Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Power Rangers (*sob!*)

Summary: Some of the Rangers have to face one of their worst fears when tragedy strikes a former teammate.

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To Hell and Back -

Chapter Three: Forgive Me, Kim

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Rocky

Forgive me, Kim.

I guess it's kinda weird; me asking for your forgiveness and all. Because I wasn't that truck driver, and I wasn't even driving Kat's Mustang. But somehow I feel responsible for what happened to you - maybe because I sensed something was wrong and waited hours before I mentioned it. What if I'd said something sooner? What if I'd tried to find out who was hurt? Would things have ended differently?

I remember when you and I first met. Kat and Adam were planning a visit to Florida to watch you at a local gymnastics show, and they coaxed me into going along. I wanted to anyway; I was curious to meet the famous Kimberly Ann Hart, gorgeous gymnast, sweet angel, and irreplaceable friend.

You and I hit it off as soon as we met. You responded so well to my teasing and you even beat me at a pie-eating contest (and hell, we know how hard that is!). I knew from those few days in Florida that you had somehow snuck into my heart, like you always do with everyone else, and you had become a friend I could never replace in a million lifetimes.

What you told me the afternoon we flew back to Angel Grove still rings in my mind, you know. We were walking into the airport, Kat and Adam ahead, and I started talking about a gymnast we had watched on TV, who had been killed in a plane crash. And you smiled at me and said: "If something like that ever happens to me, Rock, don't dwell on it. I'd want you to be happy, for me if not for anything else, and eventually, I'd want you to forget."

This is really hard, you know, because I never once dreamed I'd ever lose someone I cared about. Sure, we were Rangers, but we always won. And I guess I grew cocky, because I thought good would always triumph and no hero would be lost. It was one of those worst fears I never faced. And now . . . did it have to be you? What did you do wrong?

Yeah, I think things have ended. And I'm rambling because I don't want to realize the truth of what I've just heard. Even Aisha's convulsing arms around me can't take away this blow that hits me harder than brick.

Because you flat-lined half an hour ago, and no amount of cardiac shock could rouse you again. I don't want to say it; it hurts so much to think it - but I have to.

You're dead.

I think I know now the real reason I'm asking your forgiveness, so I'll say it again. Forgive me, Kimberly, because I'll never forget.

**

Zordon

I've come close to death many times. I've been rescued and revived by my Rangers, and most of those times, you were right there to save me, Kimberly. I never dreamt of a role reversal.

You meant more to me than any child of mine could. You WERE my child; you could have been my own flesh and blood (if I had any), we were so alike. I remember the day you became a Ranger.

Like the others, you were shocked, stunned, maybe even a little indignant that Alpha had dared to suggest you dress up in anything so unfashionable as spandex. You made me laugh, something I hadn't done in a while, and as you showed true courage in the face of the unknown danger before you and grew to belong as a Pink Ranger, you lit up the cold caverns of the Command Centre and washed over us all with your warm glow.

You were my daughter in ways that ran deeper than blood.

Perhaps it was fatherly instinct, or maybe it was poor Alpha's sudden distress, but the Command Centre suddenly felt very cold and empty just over four hours ago. I think I knew immediately that I had lost you, but until I saw Kat beam into the darkness of our sanctuary, I refused to accept it.

And now? Now, I have no choice.

They need me to be strong. They need me to help them through their grief and to tell them that things will be all right; that you'd want them to be happy and that they have to move on.

Yet how can I do that when I don't believe a word of it?

I don't think I've ever told you how proud I am of you, Kimberly. As a woman, as a daughter, as a Ranger and as a human. I will miss you more than I could ever explain, but still . . . I am so proud of you. Forgive me for not letting you know.

**

Kat

This just can't be happening. Yet, there are so many signs that are telling me it is. Tommy's holding me tightly, but I can feel the pain in his arms and it tells me that he needs the comfort from our embrace as much as I do.

