A/N: this challenge was based on a picture. A little bit of explanation: I didn't want to make any of the actual character suffer (that's for later) so I made one up. The things Rei says about this person are completely made up; it's more like a 'what if' situation.
Many, many thankies to all who reviewed ^____^ I luv you peoples!
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I'll Be Here
Rei looked with dull, dead golden eyes into the open casket. There was a serene expression on his face; his eyes weren't puffy or red-tinged from crying, there weren't any traces of tears nor were his fists clenched at his side. If you had never met Rei, never got the chance to really get to know him, you'd think he was a cold, uncaring jerk. His friends knew better, however. They saw how much he was suffering, how much pain he was feeling, it pained them to see him so broken.
The Chinese youth felt empty, hollow on the inside. It was as if somebody had struck a hand into his gut and ripped everything out, leaving him nothing but an empty shell. There was also pain in the beginning, when he'd heard. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think, the sound of his own heart beating in his chest had seemed ominous even to him. Rei wanted to escape, to hide and never come out. He blamed himself, blamed the world, blamed every God he knew of. But he wouldn't cry; he promised himself he wouldn't. Now, the ache had settled to a dull throb, the tightness in his throat.
A warm hand on his shoulder, a soft, "I understand, Rei." The boy half-tuned to his blonde friend. He tried to manage a reassuring smile but failed by a long shot. Max understood what he was going through. He told Rei once that that's how he felt when his mother left him.
"Thanks, Maxie," he replied after a while.
Takao sidled over to him, his face unusually grim. The silence stretched between the two, punctuated only by the soft murmur of the people around him. Awkwardly, Takao patted Rei on the back, nodding meaningfully.
The other youth nodded in response, in understanding, and turned back to watch the person inside the velvet-upholstered coffin.
Rei didn't want to believe that he was burying his friend, he didn't want to believe that he was the one standing above the maw-like casket, watching someone so dear to him lifeless and oh so pale. He seemed so cold, his skin a painful shade of purplish-white, his eyes closed in tired crescents. Lei Ping [1] was his oldest friend, the person he once felt closest to, the person he considered his brother.
~*~*~
Kai watched over his distraught teammate from a shadowed corner. Rei's back was taught, tense beneath his dark suit, his hair lying limp between his shoulder blades. What was worse was that his face was completely devoid of emotion. The neko-jin's face was pale, drained of colour and its usual zesty flush. Rei's primrose lips were stretched in a hard line, a painful substitute for his jovial smile. His eyes were murky golden orbs, tired and dull without the sparkle.
Kai was there when Rei received the news of Lei Ping's death. He watched the other boy when he was talking on the phone, had seen his lips part as if in a silent shriek. He'd also seen the fight in Rei's eyes, between tears and desperation. Kai thought the other teen would break down and cry, scream or wail, ball his hands into fists and beat them on the floor. Instead, Rei bit his lip, hard, and remained still, as if wishing for everything to go away, and pretending it did.
Kai thought it was strange to watch his companion in such a morose state and know that he wasn't able to do anything. There was also a jolt of realization that he hated seeing Rei so sad, that he missed his smile. The slate-haired boy wanted to do something then, maybe say something to take the sting of the situation away. He didn't know what to do or say, though; he felt awkward and inadequate.
Even still, Kai had no idea what was a good course of action in a situation such as this. He had never lost anyone, had never considered anyone precious enough to lose. Besides which, Rei had Max, Takao and Kenny by his side; they had feelings, they weren't emotionless bastards, they'd be able to help him. And so Kai settled in to watch his comrade from his designated corner in his designated suit, his garnet-eyed intensity shielded behind a pair of simple glasses. He thought his eyes were too vibrant, filled with too much quiet fierceness for this occasion, so he hid them.
~*~*~
That night, Kai woke up, his body coated with a sheen of sweat and breath ragged in his throat. He looked about his room, his eyes dashing to this corner and that. It might have been just him, but the darkness seemed darker tonight, more enveloping and caressing than it usually was. Perhaps it was just his sleep-dazed mind's work or the menacing silence in the room, but Kai glanced at the bed beside his own, Rei's bed. From the light streaming through the window, he noted the flat surface of the bed where the other boy's body was supposed to be.
Kai frowned even deeper than he usually did and sat up in bed. From all his time sharing a room with Rei, the raven-haired boy had never just disappeared during the night. Kai thought he might have gone to the washroom or to get a drink from the small kitchenette in the room; only the shadows moved, as if having a life of their own, but no Rei.
He remembered the distressed look on his companion, remembered the almost-tears glisten just at the corner of Rei's eyes. 'That's right; the funeral was today,' Kai opined disdainfully, unwittingly glancing at the closet where a dreadful blue suit hung. When thinking this, the possibilities, all the 'what if' and 'maybe's concerning Rei, flooded into his mind. It was the middle of the night and of nowhere. Who would notice a poor, wretched boy cut his wrists or swallow too many pills until it was too late to turn back? Who would bother calling for help on the account of a stranger?
