Zar ran ahead of Goten, Trunks and I and opened the door. I staggered in after the chibis, hefting my ten large pizzas hopelessly. Just before I dropped them though, Kakarot took them from me and with ease set them on the table. Goten set down his fifteen larges and Trunks did too. Then they dashed out to get the Coca-cola we had left in the car. Vegeta and Mike were already sitting down at the set table and they tore into their pizza, closely followed by Kakarot and Zar. Goten and Trunks arrived with the five 2 liter bottles of coke and the last ten pizzas. I made sure each of the Saiyans had their own bottle of coke before I sat down.
I picked up two pieces to make sure they would not get devoured on accident. I set them on my plate and poured myself a glass of soda. I ate slowly, thoughtfully watching the Saiyans move at a speed that I would never be able to achieve.
I glanced at the clock. It was only six. Then, in the back of my mind, an alarm sounded. Six fifteen… Wednesdays… something happened in fifteen minutes… "Zar? What's happening in fifteen?" My gutei looked at the clock and shrugged. Then Mike looked at it.
"SHIT!" he jumped up and yelled at me, "The 'Authors Anonymous' meeting!"
"You're right!" I jumped up. The AA meetings were held every Wednesday and Saturday, "Okay, guys! Stuff your faces because we're hauling ass in five minutes!" I ran to my room to get my stuff. Mike followed me closely.
"Are you sure it's safe to bring Goku, Vegeta and all them to the meeting?" he asked as he stuffed his papers into his book bag.
"We can't leave them here and Vegeta will kill me if I hire a baby-sitter for him." I said with a grimace as I shouldered my bag.
"Yeah, but this is the anime meeting! We're gonna get creamed!" Mike complained as we returned to the living room.
"Yeah, but what else can I do? Leave them here with Zar? He'll make Goku and Vegeta hold up a bank or something!" I stopped talking then because I had arrived in the dining room. "Okay fellows! Clean up!" they all zipped about doing their tasks and finishing eating what little was left of the food. Then, we all piled into the car and I sped off to the meeting where my life would end.
"Omega!" I waved to the girl who had called out my penname and was walking over to me. Her brown hair reached her shoulders and her eyes were also brown. She was one of the few people in my Alaskan town with tanned skin. She was a half a foot shorter then I, standing at four foot nine. Everyone always teased her about her height but we had learned to be careful as there was apt to be a character similar to us in her next fic that would die a horrible death. She was my long time fanfic friend, Banana Girl.
She did have a real name, but I didn't know it and she didn't know mine even though we also knew each other in high school. It was the rules of the Authors Anonymous Club that authors only called each other by their pennames. It was an odd rule, but it was cool because it gave me a sense of having another personality or persona.
"Hey! Bana!" I grinned as we walked over to our accustomed table, "How are you doing?"
"Great! I got the next few chaps of my fic out!" she passed me the chaps and I grinned.
"Awesome! I've been waiting since Saturday for these babies!"
"Who are the studs with you?" Bana whispered as the Saiyans, Mike and Zar joined us.
"The boy sitting by me is my brother and the other guy is Darek. The last two, hot, buff, drop dead sexy stud muffins… well… you'll never believe this but…" I didn't have the time to tell her the rest, as that was when the chairman hollered for order.
"The fifty-eighth meeting of the fourth year Authors Anonymous will come to order!" the chairman bellowed.
"Awh, shut up!" a rude author called Jackal shouted as he jumped to his feet. He was glared at until he sat down again. He did that every meeting.
"Thank you for the customary introduction Jackal. Now if you'll please shut up," that brought chuckles from the gathered authors, "we can continue." Mac, the chairman, cleared his throat and picked up a list in front of him, "The bi-monthly awards will now be handed out. Once more, I will read the award, the title of the fic and then the author's summary.
"For the Most OOC Fic: Jackal's 'Good-bye Pan, Hello Krillin'. Trunks comes out about his love for Krillin after dating Pan for three years." Jackal was greeted by a load of hisses from the Trunks girls as he went to claim his award. He always won the Most OOC Fic award. He flipped off the crowd with a smirk as he sat back down.
"For the Oddest Crossover Fic: Omega's 'General Insanity'. What happens when Dende goes mad and brings in Barney, the Teletubbies, Sailor Moon and others into the DBZ world." I stood up and got a mixed reaction. I took my award, shrugged to the crowd and walked back to my seat.
