Disclaimer:
Laura: I own all of them! *hugs the Fellowship, and ghost of Tolkien appears*
Lauren: Uh, Laura?
Laura: What? Oooh, crap.
Tolkien: Let them go. *Laura lets all of them go except Legolas, who tries to run away, but Laura grabs his braid before he can get away*
Legolas: Yeek! Ouch.
Laura: Okay, I only own my Leggy poo.
Legolas: Leggy poo??? YOURS??? Hey!
Tolkien: Ahem?
Laura: Pwease? *puppy face*
Tolkien: NO.
Lauren and Laura: Damn. *lets Legolas go*
Legolas: I'M FREE!!! WOOHOO!!! *runs away happily*
Laura and Lauren: *wail* We don't. own. ANY OF THEM!!! *fall on each other bawling*
Random comment for the chapter: Aragorn looks really gay when he's stabbing the cave troll with the spear thing. ^.^ Heheh, like this: :-B Heheh, evil buck-toothed geek.
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Chapter 6: The creepy elf lady talks to the FPT inside their heads
~Laura POV~
So we walked some more. And more. And more. And more.. until finally we reached the river (which is EXTREMELY cold, I might add) where Aragorn trots across and smiles stupidly at the woods of Lothlorien. Whoopity doo da, what fun, right? NOT.
So then we trot (sprint) happily (HA!!!) across a big open field (that's about five miles across), and by the time we reach the other side, Lauren's lungs (and mine) were about to fall out. Obviously, we weren't big runners. On the other side of the massive field of death, the woods of Lorien just suddenly appear.
When we stepped through into the trees, almost immediately we heard a sound that sounded like wind chimes. "Oooh, purdy music," Lauren said. I giggled hysterically. I'm not really sure why.
"Shh!" Gimli said. "Stay close, young friends," he murmured nervously. I think he was more scared than we were. "They say an evil sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf witch.. of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell, and are never seen again."
"Oh, shuddup, Gimli. You don't know shit about Galadriel," I muttered. Aragorn and Legolas turned around and looked approvingly at me.
"Well," he said huffily, "here's ONE dwarf she won't ensnare so easily."
"Oh really?" Lauren said sarcastically.
"Yes. I've got the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox." I made a "Psh!" sound to show my sarcasm.
We walked along a little ways, and came upon a stream. Legolas gasped. "Do you hear her voice?" he asked breathlessly.
"Whose?" Lauren and I said at the exact same time.
"Nimrodel's." He stared, enchanted, at the stream. Suddenly, I really COULD hear something. It sounded like a woman sweetly singing in a different language. "I shall sing a song about Nimrodel, who bears the same name as the stream we stand next to," Legolas said, sitting down on the roots of one of the massive trees. We all followed suit.
"An Elvin-maiden there was of old, A shining star by day: Her mantle white was hemmed with gold, Her shoes of silver-grey.
A star was bound upon her brows, A light was on her hair, As sun upon the golden boughs In Lorien the fair.
Her hair was long, her limbs were white, And fair she was and free; And in the wind she went as light As leaf of linden-tree.
Beside the falls of Nimrodel By water clear and cool, Her voice as falling silver fell Into the shining pool
Where now she wanders none can tell, In sunlight or in shade; For lost of yore was Nimrodel And in the mountains strayed.
The elven-ship in haven grey Beneath the mountain-lee Awaited her for many a day Beside the roaring sea.
A wind by night in Northern lands Arose, and loud it cried, And drove the ship from elven-strands Across the streaming tide.
When dawn came dim the land was lost The mountains sinking grey Beyond the heaving waves that tossed Their plumes of blinding spray.
Amroth beheld the fading shore Now low beyond the swell, And cursed the faithless ship that bore Him far from Nimrodel.
Of old he was an Elven-king, A lord of tree and glen, When golden were the boughs in spring In fair Lothlorien.
From helm to sea they saw him leap, As arrow from the string, And dive into the water deep, As mew upon the wing.
The wind was in his flowing hair, The foam about him shone; Afar they saw him strong and fair Go riding like a swan."
"Swan and shone don't rhyme," Gimli murmured. I kicked him harshly between the legs.
"But from the West has come no word, And on the Hither Shore No tidings Elven-folk have heard Of Amroth evermore."
Legolas stopped, and his voice quavered slightly. "I can't go on," he said sadly. "I have forgotten much, and the song is very long. It tells how sorrow came to Lothlorien, when the dwarves awakened evil in the mountains."
"But the dwarves did not MAKE the evil," Gimli argued.
"He didn't say that they did," I said angrily. Everyone looked at me, and it was just then that I realized I was crying. I hastily tried to wipe away the tears, but they just kept coming. "I'm sorry. I'm just a crier, I guess." I smiled slightly.
Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder. "I don't blame you. It is very sad, and we are all deep in anguish from the loss of Gandalf." If elves could cry (which they can't, to all of you who didn't know), I knew he would be crying, too.
"I'm sad, but things that are beautiful, like that song, make me cry, too. I'm just so sentimental."
"No kidding. You cried at the Blink-182 concert, you silly." I hit Lauren hard on her shoulder.
"We should get moving now. Thank you, Legolas," Aragorn said. The elf just nodded and stood up.
We walked for several more hours until it was nearly twilight. Legolas was really interested in the trees. "I'm going to climb up, and know how these trees grow. They are called the Mellyn trees. They have beautiful golden blossoms. Alas that it is winter!" he cried sadly, and I felt like I would start bawling.
He leapt up and grabbed a branch that was nearly ten feet over his head. Suddenly a voice called, "DARO!" He let go and fell to the ground and pressed us all against the tree trunk. "Be silent!" he said quietly. Far up above I heard some soft laughter, and Legolas looked up. He smiled and answered in the same language. Then he turned to us.
