Note: My real name is NOT Hideaki Anno. I do not own Gainax or any of its
creations let alone Neon Genesis: Evangelion. Characters, locations,
themes, and ideas used in this fic are used without permission from Gainax
or Hideaki Anno.
Last time on The Last Gift She Expected.Rei is determined to punish Ritsuko in exactly the same method as was done to her during the Angel attacks, with a plethora of syringes and needles. The truth of Rei's personality is revealed to Hikari and Toji. Asuka and Shinji track down Hikari as far as Ritsuko's, where they are ambushed, Asuka falling victim to Ritsuko's serum. Shinji went into a blind rage, defeating both his inner demons and Ritsuko. Meanwhile, Misato stumbles across a surprising revelation: Toji apparently still has a mother!
And without further ado.
The Last Gift She Expected, Chapter 9: The Morning After : Shinji the Negotiator
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Maya's eyes opened slowly. It looked like the human whirlwind had passed, and from what she saw, she didn't want to be on the receiving end of any form of attack by Shinji.
[If Shinji could use that kind of martial prowess against his own girlfriend, then I'd hate to see what he could do to an enemy.] Then she remembered that she already has: the gruesome sight of Eva Unit 01 eating the 14th Angel stayed in her mind ever since.
She shifted the weight of her head, so that she could see the wall clock. [Shit! 7:06!] Maya sat up, rubbing her head. Suddenly, a sharp pain jabbed at her stomach. Maya clutched her stomach, still sore from Rei's stiff right knee. She slowly stood up, and noticed that the venetian blinds were missing from the.no, scratch that, the was missing from the window.
She walked to the door, and was shocked by what she saw. "Sempai!" she ran to the still prone body of Ritsuko. Maya knelt down and checked her pulse. [Thank God, she's still alive.who could've done this? Not.Shinji!?]
Maya was about to stand up and run for the Infirmary, when a thought entered her head. [Why?]
She stopped, almost at her feet. [Why am I defending her? What has she done for me? Or more to the point, what has she done TO me? She didn't inject me with that stuff, did she? In the last few days, she hasn't been herself. She isn't with.another.]
Maya knelt down again. "I.I don't need you," she said, striking the unconscious Ritsuko across the face with an open hand. She rose, and walked alone to the Bridge.
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At 7:30, on the dot, Rei opened her eyes. [Damn training,] she thought, [I really need a couple more hours of sleep.]
Rei closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, but to no avail. Having no life outside of Gendo's or Ritsuko's control resulted in her waking at 7:30 every morning. [Dammit!] She rolled over, or would have, if it wasn't for something preventing her. She tried to shrug off the blanket around her, only to find that she was in a sleeping bag.
[Oh yeah, I didn't bring bedding of my own.] Rei used this knowledge and changed her rolling-over technique in accordance. But still there was something stopping her. She looked across to her right. The freckled, spectacled face of Kensuke Aida faced her, still snoring away.
[Aida!? Why are we.did we.?] Rei's mind raced. [Why can't I remember anything? Did I get.drunk?]
Rei smiled. [Hah.I'm acting normally.well, for a teenager.] Kensuke stirred beside Rei. He opened his eyes slightly. At first, Kensuke could barely make out the shape of another person opposite him. Then his vision came into focus.
"Whoa! Good morning, Rei!" Fortunately, this wasn't nearly as loud as it seemed.
"Good morning, Ai - ah, god dammit! Uh.Kensuke!"
Kensuke face-faltered. "Well, it's nice to know you remember me," he said sarcastically.
"Sorry, Kensuke. It's.the whole.last-name thing."
"Huh? Oh, no, don't take me seriously, Rei. I was being sarcastic. You know, joking?"
"Oh. A joke." She looked into Kensuke's eyes. Two broad grins crossed their faces. They then lay back on the ground, staring at the ceiling.
"Um, Kensuke."
"Yeah?"
"Did we.you know."
"Uh.I'm sorry, Rei." Kensuke looked down.
