Cupid Missed the Mark.

You've all heard the terms Carby, Jinter, Carsan, Marsan, Luby, Cordano, etc. Well, what if things were totally switched around, and the characters were paired with the most unlikely person, past and present cast? This idea stemmed from the Romano/Randi plot in the story "Knowing You Belong" by my friend southernbelle. Thanks Belle for all you help!!!

This is only meant to be a humor story, no offense intended towards anyone or any shipper group. It is only in fun! Personalities in this story are different than they are on the show, but that is intentional, so don't blast me for bad characterization!!!

Disclaimers: no money for me! NBC has all the $$$!

Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to REVIEW when you are finished reading!!!!!

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Doug Ross walked down the halls of County General, when he spotted Carol Hathaway. As he neared her, the curly headed brunette looked up into his eyes.

"Get away from me, you bastard."

Doug wasn't in the mood to deal with her, and seeing that they had never gotten along, he found no problem in mumbling some choice curse words under his breath and turning down the other hallway. Then he saw a beautiful body walking into the lounge, and his heart began to race. He followed her.

"Deb."

Saying her name, the name that she let only him call her, with his deep dusky voice sent chills up her spine. He wrapped his arms around her, and both were taken back to the night before when they were passionately intertwined on the floor in her apartment. He kissed her and pushed her towards the uncomfortable leather couch, but they were suddenly interrupted by John Carter.

"Jing Mei, Doug. Don't let me interrupt anything. I'm on my way out. But, um if you've got a second, take a look at this."

He held out a velvet box, and opened it. Inside was a large diamond ring.

"Wow. That's nice, John."

"Thanks, Doug. What do you think, Jing Mei?"

"She's really going to like it," Dr. Chen said with little elation or excitement on her face. She and Dr. Carter had always known one another, but never got close at all. Mere acquaintances.

"Thanks. See you tomorrow."

Carter walked out into the hall, leaving the ER "super-couple" to their own space.

He saw the love of his life, standing at the end of the hall. He walked up to her and planted a deep kiss on her lips.

"You ready to go, Love?"

"Just a minute, Darling," the woman said with passion and emotion in her voice.

She looked back to the chart she was working on, and then handed it to Abby. The nurse turned to walk away.

"Oh, Cleo, do you want saline too?

"No, I don't think she needs it, but keep an eye on her." She turned to the man in front of her. "So where is this surprise you've been hinting about for the past week, John?"

She put her hand on his chest, and he leaned in to kiss her and silence her questions. They soon walked out the door of the ER hand in hand. Abby watched the whole exchange from a distance, and felt sorry for her best friend Cleo. John Carter wasn't a good enough catch for her, and Abby thought Cleo could have done a lot better.

"Hey, Abby."

Abby continued to watch out the automatic doors, and was oblivious to the man trying to get her attention.

"Abby," Mark Greene repeated in a singsong voice.

"Oh, sorry Mark. What do you need?"

"I, uh, was going to ask you if we were still on for tonight?"

Abby put one arm around his waist, while he wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders.

"I wouldn't miss it. I'm really looking forward to the piano bar. I've never been to one before. Hey, is your dad still in town? My mom is here, and I hate to stay away from her when she made a special trip up to see me."

"Yeah, he is. I'll get him to come too. They'll get along great."

Abby kissed him on the cheek, and departed for the pharmacy.

"Hey Abby."

"Yeah, Mark?"

"Have I told you how pretty and how special you are?"

"Not today." She smiled and turned away.

"Hey Mark, did you page me?"

"Hey Peter. Um, I think that was Susan. I wonder what she wants, buddy?" Mark said with a wink.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Look, we're best friends right? Well, I think Susan has a thing for you, man. And I think you feel the same way. Am I right?"

Peter just smiled.

"Just ask her out. What could it hurt?"

With a pat on the back, Mark left his friend to take his advice. Peter walked into Trauma one, and found Susan with a patient.

"You paged me?"

"Uh, yeah. Three year old, with blood in the urine. I think it might be a rupture of some sort."

Peter began his examination, but spoke to Susan.

