"Well… yaoi is when a guy and a guy, you know. Yuri is girl-girl." Mike explained weakly. I listened to the chibis screams of incredulity at that remark. Mike had had to explain the whole rest of birds and the bees to the innocent Goten and Trunks. Zar had already known about it except the yuri and yaoi aspect. I chuckled to myself as I whipped up a small snack of macaroni and cheese. Stupid brats don't know shit… I sat down at the table and ate my snack while writing my next fanfic. The now poisoned boys tromped through the kitchen and into Zar's room to play video games and try to forget.

"Hello Vegeta." I said as I finished the second page.

He walked out of the kitchen and sat down beside me. "How'd you know I was coming through the kitchen, ikeike? I didn't make a sound!"

I paused to think. He was right. "Air currents." I said and went back to writing with a smirk. Let the asshole figure that one out.

"Bullshit," Vegeta muttered and stood up again. He began to pace around the room until Kakarot walked in. They locked gazes. Neither blinked or looked away for two minutes.

Finally, I said, "What's eating your ass?" Both blinked, turned and looked at me with a confused look. I rolled my eyes and explained, "Bakas! You're both acting weird? What's eating you?" I continued to write as I talked.

"I'm not like that…" Kakarot muttered and sat down to sulk. I passed him the pot of macaroni and cheese. Food would cheer him up.

Then I did a double take. "What? What do you mean 'not like that'?"

He looked startled, "What do you mean 'what do you mean 'not like that''?"

"Okay…" I took a deep breath, "What kind of 'not like that' are you talking about?"

"The kind that's well… you know!" Kakarot looked uncomfortable.

"Tell me!" I bellowed, wondering how stupid, innocent Kakarot could know about such things.

"Okay! When I was little, about Goten's age, I found Master Roshi's collection of magazines… and they were pretty bad. Some were yaoi and he even had a few yuri." Kakarot grimaced at the memory.

"Oh…" I shuddered, "I feel so sorry for you. Must have been pretty traumatizing to find those at such a young age."

"Yeah, and I began to understand why Master Roshi acted the way he did around women."

"That baka disgusts me." Vegeta spat.

"Amen to that." I said solemnly. "Sick pervs like him shouldn't be allowed within a mile of young children."

"Yeah." Kakarot had finished the pot of macaroni and cheese and was now looking at me with the Son Puppy Eyes™. I sighed and passed him the rest of mine. I looked back at my fanfic. Or where it had been. With alarm, I looked around for it. Vegeta was standing in the kitchen, reading it. Awh, shit… my mind quailed, you shouldn't have been writing a Vegeta lemon when he's in your house and you knew it!

"Ikeike! What is this shit?" Vegeta yelled, waving the papers around.

"What is what?" I said, hoping I sounded young, naïve and stupid.

"This piece of shit!"

"Well…"

"I can't read it!"

Thank you, Kami for having my baka of a teacher train us to write in cursive! "It's just an assignment for my class!"

"Oh… I see. But I swear this is my name right here… and Bulma's, that cueball's, Kakarot's and his wife!" Stupid, stupid, stupid bakayaro! Writing a fiver with names they could recognize!

I thought fast, "We did a free assignment on a subject we were interested in. I did mine on anime!"

"Oh," he searched my face for any signs of a lie.

"May I please have it back?" I said in the calmest voice I could summon up.

"Whatever." Vegeta dropped it on the floor and walked off.

"Thank you Kami…" I whispered as I picked it up, making sure that all the pages were there.

"It's not an assignment, is it?" Kakarot asked me as I sat down. He was looking at me with an unsettling gaze.

"Er… not really." I shuffled the pages around nervously.

"What is it?"

"Eh, a fanfic."

"Really?" Kakarot scooted his chair closer, "Who's it about?"

"Well, like Vegeta said, him, Bulma, Krillin, you and Chi-chi." I shuddered at the mention of the frying pan wielding demon harpy from hell.

"What's the story?"