"Who are they?" Sam asked nervously.
"Elves, you retard," Lauren said disgustedly.
"What do they say?" Gimli asked grumpily.
"They say, Gimli, that you breathe so loud they could have shot you in the dark," Legolas answered with a smirk. Gimli looked up into the canopy and made a face. "But they said not to worry. They've been following us for a while, because they heard me sing next to the Nimrodel." He looked up and again spoke to the elves above us. "They told me to climb up. Frodo, you follow, and then Lauren and Laura. You all may come up if you wish, also." Legolas grabbed the rope ladder that had appeared from up above and practically ran up it.
Next went Frodo. After he was halfway up, Lauren turned to me. "You know I'm afraid of heights. You go up first, then call down and tell me how high it is." I nodded and started up the ladder. (Thank God I wasn't wearing a dress, huh? Heheh..)
When I was about halfway up also, I looked down. Lauren's face looked like a little speck. I shrieked quietly and gripped the ladder harder. I decided I should probably go up a bit more carefully, so I took it one step at a time.
Once I reached the top, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked up and saw an Elf, but it wasn't Legolas, although he looked a bit like him. Heheh, he was really hot, too. *snicker* He pulled me up, and I practically fell on top of him. "Whoopsies. Sorry 'bout that," I said hurriedly, then ran over to sit between Frodo and Legolas. The elf looked at me with a peculiar expression and blinked, then turned to Frodo. "Creoso*," he said. Frodo said something back, and then the elf spoke in English (thank god). *Okay, I'm PRETTY sure "Creoso" means Welcome, but I'm not positive. OH WELL. Screw it. I don't speak elvish, so don't give me any crap.
"Welcome. I am Haldir." He looked at me when I giggled. What? He was cute! "We have heard of your approach. Messengers from Elrond came to Lorien on their way home up from the Dimrill Stair. And since you have an Elf with you" -he gestured to Legolas- "you must be of whom they spoke. How many do you have with you?"
"Ten," Legolas answered. "Myself, four hobbits, and four humans. One of whom, Aragorn, is an Elf-friend of the folk of the Westernesse." Again I got really bored and pulled my Walkman out of my backpack. I inconspicuously slipped the headphones into my ears and put in my Simple Plan CD. I turned the volume down as low as I could and acted like I was listening to what they were saying.
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun then me
Tonight
I'm all alone
Tonight
Nobody cares
Tonight
Cause I'm just a kid
Tonight (Simple Plan- I'm Just A Kid) ~Lauren POV~
As I climbed up onto the little platform, Legolas was explaining who was with him. "Myself, four hobbits, and four humans," he answered to another blonde elf, whom I knew immediately must be Haldir. I turned to Laura. "You never called to me," I whispered. She shrugged and kept staring at Haldir.
"But you have only named nine," Haldir explained. "Who is the tenth member?"
Legolas hesitated slightly. "A dwarf," he murmured, sounding embarrassed.
"A dwarf!?" Haldir cried. "That's not good," he murmured to himself. Then he talked to the other two elves from Lothlorien who were next to him in Elvish. "Very well," he sighed. "He can stay. But we can't leave your friends on the ground, for there have been reports of orcs in Lorien. There is another talan* in the next tree. Some of you may stay here, and the others may sleep in the other one." *Talans are the platforms that the Galadrim (people from Lorien) build in some of the trees. They are used to sleep in or to hide in if there's danger.
Legolas nodded and went down the silvery ladder again. Laura and I were about to follow, but he held up his hand. "You don't need to come down. You may sleep here tonight; I will bring up your things." We nodded and sat back down.
"So," Haldir turned to us. "Where have you fair maidens come from?"
"We're.. erm.. uh.. from.." Laura looked at me.
"Gondor," I finished. "Yes. We're from Gondor."
"Indeed. And why have you accompanied the Fellowship to Lothlorien?"
"Because Elrond told us to?" Laura said hesitantly.
"I see. Well, I welcome you both to Lothlorien. Tomorrow we shall take you to see the Lady Galadriel," Haldir explained. "I suggest you take some rest to recover your strength, for it is a fairly long walk." He started to go down the ladder. "My companions and I shall be in the next tree. If you need anything, tell Legolas and he will let us know." I nodded.
"Bye Haldir!" Laura called sweetly. I rolled my eyes as she giggled.
~Legolas POV~
As I reached the ground, I turned to Aragorn and explained what Haldir had told us. "I see. Well, we are going to see Lady Galadriel tomorrow, and we shall tell her about.. about Gandalf," Aragorn said sadly.
I nodded. "Haldir says that there is a talan in that tree over there. You, Boromir, and the hobbits shall sleep there, while Laura, Lauren, Gimli, and I shall sleep in this tree."
I turned as Haldir came down the ladder. "We are leaving now. But we shall be back early tomorrow morning. Keep an eye on that dwarf!" he called as he and his companions disappeared into the woods.
I looked back at Aragorn. "You and the hobbits should probably go up now. Don't forget to pull up the ladder when you reach the top." He nodded and motioned for the others to follow him. I turned to the dwarf. "Come Gimli. We are going to sleep up here." He grumbled as he started climbing the ladder.
Once we reached the top (after about ten minutes, because Gimli was so slow), I gave Lauren and Laura their packs. "We must stay up here for the whole night," I explained. "There may be orcs around, and it is dangerous. Do not leave under any conditions."
"'Kay," Laura said sleepily. "G'night." She fell asleep almost instantly.
~Lauren POV~
I stayed up almost the whole night. For some reason I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I tried counting everything from sheep to the number of wrinkles on my palm, but nothing worked. I looked over at Laura, who was snoring loudly. I sat up and whapped her with my pack. "Shuddup. I'm trying to sleep."
