DISCLAIMER: Nope, the Matrix-verse isn't an idea of mine. But don't I wish that it was. *exasperated sigh* The quote is from a poem by John Cornford called "Huesca".
Author's Notes: Nice to hear you've liked the little I've written so far. ^_^ That makes me positively giddy. Anyway, I meant to do that confusing thing where you're not sure who's the protagonist in my prologue. I'm into weird prologues, you see. Experimenting with my writing, and all that. I think the fact you made mix ups only proves how much alike Neo and Trinity really are, kinda? And yes, I have seen Reloaded, twice even. This story doesn't replace it, more like.. Takes the stuff that happens after the first film in a different direction. Not that I didn't like the direction things took in Reloaded, or anything. I just had this idea I wanted to put into use. Well, here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy!
CHAPTER 1: Nightmares
Heart
of the heartless world,
Dear heart, the thought of you
Is the pain at my side,
The shadow that chills my view.
The
wind rises in the evening,
Reminds that autumn is near.
I am afraid to lose you,
I am afraid of my fear.
- John Cornford -
"Neo..?" The name rolled off Trinity's tongue as she opened the heavy metallic door to one of the small cabins on board the Neb. Her eyes immediatly fell on the figure that lay sprawled over the narrow bed in the room, his arm supporting the flat pillow under his head. The one person she'd been looking for, her comrade in arms, the One, her lover and best friend all rolled into one. "Are you awake?" Trinity called out to Neo, more quietly this time. She really didn't want to deprive him of sound sleep, for it was a rare privilege in times of war. And Neo, if anyone, deserved his rest.
Trying to find his place in the crew, Neo had gradually began to take up more and more responsibility over the everyday routines on board the Neb, taking up his fair share of the guard shifts and maintennance of the ship. Add that up with his frequent visits to the Matrix, it all spelled out exhaustion. How he could pull it off without a word of complaint, never seized to amaze Trinity. It almost seemed as if he'd been born to the life of a soldier, easily adapting to situations that would've raised the hairs of lesser men.
Standing in the doorway, Trinity spent a moment just marveling at Neo's sleeping form. His dark hair that had already grown to the length she remembered from the first time she'd met him in the Matrix, presented a strong contrast against his ivory white, pale skin. He was handsome, in a boyish way, complete with the most dazzling pair of mahogany brown eyes she'd ever seen. His eyes though, were closed now; Trinity could see how his eyelids fluttered in restless slumber.
"Still dreaming.." She observed, and a shadow of a smile passed over her usually inexpressive face.
Languidly Trinity stepped over the treshold, and entered the room, leaving the door open behind her. She crouched down aside Neo, and took in the restful expression on his face as he slept, oblivious to Trinity's scrutinizing stare. He looked young, she thought, young and innocent. Sometimes Trinity wondered, if he'd been able to hold onto that innocence had he been unplugged as early in his life as she had been. But then again, Neo probably could've. He had a natural, bright optimism about him. Whereas she'd been hardened by life, he'd remained young at heart. Some would think it to be a weakness in a fighter, but Trinity didn't. She knew better, having seen him in combat. She envied Neo, not for who he was, but for how he was. So compassionate and naive and..
lovable.
Trinity shook off that last word with a smirk. She couldn't believe herself, sneaking into un-suspecting men's room's at night, just to gape at them. But then again this was Neo she was talking about. He probably wouldn't mind her dropping in, and she'd grown so accustomed to keeping vigil over him that it was getting hard to break the habit. She was constantly monitoring his welfare, consiously or not, and there was little she could do to stop herself. She liked watching him, especially when he was unaware of it; liked listening to the steady flow of air as he breathed.
