Xander took little notice of his surroundings as he made his way toward home after the first official Scooby meeting since Buffy's return. After the obligatory hugs and 'welcome homes' had been passed around, the boy found himself sitting on the staircase far away from the gang. He tried to be happy that Buffy had returned. He knew that it was for the greater good. But, no matter how hard he tried, Xander could feel nothing but resentment and misery.



Shuffling his feet as he walked through a deserted park, Xander idly wondered what Spike was doing at that moment. //Probably walking Buffy and Dawn home// he mused. //It's not like she can't take care of herself.// He knew he wasn't being fair. He knew in his heart that Spike just wanted the woman he loves to be safe. However, it wasn't lost on Xander that he was walking home alone. No one to help him if he ran into trouble.



That thought brought Xander out of his funk enough to notice that he was being followed. Tensing when he realized that his pursuer was closing in on him, he pulled a stake out of his shirtsleeve and spun to face his would-be attacker.



"Woah! Watch where you point that thing, Xan!" Spike stopped just short of having a hole gouged into his flesh. "Your angle's all wrong, anyway. Would've staked me in the shoulder."



"Would have hurt like a bitch though, wouldn't it?" Xander slipped the stake back into its hiding place and sighed. "What do you want Spike? I thought you'd be making sure Buffy doesn't need her boots polished or something."



"Xan, don't be li..."



Xander's head shot up and he glared at Spike. "Don't be like what, Spike?! Don't be like a lover scorned?! Don't act as if my heart was torn in two? Come on, Spike...answer me! Don't be like what?!" The boy could hardly breathe, he was so upset, but he refused to break down in front of his ex-lover again. He'd let Spike know that he was angry. But he would never reveal how unbelievable hurt he was.



The vampire wasn't sure what he should say. Or if he should even speak at all. He had known Xander was going to hurt by his leaving, but he didn't have a clue that it would be this bad. //Hoped he would just let it go. Might have made it easier on both of us.//



Spike knew that look in the boy's eyes. He'd seen it the day they had watched Anya and Buffy's coffins lowered into the ground. Knew he'd had the same look on his own face as he watched from under the nearby trees. But they had helped each other passed that, hadn't they? Brought back that spark and enjoyment of life (and unlife) in each other's arms.



Then, with a few words... Spike had taken that all away.



//Did what I had to do, didn't I?// The blonde felt he had done the right thing. For himself, for Buffy and for Xander. //Then why do this feel so bad??//



Xander stood there waiting for Spike to say something... anything. When it became obvious that the vampire was not going to answer him, the brunette turned around to walk away.



Calling over his shoulder he called behind him, "Just let me be, Spike. You have what you want now. She needs you. You need her. So leave me out of it."



And, once again, Spike watched as the young man who had become so important to him walked away. Again.