"Gerfenelgijigit," she murmured, then fell back asleep.
Suddenly we heard footsteps below us. Legolas bolted to the edge of the talan and peered over. "Yrch!" he said disgustedly. "Stay silent!"
Laura had woken back up when he yelled "Yrch!" and was trembling. "Mommy.." she squeaked, and grabbed me in a bear hug.
"Blondie.. Lauren needs to breathe.." I gasped. "..Please?" *gasp*
"Oooh right.. sorry." She let go, and hugged her knees instead. Gimli picked up his axe and started muttering. It sounded like baby talk, quite frankly, but that's not the point.
Once the orcs had gone, Laura let out a sigh. "Thank the cheese gods!" she said to the sky. Legolas looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blinked several times, as elves tend to do when they are confused or seriously disturbed by a certain blonde girl who can't control her random outbursts.. sorry, getting off track again..
*ahem* Anyways, so the next morning we all merrily jumped off the talan and died.
THE END
Well, not really. But I really wanted to say that.. SO.. yes. Um, so we climbed down the silver-rope ladder thingy and met Haldir at the bottom.
"Good morning, fair maidens," he said, bowing. I thought Laura would faint. "Loser," I muttered. She kicked me.
"Now we must depart, and make for the palace of the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. The walk is long, and will take most of the day." Haldir turned and led us down the barely visible trail.
"Farewell, sweet Nimrodel!" Legolas cried. I don't believe I've ever seen someone quite so attached to a stream before. How odd.. Anywho, I looked at him with a disturbed expression. "Leggy," I said, "it's a STREAM. A stream. A little bit of running water-"
"Oh, stuff it, Prometheus. No one asked you." Laura defended Legolas. Heheh, back home, she's completely infatuated with the guy. Like one time, I went into-
~Laura POV~
SHUDDUP LAUREN!!! *ahem* Anyways, so we followed Haldir a ways down the path. (I had a very nice view, being right behind him and all *snicker*) After about an hour, we came to another stream.. actually, it was a river, but that's not the point.
"Behold the Celebrant," Haldir said proudly. (Woohoo, a stream, I thought.) "Its waters are swift, so we must cross using a bridge." He threw a rope across the stream, and another elf caught it and tied it to a tree.
"Nice bridge," I muttered. It was really cool, though, when he ran across it like it was a normal road, looking extremely hot while doing so, I might add.
When he came back, Legolas explained, "I can walk this path, but what of the others?"
"We can attach another rope above it," Haldir explained. Legolas walked across the rope (also looking very hot), while Haldir tied another rope a few feet about the lower one. Then he carried it across the stream and tied it on the tree. "Come!" he called. "You may cross."
"Me first!" I screamed. I grabbed the upper rope and quickly walked across the lower one. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I made it all the way across without falling off.
"Woohoo! Go me!" I yelled across the stream to Lauren.
"Showoff," I heard her say. She stepped onto the rope next, and made it across okay, but much more slowly.
"Well, I'm still better than you," I said snobbishly.
"Uh-huh. Whatever. Why don't you tell your boyfriend over there?" She pointed to Haldir, who was staring at us.
"Hi Haldir!" I said girlishly. He nodded his head. "Well done, young maiden. You are almost as light-footed as the elves." I started giggling hysterically.
"Put a sock in it, Blondie," Lauren said, shoving me. I just kept giggling.
~Legolas POV~
Valar, Laura was getting on my nerves. She just followed poor Haldir around like a puppy.. a seriously disturbed puppy. (Laura: I RESENT THAT!!! I'M HAPPILY LIVING WITH MY INSANITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!)
After walking for most of the rest of the day, we finally reached the middle of Lothlorien, where Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn live. We made our way up a very long flight of stairs, up into the canopy of the trees, Laura still blabbing on about something.
When we reached the palace (which, I heard Lauren say, looks exactly like it did in the movie.. Movie? What is a movie?..), we were told to wait at the bottom of a short flight of stairs. A few minutes later, Celeborn and Galadriel appeared. The Lady Galadriel was more beautiful than I ever imagined-
~Lauren POV~
BEAUTIFUL?? HA!!! *rolls on the floor laughing* HOW ABOUT CREEPY AND INSANE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*ahem* Sorry.. Anywho, so Creepy Elf Witch Lady comes down with Creepy Elf King Dude, and I was all freaked out 'cause they both are terrifying.
So they walk down the stairs, and Galadriel is staring at us like we're some sort of pond scum or whatever.
"Ten there are here yet eleven there were set out from Rivendell*. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him." Celeborn stared hard at Aragorn, as did Galadriel.(*Wow, that sounds really weird, don't it? Heheh..)
"He..has..fallen..into..shadow.." Galadriel said in a reeeeally creepy voice. (That's what all the periods mean, just to let you know.) "The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife." *shiver* "Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all." She turned and looked at Boromir, who started to cry. "But hope remains while the company is true." Here she looked at Sam, who blushed and stared at the ground. "Do not let your hearts be troubled, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight, you shall sleep in peace." She looked at Frodo, and started acting all weird. I shivered.. again..
Then she looked at me. I heard a voice inside my head.
"Do you fear me, child?" I looked up at her.
"Do you want me to tell the truth?" I said to her mentally.
"Even if you do not, I shall still know the truth. Do not try to lie to me. It would be useless."
I sighed. "Yes, my lady. To be quite honest, I am terrified of you. But I don't think you're evil."
"I see." She turned away and stared at Laura.
~Laura POV~
Think happy thoughts... think happy thoughts.. pink ponies running through fields of daisies.. Yeek!! She's looking at me! I thought. Oh no, oh no, oh no..
"And you, young maid. What troubles you?" I heard her inside my head.
