The Ripple Affect
By: Xiao

` Thanks to Megami No Hikari. I accidently put nine instead of five. Song used is Whisper by Evanescence. Parenthesis is used for the background in the song. `

-- Chapter V --

She slipped the ear peice into her ear, and pulled the cord down behind her lavender pigtails, so it wasn't to be seen. She pressed the small play button from inside her backpack and began to sing softly with the tune. For a long moment, that was all that was heard in her ears. "Don't turn away." (Don't give into the pain). "Don't try to hide." (Though they're screaming your name). "Don't close your eyes." (God knows what lies behind them). "Don't turn out the light--"

"Do you always sing when you're walking to school?" He asked, finally, after a long time of just walking a few feet from behind her.

"Eriol," she breathed in sharply. Her body tensed as she came to a stop. "Hey." He nodded lightly, acknowledging her hello, and caught up with her. She began to walk as he did, matching her pace with his own.

The rest of the walk was to be held in silence, with Tomoyo pulling the ear peice from her ear and turning off her music, while Eriol kept his eyes focused on the school before them. Behind them, cherry blossom petals swirled calmly with the wind, and erupted with their soft floral scent. Students passed, eyeing the two, but ignoring them as well. Occasionally Tomoyo glanced at the boy beside her, and asked herself if this was the beginning.

'No,' she reminded herself. 'Because you ruined it.'

---

As the day went on, classes proceeded as they usually did. The only difference was that they had taken out the elective courses to have an assembly, thus Theater and Choir did not exsist for Tomoyo's usual day. And in addition, lunch was held later in the day, instead of it usually being being quite early.

After Tomoyo had paid for her lunch, she scanned the cafeteria for Eriol, and when spotting him, made her way down to the table in the back, where only him and her sat. "Hey." she said, calmly as she took her seat and noticed that he was reading again. She wondered why he never seemed to bring a lunch with him?

He gave her a slight nod and just folded his arms over his book, pressing it down as his eyes quickly scanned the words. This was usually how their lunch period was; Eriol would read silently and Tomoyo would eat silently. The longest conversation they had ever had was when they had first met, and how Eriol tried to deny her of being his friend. Which now he wasn't exactly her friend, but it had been the closest they would, hopefully, get before be considered "friends".

Tomoyo sighed as she took a bite out her rice, her mind repeating the previous weekend when she had broken down and cried about how he cut himself. About how she thought it was her faut. As she took another bite, she took a glance at his arm, wondering if he had actually not done anything as he had said. She noted that he always had his sleeves fixed in one way or another so that she could see them. As she looked, she saw the newly fresh wound. With another sigh, she felt guilt deepen inside her. 'It's your fault,' she said to herself.

"Listen, Eriol," she said, as she folded her arms and sat them horizontally infront of herself, her eyes staring downward. He took a moment and gave her a side glance to tell her that he was listening. "I'm sorry about yesterday."

He shifted uncomfortable in his seat and eyed her quietly.

"I must of made myself look so stupid." She said, and then paused in her speaking for a fake chuckle. She was trying to make it sound as if she didn't know about his new cut, so that it would be easier. "I mean, crying and all. I'm really sorry.."

Another uncomfortable shift in his seat, and he continued to eye her quietly. She looked toward him and gave him a smile, before shifting in her seat, placed her cheek on her left palm and picking up her chopsticks to take another bite of her food.

She had been wearing a white collared shirt, which had a boyish blue tie, along with a blue plad short skirt and black knee socks, followed by a pair of black dress shoes (No dress code). Eriol noted it all, and then ran his eyes over her once more, as if expecting something different. Shrugging very lightly, he went back to his book.

Wait.

He looked back at her.

He saw something.

"Tomoyo," he breathed in, that unknown tone of confusing mixed with conern filled his words. "what the hell did you do?" He asked her, quietly.

"What?" She asked back.

He gestured toward the sleeve of her shirt, where it was snagged and slightly torn at the wrist, the button missing.

-- Flashback --

She quickly grabbed her bag as she rushed out the door. She had already woken up late, ruined her breakfeast and had to grab a peice of toast instead, and then couldn't find her books. She pulled the straps around her shoulders as she pulled the door open and slammed it, running down the streets and to the gate. Faintly, she thought she heard her mother say something and turned, her head, seeing nothing. In the process, her sleeve caught one of the bushes and tore the wrist of her left sleeve.

