One Man's Love, One Babie's Hate by DoomaWriter

Author's Notes: Well, during the making of Chapter 2 of How it Might of Happened, a great idea came to me. I'll write about the raising of Goku! Plus it'd be a great outlet for all my insane ideas I couldn't fit into the others because plot kept getting in the way (Don't worry, there'll be some plot). So now I'm starting another story to fill up that huge wad of time I call my life. It beats getting a job or paying attention to the pain in my wrists.

Chapter 1: Discovery

The old man walked down the trail dragging a large fish behind him all the while. It was deep within a forest and the man lived all alone. He looked up to see smoke coming from a distance. He had remembered a large booming noise had sounded around there but left it alone, wanting to catch his fish. Well, seeing as how he had nothing to look forward to then picking out the large insides of his soon to be meal, why not go and check it out?

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Once the old man arrived at the spot he couldn't believe what he saw. A large crater, and inside it, a round white object was open. And sitting within it was...a baby? Now putting two and two together, the wise old man knew exactly what was going on. "The cosmic chicken has laid an egg of the chosen one! Fear not o poultry in the heavens, for I - Gohan - shall look after he who you have shot out of your celestrial-"

He was cut off as the baby started to cry. Gohan hopped down and gave a closer inspection. "Hmm...I see you've hatched without any problems...but you'll need some food won't you, chicken boy?" His eyes widened as they fell upon a monkey-like tail. What was the excuse for this? "This must be the sign of the chosen one! To identify that it is more than just a common human. The Omega tail!"

Ignoring the fact that he was basing all of this on absolutely nothing, the man picked up the young one and hopped off. Gohan was too obsessed with the baby to of noticed the fact that the "egg" was repeating "Wake up Kakarot, destroy the Earth." repeatedly.

"Now, I'm going to fix you up some delicious fish, how does that sound?"

The baby meerly stared at him. Despite its age, it apparently knew the expression for anger. This made sense, I mean, a godly being having to be raised by a mere mortal? That surely hurt his chicken-y pride.

"Hmm, not too happy, huh? How about a game?" Gohan tossed the baby up and caught it as it came down. "Whoopsie daisy!" He did it again. "Whoopsie daisy!" As he caught the baby the third time, it latched its teeth into his thumb, causing blood to squirt out in two directions.

"AAAHHH!!! SWEET MARY, THAT HURTS!!!" Gohan shook his hand violently but the baby held on. He ran through the forest screaming yet couldn't get the monkey-boy off. "Get off you son of a bitch!" Desprate, the old man slammed the child's head into a near by tree...yet nothing! "Egads, the God's have given him the skull from Hades!"

After banging the babies head into the tree for about three hours, the man gave up and decided to deal with the pain. He walked all the way home, dragging the little one behind him by the teeth.

Once home, Gohan slammed the giant fish onto his table. He got ready to slice and dice when something tickled his nose. He brushed it aside but it only came back. It was the child's tail. Gohan finally lost his temper when the tail shoved up his nose and grabbed onto it with his free hand.

The baby instantly opened its mouth wide. It showed pain on its face for a moment before drifting off to sleep. "Well I'll be damned...a weakness. Well, the chosen one can't have such a thing!" He picked up his fish- cutting knife and held it up. He quickly came down and stopped an inch from the tail. "What am I doing!? If I do this, I'll have no hold over the kid!"

Deciding the tail would stay, Gohan went back to working on the fish...after patching up his thumb.

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The baby woke up and found itself in a chair with some sort of towel wrapped around his waist and a bib. Don't ask me where Gohan found a bib in the middle of the woods. A large plate of fish sat in front of him. Across from the table the old man smiled.

"Go ahead, dig in. I didn't take out the bones because I figured the odds of a chicken god's son diing on a bone were pretty slim."

The little boy reached with his hands and picked out a chunk of fish. Gohan marveled on how the boy could sit up and even knew how to eat solid foods so soon. The fishy meat went into the boys mouth and he gave out a smile. He reached over for another piece.

Eleven seconds later...

Gohan had the child upside down and was frantically hitting its bottom, trying to get the fish bone out of his throat. It finally dropped out and the fish bone happened to be the whole head. Angry at this attempt upon his life, the baby grabbed Gohan's arm and sunk its teeth back into the poor man's thumb.

"AAAAHHHH!! WHY!?!?" Forgetting the lesson of the tail, Gohan began to beat the child's forehead into the table.

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Author's notes: Wow, isn't that a heart-warming scene? Well, that's it for Chapter 1. In the future, we'll get to the normal things you do with a baby like maybe changing it or...giving it a name. Got any sugestions? Tell me in your review.