THE BEGINNING OF THE END
"Well."
"Well." Lily and James stood in James's dormitory looking at each other. It was the last day of vacation; it was twilight and there were only hours left before their friends came back.
". . . Well."
"I almost with they weren't . . ." Lily started.
"I know," James said, nodding.
"But when I feel bad about them returning I feel bad about feeling bad!"
James sighed.
"What are we going to do?" LIly said helplessly.
"Er . . . kiss and pretend vacation is starting over again?"
Lily threw him a disappoving glance, but after a thought, shrugged and kissed him. He kissed her back passionately. They pressed together tightly but still Lily felt a distance between them they could not close. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, which was better but it wasn't enough. They stopped kissing and she sighed against his neck
"God, I wish we could . . ." she said breathlessly, then stopped. There was a silent pause and James moved his head away from her and looked at her.
"What? You wish we could what?" he asked, his eyes swallowing her; she grinned uncontrollably and buried her face in his neck, her cheeks burning.
"You know," she said with a tone of finality.
"No, I don't, I don't know," James pressed. "Tell me."
"I can't," she muttered into his shoulder.
"Yes, you can, and I need you to." He tried to nudge her head up with his own forehead so he could see her eyes again, but she resisted. "Oh, try, please try . . ."
"I don't know how to say it the way you . . ."
"In your own way; say whatever you feel."
She looked at him and fell into his gaze and suddenly it took no strength whatsoever to speak this most private feelingin her heart. "I wish we could make love."
James's eyes gleamed into her. His heart stopped and he couldn't breathe, but he didn't care. He kissed her, trying at first to be gentle, but the kiss became desperate. Lily's legs tighened around him. He carried her over to his bed and slowly lowered her down on it, and then, ever so carefully, laid down on top of her.
They kissed for a whie, and James was in heaven; but then Lily moaned and pushed him gently.
"James . . ."
"I know. I know, I'm sorry." He rolled off of her and sighed.
"I'm s-sorry," Lily said softly. "I better go . . ."
"No!" he said, perhaps a little too harshly, for she immediately lay right back down. "I mean, just . . . stay for a little bit . . ." He didn't want her to leave, didn't want to break the perfection of the last three weeks they had spent alone together. James couldn't wait to get out of school now; then he'd marry her and they'd be alone together forever.
James lay down next to her and Lily nuzzled into the crook of his arm and tucked her head under his chin. James felt infinitely peaceful with her there, and couldn't imagine going to sleep any other way ever again . . .
~*
THE NEXT MORNING . . .
Sirius lifted his head from his pillow enough to see the clock at the head of his four-poster, then buried his face in his pillow again. Urgh. Class. And what better way to start off a new year than Arithmancy?
He kicked his covers to the floor, dragged himself out of bed, and dressed. He went aound the room to peek through the curtains around Remus and Peter's bed, and found they were both empty. It was late in the morning. They were probably already downstairs eating breakfast.
He heard James stir in his sleep and made his way over to that bed, cooing," James . . . Prongs-ie, time to wakey, get ready for another d--" He stopped, wide-eyed. He'd started to draw back the curtains, and noticed that there were way too many legs.
He shut the curtains and hurried out of the room, towards the seventh-year girls' dormitory, and ran right into April. Her blond ringlets were wet and her skin glowed -- it looked as though she'd just stepped out of the shower. Sirius lost his head for a moment, looking at her, but soon pulled himself together.
"Do you know where --" April began, at the same time Sirius asked, "Have you seen --"
"Lily's not in your dormitory?" Sirius askd, somewhat relieved. "Okay, at least I know who it is."
"Who what is? Where is she?" April was slightly put out. She'd really missed Lily over vacation, but Lily wasn't rushing to see her again.
"Either James grew another couple legs, or there are two people in his bed."
April's jaw fell. "What!? What the hell are they doing?"
"Need you ask? just started to open the curtains and when I saw all the legs I decided it wasn't any of my business."
"Well it's going to be everyone's business if they don't get up soon. We've got Arithmancy in ten minutes!"
"Not only that, but aren't your insides just writing with the thought of it?" Sirius said as they headed to class.
"What thought? I am managing to avoid all thoughts right now except 'Ew!'"
~*
Meanwhile, as the sun rose higher in the sky and began filtering through the window of the seventh-year boys' dormitory, James rolled over and opened his eyes, and discovered the sheet contentment and peacefulness that accompanies waking up with someone you love.