"Oh, you mean the plot." I coughed, "Well, Krillin hosts a birthday party…"

"Whose birthday is it?" Kakarot interrupted me.

"I don't know! Does a birthday party have to be celebrating someone's birthday?"

"Yes!"

"Shut up Kakarot! Now, where was I? Oh yes…"

"You had just said Krillin was hosting a birthday party and then I asked…"

"SHUT UP KAKAROT!" I screamed, "It was a rhetorical question for Kami's sake! Gods! How did you make it so far in life without dying?"

"Well, I am very strong and…"

"YOU BAKAYARO! THAT WAS ANOTHER RHETORICAL QUESTION!" I felt like going and hitting my head against the wall until it burst like a rotten melon. Kakarot smiled sheepishly at me and put his hand behind his head. "Now, please let me tell you the plot line. Krillin hosts a party, Vegeta, you and your mates get completely and utterly wasted." Kakarot raised his hand, "What?"

"What does 'wasted' mean?"

"It means you got so fucking drunk you couldn't see, walk or talk straight." Kakarot's mouth made a little "o" and I continued with my story, "So, Radditz appears from the dead. Krillin kills him and everyone goes home happy." Okay, so it's the completely edited version. I don't want to pollute his poor mind anymore then it is.

"That doesn't sound like a very good story." Kakarot stood up and stretched. "I'm going to spar with Vegeta."

"No ki!" I shouted after him as he walked toward the back of the house, looking for Vegeta. I sighed and closed my eyes. Silence, complete silence. I could have heard a pin drop but then the doorbell rang. "Damn mother-fucking door-to-door salesman…" I muttered as I went to answer it. What I saw was so surprising that I couldn't speak for a few moments as my mind groped to assimilate the data that had been thrown at it.

Leon was standing there, but it wasn't the Leon I knew. This Leon was clutching a dozen roses to his chest like a lifesaver and he had a look of seriousness on his face. The Leon I knew would never arrive at my house with any look other then a grin. Carrying roses no less! "Who are you and what have you done with my Leon?" I demanded of the stranger when I finally found my voice.

"Heh, nice one Bo." Leon said in a strangled tone.

"Who's gone and died?"

"Nobody."

"Then why the hell did you bring the roses?" I was getting very suspicious. Leon wasn't this serious, by now he would've launched into a story about aliens from my first question and for the second would've confessed he was the one who killed my cat even though I didn't own one.

"Well… I've come on a mission of the gravest circumstances. I…"

"IT'S YOU!" a voice yelled in a deafening tone. I turned around to see Vegeta standing in the corridor behind me. "KISAMA, YOU'D BETTER HAVE A GOOD ANSWER FOR THAT STUNT YOU PULLED OR ELSE YOUR GUTS WILL BE SPLATTERED ALL OVER THESE WALLS!" Vegeta started advancing with earth-quaking footsteps. Kakarot was right behind him and I motioned him to grab Vegeta and restrain him. Kakarot tried but Vegeta elbowed the other Saiyan in the gut and while Kakarot was bent double, he sent a punch to Kakarot's head to knock him out. I caught myself in the act of actually feeling sorry for Kakarot.

Leon just stood where he was, quaking in his boots. I was the only one to save him. Damn it! I'm not cut out for heroics! With that thought, I got into an attacking stance and watched Vegeta advance on my boy friend and I.

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Jeril: They are soooooo sick in this fic!! And what's up with Leon coming with roses? Avamar, I neglected to answer your question. No I don't dislike Kakarot, he just gets on my nerves. Tanx for all the reviews!!!!! *sniffles* You all are so nice!

Vegeta: You seem to be getting a little redundant, ikeike.

Jeril: DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!

Kakarot: Ikeike, ikeike, ikeike, ikeike, ikeike!!!

Jeril: You two are so cruel! *runs away crying*

Kakarot: What do we do now Vegeta? *stares at the grinning reviewers in fear*

Vegeta: Shut up, baka! I'm thinking! *they watch in horror as the reviewers advance on them now that they are unprotected*