"My lady, I'm afraid. I want to go home, and, frankly, you scare the bejesus out of me," I said back in a firm voice.. well, not really a voice, but you know what I mean.
"Indeed. Why are you frightened of me?" She stared into my eyes.
"You're creepy," I stated simply.
She smiled. "Am I? Well, I apologize for being 'creepy'. Do not be troubled by me, my child. I will do you no harm."
"I know." I smiled slightly, and she turned away.
A while later, we were excused, and Haldir (*sigh*) led us to where we would sleep for the night. "Have a good evening, my friends. Sweet dreams, arwen en amin." He kissed my hand, and I came this close (---) to fainting.
"G'night," I said dreamily. Legolas and Lauren both gave a disgusted sigh. "Shuddup you two," I growled.
"Poor Haldir," Legolas said sadly, shaking his head. "Alas that he should be followed around by a disturbed blonde-haired child.. OW!!!" I punched him really hard in the stomach and he fell down.
"Oooh, I'm sowwy, Wegowas. Did I huwt you? Poor baby." I knelt down next to him and patted his head. "Perhaps I should get some anger management, huh?"
"You could say that again," he muttered in a strained voice. "Demon child."
"I resent that, too! First you call me insane, and then you.. wait a minute.. how did I know that you called me insane? Is someone writing a very messed up fanfiction or something? HEY!! GET OUTTA HERE, YA FREAK!!!" I yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Lauren muttered.
"Never mind. Let's just get some sleep." I laid down on my little cot/couch/bed/thingy. "G'night, all!"
~Lauren POV~
Okay, I think that Creepy Elf Witch Lady put some insomnia spell on Lothlorien or something, 'cause I couldn't sleep that night either. I watched as everyone else happily drifted off to dreamland, but I stayed awake.
I looked over at Legolas. Yeesh, he looks creepy sleeping with his eyes open. I shuddered and turned away.
Suddenly I heard a soft rustling noise. I closed my eyes just as Galadriel walked by. I peeked and watched as Frodo got up and followed her.
"Laura!! Laura, get up!" I shook the demon teenager.
"Did I get it right, Alex? Do I win the Daily Double?" she muttered.
I smacked her face. "Wake up, you dumbass. Galadriel just went by."
Immediately she became wide-awake. "You mean Creepy Elf Witch Lady?" she asked with a shudder.
"Yes! C'mon!" I gestured and we followed Frodo.
After about three minutes we came to a small clearing about ten feet below us. Frodo and Galadriel walked down a flight of stairs, where there was a pedestal and a small pool. We hid behind some gigantic ferns.
"Will you look in the Mirror?" Galadriel asked, dipping a pitcher into the pool
"What will I see?"
"Even the wisest cannot tell, for the Mirror shows many things. Things that were.." She walked towards the pedestal, "Things that are.." She poured the water into the little bowl, holding the pitcher equal with her head and splashing the water everywhere, "And some things.." she finished pouring the water, "That have not yet come to pass."
Frodo stepped up to the pedestal and looked into it, then at her. She looked at him, then down at the bowl. Immediately, Laura and I could see the water begin to shake. Frodo peered closer at it. Suddenly some unseen force pulled the Ring out from under his shirt and closer to the surface. The water glowed red, and we heard an evil voice start to mutter. Frodo got a panicked look on his face, then suddenly pulled away from the Mirror. He fell back onto the ground. Galadriel just stared at him.
Laura and I giggled. We always thought that this part in the movie was really funny, 'cause poor Frodo is sitting on his ass on the ground, and Galadriel just stares at him.
Evil Elf Witch Lady looked up at our hiding spot. "I have been aware of your presence, young children." Yeesh, it was the creepy inside-your-head Galadriel again. "Do not tell of what you have seen." She looked down at Frodo. "I know what it is you saw. For it has also been on MY mind." Then she just looked hard at him. We knew she was speaking to him inside his head. Frodo held out the ring.
"I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this," she muttered, holding her hand out over the Ring. Then she held her hands out to either side of her, like Rose in Titanic (which is the GAYEST movie I have EVER seen, by the way). "Instead of a dark lord you shall have a QUEEN!" she yelled.
And then, *gulp* she didn't turn green, ladies and gentlemen, but RED, which was TEN TIMES more terrifying. Her eyes became huge, and the irises turned yellow. "BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE!! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!!" she screamed. And then, she went back to normal, a shocked look on her face.
She gasped and looked at Frodo with an ashamed expression. "I pass the test," she said quietly. "I shall diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel." She turned away.
Frodo put the chain that the Ring was on back around his neck. "I cannot do this alone," he said nervously.
Galadriel turned back to him with a smile on her face. "To be a Ringbearer is to be alone," she said quietly. Then she bent over to look him in the face. "Even the smallest person can do great things," she said soothingly.
Laura silently stood up and beckoned me to follow her. We went back to our camp. I fell asleep with Galadriel's voice in my head. "Even the smallest person can do great things.."
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Well, children, you like? Good. Sorry this one wasn't very funny. I apologize. *tear tear* But the next chapter WILL be funny, I PROMISE!!! Although I am very proud of myself for incorporating the Simple Plan song into the story. *does touchdown dance* GO LAURA!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
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Lamoo: Goody! I'm glad you like it! Silly cats, think they're better than everyone.. I'm glad that you feel so special! Heheh.. yeah, Lauren and I have really sick minds
Naomi: I updated! Please don't hurt me! *cowers and hides in file cabinet* Yeek!
OKAY, RABID FANGIRLS!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY LEGGY-POO!! *brandishes plastic sword* BACK, DEMONS FROM HELL!!! BACK, I SAY!!!
Laura: I own all of them! *hugs the Fellowship, and ghost of Tolkien appears*
Lauren: Uh, Laura?
