time she realised she was attracted to him as a man. It had been that last vacation they'd taken before their final College year when she realised how tall he had become, how strong and handsome his face was, how the fire burned in his blue eyes and how her heart stirred when she looked at him. However he was the son of a billionaire with a girl in every part of the United States from what she knew of his College escapades. She was just the daughter of the family retainer, a girl who'd never really had a lot of boyfriends because of her shyness and devotion to her studies. She had never entertained Alan Tracy would ever look upon her as anything other than a friend.
As for that stupid first kiss that embarrassed her in front of everyone in the household, that was Alan's fault too. How it happened she still didn't know and it had bothered her that she'd been feeling that strongly about Alan Tracy to behave like that. The feelings she had for him started to intensify after that and they had now gotten to the point that she was worried she would lose his friendship if she dare go any further and admit to loving him.
Maybe it was better to tell Alan that it was best if they stopped the afternoon walk and the kisses and just let it revert back to the way it used to be when they were nine years old. The days when they could run down the beach together chasing a ball, explore the caves of Tracy island to return just before supper totally exhausted, play board games, talk about not having a mother. The days where life was uncomplicated and sweet.
Love just complicated things between them.
The words came out before she had time to think about them much.
"Alan. I don't think I want to us to behave like this any more. The kissing and the walking. I just want us to be friends. It's best that way"
If Alan thought the past few hours were traumatic, this topped it off. He felt his stomach fall past his feet and his whole world collapse.
He heard his mother's words in his head for the third time.
"If love is what you feel in your heart take it with both your hands before it passes you by. That is what life is about."
He looked into her eyes and saw tears in them. Oh no, he'd left it too late to tell her. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. His friendship with her was important he knew but his love of her was more than important.
It was his everything.
Tears spilled from his own eyes, as he looked at her feeling confused and devastated.
"No Tin-Tin. I won't let you say that to me." he said taking both her hands and clinging to her like a child.
"No Alan I mean it. You're my friend and I want it to stay that way."
He dropped her hands and looked at her desperately.
"I don't want to just be your friend. I love you Tin-Tin Kyrano with all of my heart and everything I have. If lose you as my friend so that you will let me love you... well... that's the way it'll have to be."
He cringed and waited for her to get up and leave him, ending everything, their love and their friendship.
Instead his sweet little Tin-Tin, the girl he loved more than his own life, kissed his lips softly and began to cry. She whispered in a gentle voice,
"Alan. I love you too but I didn't think you felt the same. Of course I don't want to just be your friend if I can be more."
"You mean that?"
"From the bottom of my heart ."
March 13 had just become the happiest day of Alan Tracy's life. He kissed her deeply there on that bed of his, lovingly and with commitment. She returned the kiss with equal feeling. They stared at each other for a while saying nothing.
"I'm so relieved I told you that." he said holding her close to him. "I think I nearly lost you then."
"Oh Alan I feel so stupid. I had intended to come and tell you that I loved you but it was too hard for me to say. We've been just friends for so long."
"I know the feeling. I've just had a lecture from Dad about not saying anything to you about how I feel."
"How did things turn out with your Father.?"
Tin-Tin had felt so worried for Alan when she saw him broken down in the lounge earlier in the evening. She had been in the kitchen preparing Dinner and didn't know what had gone on. There had been some shouting but it didn't seem to be Alan. She'd gone through the lounge room to get ready for her walk with Alan on the beach and walked in to find Jeff Tracy glaring down Scott and Virgil and Alan being ordered to his Father's bedroom in tears. She had excused herself and gone back to her Father. Obviously the walk had been unexpectedly called off and neither Jeff nor Alan came down for dinner. If Tin-Tin was concerned at what the outcome would be up in that bedroom at least she did not pace the floor like Josie and Scott did, both of them totally panic-stricken. The whole family knew that anyone who'd gone to Jeff Tracy's bedroom alone with him when they were children didn't fare very well.
Alan sat up.
"You'd need the rest of the night to hear about it."
"I've got all the time you need if you want to tell me."
His Father's words. "I was up all night with a woman."
He kissed her again. God she was beautiful and he had nearly lost her through his own stupidity. He wouldn't make that mistake again. From now on, he was going to say everything and anything about how he felt for this girl. He would no longer hold anything back.
His Fathers thoughts of his mother. "We sat on together on that bed and talked about everything and anything."
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are Tin-Tin? " he said, kissing her forehead.
"Are you telling me now?"
"Yes I am."
"I love you Alan." The words came easily now.
"I love you too Tin." he said softly.
"How long have you felt like this ?"
"You tell me first! Obviously you've loved me for much longer that I've loved you."
"That's what you think."
"That's what I know!" he said jabbing her in the ribs and tickling her
The friendship and teasing was still there. It was a relief to them both but in the back of Alan's mind...
His Father's words. "You're not joking around with the physical stuff. It's gonna happen."
Alan removed his arm from around her shoulders.
"Tell me about what happened with your Father then?" she asked, preparing to listen.
He moved uncomfortably. Best to end any risk of it happening, right now. It was his bedroom for goodness sake.
"No. I'm tired. I'll tell you about it when we walk sometime."
"All right then. I am a bit tired too. Is everything all right now?"
