Chapter 11: Spring Break Part VII

~Sam's POV~

Paul and I rode to the hotel in silence. It was 15 minutes from where we were staying for the night. I just sat there, looking out the window, just basically deep in thought. I couldn't organize my thoughts, much less my feelings. I wanted to cry, but I felt like crying wasn't helping me at all. I didn't know what to do. It was hard for me because my birthday was coming up and I couldn't celebrate it without my father. He was always there for me, being my rock. I'm so grateful that Paul was being my rock for the past few hours. He really took over the role as my surrogate father. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize that Paul had been trying to get my attention. "Baby girl, we're here. you ok?" he asked as I put my thoughts aside.

I shook my head. "I feel so lost and confused. I feel so much pain in my heart," I replied as I got out of my car. Paul just nodded and looked at me with sympathy. We got our things out of the trunk and headed inside the hotel. We found Matt, Jeff and Jay in the lobby. Jeff opened his arms towards me and I walked into them, while Paul went to check in.

"Sam, are you ok?" Jeff asked.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not ok. I just found out that my dad died. He didn't make it." I started to cry. Jeff just held me tight, letting me cry on his shoulder. We just stood there until Paul came.

"Sam, you ready to go? Did you let Jeff know that you were staying with me tonight?" I shook my head.

"Her mom called me and told me about it. Don't worry about me, Sam. Just stay with Paul tonight. I totally understand that you're scared and everything. Remember what I told you that I don't want to pressure you into anything," Jeff said as he broke off the embrace.

"Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate it a lot. Paul, can I stay with Jeff for a little while?"

"Yeah, sure. Just come to the room when you're ready to sleep. We're in room 624, and here's your key," Paul said as he left.

"Sam, are you sure that you want to stay with me? I totally understand that if you don't want to stay," Jeff said.

"I want to stay with you. I want to spend time with you tonight, even if it is just for a little while," I replied.

"Why don't you two go to our room and just hang out. Jay and I are going to go out and hang out," Matt said.

"Can both of you stay with us, too? I want all of you to stay with me for a little while," I asked.

"Are you sure?" Jay asked. I nodded and then we went up to Matt and Jeff's room and hung out for a while. We just mostly sat and watched TV. I started to feel sleepy about 2 hours later.

"Guys, I'm going to go to bed. I'm starting to feel sleepy now," I replied as I got off the bed.

"Okay, I'll walk with you to your room," Jeff replied.

"Good night, guys. Thanks for keeping me company," I responded as I gave Matt and Jay hugs.

"Good night, Sam. I hope you feel better soon," Matt replied.

"Good night, Sam. Sleep tight," responded Jay.

Jeff and I left the room, hand in hand. "Jeff thanks for staying with me. It means a lot to me knowing that you're here with me."

"You're more than welcome, my dear sweet angel," Jeff replied in the softest voice. Before we knew it, we were in front of my room. Jeff and I embraced and he gave me the softest kiss. I deepened the kiss. I was so afraid that Jeff was going to back out, but he didn't. He kissed me back. I was so thrilled that he didn't break the kiss. We broke off the kiss after what seemed like eternity.

"What was that for, Sam?"

"It was my way of saying Thank You for everything, Jeff." Then we kissed some more, before I went into my room. When I did, I found Paul sitting at the table, talking in his cell phone. I went to my bag and gotten my pjs. I didn't want to listen to the conversation that Paul had. It sounded intense from the tone of Paul's voice. I really didn't understand what he was saying anyway because I was so lost into my thoughts. I went into the bathroom to change my clothes. I cleaned up after myself in the bathroom. My face was so poofy and red from crying so much. I actually laughed at myself for the way I looked. After 10 minutes, I came out of the bathroom. I found Paul in his pjs on his bed, watching TV. He saw me come out of the bathroom and smiled at me.

I looked at him puzzlingly, "What's the problem?"

"Do you actually sleep in that oversized HHH shirt?" asked Paul.

"Yes, I do sleep in this. It's quite comfortable to sleep in. I bought it about 3 years ago and have been sleeping in it since then," I replied as I smiled at him.

