Disclaimer: I don't own That 70's Show or its Characters. :(
Author's Notes: I wrote a Hyde P.O.V story and Idk I feel like all I do is pay attention to Hyde, so I wrote a Jackie P.O.V. :) it's weird, I guess. I wasn;t in the best of moods when I wrote it so it's all weird… Lol R&R if u have any comments leave it in review. K? The summary… lol I guess its self explanitory. Just Jackie reflecting on EVERYTHING. Ok… lol R&R
Shallow World of Class
It was five-thirty in the morning. I sat on the white beach in my khaki shorts, pink tank top, and jean ¾ jacket. My sandals were next to me, and my hair swung in a ponytail with the breeze. I needed to get away, from the glitter, the room service, the expensive wines, the diamonds. I had to get away from the shallow world of class.
The beach was completely empty. The rich mistresses and snobby wives wouldn't roll out of bed till twelve, so the beach would be empty till at least one. Though the newly weds usually came to swim and have fun. And the elderly couples usually came to sun bathe. But they didn't come till after ten. No one comes during five-thirty; the sun wasn't even up yet. I could still see the faintest of stars. It was all so peaceful. Nothing seemed complicated.
Seemed, is the main word there. Everything was complicated. From where I was to who I am.
Earlier in the school year my dad was put into jail, and my mom was partying in the Bahamas. I had only heard from her when she sent me a ticket to a resort and told me to "get an escape." She hadn't joined me. So I was alone, in the world of class. And nothing seemed as great as it had months ago.
Sure, who didn't love money? Who didn't love walking into a room full of glitter? But not everyday, not every second. Everything was so, fake. The people, the attitudes, the love, the happiness, it was all fake. The corrupted world of class was not as great as everyone thought it to be.
Well, it was great. It was ideal. Money could get you anything. And I didn't care who got hurt by it. I lived in the shallow world. I lived for the money, for the glitter, for the expensive tastes. And now, it means absolutely nothing.
Money can't buy real love or real friends. It can't buy you what you need. Well, ok, it can buy you what you need. But only what you materialistically need. It can buy the emotional needs.
I always thought the expensive diamonds, and the pretty clothes were all I needed, all I wanted. But it wasn't. My parents were never around when I was little. I had a nanny who sat and watched Spanish soap operas all day. And when my parents came home they would go into their own world. And give me something new, something expensive so I wouldn't expect them to deal with me. Of course I would grow up thinking you needed pretty, expensive things.
I never grew out of it. I never cared. I was pretty, sexy, innocent, and had money. What else was there?
And Michael didn't help. He was just as bad as my parents, and I expected it. He would buy me pretty things. He would apologize with gifts. He would love me through jewelry. Just like my parents. So, as time went by, I expected the gifts. I needed the gifts.
But all I really needed was a reality check.
Then the summer came. My parents went on separate vacations and Michael ran off with Donna to California. I was left in a big house, with maids, butlers, and a nanny who were obsessed with Felicia and Pablo on the Spanish version of Days of our lives. I was left alone.
I had tried bonding with Eric over the whole, lost love thing. But he was in a real depression. He really had lost the love of his life. I "lost" Michael. Not exactly the same thing as Eric losing Donna. It still hurt though. It was still painful realizing that not even Michael wanted to stick around.
But Eric needed his own space. And I needed some kind of comfort. And this time it wasn't going to be something materialistic.
I began hanging around the basement with Steven and Fez. They were good people to get a laugh or two from. Especially Fez, he went out of his way to keep me smiling. But even Fez began leaving. He came less and less to the basement. Till I walked in and it was just Steven.
Steven and me clashed. I was the rich, spoiled princess, and he was the scruffy, "Zen" attitude rebel. He usually ignored me. Which was fine, I had Fez. But Fez wasn't here. And Eric had yet to make it past the kitchen. So I would sit and just watch TV with the rebel.
It started where I would often complain, or whine, or ask stupid questions. And he would tell me to Shut up or get out. I never did. It was a game, our game. I would talk endlessly, and he would sit there a make snide remarks.
That is until…
He decided to change the rules. I had been talking, about how Michael was a priss. And he told me to shut up. And I didn't, like usual. But then, he just pulled my face to his and kissed me.
He was growing a beard, so the tiny hairs tickled my mouth and chin. He was rough and aggressive. His hands were at all the wrong places. His eyes were shut tight, and his glasses were falling unto my face. It was the best kiss of my life.
So now there was a new game. I would talk, he would kiss me, and it would go on until someone came downstairs. It was our secret game. And I didn't care who was winning.