"For the Best General Fic: Jeril's 'Another Boring Day… NOT!'. Merry is just an average eighteen year-old in whose room Vegeta just happens to land in. You all can guess what insanity occurs then!" Jeril stood up and bowed deeply to the many cheers that greeted her. She claimed her prize and sat down again. I straightened. Why does that scenario sound familiar? I will talk to her after the meeting…
"For the Funniest Fic: Banana Girl's 'The Official Fanfiction University of Dragonball Z'. What happens when an average DBZ author has to go to a University where Goku teaches you the art of ignorance and Goku fans and Vegeta fans are forever trying to outsmart each other?" Banana Girl stood up to more cheering then I got as I was bursting my lungs from hollering. She made the 'Victory' sign as she took her award and with a grin, sat down again.
"For the Best Action Fic: Darek's…" I zoned out. There was another thing tugging at my mind the next award was… THE BEST YAOI AWARD! I felt the blood drain from my face. It always went to something that was Vegeta/Kakarot! I grabbed Goten and Trunks by the collars and, cursing, hauled them out of the Meeting Room of the high school. Curiously, Vegeta, Kakarot and Zar followed me. That's what I had been counting on.
"What did you do that for?" Goten squealed, rubbing his neck.
I thought fast, "What were you two plotting?" I prayed to Kami that they had been plotting something.
"We weren't plotting nothing!" Trunks complained.
"But Trunk, you said…" Trunks slammed his hand down over Goten's mouth and grinned weakly at me.
"Nothing…" he echoed.
"Sure! Don't do anything crazy or I swear I'll rip off your arms and shove them up your… never mind." I ushered them back into the room.
Mac was still going. "For the Best Yuri Fic: Geni's 'Away with the Men'. This is where Vegeta and Goku both kill each other in a sparring match and so Chi-chi and Bulma go to each other for comfort. But the need for comfort evolves into something more." Geni got up to get her prize but found Kakarot and Vegeta glaring at her with hate filled eyes.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit…" I started chanting my mantra for the second time that week.
"Oh my Kami!" screamed Geni, "Vegeta and Goku look-alikes!"
"And Goten and Trunks look-alikes!" came a cry from the Chibi table. All the girls stood up and, as one, raced toward the Saiyans.
"Kakarot!" I hissed, "Get us out of here! Now!" the hoard of girls ran for us. As Goten, Trunks, Mike, Zar, Vegeta and I grabbed a hold of Kakarot, I made a phone sign to Bana and she nodded in agreement. Then, we disappeared from the meeting and reappeared in the parking lot. "Into the car!" we all dove into it and I stepped on the gas, sending the car racing out of the parking lot.
"Ikeike!" Vegeta roared, "What the hell was that fic about?"
"Erm… well… some people think that some pairings are good and well…" I was at a loss, "Eh… Mike will explain it for you!"
"What?" Mike gulped as Vegeta twisted around at his seat to glare at him. Kakarot already was, "Well… like she said. Some people are fond of pairings that never happened…"
"Why did she really drag the brats out of the room?" Kakarot asked him.
"They were announcing the Best Yaoi Fic," Mike looked like he was about to cry.
"Who was it about?" Vegeta sounding like he was going to rip Mike limb from limb.
"Well… uh… I can't remember?"
"That's bullshit, brat!" Kakarot yelled.
"IT WAS A VEGETA/GOKU!" Mike howled and then pulled up his jacket to hide his face. Kakarot and Vegeta started gagging.
"It was bad enough having a mental picture of our mates but now…" Vegeta's face was turning green.
"Never! I'M NOT LIKE THAT!" wailed Kakarot.
"Yo! Not in my car, you won't!" I parked the car in the driveway and hurried the Saiyans out.
"Reishi?" Zar asked.
"What gutei?" I answered, watching Kakarot and Vegeta kneel on my lawn, puking up their dinner.
"What's 'yaoi' and 'yuri'?"
"Ummm… well… ask Mike…"
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*rolf* I couldn't help but put that yaoi thing in! I needed to write about their reactions to people thinking that they liked each other! I am not making fun of it or people who write those! Poor Mike gets stuck with everything! *lol* Um, sure Emeralz. You can have Mike. If no one else wants him, that is. I couldn't help but stick in my two fics and BananaGirl's fic.
To Welsh-dragon: 'flipped off his backside' would mean that Bouke gave the teacher the finger while his back was turned.