[We did.] Rei smiled. [Shame I can't remember it.] "Was I.um.any good?"
Kensuke sat up in shock. [Last thing I expected Rei to ask.] He lay back down, and faced Rei again. "Well, let's just say now I know why everyone calls you the blue-haired wonder."
Rei smiled. "I could say the same of you.but."
Kensuke's face flushed. "But what?"
"You don't have blue hair."
Kensuke found such a stupid joke hilarious in his current mindset, and tried his best to keep his laughter down.
"You know, I had no idea you were into that kind of music, Rei."
"Oh yeah," Rei said, matter-of-factly, "I've got a few BluVDs full of MP3s. Linkin Park, NERD, POD, Evanescence."
"Hmm.maybe that would've been a better song for a duet." Kensuke lamented, referring to Evanescence's Bring Me To Life.
"Yeah."
"So.what do you do for spare time?"
"Me? Hmm.I never really had much spare time.when I did I'd go home and play a bit of multi-player."
"Really!?" Kensuke had struck gold. "What's your game?"
"Bit of this, bit of that.I'm unstoppable in Terminal Force."
"You mean that new Half Life 2.0 mod? Well, I suppose you guys got involved with play-testing, didn't you? I mean, you three are actually in the game." Kensuke remembered playing Terminal Force for the first time, and being completely surprised to find that Shinji, Rei and Asuka were all playable characters. "I wonder how they got the rights to use skins of you pilots?"
"You think NERV gets by solely on hand-outs from the UN?" Rei liked this new concept of sarcasm.
Kensuke laughed. "Getting more human all the time.", commenting on Rei's new persona.
"Hey, you guys awake?" Kensuke and Rei glanced across the floor, pinpointing the source of the question.
"Hey, it's Shinji," Kensuke said, recognizing the voice of his buddy. Shinji was sitting in one of the bridge-bunny chairs, sipping away at a can of coffee. "How long have you been awake for?"
"Since about half-past six," Shinji said. "You guys want to eat?"
"Yeah, sure," Kensuke said, "Scrambled eggs on toast. What do you want, Rei?"
"Um.just get me some pancakes, please."
"Sure." Shinji walked off. Before he did, he noticed someone under a blanket stir, their arm falling out. Shinji paused, grabbed a can of Yebisu from atop Melchior, and placed it in the hand.
Misato grumbled a low "Thanks, Shinji," before retracting the hand. Kensuke laughed as Shinji walked off. Before Shinji could get too far down the corridor, he could hear a loud "Eyaaaaaaaah!"
[Damn, she can scull them quick.]
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Shinji got to the cafeteria, and was surprised to see people already cooking. "Hey, Shinji," one of them called out.
[Yes! I don't have to cook this morning!] he thought to himself. "Hey guys! One scrambled eggs on toast, and one serve of pancakes, thanks."
"Ah, you taking orders, are you? They'll be about five minutes. Here's your sausage and egg muffin."
Shinji collected his breakfast. "Arigatou," he said as he went to the Dining Hall. He was looking about for a seat when.
"Hey, over here!" Shinji turned to find Asuka in the middle of her third plate of bacon and eggs.
"Hey there, Asuka," Shinji said, setting his plate down next to Asuka. She swallowed a chunk of egg and smiled.
"Remind me to thank Rei for organizing this party," she said as Shinji took a bite from his muffin. They both continued on with their breakfast.
"So, why are you up so early?" Shinji asked.
"Got too cold in bed."
"Aww, I'm sorry."
"Don't you patronize me, baka boy!" Asuka laughed. Shinji put his muffin- less arm around Asuka.
"Shinji." Asuka began, "Thanks.for everything."
Asuka's hand reached for her new pendant. It seemed to glisten in the bright lights of the cafeteria.
"As soon as I've finished this," Asuka said, "I'm gonna find Ritsuko and cut her a new."
"No.don't, Asuka," Shinji said.
"Why not?"
"She wasn't herself.her mother was doing all this."
"And how did you figure that out?"