Laura: What? Oooh, crap.
Tolkien: Let them go. *Laura lets all of them go except Legolas, who tries to run away, but Laura grabs his braid before he can get away*
Legolas: Yeek! Ouch.
Laura: Okay, I only own my Leggy poo.
Legolas: Leggy poo??? YOURS??? Hey!
Tolkien: Ahem?
Laura: Pwease? *puppy face*
Tolkien: NO.
Lauren and Laura: Damn. *lets Legolas go*
Legolas: I'M FREE!!! WOOHOO!!! *runs away happily*
Laura and Lauren: *wail* We don't. own. ANY OF THEM!!! *fall on each other bawling*
Random comment for the chapter: Aragorn looks really gay when he's stabbing the cave troll with the spear thing. ^.^ Heheh, like this: :-B Heheh, evil buck-toothed geek.
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Chapter 6: The creepy elf lady talks to the FPT inside their heads
~Laura POV~
So we walked some more. And more. And more. And more.. until finally we reached the river (which is EXTREMELY cold, I might add) where Aragorn trots across and smiles stupidly at the woods of Lothlorien. Whoopity doo da, what fun, right? NOT.
So then we trot (sprint) happily (HA!!!) across a big open field (that's about five miles across), and by the time we reach the other side, Lauren's lungs (and mine) were about to fall out. Obviously, we weren't big runners. On the other side of the massive field of death, the woods of Lorien just suddenly appear.
When we stepped through into the trees, almost immediately we heard a sound that sounded like wind chimes. "Oooh, purdy music," Lauren said. I giggled hysterically. I'm not really sure why.
"Shh!" Gimli said. "Stay close, young friends," he murmured nervously. I think he was more scared than we were. "They say an evil sorceress lives in these woods. An Elf witch.. of terrible power. All who look upon her fall under her spell, and are never seen again."
"Oh, shuddup, Gimli. You don't know shit about Galadriel," I muttered. Aragorn and Legolas turned around and looked approvingly at me.
"Well," he said huffily, "here's ONE dwarf she won't ensnare so easily."
"Oh really?" Lauren said sarcastically.
"Yes. I've got the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox." I made a "Psh!" sound to show my sarcasm.
We walked along a little ways, and came upon a stream. Legolas gasped. "Do you hear her voice?" he asked breathlessly.
"Whose?" Lauren and I said at the exact same time.
"Nimrodel's." He stared, enchanted, at the stream. Suddenly, I really COULD hear something. It sounded like a woman sweetly singing in a different language. "I shall sing a song about Nimrodel, who bears the same name as the stream we stand next to," Legolas said, sitting down on the roots of one of the massive trees. We all followed suit.
"An Elvin-maiden there was of old, A shining star by day: Her mantle white was hemmed with gold, Her shoes of silver-grey.
A star was bound upon her brows, A light was on her hair, As sun upon the golden boughs In Lorien the fair.
Her hair was long, her limbs were white, And fair she was and free; And in the wind she went as light As leaf of linden-tree.
Beside the falls of Nimrodel By water clear and cool, Her voice as falling silver fell Into the shining pool
Where now she wanders none can tell, In sunlight or in shade; For lost of yore was Nimrodel And in the mountains strayed.
The elven-ship in haven grey Beneath the mountain-lee Awaited her for many a day Beside the roaring sea.
A wind by night in Northern lands Arose, and loud it cried, And drove the ship from elven-strands Across the streaming tide.
When dawn came dim the land was lost The mountains sinking grey Beyond the heaving waves that tossed Their plumes of blinding spray.
Amroth beheld the fading shore Now low beyond the swell, And cursed the faithless ship that bore Him far from Nimrodel.
Of old he was an Elven-king, A lord of tree and glen, When golden were the boughs in spring In fair Lothlorien.
From helm to sea they saw him leap, As arrow from the string, And dive into the water deep, As mew upon the wing.
The wind was in his flowing hair, The foam about him shone; Afar they saw him strong and fair Go riding like a swan."
"Swan and shone don't rhyme," Gimli murmured. I kicked him harshly between the legs.
"But from the West has come no word, And on the Hither Shore No tidings Elven-folk have heard Of Amroth evermore."
Legolas stopped, and his voice quavered slightly. "I can't go on," he said sadly. "I have forgotten much, and the song is very long. It tells how sorrow came to Lothlorien, when the dwarves awakened evil in the mountains."
"But the dwarves did not MAKE the evil," Gimli argued.
"He didn't say that they did," I said angrily. Everyone looked at me, and it was just then that I realized I was crying. I hastily tried to wipe away the tears, but they just kept coming. "I'm sorry. I'm just a crier, I guess." I smiled slightly.
Legolas laid a hand on my shoulder. "I don't blame you. It is very sad, and we are all deep in anguish from the loss of Gandalf." If elves could cry (which they can't, to all of you who didn't know), I knew he would be crying, too.
"I'm sad, but things that are beautiful, like that song, make me cry, too. I'm just so sentimental."
"No kidding. You cried at the Blink-182 concert, you silly." I hit Lauren hard on her shoulder.
"We should get moving now. Thank you, Legolas," Aragorn said. The elf just nodded and stood up.
We walked for several more hours until it was nearly twilight. Legolas was really interested in the trees. "I'm going to climb up, and know how these trees grow. They are called the Mellyn trees. They have beautiful golden blossoms. Alas that it is winter!" he cried sadly, and I felt like I would start bawling.
He leapt up and grabbed a branch that was nearly ten feet over his head. Suddenly a voice called, "DARO!" He let go and fell to the ground and pressed us all against the tree trunk. "Be silent!" he said quietly. Far up above I heard some soft laughter, and Legolas looked up. He smiled and answered in the same language. Then he turned to us.
"Who are they?" Sam asked nervously.