"I learned a lot about both my Father and myself tonight. He has a funny way of sorting my head out it but that's my Dad."
That term was actually said with endearment. Tin-Tin knew then that Jeff Tracy and his youngest son were at peace.
"By the way." he added with a grin. "I have a new name...wild-child"
"What's new about it? You are a wild-child Alan. We all know that. Good night."
She kissed him and stood up. As she put her hand on the door to leave he added,
"And I'm still waiting for my birthday present.I'm not giving up until I get it you know."
She still had her back to him gripping the door handle. She bit her lip. Would she do this? Dare she say this? What would he think of her?
Tin-Tin Kyrano did not care at this point.
She turned around to face him and her brown eyes met his blue eyes in the night light.
"Why do you think I was here tonight?" she said softly. " I wanted your birthday present to be my first time with you Alan."
Alan could not believe what he had just heard and any words of warning his Father had given him fell straight out of his head along with any common sense he had. The impulsive young man that was Alan Tracy had been offered what he'd dreamed about for years and there was no way he was going to turn it down.
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He took her hair down and planted powerful and fervent kisses down her face and neck.
Alan Tracy normally made love as he drove his racing car, fast, furious and to reach the finish line first. He'd had a lot of practice at it in college and like racing his car, he hadn't had the opportunity for a while either. All the more reason to slow down and enjoy the moment. No way. Not the son Jeff Tracy called his wild-child.
Still as she had admitted it was her first time he knew he had to be a little more considerate of her than he had been of the girls in college.
His Father's words. "She is Kyrano's daughter." made him ease back a little but it wasn't his way and it wouldn't be his way after this first time he knew.
She allowed him to draw open the robe she wore, both of them knowing that once this act was done, there would be no turning back.
No more "just friends" which they had both hidden behind. They would be lovers. This felt like leaving behind their childhood forever.
His Father's words. "Take it slow and careful."
Don't think of your Father at a time like this Alan he heard himself say, still holding himself back from his instincts.
The robe undone, he stared at what was now in front of his eyes, her beautiful naked body, everything he had always imagined it to be and he'd been imagining it since he was sixteen years old.
She looked into his eyes.
His Father's words "She is Kyrano's daughter. Not some college girl."
"Are you sure about this?" he breathed giving her one last chance to change her mind.
She was Kyrano's daughter. How many times did that voice of his Father have to run through his head. He knew that, but he was a man and she was a woman. That was all he cared about right now.
In some ways Alan didn't want them to lose their innocence together and he hadn't planned to yet. Now with her there...like this...right there in front of him, he didn't want to her to change her mind. He knew he wasn't going to be able to restrain himself if she said no now, despite his understanding that she would need special consideration this first time.
She turned to him and put one arm around his shoulder and began unbuttoning his shirt with the other. Slipping the shirt from his broad shoulders her hands went further and she encouraged him to continue with her.
"Alan... I'm sure," she whispered feeling more than a little frightened at his unexpected dominance of her. His Father seemed to be in him then, the same formidable figure.
Alan Shepherd Tracy pressed his lips to hers and touched his future wife for the first time as a man.
The first time was difficult but the second was earth shattering for them both.
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He rolled over and looked at the clock on his sideboard. The time said twenty five past five.
He lay back and thought about where the last twenty-four hours had taken him. Twenty-four hours ago he could not bring himself to talk to his father without bitterness. Twenty-four hours later they were at peace with each other. Twenty-four hours ago Gordon had woken him and kissed him on the lips. Twenty-four hours later he had woken up in bed with Tin-Tin. Twenty-four hours ago he didn't understand his feelings for her. Twenty-four hours later he had told her he loved her and made love to her twice.
He'd never had twenty-four hours quite like his birthday this year. What had Tin-Tin said?
"I'm sure you will have a wonderful birthday."
She was sure right about that!
He watched her sleeping beside him and touched her shoulder still enjoying the sensation of her body next to his.
He hoped he had been gentle enough for her first time. He had really tried to restrain himself but despite this he knew he had hurt her a bit. However, unlike in college, it at least worried him that he knew she was grimacing with discomfort under him as he felt the pleasure tear through his body.
Afterwards they had lain in each other's arms staring at each other, neither of them believing that they would have ever contemplated doing this. He stroked her hair with one hand and told her he loved her but continued to caress that beautiful body that she had surrendered to him quite unexpectedly.
"I've got one up on you now" she teased him as she ran her hands over his strong chest and taut stomach.
That had been a mistake. Tin-Tin Kyrano didn't know him well enough as a man yet. Once was never enough for Alan Tracy and she would have to learn that. His need was building again as she touched him and he began to touch her with a definite intent. Trying to curb himself he managed to say,
"What have you got on me? Us doing this? Just who can you blackmail me with about this? No-one that's who."
But he kept touching and her need started growing. He kissed her and continued.
"I know you and your Father were drinking last night and if I tell Grandma…"
She stopped mid sentence unable to continue with what she was feeling in her body.
Her need was real now. He could feel it. His own need was screaming to be satisfied and not gently this time either.
"Tin-Tin not now.." he said hovering over her again and unwilling to wait much longer.
Her body received him better the second time, which was fortunate with the demanding and brutal way that he did it. The passion he felt caused him to gasp at the height of it. He felt her body reaching the same heights. That final moment. Nothing more.