"My mother told me."
Asuka was tempted to ask her boyfriend what the hell he was going on about when she decided against it.
"And plus, I don't even think she's conscious yet. I did throw her through double glazed reinforced windows, after all."
Asuka remembered a question she was going to ask Shinji. "By the way, how in hell did you do that!?"
"I was just so.angry.with her." Shinji began, "She called me a monster, and then.well.I picked her up and threw her out the window."
"Oh." Asuka ate another forkful of bacon.
"Hey, can I sit here?" Shinji and Asuka turned around. Maya Ibuki stood there, a can of coffee in her hand.
"Sure." Shinji said. Maya sat down beside Shinji.
"Listen, I just want to."
"No need," Shinji interrupted.
"But Shinji, I - "
"You were loyal to the one you love. That isn't a crime."
Asuka looked at Shinji as he continued. "I understand what you did, and I might've done the same thing in your situation. I didn't realize that until I fell in love myself."
Shinji now turned his head to face Maya. "All you did was express your love to her. Whether she was sensible enough to recognize it or not doesn't matter: you still did the right thing. If you want to apologize to someone, apologize to Hikari. You never did anything wrong, but Hikari might not understand that."
Maya remained silent for awhile. "Thanks, Shinji." She then stood up and left.
"Is that how you see love?" Asuka asked Shinji.
"In my opinion, love is to care for someone, to try and help them when they're not at ease, and to stand by them in times of hardship." Shinji turned to Asuka. "That's what I want to share with you."
"I." Asuka was speechless, "I don't know what to say."
"Just say you love me."
Her eyes began to water. "Oh, of course I do, baka!" She embraced Shinji, holding him like there was no tomorrow.
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"Yes. Apparently they think the Angels are no more."
'Mrs. Kasumi Suzuhara' was on the phone, reporting her discoveries to her superior.
# And the fourth child? #
"He doesn't seem to remember the events surrounding the defeat of the Thirteenth Angel. This may be as a result of the Angel attack itself, or Doctor Akagi's work.Your plan was successful. Toji seems to believe I am his real mother."
# I see.did Nagisa reveal the existence of the others? #
"No, Project Omega remains a secret."
# Good.remain at your post, and report any abnormal activity immediately. #
"Of course," she replied, "I won't let you down, Commander Loreanz."
She pressed "End" on her phone. As she did, the distinct sound of a gun breach sliding back emanated from behind her.
"So you're gonna kill me, like you did with Kaji."
"Correct," The distinctly cold voice of Gendo Ikari reverberated through the room, "But before you die, you will tell me of this Project Omega that you discussed with Keele just before."
"You know I can't do that, Commander."
"That's a shame. But still, it is good to know that those old fools at SEELE are still alive.maybe I should drop them a line sometime."
'Kasumi' glanced around the room. Only now did she notice that the small apartment was different. "I should've seen that your men had visited earlier," she said to Gendo.
"Goodbye, Kasumi Sugiyama."
The gunshot echoed through the apartment block, scaring many of its inhabitants, one of which left his flat to investigate. He saw a man in a official looking brown suit and sunglasses leaving the apartment. As the elevator closed, the man saw the assailant remove a white glove from his hand, now stained with blood. He ran for the apartment, and was greeted by the sight of his ex-neighbor Kasumi's gray matter scattered throughout the living area.
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Kensuke had sneaked his way to the Development lab, near the top of the NERV complex. In his hands lay his five second lapse camera, with his precious film. As he closed the door behind him, he fumbled for the IR light switch. When he found it, the room lit up in a red glow. Kensuke chuckled to himself as he opened his camera and retrieved the film. Unwinding it, he soaked it thoroughly in a solution, causing the light radiation absorbed by the film to react, and thus create a negative. Hanging up his negatives to dry, he left the room, chuckling to himself.
[This'll be the best set of prints ever! I'll have so much blackmail material.] he thought to himself, as he went to pick up his breakfast from the cafeteria across the hall.