"Elves, you retard," Lauren said disgustedly.
"What do they say?" Gimli asked grumpily.
"They say, Gimli, that you breathe so loud they could have shot you in the dark," Legolas answered with a smirk. Gimli looked up into the canopy and made a face. "But they said not to worry. They've been following us for a while, because they heard me sing next to the Nimrodel." He looked up and again spoke to the elves above us. "They told me to climb up. Frodo, you follow, and then Lauren and Laura. You all may come up if you wish, also." Legolas grabbed the rope ladder that had appeared from up above and practically ran up it.
Next went Frodo. After he was halfway up, Lauren turned to me. "You know I'm afraid of heights. You go up first, then call down and tell me how high it is." I nodded and started up the ladder. (Thank God I wasn't wearing a dress, huh? Heheh..)
When I was about halfway up also, I looked down. Lauren's face looked like a little speck. I shrieked quietly and gripped the ladder harder. I decided I should probably go up a bit more carefully, so I took it one step at a time.
Once I reached the top, I felt someone grab my hand. I looked up and saw an Elf, but it wasn't Legolas, although he looked a bit like him. Heheh, he was really hot, too. *snicker* He pulled me up, and I practically fell on top of him. "Whoopsies. Sorry 'bout that," I said hurriedly, then ran over to sit between Frodo and Legolas. The elf looked at me with a peculiar expression and blinked, then turned to Frodo. "Creoso*," he said. Frodo said something back, and then the elf spoke in English (thank god). *Okay, I'm PRETTY sure "Creoso" means Welcome, but I'm not positive. OH WELL. Screw it. I don't speak elvish, so don't give me any crap.
"Welcome. I am Haldir." He looked at me when I giggled. What? He was cute! "We have heard of your approach. Messengers from Elrond came to Lorien on their way home up from the Dimrill Stair. And since you have an Elf with you" -he gestured to Legolas- "you must be of whom they spoke. How many do you have with you?"
"Ten," Legolas answered. "Myself, four hobbits, and four humans. One of whom, Aragorn, is an Elf-friend of the folk of the Westernesse." Again I got really bored and pulled my Walkman out of my backpack. I inconspicuously slipped the headphones into my ears and put in my Simple Plan CD. I turned the volume down as low as I could and acted like I was listening to what they were saying.
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun then me
Tonight
I'm all alone
Tonight
Nobody cares
Tonight
Cause I'm just a kid
Tonight (Simple Plan- I'm Just A Kid) ~Lauren POV~
As I climbed up onto the little platform, Legolas was explaining who was with him. "Myself, four hobbits, and four humans," he answered to another blonde elf, whom I knew immediately must be Haldir. I turned to Laura. "You never called to me," I whispered. She shrugged and kept staring at Haldir.
"But you have only named nine," Haldir explained. "Who is the tenth member?"
Legolas hesitated slightly. "A dwarf," he murmured, sounding embarrassed.
"A dwarf!?" Haldir cried. "That's not good," he murmured to himself. Then he talked to the other two elves from Lothlorien who were next to him in Elvish. "Very well," he sighed. "He can stay. But we can't leave your friends on the ground, for there have been reports of orcs in Lorien. There is another talan* in the next tree. Some of you may stay here, and the others may sleep in the other one." *Talans are the platforms that the Galadrim (people from Lorien) build in some of the trees. They are used to sleep in or to hide in if there's danger.
Legolas nodded and went down the silvery ladder again. Laura and I were about to follow, but he held up his hand. "You don't need to come down. You may sleep here tonight; I will bring up your things." We nodded and sat back down.
"So," Haldir turned to us. "Where have you fair maidens come from?"
"We're.. erm.. uh.. from.." Laura looked at me.
"Gondor," I finished. "Yes. We're from Gondor."
"Indeed. And why have you accompanied the Fellowship to Lothlorien?"
"Because Elrond told us to?" Laura said hesitantly.
"I see. Well, I welcome you both to Lothlorien. Tomorrow we shall take you to see the Lady Galadriel," Haldir explained. "I suggest you take some rest to recover your strength, for it is a fairly long walk." He started to go down the ladder. "My companions and I shall be in the next tree. If you need anything, tell Legolas and he will let us know." I nodded.
"Bye Haldir!" Laura called sweetly. I rolled my eyes as she giggled.
~Legolas POV~
As I reached the ground, I turned to Aragorn and explained what Haldir had told us. "I see. Well, we are going to see Lady Galadriel tomorrow, and we shall tell her about.. about Gandalf," Aragorn said sadly.
I nodded. "Haldir says that there is a talan in that tree over there. You, Boromir, and the hobbits shall sleep there, while Laura, Lauren, Gimli, and I shall sleep in this tree."
I turned as Haldir came down the ladder. "We are leaving now. But we shall be back early tomorrow morning. Keep an eye on that dwarf!" he called as he and his companions disappeared into the woods.
I looked back at Aragorn. "You and the hobbits should probably go up now. Don't forget to pull up the ladder when you reach the top." He nodded and motioned for the others to follow him. I turned to the dwarf. "Come Gimli. We are going to sleep up here." He grumbled as he started climbing the ladder.
Once we reached the top (after about ten minutes, because Gimli was so slow), I gave Lauren and Laura their packs. "We must stay up here for the whole night," I explained. "There may be orcs around, and it is dangerous. Do not leave under any conditions."
"'Kay," Laura said sleepily. "G'night." She fell asleep almost instantly.
~Lauren POV~
I stayed up almost the whole night. For some reason I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I tried counting everything from sheep to the number of wrinkles on my palm, but nothing worked. I looked over at Laura, who was snoring loudly. I sat up and whapped her with my pack. "Shuddup. I'm trying to sleep."