I've never felt anything like that Alan," she breathed as they fell asleep exhausted in each other's arms.
Life couldn't get much better for Alan Tracy on March 13 except one terrible sick feeling as he lay there waiting for her to awake.
His Father's words.
"You need to take the right precautions."
Alan supposed she had. His Father could keep that piece of advice. He just didn't do that sort of thing. He assumed Tin-Tin would be the one to worry about preventing the babies. After all she was the woman wasn't she?.
His Father's words. "I didn't think I was (stupid) either."
Despite Jeff Tracy's experience, things had not changed with the son he had produced.
History looked like repeating itself and time was now going to tell on that.
Her Father's words. "Be careful my daughter. I beg you."
She did not hear her Father's words in her head. She was fast asleep.
Alan heard Kyrano walking down the hall on his way to the kitchen.
He leaned over her sleeping frame and gently shook her awake.
"Tin-Tin."
She opened her eyes.
"You'll have to go now. Your Father's awake."
She sat up on her elbows and focused her tired eyes. When had they gone to sleep? Only two hours ago. She screwed up her face in obvious discomfort as her body reminded her of the forcefulness of her experience with Alan.
He went to draw her into his arms again but then thought better of it. If Kyrano was out of bed, his Grandmother would be too and Scott would soon follow. Scott was an early riser. Alan firmly believed that Scott never actually slept. That older brother of his could stay awake for over thirty six hours, so cast iron was his discipline over his mind and body.
Alan knew that both Grandma and Scott would be anxious to see what happened with his Father last night and they would be bursting in before long wanting the details. Neither of them ever knocked and Alan could imagine their reaction on seeing the two of them naked in bed together. The "just friends" line would be of no use to either of them whatsoever then and his life wouldn't be worth a pinch if Grandma caught him.
"That'd be right Alan," she laughed softly. "Love me and tell me to leave."
She pulled back the rumpled sheets and blankets and pulled on the robe that Alan had discarded to the floor. Alan looked at the body he had loved intimately with such great care the first time and such passion the second.
"Tin-Tin." he whispered. "That was the best birthday present you could ever have given me."
"I love you Alan."
"I love you too Tin-Tin."
With that she slipped out into the half dark hallway, the first light of morning dawning on Tracy island and returned to her room.
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Man to Woman
"Jeff"
"Mother"
"Is everything all right with my grandson?"
"Mother you have five grandsons."
"You know which one."
A few moments of reflection
"Yeah. We've sorted everything out."
"Is that all you're going to tell me Jeff?"
"For now."
Awkwardness.
"Jeff I want to ask you something."
"I might not answer you Mother."
"That's true I suppose but I'm going to ask you anyway."
"I don't doubt that."
Expectant.
"Is there something going on that you and Kyrano know about my grandson and Tin-Tin that you're not telling me"?
"I'm not answering that."
She knew it! Something was up and he wasn't going to let her in on it. Well two could play this game.
"I remember a certain young man once who brought a beautiful little English girl to meet me in Kansas. I knew straight away that he would marry that little girl the first time she smiled at me. That young man walked her around the farm, stared into her eyes and told her of his dreams and aspirations. Unbeknown to that certain young man both his Father and Mother were aware that on the first night at the farmhouse, he and that little English girl made love not once, but twice in the room next to us."
Jeff Tracy's cheeks reddened with disbelief. He couldn't believe after all this time he had been caught out.
"Mother you knew about that?"
"We knew all right Jeff!"
"I was so careful that night mother. We didn't make one sound. I swear."
"The walls were very thin in that farmhouse Jeff."
"Not one sound Mother. I'm telling you."
"Let me see what did Lucy say to you. I think it was "I've never felt anything like that."
His cheeks became scarlet. Lucy had whispered that right down close in his ear that very first time. They'd still been locked together when she said it to him. No-one could possibly have heard that. Where had his mother been? Under the bed or something?
"I'm glad you didn't say anything to Lucy. She would have died."
It was not over for this son of hers yet.
"I also remember a certain night that I took three little boys out to see a movie so that their Daddy could talk to his wife about business plans in Asia he hoped would change their lives forever. How I know that certain Daddy left another little boy cry for his bottle for nearly half an hour while he and that little English girl made love again in the room next to him."
"How the heck did you know that"?
"I forgot my purse and had to let myself in to get it. I knocked for ages but your baby son was crying so loudly and you were both so busy neither of you heard me come in. I had a mind to burst in on the two of you and tell you both off for leaving little Gordon to cry like that."
Jeff felt completely and totally embarrassed. He could not believe his mother knew all about the two of them. However he fondly remembered that he and Lucy had made love twice that night too. He had always made love to Lucy twice. Once was never enough for him... not with her.
Teasing complete, it was time for Josie to say something on that subject.
"I also know from the mathematics of it that you ended up with my youngest grandson as a result of that night. "
He nodded. Yes they certainly did, whether it was the first or the second time but because of it... well he didn't want to think about that any more this year.
"...And the reason for the guilt you feel in your heart about losing that little girl of yours like you did Jeff."
Silence.
"You don't have to say any more Mother. I know that you're right."
She began again.