"So, uh, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Me? Nothing. A friend asked me to go barhopping, but it's not really my thing, you know. One daiquiri and I'm spent."

"Yeah. Well, what about a Jazz club. I've got two tickets. You interested."

"Just the Jazz club, and nothing else?"

"Uh, yeah. What else would we do afterward?" He was preparing to take the child up to the OR.

"Sounds great. I'll talk to you about it later."

Susan walked out of the trauma room, and was instantly knocked to the floor by the large build of one of the male doctor's.

"I'm so sorry Dr. Lewis. I'm so clumsy."

"Don't worry about it Luka."

Susan thought about the tall man as she walked away. It was a shame really. He was not very confident around women, and seldom had a date. Not that he wasn't attractive, because he was a beautiful human being. It's just that he never developed the ability to romance a woman.

Dr. Kovac was embarrassed by the incident, but he was in hurry. He was headed up to the surgical ward. The elevator wasn't moving quickly enough for him. He sighed in anticipation of the secret rendezvous.

After exiting the elevator, he navigated the long carpeted hallway, and knocked on her office door.

"Lizzie?" he said in a soft Croatian accent.

"I thought you'd never get here, Luka. Lock the door."

He did as he was told, and then walked over to her desk and put his arms around the illustrious Dr. Corday. She was the kindest woman he had ever known, and their secret love affair had been going on for quite sometime.

They were passionately kissing one another when a knock was heard on the office door.

"Quick, under the desk."

Luka hid, and Elizabeth answered the door.

"Ah, Dr. Corday. I was wondering if you could take the midnight shift tonight and cover the ER for me."

"Bloody no! Why should I?"

"That's fine. I can do it. I just thought you might want the overtime. I'm perfectly willing to do it, but I wanted to offer it to you first."

"That's nice, but no! Good bye, Robert."

The door shut, and he mumbled to himself.

"Well, I'm just a nice person."

He then walked to his own office and dialed down to the ER. The voice that answered the line made him smile.

"ER, this is Randi."

"Hey, Baby Doll."

"Hi, Sweetie. What's your schedule tonight?"

"I've got the midnight shift."

"Well, will you make Lamaze class?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it. I want to be there every second. You know I'd cut off my left arm to be with you and our baby as much as I can."

"I know."

She paused.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I was just thinking how lucky I am to have such a good man for a husband. So honest and kind and understanding. How did I get so lucky?"

"Oh I'm the lucky one, Darling. I'll see you in a bit."

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Randi hung up the phone and turned to face Dr. Dave.

"Sorry that took so long."

"Not a problem. I think it's great that you have such a loving relationship with your husband. I wanted to respect your time and didn't mean to rush you."

"Oh you didn't. I'm just moving slower now with the baby and all."

Dr. Dave patted the desk clerks stomach, smiled like any gentleman would and walked to exam one.

"You ready to hit Vegas, Baby"

He linked arms with the woman who would be his wife in less than twenty- four hours.

Carol quickly covered his mouth with her hand.

"Shh! I don't want anyone to know, remember!"

"I'm sorry, honey. Are you sure you don't want anyone to know? They all know we've been together for months."

"No I'm sorry. Doug Ross looked at me funny, and ever since I've been in a foul mood. I just have this feeling that he has it out for me. I don't want him ruining my special day."

"He won't do that because I won't let him. Lets go, Care-bear! The Wedding Chapel awaits."

"I love you Dave. I'd never want to be with anyone but you."

"Not even Doug Ross?"

"Shut up! That's not even funny. Go wash your mouth out with soap!"

****

Kerry Weaver awoke with a start at her dream.

It was all too much for her to comprehend. None of that would Ever Happen!

"What's wrong, baby?" came the voice from the other side of the bed

"Nothing. I just had a dream that everyone in the ER was with the one person I they would never be with. I mean Dave and Carol, Carter and Cleo, Abby and Mark-"

"That is very weird. But it was just a dream. Abby is perfectly happy with Dr. Romano. And Peter and Carol are in Seattle remember?"

"You're right. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep--- Jerry."

****

So? What'd you think? Too stupid? Not stupid enough? Just right?

PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK- REVIEW, PLEASE!