Now that Padmé was gone, everyone was bored.
Anakin: I'm bored.
Leah: me too.
Tina: Ditto.
Obi-Wan: *sings* WE COULD BE HEEEEEERRRROOOOEEEESSSSS!!!!
Everyone: *stares*
Obi-Wan: *still singing* Just for ooooooneee daaaaaayyyy!!!
Qui-Gon: YAY! *sings* You.. You will be meeeaaan!!
Obi-Wan: *giggly singing* No, I won't!
Qui-Gon: *Singing* and I.. I'll drink all the time!!
Obi-Wan: *singing* WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOO-
Tina: STOP!!! STOP!!!! *rocks back and fourth covering eyes*
Anakin: *looks horrified* MMM! *twitches*
Yoda: *dances* Good, that was!
Leah: *sings* Weeee caaaan't do thaaaaaat!!
Tina: NOO! *runs over and clamps a hand over Leah's mouth* Do NOT get them started!!
Obi-Wan: WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOOOVERS!!! And that's a fact!
Anakin: Mmmm!!! *shudders*
Vader: *sings* No nothing, will keep us TOGEEEEETHER!!!
Tina: STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!!! *runs off screaming 'STOP!!' on top of lungs*
Anakin: *Fetal position* I am SCARRED for LIFE!!!
Obi-Wan: *does Cancan and sings* 'Cause we Can-can-can!!'
Anakin: STOP!!!!!!! *runs after Tina screaming "I DIDN'T HEAR IT!!!!"*
Shmi: *blinks* Well.. That's not something I want to see again! *shudders*
Leah: Wait. Obi-Wan, how did you manage to do the Cancan while tied up?
Obi-Wan: I am talented!
Leah: No, you're not! Look what I can do! *eats a whole can of Cheese Whiz*
Obi-Wan: Whoa.. *eyes grow wide*
Vader: Hey! Let's have a talent show!!!
Tina and Anakin come running back
Tina: YEAH!!!
Anakin: WHOO!
...a few hours later
There is a very. hand made stage, with curtains. Audiences of Ewoks sit in the chairs before the stage, and the judges were Mace Windu, Casey Conner (From 'The Faculty'), and little Anakin from TPM. The curtains pull, and Shmi is holding a microphone and a piece of paper.
Shmi: Our first talent will be presented by Yoda! Yoda will be. doing a rap!!
The audience cheers, claps, and yubs. The Curtain is drawn again, and Yoda is standing by the microphone. But he is a lot shorter than the it, so he snaps his fingers, and Tina pushes out a pair of high-heeled platforms. Yoda happily puts them on.
Yoda: Sunscreen, good. No sunscreen, bad! Rest of advice, based on years of Jedi Teaching experience, yes! This advice, I dispense, now!
Rappish music begins to play in background.
Yoda: *singing while dancing* Enjoy, the power, and beauty of da Force.
Audience: Boo!!!! Yub!!! *throws Assassin Bottles*
Yoda: AHH! Assassin Bottles!! *runs*
Shmi comes back on stage
Shmi: Okay.. Judges.. What do you give Yoda da Rapist?
Mace Windu: He like, totally sucked! Ya know! *chews gum noisily* I give him a 2!
Casey Conner: well, he has potential, and was an amusing subject to photograph, and he didn't have any aliens in his head.. *gulps* I hope.. So I'll give him a 4!
Audience: BOO! YUB!
Casey: *shrugs* Fine, a three.
Little Anakin: I think he was cool! I wish I could rap like that!! So I give him a 7!
Audience: Aww! Yub!!!
Shmi: Okay.. Yoda averages out to a 4.1!
Audience: Um. Yub!?
Shmi: yeah.. okay.. Next is Anakin..
Little Anakin: WHAT!?
Shmi: um. OLDER Anakin! And he will be.. Modeling!!
Anakin walks out wearing a trench coat.
Audience: *stares*
Anakin pulls of trench coat, revealing a puffy winter jacket, and even puffier winter snow pants. The music 'So Sexy!' plays in background.
Anakin: This is my winter wear! It can bear even the harshest snows of Hoth!
He pulls of winter wear to reveal a belly shirt and hip hugger blue jeans.
Anakin: This is my trendy wear! Irresistible to even the worst Anakin- haters there are!
Audience: ..Yub?
He pulls of his trendy wear. Underneath is a skimpy bikini top and boy-cut bottom.
Anakin: This is my swim wear! Any sex can wear this! Because of the top and the boy-cutness of the bottom, it won't reveal!