Adam is standing by the wall, his Asian face twitching with alternating spasms of grief and anger. He told us that he got through to Kim's mother in Paris, but that she could only get a flight for your funeral tomorrow evening. He says he can't read her dad. You can see the hurt he must be feeling, but he's refusing to cry, refusing to weaken, just so that he can be our strength now.

Aisha seems to be beyond tears. Telling Trini and Zack must have been painful. Neither of them, she says, can make it back for the funeral.

Funeral. That means death, doesn't it? Impossible.

Poor 'Sha - she seems to have cried her eyes out at the hospital and is now sitting limply in the couch of our apartment. She doesn't even want to speak or think anymore. I can see the irreplaceable sadness in her eyes every time she looks at the stairs that led up to Kim's room.

Oh, Kim. They're telling me you're gone. But I can't believe that. I can't let myself. What will happen to me if I believe that my sister is gone? What am I supposed to do without you?

Forgive me, Kim. But I won't cry for you. That would show that I'm accepting your loss, and I won't do that. The doctor said that it was strange - it was almost as if the life was STOLEN from you. It was stolen, Kim, which means that you shouldn't be dead.

I won't believe you're dead.

Rocky - oh, poor Rocky. He was leaning against the wall and just slid to the floor. He's buried his face in his hands and I think he's sobbing, because his shoulders are shaking, but neither Aisha nor Adam (who are going to him) seem to know how to help him. And how can they, when they can't even help themselves?

And me?

I'm numb. I can't afford to feel for you, Kim, because if I let this rigid control over my emotions break, I'm afraid that the grief of your loss, and the pain, may never stop.

**

Tommy

Hey, beautiful. I wonder where you are right now.

I miss you already, you know. You were always special to me; a light that always shone for me at the end of a dark tunnel.

Everyone's broken up over this. Kat seems to be in denial, and I'm afraid of the moment when she realizes you're truly gone and can't handle it.

Hell, Kim, I can't handle this.

I know I'm supposed to be the leader and all, and I know that if you could hear me, you'd laugh and remind me sternly that I'm supposed to watch over them and take care of them right now. I'm supposed to take control of this situation and handle it.

I'm sorry, Kim. I can't.

I managed to reach Jason an hour or so before you flat-lined. I didn't tell him what had happened; the words just wouldn't come. But he knew something was wrong and he asked me until I managed to choke out: "Come home, Jason. You need to come home right now." - and I hung up.

Poor Jase. He must be going crazy worrying about what might have happened. Although, something tells me he might already have some idea. You and he always had an insane connection; a bond and a relationship that braved all storms and completely mystified us, because we could never understand.

I remember when I first became a Ranger - a good one, that is. You and Jase, Kim, were the first ones to welcome me into the fold and make me feel at home. Both of you trusted me, while Billy and Zack and Trini (can't blame them, mind you) had their doubts about which side I was really on.

You attracted me right from the beginning, but I learnt a very important lesson very quickly: fuck with Kim and there'll be hell to pay from Jason. He protected you like a lioness with one cub, and anyone who hurt you may as well have signed his or her death warrant. Which was why I waited so long before asking you out. I knew the spectre of Jason Lee Scott would hover over my head, and if I dared to use you for stress relief or for physical purposes only, I had no doubt that Jason would have hopped on the first flight home from that peace conference to drill that first lesson in better.

The point is: I now fear for that truck driver. Because once Jason gets here and finds out that you're no longer there, he'll hide his grief beneath anger. And that truck driver will get his share of injuries. Maybe it wasn't his fault, Kim, but he didn't deserve to get off so easy.

I'm going on about nothing, because I don't want to say goodbye. And I won't. Not to you, Kim, and none of the others will say it either. I'm only terrified of facing Jason when he finds out. He'll be devastated.

**

Billy

I beamed into the Command Centre only seconds after Zordon contacted me with the news of Kim's accident. I didn't need to pack, I didn't need to hear any more - I wanted to go home where my oldest friend and my sister needed me.

But by the time I reached the hospital, she was gone.

9:56 p.m. Kimberly Ann Hart was pronounced dead by Dr. Alexander Drake.

