DISCLAIMER: Nope, the Matrix-verse isn't an idea of mine. But don't I wish that it was. *exasperated sigh* The quote is from a poem by Christina Rossetti called "Mirage".
Author's Notes: I was compelled to write this after seeing the first film of the Matrix trilogy. It totally rocked my world! ^_^ I root for Neo/Trinity, so if you don't like it.. You know what you can do. Also, reviews are always of the good. Write them and give me a great big happy-go-lucky moment. ^_^
SUMMARY: Takes place after the first film, will alter future Canon. Is the One really a means to an end? Neo & Trinity take a spiralling journey down to the land of pain.
Dedication: To Kirsi and Ana for their respective reasons to party hearty. ^_~ Congrats!
PROLOGUE: Omen
The
hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake,
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.
- Christina Rossetti -
I sleep restlessly here, in the real world. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the hard mattresses or the constant drone of the Nebuchadnezzar's engines, but falling asleep is gradually becoming a more and more arduos task. I toss and turn, lying awake in my cabin, staring into the impenetrable darkness surrounding me. And I wait, thinking about whatever happens to turn up inside my mind, just to waste away the early morning hours.
On occasion I hear the metallic echo of footsteps outside, as people walk past my door, and memories of my childhood come flooding back to me.
How I used to insist on keeping the lights turned off and my door closed, even though I was scared of the dark. I always felt the need to prove something to myself; that I was in control, unafraid and that I didn't need anyone to console me.
How lonely I felt back then, as a child. Always so lonely.
In my adolescent years, I used to like sleeping. It proved to be another method of escape alongside computers, that I could enjoy. I would curse the reality I could never fathom, and sleep for hours on end, lost in a world of chaos more familiar to me than my own family. Sometimes, I wished I could just fall asleep one day and never wake up.
Those dreams always felt more real to me than the memories I had of my life in the Matrix.
As I drift in and out of my slumber, I realize not much has changed after all. I'm still chasing my answers from a dreamworld. The only thing that's really changed, is that I'm not alone in my search anymore. I have Neo now..
I remember, as a child I had a lot of nightmares. Most of them had some faceless monster chasing me, as I ran for my life.
Nowadays, in my dreams, I see Neo instead. Moving through seemingly endless layers of ash grey clouds, his eyes closed, and a mask of serenity on his face. I smile as the whirling wind tousles his dark hair I've ran my fingers through a thousand times. He looks like he's sleeping; I can even follow the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Then the clouds disperse around him, revealing the spinning world below, drawing nearer by the second.
It is then, that I realize he's falling. Only then, when he's nothing more than a dark blur in my vision, a black dot in my view. In between towering buildings and skyscrapers with their mirrorlike windows, he falls with lightning speed, without anyone noticing. The impossibly tall buildings seem to bend down as he passes; grim witnesses to a human tragedy. The sunlight burns my eyes, but I refuse to blink in my disbelief.
This can't be happening.
Soon his motionless body meets the asphalt. And I watch him coming apart like a block of solid ice, unable to do anything. The realization that he's too far gone to be helped, strikes me like a hot poker through the heart.
That is when I force myself awake, in denial of the events that just took place in my dream. I sit up, my heart racing and pearls of sweat tumbling down my temples. I know my eyes are wildly searching the room for some reassurance that what I just saw, never happened. I wish he were here, in this room so that I could touch him and know that he's really there. Alive. But at the same time as I acknowledge this, I'm glad no one sees me in this state, in my moment of weakness. Least of all Neo..
When I return to my sences, I tell myself it was all just a bad dream; my deepest fears breathed into life. And yet, I notice, the more times I have that dream, the less I feel afraid.
Just like when I was a child, with all my nightmares - it seemed almost as if something in me knew that running and hiding would prove to be skills that I'd need. Skills that I couldn't afford to not master.
Now, I can feel it's happening again. I'm being prepared.
So, here's the oh-so-short prologue! There'll be more to come, with or without reviews but.. People's opinions are still very valuable to me. So do the feedback thing! I'm not even sure if any of this is making any sence to you.. ^_^ Well, better quit this nervous rant and let you get on with your lives. Thanks for bothering to read!