Slowly he put his hand up and his fingers lightly brushed her lips, her cheek, her eyelids, her hair. Lily stirred and opened her eyes, letting loose on James's heart a shimmering green light. She smiled.
"What are you doing?" she asked groggily, as he continued to touch her hair.
"Making sure you're real," he answered,
Lily took his hand from her head and brought it to her face and kissed his fingers. "I'm as real as the rules I'm breaking," she said. James laughed.
Their laughter was cut short as suddenly both of them realized when and where they were.
The bell rang, signaling the start of their first class of the term.
"Arithmancy!" Lily exclaimed as they exchanged horrified glances. In one swift movement they both bounded out of bed. James took his shirt as Lily raced toward the door -- then she double back and ave him a quick kiss on the lips.
"I'll see you in a few minutes," she said breathlessly. "I love you."
"I love you," James returned as he pulled a sweater over his head. "Hurry!"
"No kidding!"
Ten mintues later they both skidded into the Arithmany classroom, books and quills in hand. Lily had had enough sense to run a comb through her hair but James's was even messier than usual.
"It's nice of you to join us," Professor Sinistra said, giving them a steely glare. "You're late. Our Head Boy and Girl, no less." She wasn't the only one glaring. April, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all staring at the pair suspiciously. There was an empty table at the back of the room and James and Lily sensed each other wanting to go to and sit together, but, after exchanging glances, separated ad sat in their usual seats next to their best friends.
"What?" Lily questioned April's questioning gaze. She opened her mouth to say something, but then Sinistra began the lesson and there was no more room for conversation.
An hour and a half later the bell rang for the end of class.
"Where were you?" April lurted out as they gather their books together.
"Sleeping. Do you think Sinistra was too angry with us? She didn't take any points away . . ."
"Potter, can I see you for a moment?" Professor Sinistra said as the students filed out of the classroom.
"Hah! Busted," April remarked.
Lily turned around and James deliberately bumped into her.
"She's calling you," Lily said, trying and failing to suppress a grin. Her body was tingling slightly where he'd bumped into her.
"I know," James said, returning her smile. He leaned in to kiss her, then stood back, thinking better of it as he noticed the four others were watching them intently.
"Do you think they did it?" April murmured to Sirius.
"I can't tell . . ." Sirus replied out of the side of his mouth.
"It was my fault, too, okay?" Lily was saying to James. "Don't you take all the blame."
"Of course it was," James agreed, although truthfully he had no intentions of placing any of the blame on LIly. Then they tried to go their separate ways; James into the classroom, Lily into the hall with April, but their lips somehow came togethr in a brief but passionate kiss.
"I lo--" He stopped and glancd over at his friends, still watching. ". . . I'll see you," James said, turning to leave. The boys waved and walked off down the hall. Lily let go of James's hand and turned to April.
"You two have amazing chemistry, you know that?" April said appreciatively.
"We do?" Lily said, surprised.
"Yep. Points for sparkage. It makes me sick. So . . . what exactly were you doing last night?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
~*
Professor SInistra led James into his office, where he found Dumbledor sitting near the fire, twiddling his thumbs.
"Ah! James. There you are."
"Professor Dumbledore!" James said in surprise. They send you to the Headmaster for being caught in the wrong dormitory? James thought. "Listen, er, Headmaster, sir, it wasn't Lily's idea to come into my dormitory, I made her do it, so please don't put it down on her permanent record --"
"You're not in trouble, James," Professor Dumbledore said dismissively. Jame blushed.
"Oh. Erm, forget all that stuff I just said."
"Could you please leave us for a few minutes?" Dumbledore asked Professor Sinistra kindly. She bowed deeply and backed out of the door, closing it firmly behind her. James looked at the door uneasily.
Dumbledore got up and started waking back and forth across the room. "For over a hundred years I have lived and still this task comes no easier," he thought to himself. He stopped pacing and looked down at James, who waited calmly. The Headmaster's face was exremely grave. He looked worn-out, weak. He took a breath and composed himself, something James had never seen the Headmaster need to do before; it troubled him.
Dumbledore fixed his intelligent grey eyes directy on James. He knew now that he had made a mistake in not confronting James about his ancestors three week ago, before the holidays. Perhaps if he had, things would have happened differently . . .
But, he hadn't
"Last night," Dumbledore began, "there was an attack at Godric's Hollow. Voldemort attempted to murder your parents. You father is dead, James . . . Your mother is . . . fatally wounded."