Apprehension and fear settled over in Kai's stomach, swirling and frothing until he couldn't withstand its hold anymore. He sprang out of bed, not comprehending why he was clenching his fists nor why his heart wanted to leap out of his throat, and dashed out the door, in search of his teammate – no, friend.
Once outside the one-story motel, Kai flew to the back of the building, where a small garden and brook were arranged for the guests. He'd studied Rei enough to realize that the boy was attracted to water, either lapping at his feet or murmuring in his ears. So, logically, it was the natural place for him to... end his life. Kai clenched his fists tighter, until the knuckles felt raw, and hastened his pace, almost desperately, forgetting that he was still in his sleeping attire.
When he reached the little garden alcove, he saw nothing but the rise and fall of trees and the night sky reflected off the surface of the water. He was about to run back to the motel in hopes of finding his friend there, when he fancied he saw a lump he previously thought was a rock move. The mound moved again, and Kai realized it was his renegade comrade. 'What does that idiot think he'd doing?!' he berated the raven-haired boy silently, clenching his teeth in anger. He ignored the little pang at the back of his – was it possible? – heart, and forcefully steeled himself from feeling relieved.
"What do you think you're doing?" Kai demanded, though not harshly, of Rei once he reached him. His own anger surprised him, made him feel guilty. He had no right to feel this way, had no reason for his heart skipping a beat when he thought of what Rei might have done...
Startled, the Chinese lad looked up to him, blinking animatedly. Kai wasn't fooled; he saw the misery in the amber orbs. "I like the water," Rei said quietly after a long while, lowering his gaze to the softly swirling brook, "it helps me relax."
"I know," the bluenette replied just as softly. If Rei hadn't listened, he would have mistaken it for the wind brushing at his mane.
Feeling awkward just standing there, Kai sat down beside his friend. The silence stretched between them, palpable, threatening. Kai found something so otherworldly in the scene. The stars twinkled mockingly down at him, as if trying to show him how pathetic he was compared to their glory. The waters of the brook were stingy and frigid against his bare feet, trying to punish him for something he didn't realize he'd done. The wind was bitingly cold for a summer's night, whipping his cotton shirt about his frame. Rei, too, was like a solitary statue, glowing coolly and rigidly in the moonlight.
"What do you think of when you look at the water?" Kai asked quietly, afraid that his voice would disturb the surreal atmosphere.
"Oh, nothing really," replied Rei, not looking up. "Sometimes I just sit and watch the waters flow. I don't think; I forget how to think. There is just the soft murmuring of water. Then at other times, when I allow myself to think, I just let the water carry my thoughts and feelings and memories onward, with it to wherever it flows. It doesn't hurt as much when you can't remember, you know?"
Kai nodded in understanding. "Ignorance is bliss."
"He was like a brother to me," began Rei after a long, uncomfortable silence. "He is – no, was – the son of the lady who took me in after my parents died."
Kai was shocked, he didn't expect Rei to tell him anything; he doubted Rei had that much trust in him. There were other people, of course, who would actually be able to help him, to do something other and sit like a fool, watching their friend suffer. The bluenette remained silent, allowing Rei to fill the void with his story.
"I was so frightened of him when they visited me in the hospital after the accident. He seemed big and menacing, I thought him to be a giant. Lei Ping always had a scowl on his face, as if he was mad at the world, or something. You remind me of him so much. He wasn't interested in beyblading, either. When I settled into my new home, almost every night I would make a bet with myself on how far I'd be able to run before the rest of the household woke up. On those nights he would catch me and drag me forcefully to bed; I thought him to be a gremlin then. We avoided each as much as possible, though he always followed me to my bey battles. I realized it later that he was there only to make sure I would be okay."
Rei sighed and laid his head on his hands, which were enveloping his knees. "That's how he always was. He cared too much about other people, I think. Lei Ping never did anything for just himself, it always to help this person or that. He was enrolled in high school, tried to get the best marks in the entire grade because he wanted to be a doctor, wanted to learn about medicine and help out the village.
"One time when I was five or so," he continued, "we were picking berries and flowers behind our house. Every second Saturday, Aunt would make her famous pie. I loved those; they were so tender and yummy when fresh, I would always burn my fingers when trying to steal a piece," Rei smiled wistfully at the memory. "So the two of us, Lei Ping and I, were behind the house in a small alcove not unlike this one. There was a river, too. Across from it, I saw this batch of pretty violets; Aunt loved violets, I wanted to give them to her as a 'thank you' gift. I jumped on the first few rocks in the riverbed – I really wanted those flowers. I don't remember how, but my foot slipped and I feel into the water."