Audience: *blinks*
Anakin: And.. Yeah. *goes backstage again*
Shmi: Um. that was. interesting. Judges?
Mace: I would like, look totally better in that belly shirt than him like, any day! So I give him like, a 4, for ugliness!
Little Anakin: HEY!
Casey Conner: It was okay, at first, but after the winter wear, it just got.. Disturbing. So I'll have to give him a 5.
Little Anakin: I was HOT! So. 10!!
Audience: *is scarred for life* Yub..? *twitch*
Anakin runs back on stage
Anakin: AHH! IT'S MINI ME!!!!
Little Anakin: AHH! IT'S. um. NOT-SO-MINI ME!
Shmi: Erm.. Yeah. so, average is 6.1!
Anakin: WHOO! AHH! *gets shoved offstage*
Shmi: yeah.. *coughs* Next and last will be. oh NO! A duet between Obi-Wan and Vader!?! That's just.. wrong! *shudder*
Vader and Obi-Wan walk on. Vader is wearing the pink fluffy dress again, and Obi-Wan is wearing a suit.
Obi-Wan: *singing* Never knew, I could feeeeeeel like this! Like I've never seen the skyyyyyy before. Wanna vanish, inside your kiss, everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heeeeart can you heeeeeeeaaaaar it sings..
..A few minutes later
Both Vader and Obi: COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY!!!! COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY! IIII WIIIIILLLL LOOOOOVE YOOOOU! UNTILLLL MY DYYYYYIIIIIINNNNG DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Audience: *is shuddering and twitching* YUB! WAAAAH!
Shmi: Um.. Um.. *shudder* yeah... judges?
Mace: *chew gum* I am speechless.. *faints*
Casey: *whines* um. 3, whatever! LEMME OUT OF HEAR! *runs*
Little Anakin: I NEVER want to here my soon-to-be Master sing again! So.. A 1!
Shmi: Well, that averages out to 2! Anakin is our Winner! I need to go now.. Bye! *faints*
...a few hours later
the stage is gone, and so is the audience. Anakin is holding a hand made trophy, and modeling his Jedi Robes.
Tina: Hey, Anakin, let's do a duet!
Anakin: Okay!!
Tina: I was meant for lovin' you baby you were meant for lovin' me!
Leah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tina: FINE! *pouts*
Anakin: I'm bored.
Leah: me too.
Tina: Ditto.
Obi-Wan: *sings* WE COULD BE HEEEEEERRRROOOOEEEESSSSS!!!!
Everyone: *stares*
Obi-Wan: *still singing* Just for ooooooneee daaaaaayyyy!!!
Qui-Gon: YAY! *sings* You.. You will be meeeaaan!!
Obi-Wan: *giggly singing* No, I won't!
Qui-Gon: *Singing* and I.. I'll drink all the time!!
Obi-Wan: *singing* WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOO-
Tina: STOP!!! STOP!!!! *rocks back and fourth covering eyes*
Anakin: *looks horrified* MMM! *twitches*
Yoda: *dances* Good, that was!
Leah: *sings* Weeee caaaan't do thaaaaaat!!
Tina: NOO! *runs over and clamps a hand over Leah's mouth* Do NOT get them started!!
Obi-Wan: WEE SHOULD BE LOOOOOOOVERS!!! And that's a fact!
Anakin: Mmmm!!! *shudders*
Vader: *sings* No nothing, will keep us TOGEEEEETHER!!!
Tina: STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!!! *runs off screaming 'STOP!!' on top of lungs*
Anakin: *Fetal position* I am SCARRED for LIFE!!!
Obi-Wan: *does Cancan and sings* 'Cause we Can-can-can!!'
Anakin: STOP!!!!!!! *runs after Tina screaming "I DIDN'T HEAR IT!!!!"*
Shmi: *blinks* Well.. That's not something I want to see again! *shudders*
Leah: Wait. Obi-Wan, how did you manage to do the Cancan while tied up?
Obi-Wan: I am talented!
Leah: No, you're not! Look what I can do! *eats a whole can of Cheese Whiz*
Obi-Wan: Whoa.. *eyes grow wide*
Vader: Hey! Let's have a talent show!!!
Tina and Anakin come running back
Tina: YEAH!!!
Anakin: WHOO!
...a few hours later
There is a very. hand made stage, with curtains. Audiences of Ewoks sit in the chairs before the stage, and the judges were Mace Windu, Casey Conner (From 'The Faculty'), and little Anakin from TPM. The curtains pull, and Shmi is holding a microphone and a piece of paper.
Shmi: Our first talent will be presented by Yoda! Yoda will be. doing a rap!!