"And all the more reason that you should listen to another story I have to tell you."
"Oh no. What other parts of my love life have you witnessed Mother?"
"I know of a certain young man who met a pretty little Malaysian girl eleven years ago. They played together as children and grew up together. He walked her around the beautiful island where they lived and he stared into her eyes and talked to her about their shared life in International Rescue. I knew when that happened that the young man was destined to marry that little girl. However, unbeknown to that young man too I am very aware, unlike his Father, that he and that little Malaysian girl made love twice last night in his room."
"Mom you've got to be damn well kidding me!"
Jeff's hair almost stood on end and his temper rose. Despite everything that he had said to that son of his last night, Alan had gone and done it anyway. Not just once but twice too! Jeff thought back to his love-making with Lucille. Always twice, every time. This son of his really did reflect his time with her.
Josie watched him with amusement.
"Now that young man's father couldn't possibly be sore at him when he acted so like his Daddy could he?"
Jeff rubbed the back of his red neck feeling quite foolish and shaking his head at the truth of her words. He couldn't get angry when he'd done the same thing himself with Lucy all those years ago.
Anyway in thinking about it, it was always going to happen with Alan and Tin-Tin he supposed. It was only a matter of when. He was lucky he had the chance to speak with him and Tin-Tin with Kyrano before it did.
He looked at his Mother hating the fact that she had the definite upper hand in this argument.
"So Mother how did you find out about them and don't tell me the walls around here are thin or you left your purse in Alan's room either because I won't believe you."
"I heard her whisper to her Father in the kitchen this morning. She is very close to him and probably thought he needed to know. And just so you know. She was very careful. I think that's what you were trying not to tell me earlier."
"Mom you are a very wise lady."
"Of course I am. I'm your mother. That is why you shouldn't feel guilty about what happened to Lucy. The son you gave her that night has grown into a fine young man who will marry Kyrano's little Tin-Tin one day and will take you both to the next stage of your life where I am now. Watching your grandchildren grow up."
"Thank you Mother."
"And finally. Don't tell Alan that you know about last night for quite a few years yet. If it's anything like you feel right now it'll be worth the wait."
Jeff Tracy's heart seemed to lift somehow as he watched that wonderful woman walk away. She had just released a twenty-year burden from his shoulders.
However the fact she knew about him and Lucy at the farmhouse really made him feel foolish.
It put him so much in Alan's shoes that he just couldn't be angry at that compulsive son of his. Jeff imagined how much Grant Tracy would have chewed him out if he had confessed to him about he did with Lucille at the farmhouse. He guessed then he wouldn't be hearing from Alan either.
Some things Fathers and sons just didn't talk about once they had happened
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Is Alan a brat or what that's what I ask? Could be another story come out of that night?
Epilogue to come -The Two Fathers Watch
CHAPTER 7 - MAN TO WOMAN
"Alan we need to talk." she said fixing her determined brown eyes on him.
Alan stood in the doorway wishing he could turn and go back out again. He didn't want to talk to Tin-Tin right now. He had too much to think about after being with his father all those hours. Thoughts of all kinds and particularly thoughts of her had to be put in proper order before he could talk to her and say what he needed to say.
It didn't help that she had never looked more beautiful to him, sitting on his bed, and to his mind came the words his father had said about how his mother looked when he fell completely in love with her. Soaking wet, clothing stuck to her body and mascara everywhere.
Not Tin-Tin. He took in every facet of her face and body. Her hair was piled loosely on her head in that French style she adopted in college, whispers of it around her forehead and cheeks. He could smell the scent of her body from where he stood; it was musky, delicious, and inviting. Her eyes were sparkling brown and deep, her face was perfect and extremely pretty, her lips full and red. Her body, wrapped in a long red robe which he noted with amusement was double knotted at the waist, was curvaceous and parts of it still a mystery to him.
His Fathers words. "Take it slow with Tin-Tin."
She looked at him standing in the doorway hoping she was doing the right thing in coming to his room like this in the middle of the night. She didn't know if he would want to talk after being with his Father but she had to come for her own sake and her own sanity.
He had never looked quite so dreadful as he did at that moment, standing there looking like he'd seen a ghost. His snow-white blonde hair was ruffled and untidy, those bright blue eyes were red-rimmed and swollen, his shirt was creased and hanging loosely over his trousers and she could clearly smell what she shouldn't smell. The unmistakable smell of Scotch. That was one she'd have over on him she thought with amusement. Grandma finding out that he had been drinking against her express orders. Boy he would get one heck of a lecture if she found that out.
Still it occurred to Tin-Tin that even how awful he looked, how tired and strained, he had never been quite so attractive to her as he was right now. She didn't care how Alan looked. She loved him anyway.
After a few moments he put on the mask again. That stupid facade that he hid behind each and every time he came face to face with this beautiful young woman he loved so much. He closed the door and sat on the bed next to her poking her in the ribs.
"You're darned right I want to talk to you. Where's my birthday present? You never gave it to me yesterday and I want it."
She shook her head. No she wasn't going to let herself hide this anymore and she wasn't going to let him hide what he felt either. That was, if he felt anything for her at all. She began to worry.
Her Father's words.
"You two have a lot to say to reach other."
