Disclaimer:
Laura: I own all of them! *hugs the Fellowship, and ghost of Tolkien appears*
Lauren: Uh, Laura?
Laura: What? Oooh, crap.
Tolkien: Let them go. *Laura lets all of them go except Legolas, who tries to run away, but Laura grabs his braid before he can get away*
Legolas: Yeek! Ouch.
Laura: Okay, I only own my Leggy poo.
Legolas: Leggy poo??? YOUR'S??? Hey!
Tolkien: Ahem?
Laura: Pwease? *puppy face*
Tolkien: NO.
Lauren and Laura: Damn. *lets Legolas go*
Legolas: I'M FREE!!! WOOHOO!!! *runs away happily*
Laura and Lauren: *wail* We don't. own. ANY OF THEM!!! *fall on each other bawling*
Random outburst for the chapter: I LIKE TO SNIFF PAINT!!! sorry... just me... *whistles innocently*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 3: Of freaked-out crows and lots of snow
~Laura POV~
Okay, so now we're at the part where we almost get killed by a bunch of crazy blackbirds. (Yeek! It reminds me of the movie "Birds". *shudder*)
Yeah, so anyways, we were on top of this big group of boulders the size of SUVs. They were pretty cool... for about thirty seconds. Then they just became a nuisance. Anywhoo, Merry and Pippin were working on sword fighting with Boromir, while Sam was flirting with Frodo, Gimli was complaining, and Legolas was staring off at nothingness. Gee, so what else was new? Yeah, exactly. So Lauren and I were playing the random word game (you know, the game where one person says a word, and then the other says a different word that the first one makes them think of? Yeah, that game!) because we were really bored.
"Barbie Doll!" Her.
"Pink!" Me.
"Clothes!" Her.
"Green!" Me.
"Green? Whatever... beans!" Her.
"Bodily gas!" Me.
"*giggle* um... ok you win."
"Woohoo!" I jumped up and went over to Aragorn.
"Yo, Aragorn! Guess what!"
"Yes?"
"I won!" I shrieked in his ear. He winced and shut his eyes. "Won what?"
But I didn't answer. Instead, I ran over to Legolas. "Hey, Leggy poo! Guess what?"
He turned down to look at me with a disgusted expression. "Leggy poo?"
"Yeah, it's your new name. Anyways, guess what?"
He rolled his eyes. "What."
"Well, 1) I won, and 2) We're about to be attacked by a bunch of rabid crows."
"What?"
"Lookie, silly Leggy. See that black spot? That's a bunch of birds." Actually, I couldn't tell that they were, but like I said before, I saw the movie so many times that I had it down by heart.
"Damn. You're right." He spun around and shouted, "CREBAIN FROM DUNLAND!"
"Geez, think you could make it a little more obvious we're here. I don't think that the birds quite caught that." I felt like punching him. But before I could, Lauren had pulled me with her and we packed up our bags. Then we dove under some scrubby bushes.
~Lauren POV~
Damn, she could be so annoying! But I couldn't exactly chew her out, because the EVIL BIRDS OF DOOM (da da dum!) were there. Damn birds. Damn space-time continuums. Damn everything.
After the birds flew around in circles pointlessly for five minutes, they decided to pack up and head back to Isengard. Yippee.
"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf said as he climbed out of his hiding spot.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious! You win a brand new DICTIONARY! WOOHOO!" I yelled, waving my dictionary from my backpack in his face.
Boromir swatted my hands with the blunt edge of his sword. "Asshole," I muttered. "Trying to steal my fun."
"We must take the pass of Caradhras," the old geezer said, turning towards the big scary triangular shaped chunk of rock. (Da da dum!)
So we packed up and moved out. Laura and I quickly got bored, and started singing at the top of our lungs: "LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO, HOPPIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND BOPPIN' THEM ON THE HEAD!"
"Repeat!" she would yell, and we'd sing it again.
"Will you PLEASE DESIST!" everyone else would yell.
"Lauren! They don't like our singing!" Insert look of puppiness. "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Sweet Valar!" Legolas cried, leaping back and covering his ears.
"Fine. Be that way. All of you. Why don't you just leave us behind?" I said with a pout.
"Fine by me," Princess Puff (a.k.a. Leggy poo) said.
"Shuddup, ya little booger, no one asked you," Laura spat.
"Actually," he started, but I kicked him really hard in the shin.