"Well."
"Well." Lily and James stood in James's dormitory looking at each other. It was the last day of vacation; it was twilight and there were only hours left before their friends came back.
". . . Well."
"I almost with they weren't . . ." Lily started.
"I know," James said, nodding.
"But when I feel bad about them returning I feel bad about feeling bad!"
James sighed.
"What are we going to do?" LIly said helplessly.
"Er . . . kiss and pretend vacation is starting over again?"
Lily threw him a disappoving glance, but after a thought, shrugged and kissed him. He kissed her back passionately. They pressed together tightly but still Lily felt a distance between them they could not close. She jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist, which was better but it wasn't enough. They stopped kissing and she sighed against his neck
"God, I wish we could . . ." she said breathlessly, then stopped. There was a silent pause and James moved his head away from her and looked at her.
"What? You wish we could what?" he asked, his eyes swallowing her; she grinned uncontrollably and buried her face in his neck, her cheeks burning.
"You know," she said with a tone of finality.
"No, I don't, I don't know," James pressed. "Tell me."
"I can't," she muttered into his shoulder.
"Yes, you can, and I need you to." He tried to nudge her head up with his own forehead so he could see her eyes again, but she resisted. "Oh, try, please try . . ."
"I don't know how to say it the way you . . ."
"In your own way; say whatever you feel."
She looked at him and fell into his gaze and suddenly it took no strength whatsoever to speak this most private feelingin her heart. "I wish we could make love."
James's eyes gleamed into her. His heart stopped and he couldn't breathe, but he didn't care. He kissed her, trying at first to be gentle, but the kiss became desperate. Lily's legs tighened around him. He carried her over to his bed and slowly lowered her down on it, and then, ever so carefully, laid down on top of her.
They kissed for a whie, and James was in heaven; but then Lily moaned and pushed him gently.
"James . . ."
"I know. I know, I'm sorry." He rolled off of her and sighed.
"I'm s-sorry," Lily said softly. "I better go . . ."
"No!" he said, perhaps a little too harshly, for she immediately lay right back down. "I mean, just . . . stay for a little bit . . ." He didn't want her to leave, didn't want to break the perfection of the last three weeks they had spent alone together. James couldn't wait to get out of school now; then he'd marry her and they'd be alone together forever.
James lay down next to her and Lily nuzzled into the crook of his arm and tucked her head under his chin. James felt infinitely peaceful with her there, and couldn't imagine going to sleep any other way ever again . . .
~*
THE NEXT MORNING . . .
Sirius lifted his head from his pillow enough to see the clock at the head of his four-poster, then buried his face in his pillow again. Urgh. Class. And what better way to start off a new year than Arithmancy?
He kicked his covers to the floor, dragged himself out of bed, and dressed. He went aound the room to peek through the curtains around Remus and Peter's bed, and found they were both empty. It was late in the morning. They were probably already downstairs eating breakfast.
He heard James stir in his sleep and made his way over to that bed, cooing," James . . . Prongs-ie, time to wakey, get ready for another d--" He stopped, wide-eyed. He'd started to draw back the curtains, and noticed that there were way too many legs.
He shut the curtains and hurried out of the room, towards the seventh-year girls' dormitory, and ran right into April. Her blond ringlets were wet and her skin glowed -- it looked as though she'd just stepped out of the shower. Sirius lost his head for a moment, looking at her, but soon pulled himself together.
"Do you know where --" April began, at the same time Sirius asked, "Have you seen --"
"Lily's not in your dormitory?" Sirius askd, somewhat relieved. "Okay, at least I know who it is."
"Who what is? Where is she?" April was slightly put out. She'd really missed Lily over vacation, but Lily wasn't rushing to see her again.
"Either James grew another couple legs, or there are two people in his bed."
April's jaw fell. "What!? What the hell are they doing?"
"Need you ask? just started to open the curtains and when I saw all the legs I decided it wasn't any of my business."
"Well it's going to be everyone's business if they don't get up soon. We've got Arithmancy in ten minutes!"
"Not only that, but aren't your insides just writing with the thought of it?" Sirius said as they headed to class.
"What thought? I am managing to avoid all thoughts right now except 'Ew!'"
~*
Meanwhile, as the sun rose higher in the sky and began filtering through the window of the seventh-year boys' dormitory, James rolled over and opened his eyes, and discovered the sheet contentment and peacefulness that accompanies waking up with someone you love.