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By the time Rei had decided to rise from her sleeping bag, a rather large pile of crushed beer cans had accumulated to the side of Misato's makeshift bed. Rei noticed that a few more people had already risen; only a couple of Asuka's friends, Hikari, Toji and Misato herself were still asleep (or in Misato's case, just couldn't be stuffed getting up). She walked to the door before she heard a soft call, emanating from Misato's blanket.
"Can you get me another beer?" Misato called out. Rei reached over to Melchior, grabbing yet another Yebisu for a drunk-many-times-over Misato. Rolling it under a lifted segment of the blanket, she heard a grunt of thanks and a ring-pull being ripped off of a can of beer. Rei walked on, waiting for Misato's trademark just-finished-sculling-another-morning-beer yell. Stepping out into the hallway, as if on cue, Misato let out her yell, waking up Hikari and Toji.
"Aah!" Hikari and Toji shouted in unison. They sat up, looking across at each other.
"Who the hell was that!?" Hikari asked Toji.
"Probably the Major," Toji informed Hikari, "She always does that after a beer."
"Beer!? This early in the morning!?" Hikari was shocked. Her image of a peerless, perfect Major Misato Katsuragi was destroyed, as have many an image of a peerless, perfect Major Misato Katsuragi.
"Shinji always told me she was a slob, but God-DAMN!" After Toji's statement, Misato finally rose out of bed. [Jeez, it can't be later than eight in the morning!] "Ah well."
"Hey, what's with the 'ah well'?" Hikari asked. Then it hit her. "You used to have a crush on her."
"Uh." Toji debated in his mind whether to tell her or not, or whether it was already too late.
"It's okay," Hikari said, in an almost monotone voice.
"No, wait, Hikari," Toji began, "It was a while ago, before I really knew you. It was just a stupid schoolboy crush."
"I said it's okay," Hikari said, smiling at Toji. Toji wasn't sure whether to believe her or not. [Usually when something like this happens the chick's all emotional.] He looked into Hikari's eyes, for any sign of depression.
"What?" she looked back, wondering what the hell her boyfriend was doing. She started to smile involuntarily, finding the whole situation pretty funny. Toji smiled. [She really must be okay with it.]
"Nothing," Toji said, as he started to get up. Hikari soon followed.
At that time, Asuka reentered the room. "Well, well, well," she grinned, "Had a late night, did we?"
The couple blushed. "Well, your love life really is none of my business," Asuka laughed.
"What brings you here, Asuka?"
"Figured you guys might be hungry," Asuka said, "Want to go grab a bite to eat?"
"Yeah, sure." The couple followed the Second Child out the door. As Asuka was about to exit, a loud groan could be heard from under a rug next to Melchior.
"You've gone through twelve this morning already," Asuka told Misato, "You need to try and cut down."
"Grrr.fuck you, Asuka."
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Kensuke fed one of the negatives into the projector, and turned the regular light off. He then flicked on the IR light, and moved back to the projector. He turned it on, and began to wait. The image in the negative projected itself onto a blank sheet of photo paper, burning the image onto it. He waited a few seconds, and then turned it off. Taking the sheet of paper, he dunked it into another shallow pool of reeking chemical, picking up the tub and swishing it back and forth, washing the chemical over the picture. After a while, he took it out and looked at it. A perfect color glossy of Shinji and Asuka, in the throes of a deep pash.
[This'll fetch a pretty penny from Shinji and the Devil,] Kensuke thought, [Better not show her yet. She'll probably beat me to a pulp before she even thought about tearing up the picture.] He left the picture to dry, hanging it on a string that went across the small room. Kensuke smiled, then went to work on the next picture.
-------------------
"Just up there, second door on the right," Asuka directed the guests into the cafeteria. Toji opened the door for Hikari, and she went on through. Toji stood at the door, waiting for the She-Devil to go inside.
"No, I've got some other business to take care of," Asuka said. Toji shut the door after him.
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Kensuke could hear voices outside the door, and recognized one of them as Toji. Kensuke grinned. [Toji would love to be in on this as well!] As he got closer to the door, he recognized someone else's voice.