While still plugged into the Matrix, Neo had always appeared so vulnerable to Trinity. Like the butterfly, she thought; one careless pinch had seemed all it would take to rid him of his wings. Morpheus though, had seen past that first appearance, and believed him to be the One from the start. Convinving Trinity though, had been far a more time-consuming task, as she had remained doubtful throughout the first stages of freeing the mind of this new potential. The sheer conflict between Neo's nature and his fate, had and still did, perplex her. At first she'd been too blinded by his frailty to see him for his strength. To think such a feeble, skinny creature with such kind eyes would be the One, destined to fight for the whole of humanity? Even know, when she knew him to be practically invincible in the Matrix, she couldn't stop herself from worrying about him every time he went in.
Neo made her smile, and a thing like that was simply too precious to lose in the gloom of their everyday lives.
"Sweet dreams." Trinity whispered, and reached out her fingers to trace the side of Neo's face. Unable to resist the urge, she breathed in his scent, and planted a delicate kiss on the crown of his head. He smelled a spicy mix of engine lubricants and the smoky air outside, and in it's essence, something unmistakably him. When she had been freed, one of the the first things Trinity had noticed was that smells and sounds seemed clearer somehow, sharper than she'd remembered from the Matrix. Or maybe here, in the real world, she simply payed more attention to things she'd taken for granted in the earlier years of her life.
Pulling back to leave, Trinity grabbed a washed-out blue blanket, and layed it over Neo, as she'd noticed his skin had felt cool. The blanket was sure to do little to keep him warm, but it was all she had to offer for the time being. She was already late, so spooning would have to wait. Trinity turned on her feet, eager to leave the room, but cast a final glance in Neo's direction as she heard him stir on the bed. "..T-trinity?" He mumbled in his sleep, finally sencing a presence in the room.
The sight of his drowzy appearance caused Trinity's lips to curl up to a slight smile. He looked cute, with his sleepy eyes and tousled hair. "You need to rest." She responded in a nonchalant voice. Sometimes she regretted the way she spoke to him, never betraying emotion. But it was the only way she knew how to talk, which Neo probably knew and understood. Trinity held her awkward pose for a few more seconds, struggling to blurt out the words it had taken her ages to confess.
I love you. You hear me? I love you.
Instead, she forced her eyes to shift from Neo to the open door, and took a cautious step towards it. Her inability to speak those words to him while he was, well, concious, left her embarrassed and she wanted out before Neo would pick it up. Besides, what she had intended to be a quick glance had already extended into a full quarter of an hour. If she didn't show up to the main deck on this very minute, Tank would have her head. Regardless of the woman in love excuse.
"Where are you going?" Neo asked, his voice somewhat hoarse from sleep. He was still lingering in the haze between sleep and awakening, but there was no mistaking the silent plea in his gaze. An utterly focused and demanding 'Why'.
"I have the graveyard shift." Trinity replied nervously, referring to the earliest guard shift of the day, which began at midnight and ended at dawn. "Just thought I'd check in on you on my way over."
"Oh. Do you.. want some company?" Neo offered. "I don't feel like sleeping."
Trinity glanced at him over her shoulder, at his rumpled clothing and the blanket he was still clutching around his shoulders. "Alright." She smiled, a mischievous sparkle in her liquid blue eyes.
* * * * * * *
"You're late." Tank stated flatly, leaning against the doorframe to the Neb's cockpit. "If I'm not mistaken, you were supposed to relieve me half an hour ago." There was a hint of irritation in his voice, along with the obvious weariness.
"Things turned up." Trinity explained coolly.
"I'll bet." Tank snorted in annoyance, and glanced behind Trinity at the One who was currently studying the exposed machinery around the catwalk there, seeming a bit too interested of it all. Tank could tell the man was trying his damnest not to eavesdrop on their conversation. "I'll bet your 'thing' was big smoochies with boy wonder over there."
"I didn't think I owed you a detailed report." Trinity answered rigidly.
"Sorry Trin. Bad day at the office." Tank apologized with a sigh, and rubbed his tired eyes. "So anyway, you sure you're up to this? Can't remember the last time you volunteered for this shift. I thought you warrior types wanted your beaty sleep."
"I felt like taking a shift." Trinity explained, a quiver of emotion in her eyes.