"No Alan." she said earnestly. "Don't fool around."
"I knew you didn't buy me anything. I'm hurt now, " he said, desperately trying to keep the joke going. He didn't want to face this.
His Father's words. "Have you told her that you love her?"
She bit her lip.
Her Father's words. "Those who care in this way do not keep secrets from one another."
"Alan I mean it. I need to talk to you."
He stopped and the smile faded from his face leaving him looking anxious.
His Fathers words "I was up all night with a woman."
"Baby..."he began kissing her cheek as he dared not kiss her lips. "Not tonight. It's been a long day."
She sat there for a while in silence. She knew he hadn't been sleeping well these last few days with the worry about his birthday and she hadn't either for a different reason. She did not want to lose the friendship of Alan Tracy and she feared she was about to in what she had to say to him. He had a strange personality, this youngest Tracy son, and she had grown to know it over the years. If he felt threatened by something, he would hide from it, or worse walk away. If she threatened him with some sort of commitment to her she knew he would walk away and she didn't want him to walk away.
Her Father's words. "This is the risk you take in matters of your heart."
No. She just could not do it. She could not continue to live here on this island paradise and be part of International Rescue if she didn't have Alan Tracy as her friend. The price was too high.
He had been the most horrible little boy and she remembered that stupid ransom note and how hard she'd cried about the dolls. How easy it would have been to run and whisper to Jeff Tracy about what he'd done and watch Alan get the threatened caning for it. She hadn't. She'd gone and talked to him herself and ended up liking him.
Why she had continued to like him she didn't know...making comments about her body, pulling at the straps of that awful bra that Josie made her wear before she was ready. The dreadful humiliation in her life when he found out she had become a woman in more ways than one, when he stole more than just dolls from her room each month and wrote ransom notes for them. She wasn't able to tell Jeff Tracy or her Father about that either.Alan would have gotten worse than a caning for that if she had. That had been the worst time of her life. She was only thirteen years old.
It had been a welcome relief when he grew old enough to embarrass himself with the change from boy to man. There had been more than one occasion by the pool, that he'd had to dive in before he thought any one saw what was happening but she'd seen it and she'd teased him each and every time. He was never able to watch anything suggestive on television whilst wearing those tight moleskin pants. Regular as clockwork he'd had to dash from the room unexpectantly. She'd teased him about his unplanned exits, asking where and why he had gone. How embarrassed he had been but it would never be as bad as the ransom notes each month. Her embarrassment about that topped anything she could ever do to him.
She remembered the first time she realised she was attracted to him as a man. It had been that last vacation they'd taken before their final College year when she realised how tall he had become, how strong and handsome his face was, how the fire burned in his blue eyes and how her heart stirred when she looked at him. However he was the son of a billionaire with a girl in every part of the United States from what she knew of his College escapades. She was just the daughter of the family retainer, a girl who'd never really had a lot of boyfriends because of her shyness and devotion to her studies. She had never entertained Alan Tracy would ever look upon her as anything other than a friend.
As for that stupid first kiss that embarrassed her in front of everyone in the household, that was Alan's fault too. How it happened she still didn't know and it had bothered her that she'd been feeling that strongly about Alan Tracy to behave like that. The feelings she had for him started to intensify after that and they had now gotten to the point that she was worried she would lose his friendship if she dare go any further and admit to loving him.
Maybe it was better to tell Alan that it was best if they stopped the afternoon walk and the kisses and just let it revert back to the way it used to be when they were nine years old. The days when they could run down the beach together chasing a ball, explore the caves of Tracy island to return just before supper totally exhausted, play board games, talk about not having a mother. The days where life was uncomplicated and sweet.
Love just complicated things between them.
The words came out before she had time to think about them much.
"Alan. I don't think I want to us to behave like this any more. The kissing and the walking. I just want us to be friends. It's best that way"
If Alan thought the past few hours were traumatic, this topped it off. He felt his stomach fall past his feet and his whole world collapse.
He heard his mother's words in his head for the third time.
"If love is what you feel in your heart take it with both your hands before it passes you by. That is what life is about."
He looked into her eyes and saw tears in them. Oh no, he'd left it too late to tell her. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. His friendship with her was important he knew but his love of her was more than important.
It was his everything.
Tears spilled from his own eyes, as he looked at her feeling confused and devastated.
"No Tin-Tin. I won't let you say that to me." he said taking both her hands and clinging to her like a child.
"No Alan I mean it. You're my friend and I want it to stay that way."
He dropped her hands and looked at her desperately.
"I don't want to just be your friend. I love you Tin-Tin Kyrano with all of my heart and everything I have. If lose you as my friend so that you will let me love you... well... that's the way it'll have to be."
He cringed and waited for her to get up and leave him, ending everything, their love and their friendship.
Instead his sweet little Tin-Tin, the girl he loved more than his own life, kissed his lips softly and began to cry. She whispered in a gentle voice,
"Alan. I love you too but I didn't think you felt the same. Of course I don't want to just be your friend if I can be more."
"You mean that?"
"From the bottom of my heart ."
March 13 had just become the happiest day of Alan Tracy's life. He kissed her deeply there on that bed of his, lovingly and with commitment. She returned the kiss with equal feeling. They stared at each other for a while saying nothing.