[Asuka!] Kensuke went to do a quick U-turn, but his elbow accidentally clipped something on a table, due to the bad light. A glass object of some sort fell to the ground, and Kensuke could do nothing, but wait for it to shatter on impact.
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Asuka was about to walk off when she heard something shatter. She froze immediately, and looked for the source of the sound. There was only one door on the right side of that corridor...
[Hmm.did it come from the photo lab?] Asuka walked to the photo lab door, pressing her ear against it, waiting for its occupant to make another sound.
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Kensuke hurriedly pinned his eye to the door, to see if the shatter had drawn any unwanted attention. Seeing Asuka walk towards the door metaphorically ripped out Kensuke's innards, pulverized them in a blender, dropped them on the ground, squashed them a bit, and then tried to glue them back into Kensuke's gaping cavity.
[Shiiiiiit!] Kensuke quickly searched for a hiding spot, and realized that the room was one big dead end. He hurriedly turned off the lights, and hid behind the door. In the few seconds he had before the door opened, he felt inside his pocket, wrapping his hand around the self-defense taser he had bought himself a few weeks back (ironically, when he tried a similar stunt against Asuka). A sudden, chilling thought rushed through his head. Looking up, he saw the damning photograph he had just developed. [Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!] Before he could try to remove it, the door swung open.
Sure enough, it was Asuka cautiously opening the door.
"Hello-o?" she called out in an almost sing-song voice. "Is a-ny-bo-dy he- ere?"
Kensuke pulled the taser out of his pocket. Asuka looked around the room, spotting the photograph. "Hmm.what's this?" She unclipped the photo from the drying line, and examined it. The perfectly developed color picture depicted herself and Shinji, sucking each other's face. The hardly recognizable background could've been anything from (Asuka thought about the numerous places she had kissed Shinji.) the Katsuragi estate, Shinji's Lovely suite, the hot springs at Mt. Asama, or, more likely, the Cage.
"Oh, a bit of a voyeur, are we?" Asuka said out aloud, realizing that Kensuke Aida was still in the room. [That freckled freak's gonna pay!]
Kensuke shut the door, and turned off all the lights. Asuka was now left in the dark, Kensuke, being adjusted to it, could at least see. He walked forward, holding out the taser.
Asuka was dead silent. [Damn you, Kensuke!] she thought, [Just be quiet, Asuka, you'll hear him.]
Kensuke tested the taser, watching the electric pulse spark up between the arches. Unfortunately, the blue light bounced off the walls, as did the buzzing sound it generated. Asuka pounced, grabbing the Stooge's arm and chopping at the wrist. When the taser hit the ground, Asuka pulled Kensuke's arm over her shoulder, and dropped Kensuke to the ground with a textbook throw. Asuka ran for the light switch, confirming her assumption that Kensuke was the intruder.
"So, what's this little toy you've bought to play with, huh?" Asuka smirked. Kensuke groaned on the floor. Asuka picked up the taser.
"You know, this could've really hurt," she grinned devilishly, "Not to mention ruin my perfect complexion."
"Please don't." Kensuke remembered what happened last time they tried something like this: Normally the girls' changing rooms' windows were made of two layers of one-way glass, reflective on the outer layers only. Years before, the older classmen removed the outer layer of glass, leaving one layer of one-way glass, facing inwards. The girls didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but the guys sure did: an unrestricted view of many a high school chick getting changed. When the Stooges found this spot, they agreed that it was far better than the spot they used to use, and Asuka became a much greater target for some amateur photography. During the getaway from one such photo shoot, Kensuke knew that he couldn't run faster than Shinji or Toji, let alone Asuka, so he shocked Toji with the taser, left the camera with him and bolted. Toji didn't turn up at school for a fortnight afterwards.
Asuka inspected the taser. "Ha! This little baby brings back memories now, doesn't it?" Asuka feigned tripping over, and triggered the taser, sending fifty-odd thousand volts of power coursing into the Aida boy. His screams reverberated through the small room.