Slowly he put his hand up and his fingers lightly brushed her lips, her cheek, her eyelids, her hair. Lily stirred and opened her eyes, letting loose on James's heart a shimmering green light. She smiled.
"What are you doing?" she asked groggily, as he continued to touch her hair.
"Making sure you're real," he answered,
Lily took his hand from her head and brought it to her face and kissed his fingers. "I'm as real as the rules I'm breaking," she said. James laughed.
Their laughter was cut short as suddenly both of them realized when and where they were.
The bell rang, signaling the start of their first class of the term.
"Arithmancy!" Lily exclaimed as they exchanged horrified glances. In one swift movement they both bounded out of bed. James took his shirt as Lily raced toward the door -- then she double back and ave him a quick kiss on the lips.
"I'll see you in a few minutes," she said breathlessly. "I love you."
"I love you," James returned as he pulled a sweater over his head. "Hurry!"
"No kidding!"
Ten mintues later they both skidded into the Arithmany classroom, books and quills in hand. Lily had had enough sense to run a comb through her hair but James's was even messier than usual.
"It's nice of you to join us," Professor Sinistra said, giving them a steely glare. "You're late. Our Head Boy and Girl, no less." She wasn't the only one glaring. April, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all staring at the pair suspiciously. There was an empty table at the back of the room and James and Lily sensed each other wanting to go to and sit together, but, after exchanging glances, separated ad sat in their usual seats next to their best friends.
"What?" Lily questioned April's questioning gaze. She opened her mouth to say something, but then Sinistra began the lesson and there was no more room for conversation.
An hour and a half later the bell rang for the end of class.
"Where were you?" April lurted out as they gather their books together.
"Sleeping. Do you think Sinistra was too angry with us? She didn't take any points away . . ."
"Potter, can I see you for a moment?" Professor Sinistra said as the students filed out of the classroom.
"Hah! Busted," April remarked.
Lily turned around and James deliberately bumped into her.
"She's calling you," Lily said, trying and failing to suppress a grin. Her body was tingling slightly where he'd bumped into her.
"I know," James said, returning her smile. He leaned in to kiss her, then stood back, thinking better of it as he noticed the four others were watching them intently.
"Do you think they did it?" April murmured to Sirius.
"I can't tell . . ." Sirus replied out of the side of his mouth.
"It was my fault, too, okay?" Lily was saying to James. "Don't you take all the blame."
"Of course it was," James agreed, although truthfully he had no intentions of placing any of the blame on LIly. Then they tried to go their separate ways; James into the classroom, Lily into the hall with April, but their lips somehow came togethr in a brief but passionate kiss.
"I lo--" He stopped and glancd over at his friends, still watching. ". . . I'll see you," James said, turning to leave. The boys waved and walked off down the hall. Lily let go of James's hand and turned to April.
"You two have amazing chemistry, you know that?" April said appreciatively.
"We do?" Lily said, surprised.
"Yep. Points for sparkage. It makes me sick. So . . . what exactly were you doing last night?"
"Wouldn't you like to know."
~*
Professor SInistra led James into his office, where he found Dumbledor sitting near the fire, twiddling his thumbs.
"Ah! James. There you are."
"Professor Dumbledore!" James said in surprise. They send you to the Headmaster for being caught in the wrong dormitory? James thought. "Listen, er, Headmaster, sir, it wasn't Lily's idea to come into my dormitory, I made her do it, so please don't put it down on her permanent record --"
"You're not in trouble, James," Professor Dumbledore said dismissively. Jame blushed.
"Oh. Erm, forget all that stuff I just said."
"Could you please leave us for a few minutes?" Dumbledore asked Professor Sinistra kindly. She bowed deeply and backed out of the door, closing it firmly behind her. James looked at the door uneasily.
Dumbledore got up and started waking back and forth across the room. "For over a hundred years I have lived and still this task comes no easier," he thought to himself. He stopped pacing and looked down at James, who waited calmly. The Headmaster's face was exremely grave. He looked worn-out, weak. He took a breath and composed himself, something James had never seen the Headmaster need to do before; it troubled him.
Dumbledore fixed his intelligent grey eyes directy on James. He knew now that he had made a mistake in not confronting James about his ancestors three week ago, before the holidays. Perhaps if he had, things would have happened differently . . .
But, he hadn't
"Last night," Dumbledore began, "there was an attack at Godric's Hollow. Voldemort attempted to murder your parents. You father is dead, James . . . Your mother is . . . fatally wounded."