I liked the secret game, with the un-kept scores. It was fun. It was different. It was a change.
When I went to the basement I didn't expect a present, an "I love you", or "you're pretty." I could have cared less if he said that he would marry me or love me till I died. All I wanted were the kisses, the wrong hand movements. All I wanted was him. I didn't want a commitment. I didn't need his promise of forever. All I want was here and now.
Before I knew it, Donna and Michael came back. And the game ended. But so did my relationship with Michael.
Steven had an out. He had the perfect out. Michael was back; there was no reason to keep "shutting me up." But Steven didn't take it. He actually stuck around, and told everything to Michael. There was no more Michael and Jackie. Now there was Steven and Jackie. There was a new game.
But with Steven, I couldn't live in the shallow world of class. I had to move to reality, or at least closer to Steven's world. I couldn't get a present everyday. I couldn't hear I was perfect every second. I got what he gave.
And he gave me comfort by shaving his beard. He gave me love when he gave me his favorite shirt. He gave me kisses. He gave me all he had. All but trust and emotions.
We were finally in sync with each other, when I went and ruined it. Michael's tramp, Annette, came from California. Her personality matched mine to a fault. She was exactly like me. And when I saw her with Michael, it just slipped.
"Get off my boyfriend."
I didn't want to be with Michael anymore. I didn't want to move back to the world of class. I didn't want any of it. I wanted to take it all back. But it was too late. Steven said it was over; the game was done. And I had lost.
But I wasn't letting Steven leave. I just couldn't let someone else leave me. Everyone leaves me. I wasn't letting Steven go. I couldn't let him leave.
So I talked to the little tramp, Annette. She challenged me to fight for Michael. I didn't want to fight for Michael. I wanted to fight for Steven. So I went and told Steven. I gave Steven everything we both knew he didn't want. I gave him my trust and my emotions.
I gave him my love.
And he just stared at me. He just looked at me. He wasn't going to say it back. He wasn't going to tell me he loved me. I knew he did. I didn't care whether he told me or not. And I told him that.
And then he kissed me. We were back to our original game. I would talk and he would "shut me up." And then he took me to the Valentine dance.
Everything had gone back to normal. I was still living in my empty house, no servants, no parents, and no emotion boyfriend. I was just happy he hadn't left yet.
I found myself earning to not be alone anymore. I found myself driving to the Foreman's and opening the door. I would sneak into the basement and then into Steven's room. And he would be sleeping peacefully. And I would sneak under the covers. And be off to sleep in a second.
The first night, he didn't wake up, so in the morning he flipped out. While, Mrs. Foreman was so happy I had come early for breakfast. After that it became a routine. And Steven more then welcomed me into his warm arms.
And then I tripped over Eric's stupid toy. What idiot leaves a toy in front of the door? An idiot like Eric. Well the routine was interrupted. And I was volunteered to stay with Donna. It wasn't that great. I would have loved to stay with Steven. I had even begged Mrs. Foreman. But in the end I was staying with Donna.
And once again, everything had gone back to normal.
That's how it worked. It would start as something, become normal, then something would happen, everything would get screwed up, then the solution would come about, and then we would be back at normal.
I was use to normal; I was use to the routine. It was ideal.
And then came the ultimatum. Steven didn't want me hanging with Michael any more. I gave him my word.
How was I suppose to know Fez would have a dream about Michael? How was I suppose to know Michael would come to me for comfort? How was I suppose to know Steven would be coming over? I wasn't suppose to know.
So, as usual, everything got screwed up. Steven flipped out. And he slept with someone. He cheated on me. And once again the feeling of alone, of being left, came back to me.
And I thought I left him. I thought since I broke it off, I had left him. But I hadn't. I didn't leave him, and he hadn't left me.
And that scared me. I hadn't been left, and I didn't leave him. We were just not together. He still loved me and I still loved him.
But he slept with someone else; he didn't trust me. I was going to hurt him. So I made Michael an option. I wanted them to fight over me. I wanted them to get hurt. Who knew that they would make me choose between them?
If I had to choose, it would be Steven. And I should have told him that. But I wanted to get away. Everything was complicated. I wanted to run back into the world of class.
So that's what I did. I told them I couldn't choose, and I ran.
So here I am. At a beach, six in the morning, watching the sky go from blue, to pink, to orange, back to blue.
There's no more game, no more normal, no more Steven and Jackie. Everyone left me. So right now, it's just me, with my thoughts about Steven and reality.
Stranded in the shallow world of class.
