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Whenever I close my eyes, the nightmares creep into my mind, corrupting my conscious, leaving me crankier then usual. Sure, I bet I'm hell to live with, sometimes I piety Faith for having to put up with me. Cruz, well Cruz she chose this, she had torn though my brain, nearly ripping out my heart a few times, yet she doesn't seem too bothered by me. Sure, that creeps the hell out of me, and usually puts me into shock when I think about it. Maybe she's lonely, maybe desperate, or maybe she just doesn't want to deal with her own problems, well, whatever.

The nightmares had started about two weeks ago when someone who I wished I would never see again returned into my life. The past nights, I've revisited my past, those dark, still nights where I would listen to them scream and fight at midnight. Sometimes my ma would sneak into my room after my dad gave her hell and brush my face softly. I pretended I was sleeping, out like a light, trying to be as still as possible. She would cry to me, tell me everything would be alright, I knew it wouldn't be.

Why he came back, I have no clue. I told him I hated him, I told him I wished he die, I swore on my bloody grave that he would suffer and life of misery, no matter how much he didn't like it, there was no-one to beat the hell out of anymore. Even if he wanted a second chance, I would never give that to him. He didn't deserve justice on me or my family. He had no right to come back, nearly begging for my forgiveness, I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want anything to do with my dad, ever, ever again.

"Bosco!" I heard Sarge's voice scream at me as I swerved down the street chasing a new suspect for a domestic shooting. Another car cut me off as I slammed my fists hard on the horn slamming on the breaks sending Cruz along with me forward.

"Damnit." I cursed under my breath. Cruz wasn't too happy as she stared out the window holding back one of her cruel comments catching her breath.

"Pay attention to the road would ya?" She said looking at me with angry eyes. Deciding not to reply, I wasn't about to get myself into another mess. "Who the hell taught you to drive anyway?" She continued.

"Would you like to drive Miss. Perfect?" I cracked staring at her. After a few seconds she tore her stare away from me reaching for her radio.

"1-0-7-5 lost suspect on intersection 9-8" She said into the speaker.

"Copy 1-0-7-5 to 1-0-3-8" The radio replied. Pulling back out on to the crowded road packed with pedestrians I continued down the street staring at the road in a daze.

"Why does it bother you so much? Forget about him, Boscorelli." She said staring out the windshield and then back to me.

"Why does what?" I said not paying attention to her constant ramble. Either she gave me orders or rambled on; I didn't know which one was worse.

"Big Old' Daddy back in town." She said staring at me, waiting for a reply. I didn't want to explain the whole story, she knew enough and that was how it was going to stay. She had no business questioning about my past anyway. 'Leave well enough alone, Bosco.' I told myself.

"I don't want to talk about this Cruz." I replied pulling my gaze from the road back to her. "Really." I said looking back to the road quickly.

She shrugged. "Fine, as long as you don't let it interfere with your job. Turn around and head back to the precient." Sarge said demandingly.

Debating whether to question her as to 'what if I don't want to,' I let it go and made a U back to the station with out a reply.

Sarge stood in her office hovered over a bunch of paper work she had been dreading to do. Evening paper work was always a drag and I knew well enough, if I walked into that office, my ass would be sitting there filling out reports as Maritza had her own fun arguing with people on the phone, god knows who she was talking to. I never asked, not really caring.

 I took a duck out of the office heading down to the main desk of the 5-5 station, a few halls away from Anti-Crime. Faith gazed at me absently as I leaned over the desk watching her as she hovered over a phone in one hand, a pen and paper in the other, scribbling down some phone number.

"Can we talk?" I asked as she put down the phone. I knew I couldn't talk to Cruz about what was going on, Faith was the only one who knew the true me, she knew me more then I knew myself when I thought about it.

"I'm sort of at work, Bosco, something you should be doing." She replied sarcastically to my question. My mind wandered why she was doing desk duty, usually she had a pestering rookie to watch after and 'mother.' I knew I had hurt her, moving on to Anti-Crime. I felt guilty for doing this but I needed a change. I hoped she understood that and hoped it wouldn't ruin our friendship.

"Well can you take a break or something, its important?" I said sincerely.

"It's always important Bosco, it's never not important." She replied scowling at me. She must have then noticed how grim I looked, I knew I looked like a ghost back from the dead, I was a wreck. I finally found out the importance of sleep, it was something I was definitely lacking. "Bosco, five minutes, that's all." She said looking over to Lieu, "I'm taking a break, Ill be back in five." She said and headed out from the desk after the Lieu giving her a nod.

We headed down the hall to the role call room where we usually had our 'serious' talks. Closing the door behind me she stared at me. "He's back." I muttered.

"Who's back? Listen Bosco, I'm not going to fix your problems, you're a big boy now, and you can take care of yourself." Faith said crossing her arms across her chest.

She was true, she was the one I always expected to help me, hey who was I, god? She had her own problems with Fred and the kids to take care of. She didn't need a grown adult to way some more weight on her back. Looking back to the door and then to Faith. "I have no-one else, Faith. My dad, he's back." I said after taking a deep breath.

"And you expect me to do what Bos?" She replied. Boy, I didn't think she was that upset with me. That was a major slap in the face.

"Faith, I need help! If this is because I transferred to Anti Crime, why can't you get over it?" I yelled at her totally losing my senses. "God Faith, are you that jealous of Cruz?" I snapped my face red with anger. Wow, I had blown it. Her expression twisted into rage.

"Jealous? You think I'm jealous?" She screamed back at me bitterly. She had an angry slash amused look on her face that hit me hard. Why was she doing this? I just needed to talk to her and I had to go open my big trap.

"Faith, I...I" I hesitated as she cut me off.

"You know what Bosco? I don't have to deal with this anymore." She said shaking her head in disbelief, walking past me, and slamming the door shut behind her. Sighing deeply I had screwed up big this time. I had Faith mad at me, my jackass father back in town, and Cruz, well, uh, Cruz was just somewhere.