"AaAaAaAaAaAh! Shit! That hurts!" Kensuke screamed. [What kind of monster is she!?]
"Oh, I'm sorry, must've tripped." Asuka continued to use the taser at regular intervals.
"Do you get off by torturing people or something!?" Kensuke cried in between taser bursts, "God, I pity Shinji."
"No, I just get off by torturing Stooges!" Asuka laughed. Applying the taser again, she gave a rather good imitation of sexual cries. "Oh, Kensuke! Scream a little louder! Oh, Kensuke! Oh, oh, oooooh!"
Kensuke's back was hurting from all of the jolts, so he rolled over. Big mistake. Despite the torture, Asuka's erotic moans had an untold effect on him, especially in the groin area.
Asuka noticed it, and electrified his bits and pieces in disgust. "Perverse dumbkopf! Baka hentai!"
Kensuke suddenly didn't have the mind to cry for help. His attention was drawn to something a little more immediate.
The door creaked open. Shinji entered, and wasn't sure what to make of the scene in front of him. At this stage, Asuka was straddling the Stooge, repeatedly stunning Kensuke's chest with the taser, not that Shinji could see the taser from where he was.
Shinji could only find one appropriate expression. "What the FUCK is going on here!?"
"See for yourself." Asuka motioned toward the picture she had placed on the bench. Shinji picked it up, and immediately realized what was going on.
"Kensuke! What is this?" Shinji turned to his best friend, lying crippled underneath Asuka's 36-24-36 (Shinji's rough, biased estimate) frame. "You went behind our backs and took photos of us?"
"Shinji.help." Kensuke whimpered before becoming a human Christmas tree once more.
"Well that explains the position you're in," Shinji said, "but what about those cries you made, Asuka?"
The mistress laughed. "Well, apparently torturing people turns me on," she said, in a faux matter-of-fact voice. Embedding the dangerous end of the taser back into Kensuke's midsection, she mimicked her previous cries.
Shinji smiled. "Pretty convincing," he complimented, "You had me fooled. Outside, all I heard was you and a buzzing noise." Asuka thought this was hilarious, and continued her thunderous assault.
"I think he's had enough, Asuka," Shinji said, "He's learnt his lesson."
"What, are you siding with the Stooge now?" Asuka was shocked.
"No, I just think he wants to deal his way out of this predicament." Shinji said. After a short pause, "Who else is on that film?"
"If your girlfriend lets me get up, I can get the negatives for you."
Asuka stood up, letting Kensuke stand up. He hobbled toward a table, and picked up a handful of negatives. As he approached Shinji, he whispered something.
"You bastard.I thought you.were my friend."
Shinji's reply: "I am. I just saved your life."
He handed Shinji the negatives. Shinji held them to the light. "Okay, I see.Misato drunk off her head and clothed only from the waist down.confirmation of Dr. Akagi and Lt. Ibuki's sexuality.ooh, you and Rei.and this famous picture." Shinji lifted the copy of him and Asuka in the Cage. Shinji took the photo in both hands and ripped the photo down the center.
"Please don't take offence, darling," he said to Asuka, who smiled at Shinji's dry brand of humor.
"You can keep the negative, but that particular shot has to go," Asuka demanded. Kensuke nodded slowly.
Shinji had more demands. "You use these photos, you include us in your demands."
Asuka was confused. "Demands?"
"How.do you think.we were.gonna use.those shots.of you?" Kensuke panted.
"Just gimme one more shot at him."
"Wait, Asuka," Shinji stopped Asuka before she got homicidal. "He's right. They, WERE," shooting a look at Kensuke, "going to use them for that. I've got the pictures hidden inside my cello at home. You can rip them up yourself when you get home."
Asuka took all this in, and nodded. "Now, Asuka, put the taser down." Asuka shot Shinji a dirty look. "Please."