The audience cheers, claps, and yubs. The Curtain is drawn again, and Yoda is standing by the microphone. But he is a lot shorter than the it, so he snaps his fingers, and Tina pushes out a pair of high-heeled platforms. Yoda happily puts them on.
Yoda: Sunscreen, good. No sunscreen, bad! Rest of advice, based on years of Jedi Teaching experience, yes! This advice, I dispense, now!
Rappish music begins to play in background.
Yoda: *singing while dancing* Enjoy, the power, and beauty of da Force.
Audience: Boo!!!! Yub!!! *throws Assassin Bottles*
Yoda: AHH! Assassin Bottles!! *runs*
Shmi comes back on stage
Shmi: Okay.. Judges.. What do you give Yoda da Rapist?
Mace Windu: He like, totally sucked! Ya know! *chews gum noisily* I give him a 2!
Casey Conner: well, he has potential, and was an amusing subject to photograph, and he didn't have any aliens in his head.. *gulps* I hope.. So I'll give him a 4!
Audience: BOO! YUB!
Casey: *shrugs* Fine, a three.
Little Anakin: I think he was cool! I wish I could rap like that!! So I give him a 7!
Audience: Aww! Yub!!!
Shmi: Okay.. Yoda averages out to a 4.1!
Audience: Um. Yub!?
Shmi: yeah.. okay.. Next is Anakin..
Little Anakin: WHAT!?
Shmi: um. OLDER Anakin! And he will be.. Modeling!!
Anakin walks out wearing a trench coat.
Audience: *stares*
Anakin pulls of trench coat, revealing a puffy winter jacket, and even puffier winter snow pants. The music 'So Sexy!' plays in background.
Anakin: This is my winter wear! It can bear even the harshest snows of Hoth!
He pulls of winter wear to reveal a belly shirt and hip hugger blue jeans.
Anakin: This is my trendy wear! Irresistible to even the worst Anakin- haters there are!
Audience: ..Yub?
He pulls of his trendy wear. Underneath is a skimpy bikini top and boy-cut bottom.
Anakin: This is my swim wear! Any sex can wear this! Because of the top and the boy-cutness of the bottom, it won't reveal!
Audience: *blinks*
Anakin: And.. Yeah. *goes backstage again*
Shmi: Um. that was. interesting. Judges?
Mace: I would like, look totally better in that belly shirt than him like, any day! So I give him like, a 4, for ugliness!
Little Anakin: HEY!
Casey Conner: It was okay, at first, but after the winter wear, it just got.. Disturbing. So I'll have to give him a 5.
Little Anakin: I was HOT! So. 10!!
Audience: *is scarred for life* Yub..? *twitch*
Anakin runs back on stage
Anakin: AHH! IT'S MINI ME!!!!
Little Anakin: AHH! IT'S. um. NOT-SO-MINI ME!
Shmi: Erm.. Yeah. so, average is 6.1!
Anakin: WHOO! AHH! *gets shoved offstage*
Shmi: yeah.. *coughs* Next and last will be. oh NO! A duet between Obi-Wan and Vader!?! That's just.. wrong! *shudder*
Vader and Obi-Wan walk on. Vader is wearing the pink fluffy dress again, and Obi-Wan is wearing a suit.
Obi-Wan: *singing* Never knew, I could feeeeeeel like this! Like I've never seen the skyyyyyy before. Wanna vanish, inside your kiss, everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heeeeart can you heeeeeeeaaaaar it sings..
..A few minutes later
Both Vader and Obi: COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY!!!! COOOOOOOME WHAAAAAAT MAAAAAAAY! IIII WIIIIILLLL LOOOOOVE YOOOOU! UNTILLLL MY DYYYYYIIIIIINNNNG DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!
Audience: *is shuddering and twitching* YUB! WAAAAH!
Shmi: Um.. Um.. *shudder* yeah... judges?
Mace: *chew gum* I am speechless.. *faints*
Casey: *whines* um. 3, whatever! LEMME OUT OF HEAR! *runs*
Little Anakin: I NEVER want to here my soon-to-be Master sing again! So.. A 1!
Shmi: Well, that averages out to 2! Anakin is our Winner! I need to go now.. Bye! *faints*
...a few hours later
the stage is gone, and so is the audience. Anakin is holding a hand made trophy, and modeling his Jedi Robes.
Tina: Hey, Anakin, let's do a duet!
Anakin: Okay!!
Tina: I was meant for lovin' you baby you were meant for lovin' me!
Leah: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Tina: FINE! *pouts*