"Shit." she said. If she had time, she would of gone inside and switched her shirt, but already late, she decided that she would live and continued to run until she was sure she would be able to relax and get to school on time.

-- End Flashback --

She breathed in, deeply, and looked away. 'No,' she thought. She had completely forgotten about her sleeve this time, and carelessly put her wrist in view.

'No!'

"Tomoyo?" He asked. His tone was soft for a moment, yet it was still firm and quiet. "What did you do?!" Her body tensed.

"I tore the sleeve this morning, while running out the door, I guess I just scratched it and didn't notice it." She looked back at him, setting her hands down and covering her wounded wrist. She offered him a fake smile, in which he frowned at.

"Scratched it?" He said, he pulled her hand toward him and rolled her sleeve up. For a moment, he eyed the fresh slash across her pale skin, and then looked up at her. "It's too deep to be a scratch, and anyway, you're shirt would be crimson from the blood." He ran his fingers across the cut, and looked back down at her wrist. "The line is too straight to be scratched, anyway."

If this situation wasn't so serious, maybe Tomoyo would of enjoyed it. But, she sighed, pushed her tray out infront of her and folded her arm, before putting her head down. 'No.' She repeated. She didn't bother to bring her hand back to herself, either.

"You didn't.." He breathed. At that moment, he realized that because of him, she had hurt herself.

'She cared about you and you hurt her like that.' He told himself. 'You jerk.'

At the beginning, he had only wanted to be alone so not to hurt anyone else or bring them into his own problems. When Tomoyo had come along, he had tried to warn her, and she didn't listen. As a result, he had decided that he didn't care about what she thought, then. He figured that whatever happened to her was her problem, because she had gotten herself involved with him.

But he never expected for it to hurt so much, to know that he was the cause of her pain. His heart broke in two as he realized that the only one to ever care for him had just been hurt by him -- and all she ever did was try to be his friend.

-- Flashback --

"Tomoyo, dear, you're soaked!" Her mother offered her the obvious information as she beckoned for a maid to come to her daughter's aid. Tomoyo looked at her mom for a moment, their eyes locking with eachother before the maid wrapped the girl in a towel and her mother ordered her to take a warm bath.

Minutes later, she sunk herself into the warm water and felt the cold quietly drip away and be replaced by the warmth. She sighed, seeping deeper into the water as she let her mind drift to the previous expirience.

"Well." she whispered. She had nothing else to say, to think about except the past. And all else she knew was that in the pit of her stomach, she was empty and felt sick. Her mind dripped with pain, just recalling everything. Her eyes stung from crying and were still dully pink. For moments she felt empty and alone, not able to think of anything to do, but sit in the warm water. She just continued to recall the previous expirience.

"I made it all happen," she finally said after long minutes, which seemed like eternities, passed. She felt sick now. "To the only guy I wanted to be friends with, I made him hurt himself." Empty. "I'll never forgive myself." Her words drowned as she dunked her head underwater, and stayed there for a few moments before coming back up for air.

She scanned, eyes landed on the shaving creme and razor, which stood next to the bottles of shampoo and conditioner. She stared so long, concentrating, thinking of what to do, that she could of swore she heard it saying, 'use me. you need me. you need relief and release.'

She looked down into the water. Her face looked back up at her -- sickingly and deathly pale, her eyes the only set of colour. She sighed.

'You made it all happen.'

She began to cry.

Long minutes passed.

She calmed.

She grabbed.

She pressed.

Well, what else was she to do?

The crimson dripped.

The thin line stayed.

The crimson mixed, faded into the water.

She relaxed, and sunk into the water, sighing.

"Tomoyo?" Her mother asked, knocking on the door. She realized that she had been sitting in the bath tub longer than she had expected to be.

"I'm fine."

But was she really?

-- End Flashback --

She was almost to tears, recalling everything. Another minuted passed, Eriol's hand still holding hers. He then wrapped his arm around her and held his hand in hers, resting his cheek against her lavender hair before whispering her name quietly.

Quietly he vowed that it was his turn to be the one to try and help.