Rei chuckled dryly to himself, as if to an old anecdote and continued, "The water wasn't deep, but I thought I was drowning. I was flailing my arms and crying for help when Lei Ping came out of nowhere and pulled me out," Rei laughed lightly, a sound Kai had dearly missed. "I was completely drenched, my hair – I didn't keep it tied back then – was plastered to my face and there was something squishy in my shoes. I tried to get up but there was a scratch on my knee, it bled and stung a bit. Lei Ping saw this and picked me up on his back to carry me into the house. While walking to the house, he asked me what I was trying to do, and then called me silly for attempting it. After he bandaged my knee, he went out and then came back with a bunch of violets in his hand. I asked him about them and he told me to mind my own business, but I still knew that it was the same flowers I wanted; his pants were wet at the hem."
Rei's voice was breaking at this point, his breath lodged in his throat and refusing to come out properly. After he began his story, it was as if a dam was broken. He couldn't stop the flow of words, despite the tightness in his throat. There was just something so comforting in sitting with his feet in the cold waters, softly telling his secrets to a close friend. The friend being Kai made it feel even more special. And though Kai had remained perfectly silent the entire time, Rei appreciated it anyway.
"He always looked out for me," he said brokenly, choking on a sob. "He only cared about me. When I was sick, he was the one to bring me medicine and make sure I swallowed it down. When I was striving to become a pro at beyblading, he was there at every single one of my battles, to make sure that nothing happened to me. He gave me his blessing when I decided to leave the village, and supported me still after that, in the letters we exchanged."
Kai stole a glance at Rei. The boy's shoulders were shaking with suppressed sobs, his eyes shut tight to prevent moisture from leaking through. He was biting his lips hard, trying to ignore the painful ball in his throat.
"He died in a car crash," Rei choked out, unwilling to stop the tirade of words, "the same way my parents did. He didn't make it to the hospital on time. Don't you just hate technology? People invent things to make us live better, easier, and yet there's no apparatus that'll stop a person from dying. In the end, the same technology that was supposed to be beneficial to us would kill us.
"Why did he have to die, Kai?" Rei asked, turning his face to his friend. Kai noted with a pang that there were traces of red on the neko-jin's face, as if he tried to scratch the hurt away, to peal it away like a second layer of skin. Rei's eyes were neither accusing nor beseeching, but searching, asking him for answers.
"I don't know. Fate?" Kai replied softly.
"Well, then Fate could have chosen another person to play cat's cradle with. Lei Ping was a good person, he didn't deserve to die. So why, then, did some cruel bastard was spared while he died? It's not fair."
"Things are never fair, Rei. Things just are. They come and go at will. Things happen for a reason. Maybe you don't realize it, maybe you don't want to accept it at this moment, but Lei Ping's death had its own purpose. Cherish the times you had with him, instead of the times you could have had. It is a waste of time dwelling in the past because you cannot, no matter how hard you try, get it back. Live for the moment, relish it while it still lasts, and forget about tomorrow or yesterday. That is what Lei Ping would have wanted of you."
"Oh, Kai!" Rei breathed out before crushing his face against the other boy's chest. Kai was startled, mouth askew and eyes wide. Rei's shaking body was pressed against his own, hands gripping at his shirt, and a curious moisture seeping through the material. He realized that Rei was crying. Rei hadn't shed a tear since he'd heard of the accident. Kai was confused, he didn't know what to do, he didn't know what he should have done, but he ignored all reasonable thought and brought his arms about the other boy's shaking form. Tenderly almost, he smoothed the nighttime tangles out of Rei's hair.
After a while, Rei's quiet sobs subsided to soft intakes of breath and hiccoughs, though he still did not remove his head from the crook between Kai's shoulder and neck.
"He told me he would never leave me. He said that he would always protect me. I guess he broke his promise," Rei said, his voice small and muffled by Kai's skin and shirt.
"I'll be here, then," replied Kai, his own voice hushed by sleepiness and Rei's hair. "Since he can't fulfill his promise, then I will do it for him. Just call me when you need me, and I'll come. Wherever and whenever you are, I'll be here."
His voiced carried softly over the small alcove and disappeared, dancing along the wind. He looked down and noted with an almost-smile that Rei was asleep. Kai's friend – his tongue felt awkward manoeuvring around the word – needed help, and he was glad he was there to grant it. And so, the two remained like that until the first rays of sunlight peeked through the clouds, safely nestled in each other's embrace. It was a promise, amongst many other things, and Kai would rather die several times over than break it.
(tbc)
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[1] I borrowed the name from Hikaru no Go, so no relation to Beyblading Lei/ Li/ Lee
Gawd; I almost hate this story.