"I'm so relieved I told you that." he said holding her close to him. "I think I nearly lost you then."
"Oh Alan I feel so stupid. I had intended to come and tell you that I loved you but it was too hard for me to say. We've been just friends for so long."
"I know the feeling. I've just had a lecture from Dad about not saying anything to you about how I feel."
"How did things turn out with your Father.?"
Tin-Tin had felt so worried for Alan when she saw him broken down in the lounge earlier in the evening. She had been in the kitchen preparing Dinner and didn't know what had gone on. There had been some shouting but it didn't seem to be Alan. She'd gone through the lounge room to get ready for her walk with Alan on the beach and walked in to find Jeff Tracy glaring down Scott and Virgil and Alan being ordered to his Father's bedroom in tears. She had excused herself and gone back to her Father. Obviously the walk had been unexpectedly called off and neither Jeff nor Alan came down for dinner. If Tin-Tin was concerned at what the outcome would be up in that bedroom at least she did not pace the floor like Josie and Scott did, both of them totally panic-stricken. The whole family knew that anyone who'd gone to Jeff Tracy's bedroom alone with him when they were children didn't fare very well.
Alan sat up.
"You'd need the rest of the night to hear about it."
"I've got all the time you need if you want to tell me."
His Father's words. "I was up all night with a woman."
He kissed her again. God she was beautiful and he had nearly lost her through his own stupidity. He wouldn't make that mistake again. From now on, he was going to say everything and anything about how he felt for this girl. He would no longer hold anything back.
His Fathers thoughts of his mother. "We sat on together on that bed and talked about everything and anything."
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are Tin-Tin? " he said, kissing her forehead.
"Are you telling me now?"
"Yes I am."
"I love you Alan." The words came easily now.
"I love you too Tin." he said softly.
"How long have you felt like this ?"
"You tell me first! Obviously you've loved me for much longer that I've loved you."
"That's what you think."
"That's what I know!" he said jabbing her in the ribs and tickling her
The friendship and teasing was still there. It was a relief to them both but in the back of Alan's mind...
His Father's words. "You're not joking around with the physical stuff. It's gonna happen."
Alan removed his arm from around her shoulders.
"Tell me about what happened with your Father then?" she asked, preparing to listen.
He moved uncomfortably. Best to end any risk of it happening, right now. It was his bedroom for goodness sake.
"No. I'm tired. I'll tell you about it when we walk sometime."
"All right then. I am a bit tired too. Is everything all right now?"
"I learned a lot about both my Father and myself tonight. He has a funny way of sorting my head out it but that's my Dad."
That term was actually said with endearment. Tin-Tin knew then that Jeff Tracy and his youngest son were at peace.
"By the way." he added with a grin. "I have a new name...wild-child"
"What's new about it? You are a wild-child Alan. We all know that. Good night."
She kissed him and stood up. As she put her hand on the door to leave he added,
"And I'm still waiting for my birthday present.I'm not giving up until I get it you know."
She still had her back to him gripping the door handle. She bit her lip. Would she do this? Dare she say this? What would he think of her?
Tin-Tin Kyrano did not care at this point.
She turned around to face him and her brown eyes met his blue eyes in the night light.
"Why do you think I was here tonight?" she said softly. " I wanted your birthday present to be my first time with you Alan."
Alan could not believe what he had just heard and any words of warning his Father had given him fell straight out of his head along with any common sense he had. The impulsive young man that was Alan Tracy had been offered what he'd dreamed about for years and there was no way he was going to turn it down.
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He took her hair down and planted powerful and fervent kisses down her face and neck.
Alan Tracy normally made love as he drove his racing car, fast, furious and to reach the finish line first. He'd had a lot of practice at it in college and like racing his car, he hadn't had the opportunity for a while either. All the more reason to slow down and enjoy the moment. No way. Not the son Jeff Tracy called his wild-child.
Still as she had admitted it was her first time he knew he had to be a little more considerate of her than he had been of the girls in college.
His Father's words. "She is Kyrano's daughter." made him ease back a little but it wasn't his way and it wouldn't be his way after this first time he knew.
She allowed him to draw open the robe she wore, both of them knowing that once this act was done, there would be no turning back.
No more "just friends" which they had both hidden behind. They would be lovers. This felt like leaving behind their childhood forever.
His Father's words. "Take it slow and careful."
Don't think of your Father at a time like this Alan he heard himself say, still holding himself back from his instincts.
The robe undone, he stared at what was now in front of his eyes, her beautiful naked body, everything he had always imagined it to be and he'd been imagining it since he was sixteen years old.
She looked into his eyes.
His Father's words "She is Kyrano's daughter. Not some college girl."
"Are you sure about this?" he breathed giving her one last chance to change her mind.
She was Kyrano's daughter. How many times did that voice of his Father have to run through his head. He knew that, but he was a man and she was a woman. That was all he cared about right now.
In some ways Alan didn't want them to lose their innocence together and he hadn't planned to yet. Now with her there...like this...right there in front of him, he didn't want to her to change her mind. He knew he wasn't going to be able to restrain himself if she said no now, despite his understanding that she would need special consideration this first time.
She turned to him and put one arm around his shoulder and began unbuttoning his shirt with the other. Slipping the shirt from his broad shoulders her hands went further and she encouraged him to continue with her.
