Chapter 4

Lilly and Snape sit on the sofa side by side, looking at Sirius with sheer curiosity, wondering of what Sirius will tell them about.

"Lilly, Snape, don't be mad or something all right?"

Lilly and Snape frown. "Mad about what?" Snape asks.

Sirius eyes him warily. "Well, for messing up with your life, maybe?"

"Messing up how? What are you talking about, Black?" 

Taking a deep breath, Sirius confesses, "Harry is in love with you, Snape. But I told him that you already have a lover."

Lilly almost faints. Snape's jaw suddenly drops open.  

"Sorry," Sirius mumbles, unable to meet his friends' eyes. "I really thought it was for the best, but then Harry fell into a kind of depression."

"How… how can he fall in love me?" Snape stutters.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe he saw you as a knight in shining armor or something. After all, you saved his life countless of times."

 "Indeed," Snape raises his eyebrows.  

"Look, we cannot lie to each other here, at least not in such a serious matter. Besides, how can you explain the fact that you felt his coming and not one of us?"

Lilly narrows her eyes. "And why did you think Severus would ruin Harry's life, Sirius?"

"Gosh, Lilly! Snape's forty and Harry's sixteen. Not to mention the truth that this man is, was, such a bastard. And he's a Death Eater."

"Those are old excuses, Sirius." Lilly scolds her friend coldly.

"I admit I was wrong, okay? Now, we better think of something for Harry than quarrelling over our past."

Lilly glares at Sirius for a minute then nods. "Fine."

Sirius exhales. He turns to Snape and asks, "Do you know what happened to Harry, Snape?"

Snape takes a deep breath before answering, "He was captured by Death Eaters. I tried to save him, but they killed me first. I think he must have suffered some horrible things before they were done with him."

"Oh, God." Lilly covers her face with her hands.

Silence reigns. All of them are frightened by the images of Harry being tortured by the Death Eaters. Lilly starts to cry silently, Sirius wraps his arms around his friend, comforting her. Snape sits rigid on his couch, being the most frightened of them all since he knows what exactly Death Eaters can do to their victims. He fervently wishes that James will return soon, with good news from the so called Guardian.

James indeed returns soon, and with him, Remus. (Surprise, surprise, Snape thinks) Their facial expressions are grim when they enter the living room. James occupies a place next to his wife while Remus sits on Sirius's armchair. Having taken a deep breath, James speaks, "Harry is suffering shell shock. He will recover, but he'll need someone to help him."

"Who?" asks Lilly with red eyes. She has let herself go from Sirius and now she is reclining to her husband, who immediately circles his arm around his wife.

"I will," answers Remus.

"Why you?" asks Sirius, curious.

"The rest of you are too involved with Harry to be able to help him."

James nods in understanding. Lilly is resting her head on her husband's shoulder. "We failed Harry," she whispers.

No one speaks for some time, wallowing in self guilt for failing the boy they love so deeply. Snape wants to argue that no one is guilty in the room, that it is Voldemort who must be blamed for all the misfortune that has fallen upon Harry and the rest of them, but he changes his mind at the last minute, thinking that they already know the truth. "We better check on Harry," he says. The rest of them nod.

Sirius leads the way to the chamber where they have left Harry to sleep earlier. They find the boy is still sleeping soundly. Remus sits beside the boy and caresses his hair. "He will be fine," he whispers, as not to awaken Harry.

"Do you know what happened to him?"

"Yes, Severus. I've been told about everything that has happened to him."   

"What? What have they done to him?" asks Lilly, who is almost  crying again. She is a strong woman, but seeing her only child in such condition is enough to break the heart of the strongest of woman.

"I don't think you need to know the details. Suffice to say that he'll need all our love and support." Remus shifts the pillow to make Harry more comfortable, but the gesture awakens the boy. Harry moans softly and opens his eyes.

"Professor Lupin?" he asks, blinking a few times.

"Remus, Harry. I am not your teacher anymore," Remus smiles.

Harry nods. He sits and looks around. He sees his father and mother looking at him with love and concern, just like what he saw in the Mirror of Erised years ago. He also sees Sirius, and Snape. He looks away quickly.

"Where am I?" he asks, feeling stupid, for he already knows the answer. He knows that he's dead and this is afterlife. He still vaguely remembers  awakening in the middle of the forest in a shocked state. Then someone had found him and carried him here.

"You are in our house," answers James, smiling at his son.