"Oh yeah?" Tank raised a brow. Usually, the ones who handled the late night and early morning shifts were classic insomniacs. Cypher had been one.. Tank's jaw clenched unwittingly as he thought of the man who was responsible for the deaths of four people from their ship, including Tank's big brother Dozer. So much had been lost because of Cypher's deceit, and all it had amounted to was pain. His name was never mentioned anymore, it was as though he'd seized to exist in the minds of the few that had survived. Such was the way of the real world, one must always keep one's eyes on the path that lies ahead. Cypher couldn't hack it here, couldn't cope with the reality. Forgot to always walk on and never look back.
"Tank.." Trinity sighed, to emphasize her dislike of the direction their conversation was taking.
"You've been having trouble sleeping, haven't you?" Tank guessed, and noticed another ripple in the icy blue of Trinity's eyes. Only for a brief second, they darted over to Neo, as though to check whether or not he was within hearing range. Tank could've sworn he heard a sigh of relief pass Trinity's lips as she saw him standing quite a distance away with his back turned to her.
"So have you." Trinity pointed out with a characteristic firmness to her voice.
Tank just gave her a look. "We all have to cut back on the sleeping scene, these days." He said, "And you know that's not what I meant."
"It's nothing." Trinity's eyes bore into Tank, as though to further convince him that everything was in order. "I can handle it."
"Nah, I dunno about that." Tank muttered under his breath, turning his eyes away from Trinity's icy glare. Something was definately bothering her, and she definately didn't want to talk about it. Never one for support groups, their Trinity. "Neo gonna keep you company?"
"Yes." Trinity's eyes seemed to melt at the mention of the notorious One, but they soon returned to their usual, impassive glow.
"I can see a whole a lot of surveillance going on in that scenario." Tank snorted, and crossed his arms over his chest. Something was up with Trinity, and the fact she refused to talk about it made all the little alarm bells go off in Tank's head. Ever since the 'incident' before, he had sworn he'd keep a closer eye on everyone with unresolved issues. Trinity, at the moment, scored high marks in that area. And whatever it was, Tank was sure, it had to do with Neo. Neo the One, Neo the destined to save the world One. Add it up, it all said: watch out here comes big ugly danger.
"If you've got something to say about it, I suggest you take it to Morpheus." Trinity spoke, her voice lacking it's usual demanding boom.
"Now do you really want me to do that?" Tank raised his brow, and chuckled. He couldn't help conjuring up the image of Morpheus, the father figure, lecturing to Neo and Trinity about the facts of life. It was ridiculous, but it helped him to shake off the feeling of impending doom he could still feel reverberating from Trinity. "Nah, I'm happy for you. You guys deserve a little alone time."
"This isn't.. I have guard duty until 0600 hours."
"Yeah, whatever you say." Tank grinned, "Just remember, my chair is off limits for necking!" He warned in a joking tone.
Trinity was too used to living with men to react to his merciless teasing, and merely watched as Tank dragged his feet along the catwalk towards the crew members' cabins. Neo though, seemed awfully interested of the nearest wall as Tank made his way past a goofy grin plastered on his face.
That big jerk, Trinity smiled to herself. She had missed Tank; the person he had once been, before the day it all went wrong. The pure horror of that afternoon still made her blood run cold, and she knew she wasn't the only one. Even though Trinity hadn't suffered a loss like Tank had, she still felt a connection to him through their mutual experience. It was amazing, how people could overcome losses, even if they did change as a result of it. Sometimes Trinity thought, what would've become of her, should Cypher have had the chance to pull that next plug.
Sometimes, in her dreams, she saw Neo falling endlessly towards the floor of that TV-repair shop, his mouth shaped around her name like a prayer for salvation. And in the background, sounded the mocking tune of a ringing phone. For her, because survival in the end.. wasn't it the ultimate punishment?
"Oh yeah," Tank turned on his heels, almost at an entrance to a hallway. "Morpheus wants to see you.. ASAP, he said." Trinity merely nodded back in affirmative, before watching their operator disappear behind the corner there.