The present Rangers were relatively grief-stricken, and I guess I was surprised. I didn't realized they all cared about Kim so much, but I was grateful that I had people to talk to as a way to keep from thinking about her.

I couldn't go over to Aisha's and Kat's after that, though. I couldn't go to the place where she lived. It's beginning to hurt so much . . .

I had Rocky drop me off at the Command Centre. Maybe he shouldn't have been driving; the poor guy seemed completely distraught. Strange, now that I think about it, that this pain seems to be draining every ounce of life from my heart region. It's strange because I always thought the head generated the emotions and that the heart was merely a pump, designated in relation to 'love' by us humans alone.

Seems like I was wrong. Guess Kim was right after all when she told me this day would come.

I just can't believe she's gone. The doctor told me that it was an unusual death; just when she seemed to be fighting for life, she suddenly seemed to give up and it was like the life was ripped away from her. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn Zedd or Rita would have had something to do with it . . . but that isn't their style, and they don't have the brains.

My God, how could this have happened to her? To KIM? She was the sweetest, most perky, most innocent young woman I'd ever known. She didn't deserve this. And I - I was off in Aquitar, not even there for her in her last moments.

This hurts. And you know that hurts the most? The fact that I'm imagining what she must have gone through without me, or Trini, or Zordon, or especially Jason, at her side. And now I need Jason to be here soon. He's the only one who will understand the depth of my pain now.

I'm so, so sorry that I wasn't there for her tonight, but if I know Kimberly Ann Hart at all, I hope she can forgive me.

**

Jason

This must be the longest flight I've ever been on. This damn plane seems to be moving like a snail.

Or maybe, it's just because I want to get to Angel Grove as fast as possible. I know something's wrong; something is very, very wrong. I think I sensed it this afternoon, but until Tommy called me about eight hours ago, it was only a seedling of fear.

Now that seedling is a huge ugly tree.

The note in Tommy's voice was pure terror, and pure sorrow. Something has happened in my hometown that shook Tommy to the core, and it takes a lot to throw the leader of the Rangers off like this.

So why is there a horrible feeling inside telling me it has something to do with you?

Oh, Kimmie. I've missed you so much. I was planning on a trip to AG anyway, just to see you, and although this isn't the ideal circumstance, I'm almost glad I have a reason to come.

I think I've loved you all my life, but I hadn't realized I'm IN love with you until we both went away and I start to miss you like crazy. Then I started to remember, all the times I'd feel those fierce pangs of jealousy when you were with Tommy, and all the protective instincts I feel for you.

Maybe it's asking too much to expect you to feel the same way for you, but believe me; I'd do anything for you. I'd go to the ends of the world for you; I'd even die for you in a heartbeat.

So many nights I spent aching to hold you and have you by my side. I dreamt of your hair, of your face, your lips, your body. This is insane, because we've been best friends - practically siblings - since we were old enough to throw insults! But I'm completely in love with you now, angel-girl, and nothing will change that.

And right now, I can still feel the anticipation and the tingling excitement of seeing you again. I can't help but daydream about how you'll run straight into my arms and fling your own around my neck, letting me hug you tight. Oh yeah, there's a hell of a lot of anticipation right now, but there's something else too.

Fear.

You see, I'm so terrified that if anything has happened to you, I may not be able to go on. I need you, Kim, in ways that no one will ever understand.

You'll probably be angry when you see me, because I've neglected you for so long. I haven't called, haven't emailed, and I haven't visited. Forgive me, Kim, for not being there for you. But I need you to believe me when I say I love you.

Please be waiting for me.

Please be all right.

I'm coming.

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TBC.

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A/N: Well, what did you guys think? This was a rather different style from the other chapters, but I thought readers might want to know how each of the characters reacted. I know Adam and Aisha haven't been done in detail, but that's supposed to imply that they're too upset and too lost to even think straight.

Anyway, please review because I always love and appreciate feedback. Thanks for all the great reviews so far! Next up will be 'Chapter Four: Enter Jason'. Enjoy!