"It's good to see you smile again, baby girl. Why don't you sit next to me as we watch TV together, huh?"

"Sure, that sounds good," I replied as I sat next to Paul and cuddled against his body.



~Paul's POV~

I pulled a blanket over both of us. Within the next half hour, I had looked down at her and found her sleeping. I decided to let her sleep in my bed. I tried to remove myself from her, but she held onto me tighter. I just smiled at the fact that she was holding me like a teddy bear. I turned off the TV and decided to hold her as we both slept together. Halfway through the night, I heard her screaming and crying. I woke up and saw her squirming. I had to wake her up. "Sam! Wake up! You're just having a dream!" I said as I shook to wake her up.

She opened her eyes and screamed, "DDDDAAAAADDDDDYYYYYY!!!"

I was sure that everyone in the hotel had heard her, "Sam, calm down, it's just a dream. Ssssshhhhhh it's ok. It's over! The nightmare is over," I said as I rocked her. She had finally calmed down after 10 minutes. I looked at her, she was afraid to go back to sleep. She jumped when there was a knock on the door. "Sam, I need to go and open the door," I replied as I tried to let go of her.

"No, don't open the door! What if he escaped? Please, don't open the door," she pleaded as she was reaching out for me.

"Look, how about if we open the door together, huh? That way you'll see who it is," I asked as she nodded. She held onto me and walked behind me as we went to the door. "Who is it?"

"Paul, it's me, Helen."

"Ok, let me open the door for you." I looked at Sam reassuringly that it was her mother. I opened the door and showed her that it was her mother. Sam immediately ran to her mother's open arms. She cried once she embraced her mother. I told Helen to come into the room.

"Samantha, it's ok. You don't need to cry. Everything will get better in time," she said as she stroked her back. Then Helen mouthed to me asking if I could sing her a song. Helen was one of the few people that heard me sing. I never really showed other people my hidden talents. I nodded as I thought of a song to sing to her.



When the visions around you

Bring tears to your eyes

And all that surround you

Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength

I'll give you hope

Keeping your faith when it's gone

The one you should call was standing here all along

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

I loved you forever in lifetimes before

And I promise you never will you hurt anymore

I give you my word

I give you my heart

This is a battle we've won

And with this vow

Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes

Each loving day

And know this feeling won't go away

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

Over and over I fall

When I hear you call

Without you in my life baby

I just wouldn't be living at all

And I will take you in my arms

And hold you right where you belong

'Til the day my life is through

This I promise you

This I promise you

Just close your eyes

Each loving day

And know this feeling won't go away

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

Every word I say is true

This I promise you

I promise you



When I had finished the song, she had fallen asleep. I took her from Helen's arms and put her to bed. "Helen, you can stay here if you want. I'm sure that she won't mind," I whispered.

"No, that's ok. I need to go back to my room anyway. I need to let Adam know that she's fine. Paul, thank you so much for singing to her. It always calms her down," she said as we headed for the door.

"No problem. I love her so much. I would do anything for her," I replied.

"I know. Again, thank you. Good night," she responded before she left.

As I went back to bed, I couldn't help but look at Sam and see how innocent she was. I guess that's what attracted me to her. She has so much innocence in her. I wanted to keep that innocence in her. That's the main reason as of why I'm protecting her so much. I couldn't possibly be falling in love with her. She loves Jeff. I can tell that she loves him for who he was. Anyone can tell that she had the hugest crush on him. I know that she looks up to me like a father. I can't step out of that role, not now, not when she needs me to be. I pushed a piece of hair out of her face, and whispered, "Sam, I wish you didn't have to go through so much pain. I love you so much. Remember that always!!"

She stirred in her sleep, but didn't wake up. Then I heard her say, "I love you, Paul." My heart jumped when I heard her say that. I know that when she said that she meant it as what our relationship means to her. I got into bed with her and she automatically cuddled up against my body. God, she is so beautiful when she does that to me. I watched her sleep until I fell asleep myself.

~ Author's Note: 'This I Promise You' from N SYNC. Don't own don't sue. ~