"Alan... I'm sure," she whispered feeling more than a little frightened at his unexpected dominance of her. His Father seemed to be in him then, the same formidable figure.
Alan Shepherd Tracy pressed his lips to hers and touched his future wife for the first time as a man.
The first time was difficult but the second was earth shattering for them both.
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He rolled over and looked at the clock on his sideboard. The time said twenty five past five.
He lay back and thought about where the last twenty-four hours had taken him. Twenty-four hours ago he could not bring himself to talk to his father without bitterness. Twenty-four hours later they were at peace with each other. Twenty-four hours ago Gordon had woken him and kissed him on the lips. Twenty-four hours later he had woken up in bed with Tin-Tin. Twenty-four hours ago he didn't understand his feelings for her. Twenty-four hours later he had told her he loved her and made love to her twice.
He'd never had twenty-four hours quite like his birthday this year. What had Tin-Tin said?
"I'm sure you will have a wonderful birthday."
She was sure right about that!
He watched her sleeping beside him and touched her shoulder still enjoying the sensation of her body next to his.
He hoped he had been gentle enough for her first time. He had really tried to restrain himself but despite this he knew he had hurt her a bit. However, unlike in college, it at least worried him that he knew she was grimacing with discomfort under him as he felt the pleasure tear through his body.
Afterwards they had lain in each other's arms staring at each other, neither of them believing that they would have ever contemplated doing this. He stroked her hair with one hand and told her he loved her but continued to caress that beautiful body that she had surrendered to him quite unexpectedly.
"I've got one up on you now" she teased him as she ran her hands over his strong chest and taut stomach.
That had been a mistake. Tin-Tin Kyrano didn't know him well enough as a man yet. Once was never enough for Alan Tracy and she would have to learn that. His need was building again as she touched him and he began to touch her with a definite intent. Trying to curb himself he managed to say,
"What have you got on me? Us doing this? Just who can you blackmail me with about this? No-one that's who."
But he kept touching and her need started growing. He kissed her and continued.
"I know you and your Father were drinking last night and if I tell Grandma…"
She stopped mid sentence unable to continue with what she was feeling in her body.
Her need was real now. He could feel it. His own need was screaming to be satisfied and not gently this time either.
"Tin-Tin not now.." he said hovering over her again and unwilling to wait much longer.
Her body received him better the second time, which was fortunate with the demanding and brutal way that he did it. The passion he felt caused him to gasp at the height of it. He felt her body reaching the same heights. That final moment. Nothing more.
I've never felt anything like that Alan," she breathed as they fell asleep exhausted in each other's arms.
Life couldn't get much better for Alan Tracy on March 13 except one terrible sick feeling as he lay there waiting for her to awake.
His Father's words.
"You need to take the right precautions."
Alan supposed she had. His Father could keep that piece of advice. He just didn't do that sort of thing. He assumed Tin-Tin would be the one to worry about preventing the babies. After all she was the woman wasn't she?.
His Father's words. "I didn't think I was (stupid) either."
Despite Jeff Tracy's experience, things had not changed with the son he had produced.
History looked like repeating itself and time was now going to tell on that.
Her Father's words. "Be careful my daughter. I beg you."
She did not hear her Father's words in her head. She was fast asleep.
Alan heard Kyrano walking down the hall on his way to the kitchen.
He leaned over her sleeping frame and gently shook her awake.
"Tin-Tin."
She opened her eyes.
"You'll have to go now. Your Father's awake."
She sat up on her elbows and focused her tired eyes. When had they gone to sleep? Only two hours ago. She screwed up her face in obvious discomfort as her body reminded her of the forcefulness of her experience with Alan.
He went to draw her into his arms again but then thought better of it. If Kyrano was out of bed, his Grandmother would be too and Scott would soon follow. Scott was an early riser. Alan firmly believed that Scott never actually slept. That older brother of his could stay awake for over thirty six hours, so cast iron was his discipline over his mind and body.
Alan knew that both Grandma and Scott would be anxious to see what happened with his Father last night and they would be bursting in before long wanting the details. Neither of them ever knocked and Alan could imagine their reaction on seeing the two of them naked in bed together. The "just friends" line would be of no use to either of them whatsoever then and his life wouldn't be worth a pinch if Grandma caught him.
"That'd be right Alan," she laughed softly. "Love me and tell me to leave."
She pulled back the rumpled sheets and blankets and pulled on the robe that Alan had discarded to the floor. Alan looked at the body he had loved intimately with such great care the first time and such passion the second.
"Tin-Tin." he whispered. "That was the best birthday present you could ever have given me."
"I love you Alan."
"I love you too Tin-Tin."
With that she slipped out into the half dark hallway, the first light of morning dawning on Tracy island and returned to her room.
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Man to Woman
"Jeff"
"Mother"
"Is everything all right with my grandson?"
"Mother you have five grandsons."
"You know which one."
A few moments of reflection
"Yeah. We've sorted everything out."
"Is that all you're going to tell me Jeff?"
"For now."
Awkwardness.
"Jeff I want to ask you something."
"I might not answer you Mother."
"That's true I suppose but I'm going to ask you anyway."
"I don't doubt that."