"Gerfenelgijigit," she murmured, then fell back asleep.
Suddenly we heard footsteps below us. Legolas bolted to the edge of the talan and peered over. "Yrch!" he said disgustedly. "Stay silent!"
Laura had woken back up when he yelled "Yrch!" and was trembling. "Mommy.." she squeaked, and grabbed me in a bear hug.
"Blondie.. Lauren needs to breathe.." I gasped. "..Please?" *gasp*
"Oooh right.. sorry." She let go, and hugged her knees instead. Gimli picked up his axe and started muttering. It sounded like baby talk, quite frankly, but that's not the point.
Once the orcs had gone, Laura let out a sigh. "Thank the cheese gods!" she said to the sky. Legolas looked at her with a raised eyebrow and blinked several times, as elves tend to do when they are confused or seriously disturbed by a certain blonde girl who can't control her random outbursts.. sorry, getting off track again..
*ahem* Anyways, so the next morning we all merrily jumped off the talan and died.
THE END
Well, not really. But I really wanted to say that.. SO.. yes. Um, so we climbed down the silver-rope ladder thingy and met Haldir at the bottom.
"Good morning, fair maidens," he said, bowing. I thought Laura would faint. "Loser," I muttered. She kicked me.
"Now we must depart, and make for the palace of the Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. The walk is long, and will take most of the day." Haldir turned and led us down the barely visible trail.
"Farewell, sweet Nimrodel!" Legolas cried. I don't believe I've ever seen someone quite so attached to a stream before. How odd.. Anywho, I looked at him with a disturbed expression. "Leggy," I said, "it's a STREAM. A stream. A little bit of running water-"
"Oh, stuff it, Prometheus. No one asked you." Laura defended Legolas. Heheh, back home, she's completely infatuated with the guy. Like one time, I went into-
~Laura POV~
SHUDDUP LAUREN!!! *ahem* Anyways, so we followed Haldir a ways down the path. (I had a very nice view, being right behind him and all *snicker*) After about an hour, we came to another stream.. actually, it was a river, but that's not the point.
"Behold the Celebrant," Haldir said proudly. (Woohoo, a stream, I thought.) "Its waters are swift, so we must cross using a bridge." He threw a rope across the stream, and another elf caught it and tied it to a tree.
"Nice bridge," I muttered. It was really cool, though, when he ran across it like it was a normal road, looking extremely hot while doing so, I might add.
When he came back, Legolas explained, "I can walk this path, but what of the others?"
"We can attach another rope above it," Haldir explained. Legolas walked across the rope (also looking very hot), while Haldir tied another rope a few feet about the lower one. Then he carried it across the stream and tied it on the tree. "Come!" he called. "You may cross."
"Me first!" I screamed. I grabbed the upper rope and quickly walked across the lower one. It was much easier than I thought it would be. I made it all the way across without falling off.
"Woohoo! Go me!" I yelled across the stream to Lauren.
"Showoff," I heard her say. She stepped onto the rope next, and made it across okay, but much more slowly.
"Well, I'm still better than you," I said snobbishly.
"Uh-huh. Whatever. Why don't you tell your boyfriend over there?" She pointed to Haldir, who was staring at us.
"Hi Haldir!" I said girlishly. He nodded his head. "Well done, young maiden. You are almost as light-footed as the elves." I started giggling hysterically.
"Put a sock in it, Blondie," Lauren said, shoving me. I just kept giggling.
~Legolas POV~
Valar, Laura was getting on my nerves. She just followed poor Haldir around like a puppy.. a seriously disturbed puppy. (Laura: I RESENT THAT!!! I'M HAPPILY LIVING WITH MY INSANITY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!)
After walking for most of the rest of the day, we finally reached the middle of Lothlorien, where Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn live. We made our way up a very long flight of stairs, up into the canopy of the trees, Laura still blabbing on about something.
When we reached the palace (which, I heard Lauren say, looks exactly like it did in the movie.. Movie? What is a movie?..), we were told to wait at the bottom of a short flight of stairs. A few minutes later, Celeborn and Galadriel appeared. The Lady Galadriel was more beautiful than I ever imagined-
~Lauren POV~
BEAUTIFUL?? HA!!! *rolls on the floor laughing* HOW ABOUT CREEPY AND INSANE!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*ahem* Sorry.. Anywho, so Creepy Elf Witch Lady comes down with Creepy Elf King Dude, and I was all freaked out 'cause they both are terrifying.
So they walk down the stairs, and Galadriel is staring at us like we're some sort of pond scum or whatever.
"Ten there are here yet eleven there were set out from Rivendell*. Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him." Celeborn stared hard at Aragorn, as did Galadriel.(*Wow, that sounds really weird, don't it? Heheh..)
"He..has..fallen..into..shadow.." Galadriel said in a reeeeally creepy voice. (That's what all the periods mean, just to let you know.) "The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife." *shiver* "Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all." She turned and looked at Boromir, who started to cry. "But hope remains while the company is true." Here she looked at Sam, who blushed and stared at the ground. "Do not let your hearts be troubled, for you are weary with sorrow and much toil. Tonight, you shall sleep in peace." She looked at Frodo, and started acting all weird. I shivered.. again..
Then she looked at me. I heard a voice inside my head.
"Do you fear me, child?" I looked up at her.
"Do you want me to tell the truth?" I said to her mentally.
"Even if you do not, I shall still know the truth. Do not try to lie to me. It would be useless."
I sighed. "Yes, my lady. To be quite honest, I am terrified of you. But I don't think you're evil."
"I see." She turned away and stared at Laura.
~Laura POV~
Think happy thoughts... think happy thoughts.. pink ponies running through fields of daisies.. Yeek!! She's looking at me! I thought. Oh no, oh no, oh no..
"And you, young maid. What troubles you?" I heard her inside my head.