"Hi, Harry," Lilly sits beside Remus. "We've missed you."

"I miss you too, Mom, Dad," he whispers.

Lilly want to hug her boy so much, but restrains herself, fearing that she will scare her boy. She smiles at her son and strokes Harry's palm affectionately. Harry flinches a little. Lilly stops the ministration abruptly.

"I am sorry," Harry says, feeling angry at himself for acting so stupid in front of his parents. He has wished for a long time to be able to meet his parents again, to have his mom and dad hug him, but now when he gets his wishes, he cannot stand even the slightest touch.

"It's okay, Harry," Remus says, smiling reassuringly. He casts a meaningful look to Sirius, who nods almost imperceptibly.

"We better let you rest a while, okay, Harry? We'll be outside if you need us." Sirius waves toward his godson smilingly and goes out, grabbing Snape's hand on the way out.

James touches Lilly's shoulder as he too, excuses himself. "We'll be outside too, Harry. I am sure your mom wants to prepare her famous cookies for you."

Lilly smiles to her son. "See you."

"See you mom, dad."

*************

Harry feels puzzled of why Remus stays. He is truly grateful that there is someone with him, for he doesn't want to be alone, although the room is bright and comfortable. But why Remus?

His former teacher seems to have ability to read his mind, because before Harry asks something, he already answers,"You must be wondering why I stay."

 "Yeah." Harry looks at Remus, who is pouring a glass of water and hands it to Harry. "Thanks."

"Your welcome. Anyway, I am here to keep you company. I bet you don't feel like being left alone right now."

"No."

"And I want to help you."

"Help me?"

"Yes, Harry. You have had a terrible trauma."

Harry looks away. Oh God, Harry thinks, Remus knows. He bits down his lower lip which starts to tremble as the memory resurfaces. He pushes away the memory harshly, feeling ashamed for being so coward and cry-baby. His hands squeeze the sheet of the bed so hard it almost tears the fabric.

"Harry, there is nothing to be ashamed of," Remus says patiently. Harry doesn't respond. Thinking it is too early to press the issue, Remus lets it go. "Severus is worried, you know," he says, changing the subject.

"He is?" Harry blushes a little. He knows that Sirius must have told Remus about him falling for Snape, but he feels rather shy nonetheless.

"Yes." Remus smiles one of his Marauder-like smiles. "He likes you, you know."

"No!"

"He is," says Remus confidently.                      

 "But he already has…"

Remus raises an eyebrow. "Has what? A boyfriend? Nah, Sirius  made that up so you'd give up on Severus."

Harry stares at his glass, doesn't know what to think. He feels like strangling Sirius for lying to him, but part of him understands that Sirius meant well. Besides, having a boyfriend or no, Snape is still out of his reach. With Snape as his teacher and all, it is not possible. Well, Snape is not his teacher anymore. But Snape can't like such an "impudent brat" like Harry, can he? Apparently, according to Remus, he can.

"Don't think too much, Harry."

"Do mom and dad know?"

"Maybe, but they won't mind."

"Really? They won't mind I fall in love with one of my *male* teachers? Snape, of all people?"

"Of course not! Besides, he's no longer your teacher." Remus winks. Harry blushes again. Oh, this is so embarrassing, the boy thinks. He empties his glass and put it on the nightstand.

"Do you still want to sleep? Or do you want to talk?" Remus asks.

Well, sleep is a lot better alternative for now, Harry thinks. It's not that he doesn't trust Remus, but the pain of the memory is still too new, too raw. And he doesn't want to keep blushing when they talk about Snape. "I want to sleep a while," he says.

"Okay, we can talk later," says Remus. He tucks Harry in and kisses his forehead, earning a puzzled look from his best friend's son for he has never show this kind of affection before. The former werewolf merely smiles at Harry's bewildered look. "Do you want me to leave?" he asks.

"Stay, please," Harry says, unconsciously gripping Remus' hand. Realizing what he has done, Harry abruptly releases Remus' hand.

"Then I'll take a nap on the sofa there."

Remus lie on the sofa, staring to the ceiling, weighing, thinking and considering how he can help Harry. Harry too, cannot sleep. He keeps stealing a glance at Remus, afraid that his company will be gone if he  closes his eyes. Eventually, both of them fall asleep, though neither of them enjoy peaceful rest.

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A/N: Thanks for Pandora for beta reading. And sorry for the long delay. Thanks for those who review and put me on their favorite list. I am so flattered! *huggles all*