"What's that all about?" Neo asked her, a curious look in his eyes.
"Maybe nothing." Trinity answered him, ever mysterious, and turned for the cockpit. She'd need to stay on the lookout for Sentinels, even though they were unlikely to turn up to such a remote location.
"Oh yeah? I have a feeling something's going on." Neo cleared his throat as he sat down aside Trinity on the next free chair.
"You're just paranoid, Neo." Trinity whispered, doing a quick scan of the area with the help of a computer-operated radar. It showed nothing, whatever that meant. Ever since the war, people had become wary about trusting machines, and Trinity made no acception to the rule. Her eyes immediatly fell on the view which spread through the windshield of the ship. Sentinels were hardly into skulking around; they would make their presence known should they be close, but Trinity felt the need to occupy her mind with this mundane task.
"Comes with the territory, I guess." Neo responded in a quiet voice, and he too began searching the barren scenery for any movement. He looked focused, wearing that very expression Trinity often saw him use in the battle-field. Eighty procent concentration, twenty procent excitement. A part of him would always love this, she supposed. Before, during his life in the Matrix, Neo had no doubt seeked a meaning for it all just like she had. A purpose. And what he had discovered, about himself especially, must have been intoxicating.
To come from being nobody, to suddenly being the sole hope of the resistance? Quite the mindjob, Trinity thought. It was amazing though, Neo never became arrogant or proud. If anything, he appeared modest and cautious in battle, not wanting to take any unnecesessary risks. Never wanting to compromise the lives of others to enjoy what he was born to do.
"Neo.." Trinity began, drawing his attention back to herself.
"What?" He asked.
That damned innocent expression. Trinity gritted her teeth. "I.. These last few weeks.."
"Yeah?" Neo spoke again, waiting anxiously for an answer.
Trinity stared into the depths of his eyes, mesmerized by the reflections in them, by the way they weren't afraid of direct contact with hers. The two soldiers looked at each other, never blinking or re-averting their gaze. Unlike her own eyes, which Trinity knew portrayed a frightening lack of emotion, Neo's eyes always seemed so soft and understanding. Some would see it as ignorance, denial of fact, but there was a difference - a layer all of them missed. Just by looking at him, she felt she could tap into a flow of sincere feeling and energy inside him, and there was nothing simple or ignorant about that.
"I've been having dreams." She finally told him, allowing her weariness and sadness to creep into her voice. For what reason, she wasn't sure. Burdening Neo, becoming an obstacle in his way, was the last thing Trinity wanted. But on this moment, in the safe haven of this private space, she wanted to tell him. Wanted him to console her, for he was the only one that could.
"What kind of dreams?" Again, that innocent, childlike tone. Almost as if he already knew, but was testing whether or not she would tell him the truth.
"Nightmares." Trinity whispered, her voice so low it was barely audible. But Neo's ears caught her words without effort.
"What about?" Neo asked, swallowing as he leant closer for privacy. "Me?"
Trinity nodded as an answer, her eyes remaining in contact with his. "They always end the same way." She spoke, and reached out her fingers to interlace with his. She drew in her breath, already hesitating about telling him all there was to this secret. "You seem unaware at first.. Sleeping or turned the other way.."
"And?" Neo asked. There was pain in his eyes, she swore; it was like he already knew.
"Neo.." Trinity heaved a sigh, and lowered her eyes to the floor. How do you tell the man you love, you dream about watching him die the most horrible, brutal ways imaginable? Dreams, that feel so real a part of you never expects you to be able to wake up? "It's nothing. Really, they're just dreams."
"Yeah, but that's not what you think, is it?" Neo lifted her chin, looking at her from so close their noses scraped against each other.
She looked back at him, her eyes wide like those of an animal in front of an oncoming car. "Later, we'll talk.. Later." She whispered, letting her eyes droop slowly shut. Though not from fatique. "There's time."
"Are you sure?" She heard a velvety voice speak in her ear, and felt his hot breath at the side of her throat.
"Yes."
