Chapter six
That night I crawled into bed, reminiscing all the things we had done together, as the three amigos. It seemed so long ago.
The pain in my heart was fresh and bleeding freely, and my questions were still unanswered. How could I help Lizzie overcome her grief if I didn't know why or how I had caused it? It didn't make any sense, but Lizzie didn't seem ready to explain anything to me yet. I haven't even gotten a full sentence out of her for the last few days. Every time I wanted to talk, she turned me away.
I realized suddenly, with a start, that the best way to talk to her was when she was asleep. Then, she would have to listen to me, even if she didn't comprehend what I was saying in that state. It didn't matter to me, as long as I could have an audience for once. I missed Miranda and Lizzie laughing at my lame attempts at jokes, and talking with me about how hot all the guys were.
God. I would even be happy to welcome a conversation about Ethan. Now that's desperate.
Sighing, I turned onto my side, looking at the picture of Lizzie on top of my dresser drawer. I smiled as I remembered when we took that. It was at the beach, and we were making sandcastles. Miranda, of course, ruined everything by jumping in front of us and yelling, "say cheese!" Lizzie was laughing in that picture, trying to pull the sand grains out of her waving hair.
I realized then that I hadn't seen her laugh since…
Clenching my fists, I realized I was desperate for any sign of emotion that wasn't related to depression and misery. But, I guess I deserved her antagonism. If I had caused my best friend that much pain, shouldn't I go through it with her?
I grabbed my head, all but ripping my brown curls out. I had to contain myself – I didn't want to be bald and ignored. It wasn't that easy though…
I looked at my clock in dismay. It was 4:34 am. I had been up all night thinking about Lizzie, and I was paying for it. Rubbing my eyes, I settled myself down onto my soft bed sheets. My head was pounding from lack of sleep, and my heartbeat rang inside of my ears. I was a mess. Mentally and physically.
Closing my eyes, I drifted into a land of dreams and slumber.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The school day dragged along, as I expected. Lizzie and Miranda still wouldn't talk to me, and it wasn't helping that I was fatigued from my late night. Somehow, though, I made it long enough to go home, pulling my feet behind me in vain. Everything seemed difficult to do - even walk.
As soon as I reached my room, I plopped onto my bed face-first, breathing heavily into my pillow.
I stayed that way for hours, occasionally turning on my side, or looking at the clock. To my surprise, I soon realized it was dark outside.
Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. I tiptoed out of the house, as to not make any sound. Then, I began my walk to Lizzie's place. I knew it was crazy, sneaking outside at 9 o'clock at night, just to creep into my friend's house to speak to her.
I just felt that it was worth it. If that was the only way to talk to her, then so be it.
As if in a dream, I walked up to the door of the McGuire's house. With shaking hands, I pulled on the doorknob quickly. It wouldn't budge. Feeling even more like a criminal, I stooped down and pulled their house key out from under the doormat. I shoved it into the keyhole and turned it hurriedly, cringing as I heard the sound echo through the house. I pulled open the door as quietly as I could, listening for any signs of life. I heard the television in the other room, but I imagined that was Jo and Sam McGuire watching something together. I crept up the stairs, trying to balance my weight evenly between my feet so I wouldn't make too much noise. Surprisingly, I made it all the way into Lizzie's room. I slid into her bedroom and closed the door behind me, panting slightly from holding my breath. I noticed that she was asleep. I sat down on her bed, watching her sleep. She looked so peaceful. But, as I looked closer, I noticed a line of sorrow on her face that seemed to be etched onto her cheeks permanently. She sighed in her sleep, shivering and pulling the covers over herself. Clasping my hands, I looked at her face.
"Hey Lizzie," I whispered, using all of my willpower just to keep myself from kissing and comforting her. Lizzie stirred again.
"Gordo?" she asked quietly, breathing my name. I nodded my head, knowing fully well that she didn't see my response. Suddenly, I felt choked with sadness.
"Yeah. Listen, Liz. I know something is wrong, and that it's my entire fault… I-I'm really sorry for whatever I did to you." I said softly, watching her face, "I know I-I never told you… I was always afraid – of being rejected, I mean. But, that's not the point. No matter what happens, I really want to keep you close to me. I wish I'd told you sooner, before you… before you got so depressed. What I really want to say is – Elizabeth Brooke McGuire, I love you. Every time I see you, I want to shout for joy, to sing a song. I've always loved you, and I always will. I just hope… maybe, maybe, you feel the same way… I wish that you would forgive me for anything I did to you. I'm really, truly sorry."
Lizzie turned over on her stomach, eyes wet with tears. I could hear her crying softly in her sleep. With that said, I left, closing her door behind me. Amazingly, I managed to pass by her parents without getting caught. I walked across the street for the second time in two days, breathing in the warm night air.
I felt better, like a ton had been lifted off my chest. I felt like I had accomplished something important.
Who knows, maybe I had.
Lalalala… I love writing this story! ^_^
Please review – I want some! *sniffles*
- - - CONGRAGULATIONS - - -
Okay… I was amazed. Really amazed. Somebody actually realized where I was going with this story. Sooo, I dedicate this chapter to luvlife4evr! Great job! I am truly amazed – again. Except, the name is M. Night Shyamalan. You were really close… you just mixed up the order. ^_^
Anyways… please review!
Talk to a dolphin.
Tic-Tac ^_~