"Now play nice, Leggy-kins! What have I told you about kicking?" Laura shook her finger in his pained face. He scowled at her.
After about a week, we finally reached the POINT OF DOOM (da da dum!) on the mountain, where Saruman goes all "Woohoo lookit me I'm a girly friggin' WIZARD!" and shouts from his little tower and crap like that. So here we were, trudging through waist deep snow, all the hobbits being carried.
"Leggy-kins?" Laura looked up at him as he walked over the snow past us. "Will you pwease cawwy me?"
"No."
"Pwease?" She made her lower lip tremble.
"NO." He started walking away.
"Asshole!" she yelled, and kicked the snow out from under him. He came SO CLOSE to falling down, but being the stupid elf that he is, he didn't. Damn.
So then Gandalf starts yelling baby talk back at the almighty Tide Wizard, and then the lightning came. DA DA DUM!!! *insert foreboding Mozart music here, pwease*
~Laura POV~
So here comes this HUGE amount of snow, crashing down at us. It looks mild in the movie, of course, but this was a BUTT LOAD of snow, really! So Leggy-kins does his little Gandalf-pushing-thing, and saves HIS ass, but leaves the rest of us to DIE. Damn elf.
When the snow finally hit us, it felt like a bazillion cement trucks were falling all around and on me. Damn Saruman. He should DIE!!! But he can't, because he's a stupid Istari. Damn wizards.
And, while everyone else was being pulled out, somehow I had gotten under a huge drift of snow, like ten feet deep. Damn wind.
"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, deedly dee, and they are a-standin' in a row! (2-3-4!) Big ones, small ones, ones the size of your head (and bigger!) Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist..." I sang, just to keep my mind off the four tons of snow surrounding me.
"OK, LEGOLAS, IF YOU FIND ME FIRST, I PROMISE I WON'T EVER CALL YOU "LEGGY KINS" AGAIN! Ok, well maybe a few times, just for good measure, BUT C'MON!!! LEMME OUT!!!"
Damn magic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, whaddya think? FANTASTIC!!! Hello??? Still haven't gotten any REVIEWS!!! ME WANT!!! *wails* FINE!!! BE THAT WAY!!!
Laura: I own all of them! *hugs the Fellowship, and ghost of Tolkien appears*
Lauren: Uh, Laura?
Laura: What? Oooh, crap.
Tolkien: Let them go. *Laura lets all of them go except Legolas, who tries to run away, but Laura grabs his braid before he can get away*
Legolas: Yeek! Ouch.
Laura: Okay, I only own my Leggy poo.
Legolas: Leggy poo??? YOUR'S??? Hey!
Tolkien: Ahem?
Laura: Pwease? *puppy face*
Tolkien: NO.
Lauren and Laura: Damn. *lets Legolas go*
Legolas: I'M FREE!!! WOOHOO!!! *runs away happily*
Laura and Lauren: *wail* We don't. own. ANY OF THEM!!! *fall on each other bawling*
Random outburst for the chapter: I LIKE TO SNIFF PAINT!!! sorry... just me... *whistles innocently*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter 3: Of freaked-out crows and lots of snow
~Laura POV~
Okay, so now we're at the part where we almost get killed by a bunch of crazy blackbirds. (Yeek! It reminds me of the movie "Birds". *shudder*)
Yeah, so anyways, we were on top of this big group of boulders the size of SUVs. They were pretty cool... for about thirty seconds. Then they just became a nuisance. Anywhoo, Merry and Pippin were working on sword fighting with Boromir, while Sam was flirting with Frodo, Gimli was complaining, and Legolas was staring off at nothingness. Gee, so what else was new? Yeah, exactly. So Lauren and I were playing the random word game (you know, the game where one person says a word, and then the other says a different word that the first one makes them think of? Yeah, that game!) because we were really bored.
"Barbie Doll!" Her.
"Pink!" Me.
"Clothes!" Her.
"Green!" Me.
"Green? Whatever... beans!" Her.
"Bodily gas!" Me.
"*giggle* um... ok you win."
"Woohoo!" I jumped up and went over to Aragorn.
"Yo, Aragorn! Guess what!"
"Yes?"
"I won!" I shrieked in his ear. He winced and shut his eyes. "Won what?"
But I didn't answer. Instead, I ran over to Legolas. "Hey, Leggy poo! Guess what?"
He turned down to look at me with a disgusted expression. "Leggy poo?"
"Yeah, it's your new name. Anyways, guess what?"
