Chapter 14: A Funeral and a new 'man'

*side note * (Rory had already told Tristan about getting out of the wheelchair thing the night before. And now, we continue to our normally scheduled program.)

Chilton, after school, Thursday

"Spencer died."

"What?"

Tristan gave Rory a curious look as she was talking about the death of this Spencer person. Rory was getting ready to leave school.

"Spencer died yesterday."

"I'm sorry. How did he die?"

"He died like a God."

"And that is how?"

"He was over flooded with coffee."

Tristan thought he was hearing things. "What?!"

"Spencer died by over flooding with coffee."

"How is that possible?"

"It just is." Rory closed her locker shut. "Oh yeah, you are invited to the funeral."

"How can I go if I didn't even know him?"

"But you did know him!"

"But I am not in the most appropriate attire."

"It's ok. We are going to replace Spencer anyways."

Tristan looked horrified. "How can you say that?"

"We do it all the time. It was first George and when he died, we got Bob and when he died, we got Harry. After Harry died, we got Spencer, but mom somehow killed him too."

Tristan looked completely confused. "What?! How can you replace a person like that?"

"What are you talking about Tristan?"

"What do mean what am I talking about? You are replacing this Spencer person."

Rory couldn't help but burst out laughing. "Spencer was out coffee machine."

"What?!"

"Yeah, Lorelai had this entire incident."

"You normally name your household appliances?"

"Only the special ones."

"You are crazy."

"No, you just think that."

"But it's just wrong to give a common household appliance a funeral."

"Common?! There was nothing common about Spencer! You take that back!"

"Mary."

"MY NAME IS RORY! I am going to hurt you so bad."

Tristan smirked. "Hurt me."

"TRISTAN!"

"Fine fine, I will stop. Geesh, you take all my fun away. So, what time is the funeral?"

"Around 5."

"Then lets go."

"Sir yes sir."

Tristan pouted. "Don't remind me of those days Mary."

Rory smirked. "Sir I will sir if you stop calling me Mary sir."

Tristan smiled. "Yes ma'am."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Spencer, you were one of the best. We couldn't have asked more from you than you have already given us. Now, we know that you are in a happy place, where you can make coffee freely for those in coffee machine heaven. We will miss you dearly. We love you Spencer. I hope you are up there with George, Bob and Harry."

Rory walked away from the platform and took one last look at Spencer. She was going to burst out laughing, but she bit her lips to stop it.

All surrounding Rory was most of Star's Hallow. It was strange on how many people actually showed up to see a coffee machine buried. Lorelai was in her dramatic phase.

A fake tear rolled out of Lorelai's eyes. "I will miss you Spencer. I love you!"

When Kirk shut the "casket" Lorelai started the 'fake' bawl even harder.

Kirk laid the box into a dirt hole. He was going to bury the box when a yelp was heard.

"NO! SPENCER!"

Lorelai ran to the burial area, but Luke held her back.

"Lorelai, I think that's enough."

Lorelai dropped the act and started to laugh. "That was great!"

The whole town bursted out laughing except Luke.

"I can't even believe I am even here." Luke muttered under his breathe.

"Shush. Now, let's go buy another one."

*~*~*~*~*

Tristan simply looked amazed. "This many people show up to see a crazy burial of a coffee machine?"

"Not just any ordinary coffee machine! It was Spencer, the only man in the house!"

"I can be the man in YOUR house."

Rory groaned. "Tristan, don't even get started!"

"I'm just saying."

"Tristan, must you ruin such a moment with such a lewd remark?"

Tristan smirked. "Would it be Tristan-like of me if I didn't."

Rory sighed. "Sadly, it wouldn't. But it would be un-Tristan-like, which I find very cute."

"So I am not cute if I am Tristan-like? You wound me so Mary."

Rory sighed. Then she threw her hands in the air. "I give up!"

Rory then say Lorelai come back with a package in her arms. "Oh no."

Tristan gave out a small laugh. "And the madness continues."

Lorelai got up on the platform, ignoring Luke, who was behind her, protesting.

"Fellow civilians of Stars Hallow, we have a new member of this town!"

Everyone looked up at her as she took out the coffee machine from the bag.

"I would like to introduce you to. Luke!"

Luke groaned as everyone in town bursted out in a fit of laughter.

Rory and Tristan also proceeded to laugh.

"I can't believe mom named it that!"

"Do you see Luke's facial expression right now?"

Rory looked toward Luke's direction as he was deciding on either laughing in amusement or being angry with displeasure. It was just too funny.

Then, Rory spotted Lane slyly talking to Dave, trying not to let Mrs. Kim see her talking to a boy that was not the appropriate Korean boy. Dean and Margaret were laughing together, Margaret in Dean's arms.

Then, she saw someone she would have never expected to see in such a strange function. Paris was at Stars Hallow, to see the burial of her coffee machine. Rory was confused.

"Tristan, why is Paris here?"

Tristan looked up. "Where?"

"Right there."

"I have no idea."

"She doesn't seem like the type who would come to something like this."

Then Jess came behind Paris and gave her a hug. She smiled and acknowledged his presence with a kiss.

"I think that answers your questions Mary."

Rory smiled to herself. "I couldn't have matched a better opposite fit."

Tristan smiled to himself. *I could. *

*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N- hmmm.. Seeing everyone is nice huh? Lol. Well, at least now they replaced Spencer with Luke. Also, this might be revised if someone read it and told me what changes I could possibly make to make it even better. Also, the entire Luke naming explanation will be in the next chapter. Also, I took this long waiting to reach 75 reviews and I reached 74. And for weeks, it has not changed. So whose fault is that?! Review to 85 and you guys get chapter 15