"My lady, I'm afraid. I want to go home, and, frankly, you scare the bejesus out of me," I said back in a firm voice.. well, not really a voice, but you know what I mean.
"Indeed. Why are you frightened of me?" She stared into my eyes.
"You're creepy," I stated simply.
She smiled. "Am I? Well, I apologize for being 'creepy'. Do not be troubled by me, my child. I will do you no harm."
"I know." I smiled slightly, and she turned away.
A while later, we were excused, and Haldir (*sigh*) led us to where we would sleep for the night. "Have a good evening, my friends. Sweet dreams, arwen en amin." He kissed my hand, and I came this close (---) to fainting.
"G'night," I said dreamily. Legolas and Lauren both gave a disgusted sigh. "Shuddup you two," I growled.
"Poor Haldir," Legolas said sadly, shaking his head. "Alas that he should be followed around by a disturbed blonde-haired child.. OW!!!" I punched him really hard in the stomach and he fell down.
"Oooh, I'm sowwy, Wegowas. Did I huwt you? Poor baby." I knelt down next to him and patted his head. "Perhaps I should get some anger management, huh?"
"You could say that again," he muttered in a strained voice. "Demon child."
"I resent that, too! First you call me insane, and then you.. wait a minute.. how did I know that you called me insane? Is someone writing a very messed up fanfiction or something? HEY!! GET OUTTA HERE, YA FREAK!!!" I yelled.
"What are you talking about?" Lauren muttered.
"Never mind. Let's just get some sleep." I laid down on my little cot/couch/bed/thingy. "G'night, all!"
~Lauren POV~
Okay, I think that Creepy Elf Witch Lady put some insomnia spell on Lothlorien or something, 'cause I couldn't sleep that night either. I watched as everyone else happily drifted off to dreamland, but I stayed awake.
I looked over at Legolas. Yeesh, he looks creepy sleeping with his eyes open. I shuddered and turned away.
Suddenly I heard a soft rustling noise. I closed my eyes just as Galadriel walked by. I peeked and watched as Frodo got up and followed her.
"Laura!! Laura, get up!" I shook the demon teenager.
"Did I get it right, Alex? Do I win the Daily Double?" she muttered.
I smacked her face. "Wake up, you dumbass. Galadriel just went by."
Immediately she became wide-awake. "You mean Creepy Elf Witch Lady?" she asked with a shudder.
"Yes! C'mon!" I gestured and we followed Frodo.
After about three minutes we came to a small clearing about ten feet below us. Frodo and Galadriel walked down a flight of stairs, where there was a pedestal and a small pool. We hid behind some gigantic ferns.
"Will you look in the Mirror?" Galadriel asked, dipping a pitcher into the pool
"What will I see?"
"Even the wisest cannot tell, for the Mirror shows many things. Things that were.." She walked towards the pedestal, "Things that are.." She poured the water into the little bowl, holding the pitcher equal with her head and splashing the water everywhere, "And some things.." she finished pouring the water, "That have not yet come to pass."
Frodo stepped up to the pedestal and looked into it, then at her. She looked at him, then down at the bowl. Immediately, Laura and I could see the water begin to shake. Frodo peered closer at it. Suddenly some unseen force pulled the Ring out from under his shirt and closer to the surface. The water glowed red, and we heard an evil voice start to mutter. Frodo got a panicked look on his face, then suddenly pulled away from the Mirror. He fell back onto the ground. Galadriel just stared at him.
Laura and I giggled. We always thought that this part in the movie was really funny, 'cause poor Frodo is sitting on his ass on the ground, and Galadriel just stares at him.
Evil Elf Witch Lady looked up at our hiding spot. "I have been aware of your presence, young children." Yeesh, it was the creepy inside-your-head Galadriel again. "Do not tell of what you have seen." She looked down at Frodo. "I know what it is you saw. For it has also been on MY mind." Then she just looked hard at him. We knew she was speaking to him inside his head. Frodo held out the ring.
"I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this," she muttered, holding her hand out over the Ring. Then she held her hands out to either side of her, like Rose in Titanic (which is the GAYEST movie I have EVER seen, by the way). "Instead of a dark lord you shall have a QUEEN!" she yelled.
And then, *gulp* she didn't turn green, ladies and gentlemen, but RED, which was TEN TIMES more terrifying. Her eyes became huge, and the irises turned yellow. "BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE!! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!!" she screamed. And then, she went back to normal, a shocked look on her face.
She gasped and looked at Frodo with an ashamed expression. "I pass the test," she said quietly. "I shall diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel." She turned away.
Frodo put the chain that the Ring was on back around his neck. "I cannot do this alone," he said nervously.
Galadriel turned back to him with a smile on her face. "To be a Ringbearer is to be alone," she said quietly. Then she bent over to look him in the face. "Even the smallest person can do great things," she said soothingly.
Laura silently stood up and beckoned me to follow her. We went back to our camp. I fell asleep with Galadriel's voice in my head. "Even the smallest person can do great things.."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Well, children, you like? Good. Sorry this one wasn't very funny. I apologize. *tear tear* But the next chapter WILL be funny, I PROMISE!!! Although I am very proud of myself for incorporating the Simple Plan song into the story. *does touchdown dance* GO LAURA!!! WOOT WOOT!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lamoo: Goody! I'm glad you like it! Silly cats, think they're better than everyone.. I'm glad that you feel so special! Heheh.. yeah, Lauren and I have really sick minds
Naomi: I updated! Please don't hurt me! *cowers and hides in file cabinet* Yeek!
OKAY, RABID FANGIRLS!!! STAY AWAY FROM MY LEGGY-POO!! *brandishes plastic sword* BACK, DEMONS FROM HELL!!! BACK, I SAY!!!