Expectant.
"Is there something going on that you and Kyrano know about my grandson and Tin-Tin that you're not telling me"?
"I'm not answering that."
She knew it! Something was up and he wasn't going to let her in on it. Well two could play this game.
"I remember a certain young man once who brought a beautiful little English girl to meet me in Kansas. I knew straight away that he would marry that little girl the first time she smiled at me. That young man walked her around the farm, stared into her eyes and told her of his dreams and aspirations. Unbeknown to that certain young man both his Father and Mother were aware that on the first night at the farmhouse, he and that little English girl made love not once, but twice in the room next to us."
Jeff Tracy's cheeks reddened with disbelief. He couldn't believe after all this time he had been caught out.
"Mother you knew about that?"
"We knew all right Jeff!"
"I was so careful that night mother. We didn't make one sound. I swear."
"The walls were very thin in that farmhouse Jeff."
"Not one sound Mother. I'm telling you."
"Let me see what did Lucy say to you. I think it was "I've never felt anything like that."
His cheeks became scarlet. Lucy had whispered that right down close in his ear that very first time. They'd still been locked together when she said it to him. No-one could possibly have heard that. Where had his mother been? Under the bed or something?
"I'm glad you didn't say anything to Lucy. She would have died."
It was not over for this son of hers yet.
"I also remember a certain night that I took three little boys out to see a movie so that their Daddy could talk to his wife about business plans in Asia he hoped would change their lives forever. How I know that certain Daddy left another little boy cry for his bottle for nearly half an hour while he and that little English girl made love again in the room next to him."
"How the heck did you know that"?
"I forgot my purse and had to let myself in to get it. I knocked for ages but your baby son was crying so loudly and you were both so busy neither of you heard me come in. I had a mind to burst in on the two of you and tell you both off for leaving little Gordon to cry like that."
Jeff felt completely and totally embarrassed. He could not believe his mother knew all about the two of them. However he fondly remembered that he and Lucy had made love twice that night too. He had always made love to Lucy twice. Once was never enough for him... not with her.
Teasing complete, it was time for Josie to say something on that subject.
"I also know from the mathematics of it that you ended up with my youngest grandson as a result of that night. "
He nodded. Yes they certainly did, whether it was the first or the second time but because of it... well he didn't want to think about that any more this year.
"...And the reason for the guilt you feel in your heart about losing that little girl of yours like you did Jeff."
Silence.
"You don't have to say any more Mother. I know that you're right."
She began again.
"And all the more reason that you should listen to another story I have to tell you."
"Oh no. What other parts of my love life have you witnessed Mother?"
"I know of a certain young man who met a pretty little Malaysian girl eleven years ago. They played together as children and grew up together. He walked her around the beautiful island where they lived and he stared into her eyes and talked to her about their shared life in International Rescue. I knew when that happened that the young man was destined to marry that little girl. However, unbeknown to that young man too I am very aware, unlike his Father, that he and that little Malaysian girl made love twice last night in his room."
"Mom you've got to be damn well kidding me!"
Jeff's hair almost stood on end and his temper rose. Despite everything that he had said to that son of his last night, Alan had gone and done it anyway. Not just once but twice too! Jeff thought back to his love-making with Lucille. Always twice, every time. This son of his really did reflect his time with her.
Josie watched him with amusement.
"Now that young man's father couldn't possibly be sore at him when he acted so like his Daddy could he?"
Jeff rubbed the back of his red neck feeling quite foolish and shaking his head at the truth of her words. He couldn't get angry when he'd done the same thing himself with Lucy all those years ago.
Anyway in thinking about it, it was always going to happen with Alan and Tin-Tin he supposed. It was only a matter of when. He was lucky he had the chance to speak with him and Tin-Tin with Kyrano before it did.
He looked at his Mother hating the fact that she had the definite upper hand in this argument.
"So Mother how did you find out about them and don't tell me the walls around here are thin or you left your purse in Alan's room either because I won't believe you."
"I heard her whisper to her Father in the kitchen this morning. She is very close to him and probably thought he needed to know. And just so you know. She was very careful. I think that's what you were trying not to tell me earlier."
"Mom you are a very wise lady."
"Of course I am. I'm your mother. That is why you shouldn't feel guilty about what happened to Lucy. The son you gave her that night has grown into a fine young man who will marry Kyrano's little Tin-Tin one day and will take you both to the next stage of your life where I am now. Watching your grandchildren grow up."
"Thank you Mother."
"And finally. Don't tell Alan that you know about last night for quite a few years yet. If it's anything like you feel right now it'll be worth the wait."
Jeff Tracy's heart seemed to lift somehow as he watched that wonderful woman walk away. She had just released a twenty-year burden from his shoulders.
However the fact she knew about him and Lucy at the farmhouse really made him feel foolish.
It put him so much in Alan's shoes that he just couldn't be angry at that compulsive son of his. Jeff imagined how much Grant Tracy would have chewed him out if he had confessed to him about he did with Lucille at the farmhouse. He guessed then he wouldn't be hearing from Alan either.
Some things Fathers and sons just didn't talk about once they had happened
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Is Alan a brat or what that's what I ask? Could be another story come out of that night?
Epilogue to come -The Two Fathers Watch