Asuka nodded, lowering the device to the floor. Shinji silently thanked Asuka with a nod. Shinji searched the table for some scissors. Picking up a handy pair, he snipped at the last frame of the negative in his hand, the one depicting him and Asuka. After he was satisfied that he had made a large enough mess of that frame, he put down the negative.
"C'mon, man," he said to Kensuke, "Let's get you to an Infirmary."
"Uh, yeah, sorry about all that, Kensuke," Shinji and Kensuke both turned around to see Asuka.
"What? Come on, it was funny!"
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What is the enigmatic Project Omega that Gendo was talking about? Would Misato last one morning without beer? Have I started to run out of cheesy questions to put at the end of a chapter!? (uh.yes.) Please, just read the FINAL CHAPTER of The Last Thing She Expected!
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My First Omake (pleeeease be the right word): It Wasn't Half Obvious.
At 7:30, on the dot, Rei opened her eyes. [Damn training,] she thought, [I really need a couple more hours of sleep.]
Rei closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, but to no avail. Having no life outside of Gendo's or Ritsuko's control resulted in her waking at 7:30 every morning. [Dammit!] She rolled over, or would have, if it wasn't for something preventing her. She tried to shrug off the blanket around her, only to find that she was in a sleeping bag.
[Oh yeah, I didn't bring bedding of my own.] Rei used this knowledge and changed her rolling-over technique in accordance. But still there was something stopping her. She looked across to her right. The freckled, spectacled face of Kensuke Aida faced her, still snoring away.
[Aida!? Why are we.did we.?] Rei's mind raced. [Why can't I remember anything? Did I get.drunk?]
Rei smiled. [Hah.I'm acting normally.well, for a teenager.] Kensuke stirred beside Rei. He opened his eyes slightly. At first, Kensuke could barely make out the shape of another person opposite him. Then his vision came into focus.
"Whoa! Good morning, Rei!" Fortunately, this wasn't nearly as loud as it seemed.
"Good morning, Ai - ah, god dammit! Uh.Kensuke!"
Kensuke face-faltered. "Well, it's nice to know you remember me," he said sarcastically.
"Sorry, Kensuke. It's.the whole.last-name thing."
"Huh? Oh, no, don't take me seriously, Rei. I was being sarcastic. You know, joking?"
"Oh. A joke." She looked into Kensuke's eyes. Two broad grins crossed their faces. They then lay back on the ground.
"Um, Kensuke."
"Yeah?"
"Did we.you know."
"Uh.I'm sorry, Rei." Kensuke looked down.
[We did.] Rei smiled. [Shame I can't remember it.] "Was I.um.any good?"
Kensuke sat up in shock. [Last thing I expected Rei to ask.] He lay back down, and faced Rei again. "Well, let's just say now I know why everyone calls you the blue-haired wonder."
Rei smiled. "I could say the same of you.but."
Kensuke's face flushed. "But what?"
"You don't have blue hair."
Kensuke found such a stupid joke hilarious in his current mindset, and tried his best to keep his laughter down.
"Hmm." Kensuke looked back up. "Looks like they finally won."
"Who won? What do you mean?"
"You mean you never picked up? God, it wasn't half obvious."
"I don't understand."
"Haven't you noticed everyone trying to set us up!? Jeez! Ever since Asuka turned up, every second thing anyone's said to me was 'when are you gonna ask out Rei?'"
"Come to think of it, it was Maya's idea to pash you last night."
"Toji, other guys at school, hell, even the author of this bloody fan-fic!"
"Yeah, I mean, why would we sing Crawling together? That'd be the last song I'd sing in a duet."
"Maybe Bring Me to Life, but Crawling."
Rei gasped. "You like Evanescence too!?"
"Yeah, I hate the new kind of music. It got too poppy after the Twenty- Tens."
"Ha.I thought I was the only one."
"Yeah.well I suppose Psyanchosis could've made get into a series of funny yet embarrassing situations."
Just then, a giant ghostly hand descended through the ceiling, and a booming voice rang out clear throughout the Bridge. "Yeah, damn straight I could've," I said, pointing at the couple.