He rolled his eyes. "What."
"Well, 1) I won, and 2) We're about to be attacked by a bunch of rabid crows."
"What?"
"Lookie, silly Leggy. See that black spot? That's a bunch of birds." Actually, I couldn't tell that they were, but like I said before, I saw the movie so many times that I had it down by heart.
"Damn. You're right." He spun around and shouted, "CREBAIN FROM DUNLAND!"
"Geez, think you could make it a little more obvious we're here. I don't think that the birds quite caught that." I felt like punching him. But before I could, Lauren had pulled me with her and we packed up our bags. Then we dove under some scrubby bushes.
~Lauren POV~
Damn, she could be so annoying! But I couldn't exactly chew her out, because the EVIL BIRDS OF DOOM (da da dum!) were there. Damn birds. Damn space-time continuums. Damn everything.
After the birds flew around in circles pointlessly for five minutes, they decided to pack up and head back to Isengard. Yippee.
"Spies of Saruman," Gandalf said as he climbed out of his hiding spot.
"Thank you, Captain Obvious! You win a brand new DICTIONARY! WOOHOO!" I yelled, waving my dictionary from my backpack in his face.
Boromir swatted my hands with the blunt edge of his sword. "Asshole," I muttered. "Trying to steal my fun."
"We must take the pass of Caradhras," the old geezer said, turning towards the big scary triangular shaped chunk of rock. (Da da dum!)
So we packed up and moved out. Laura and I quickly got bored, and started singing at the top of our lungs: "LITTLE BUNNY FOO FOO, HOPPIN' THROUGH THE FOREST, SCOOPIN' UP THE FIELD MICE AND BOPPIN' THEM ON THE HEAD!"
"Repeat!" she would yell, and we'd sing it again.
"Will you PLEASE DESIST!" everyone else would yell.
"Lauren! They don't like our singing!" Insert look of puppiness. "WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"
"Sweet Valar!" Legolas cried, leaping back and covering his ears.
"Fine. Be that way. All of you. Why don't you just leave us behind?" I said with a pout.
"Fine by me," Princess Puff (a.k.a. Leggy poo) said.
"Shuddup, ya little booger, no one asked you," Laura spat.
"Actually," he started, but I kicked him really hard in the shin.
"Now play nice, Leggy-kins! What have I told you about kicking?" Laura shook her finger in his pained face. He scowled at her.
After about a week, we finally reached the POINT OF DOOM (da da dum!) on the mountain, where Saruman goes all "Woohoo lookit me I'm a girly friggin' WIZARD!" and shouts from his little tower and crap like that. So here we were, trudging through waist deep snow, all the hobbits being carried.
"Leggy-kins?" Laura looked up at him as he walked over the snow past us. "Will you pwease cawwy me?"
"No."
"Pwease?" She made her lower lip tremble.
"NO." He started walking away.
"Asshole!" she yelled, and kicked the snow out from under him. He came SO CLOSE to falling down, but being the stupid elf that he is, he didn't. Damn.
So then Gandalf starts yelling baby talk back at the almighty Tide Wizard, and then the lightning came. DA DA DUM!!! *insert foreboding Mozart music here, pwease*
~Laura POV~
So here comes this HUGE amount of snow, crashing down at us. It looks mild in the movie, of course, but this was a BUTT LOAD of snow, really! So Leggy-kins does his little Gandalf-pushing-thing, and saves HIS ass, but leaves the rest of us to DIE. Damn elf.
When the snow finally hit us, it felt like a bazillion cement trucks were falling all around and on me. Damn Saruman. He should DIE!!! But he can't, because he's a stupid Istari. Damn wizards.
And, while everyone else was being pulled out, somehow I had gotten under a huge drift of snow, like ten feet deep. Damn wind.
"I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts, deedly dee, and they are a-standin' in a row! (2-3-4!) Big ones, small ones, ones the size of your head (and bigger!) Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist..." I sang, just to keep my mind off the four tons of snow surrounding me.
"OK, LEGOLAS, IF YOU FIND ME FIRST, I PROMISE I WON'T EVER CALL YOU "LEGGY KINS" AGAIN! Ok, well maybe a few times, just for good measure, BUT C'MON!!! LEMME OUT!!!"
Damn magic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, whaddya think? FANTASTIC!!! Hello??? Still haven't gotten any REVIEWS!!! ME WANT!!! *wails* FINE!!! BE THAT WAY!!!