Even with her eyes closed, she could feel him nearing her, as the heat radiating from his skin became a fever on her skin. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to whimper at the feel of their lips brushing against each other. It was a brief, feather light touch, charged with an electricity that left her lips tingling for more. A breath passed between them, two mingling currents of hot, moist air, until their lips met again, cautiously at first.
Trinity lifted her fingers, oblivious, and wrapped them around the back of Neo's head. Through her fingers, that clutched him to her, she could feel his warmth, and the muscles and bone just beneath the skin. "Uh.." He moaned, his other hand running through her hair and the other, down her back. They stood there, Neo with his back against a wall, Trinity yielding into his body, eyes closed as they enjoyed the rush the mere human contact provided. Neither noticed where they were or how they'd gotten there, nor did they care to know. All that mattered was the kiss.
Their lips sought each other with an increasing fervour, passion that blinded them to the world. The war, the Matrix, for that moment they were all but a wildly spinning background to a feeling. A feeling so over-powering, so drowning, neither of them could stop thirsting for more.
* * * * * * *
"Ah Trinity." Morpheus nodded, a pleased look on his face. "Glad you could make it." He said, his lips curling up to reveal a row of white teeth. "Late, as you may be.."
"Tank told me you were looking for me. Any particular reason why?" Trinity assumed a comfortable pose in the middle of the Captains Quarters. It was a big room, but Morpheus' persona filled it so perfectly, she'd always felt awkward to enter. Everywhere she looked, she saw little touches of him, the bookcases lined up against the walls, the antiques on the spaceous computer desk. Morpheus stood by the door, at an angle to her, and it made her feel cornered, on the defence somehow.
"I'm afraid it's.. work related. I received a curious request yesterday afternoon, and it has taken me until now to decode it. I would like to hear your opinion of it, as the second in command officer on this ship." Morpheus wandered across the room to his computer, and sat down on the crooked looking metallic chair in front of it.
"What does it say?" Trinity asked, realizing he wasn't about to open a text-file for her to read as she'd expected, but instead just sat there with an apologetic look on his face.
"We'll get to that." Morpheus turned his back on her, twirling round to face the code of the Matrix running down the monitor of his computer. "Now, the more relevant question for you to ask is where the message came from."
"Then who sent it?" Trinity asked, clenching her fists till her knuckles were coloured bone white. Why all the secrecy? Why the private counsil? Questions spun round and round in her mind, adding fuel to her anxiety.
"It's a short message, just a passage or two.. signed with the sender tags of the Ananke." Morpheus glanced at Trinity, his eyes sober and his expression stern.
"But.. That's impossible." Trinity uttered.
"My thoughts precisely. But the tags are correct. According to my sources, the message was sent from aboard that ship." Morpheus nodded, concearn marring his forehead.
"But the Ananke was destroyed three month's ago." Trinity brushed her hair back in disbelief. "They said there was nothing left of it, no survivors."
"And a message in our time, hardly takes three months to pass onto it's destination." Morpheus added with a frown.
"The machines?" Trinity fell back on the only logic explanation. The machines might have somehow gotten hold of the equipment on board before destroying the ship, they might've somehow been able to send a message with that equipment.. But it was all a one big maybe. Why would the machines go through the trouble in the first place, to set up an obvious trap?
"I thought of it too.. But the information, some details, some.." Morpheus' eyes strayed from Trinity to the floor. "References.. It just doesn't add up."
"What does it say?" Trinity stepped closer, her eyes meeting Morpheus' with a defiance he had never seen before. "Morpheus, you have to tell me what's in that message."
Yep. It's a cliffhanger boys and girls! My favourite way to end a chapter. ^_^ I'm rather pleased with this one, but I'd love to hear what you thought of it. I probably shoulda worked on the dialogue some more, but that can't be helped. Might'a only gotten worse.. Who knows. BTW, I'm aware Tank is a total mess of OOC:ness. Just decided this story needs some comic relief, ergo the talk. Try to bear with my somewhat bizarre sence of humour. Witty banter makes me giggle.