Unfortunately, this woke up most of the room's other inhabitants. Misato turned to Rei and Kensuke.
"Unh, dammit, Kensuke, don't talk about the author while others are sleeping!" she half-yawned, half-yelled.
"Just leave 'em alone, Misato," I tried to calm her down.
"No, dammit! I wanted sleep! I was up till three last night, because these two fuckers", thumbing toward Rei and Kensuke, "were.ah, well.fucking!"
Rei thought a bible quote was appropriate. "Well, the Lord did say 'be fruitful and multiply'."
"Aw, fuckin' hell, Rei."
I added, "The Lord also said 'shut the hell up, Misato'! Go back to sleep!" The astral hand clicked its fingers, and all who were awake, apart from Rei and Kensuke, fell asleep again.
Kensuke looked to the roof. "Thanks," he said.
"Anytime," I said, as I withdrew my hand. The lovers looked at each other again.
"Dammit," Rei complained, "I can't get back to sleep." She looked at Kensuke saucily.
"Oh, bugger." Kensuke grinned. "Nor can I."
(still better be the right word.)
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Note: My real name is NOT Hideaki Anno. I do not own Gainax or any of its creations let alone Neon Genesis: Evangelion. Characters, locations, themes, and ideas used in this fic are used without permission from Gainax or Hideaki Anno.
Author's Note: That chapter was bloody big. At least by my standards. Apart from that, I'm sorry if the last scene in the photo lab seemed a little out of place. I was writing it while watching a certain piece of cinematic perfection called Die Hard. You guys are lucky that Asuka didn't kill Kensuke, all the while shouting "Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" Anyway, the whole thing will come to a head next chapter. Once again, thanks to all my readers and reviewers. You guys are the ones that have kept this going. By the way, I have to give credit to ChiRho and his highly recommended fan fic 'The Ikari Doctrine' for the idea about the school change rooms. Be sure to hang around for the last chapter of this fic, coming soon. Sayonara!
Last time on The Last Gift She Expected.Rei is determined to punish Ritsuko in exactly the same method as was done to her during the Angel attacks, with a plethora of syringes and needles. The truth of Rei's personality is revealed to Hikari and Toji. Asuka and Shinji track down Hikari as far as Ritsuko's, where they are ambushed, Asuka falling victim to Ritsuko's serum. Shinji went into a blind rage, defeating both his inner demons and Ritsuko. Meanwhile, Misato stumbles across a surprising revelation: Toji apparently still has a mother!
And without further ado.
The Last Gift She Expected, Chapter 9: The Morning After : Shinji the Negotiator
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Maya's eyes opened slowly. It looked like the human whirlwind had passed, and from what she saw, she didn't want to be on the receiving end of any form of attack by Shinji.
[If Shinji could use that kind of martial prowess against his own girlfriend, then I'd hate to see what he could do to an enemy.] Then she remembered that she already has: the gruesome sight of Eva Unit 01 eating the 14th Angel stayed in her mind ever since.
She shifted the weight of her head, so that she could see the wall clock. [Shit! 7:06!] Maya sat up, rubbing her head. Suddenly, a sharp pain jabbed at her stomach. Maya clutched her stomach, still sore from Rei's stiff right knee. She slowly stood up, and noticed that the venetian blinds were missing from the.no, scratch that, the was missing from the window.
She walked to the door, and was shocked by what she saw. "Sempai!" she ran to the still prone body of Ritsuko. Maya knelt down and checked her pulse. [Thank God, she's still alive.who could've done this? Not.Shinji!?]
Maya was about to stand up and run for the Infirmary, when a thought entered her head. [Why?]
She stopped, almost at her feet. [Why am I defending her? What has she done for me? Or more to the point, what has she done TO me? She didn't inject me with that stuff, did she? In the last few days, she hasn't been herself. She isn't with.another.]
Maya knelt down again. "I.I don't need you," she said, striking the unconscious Ritsuko across the face with an open hand. She rose, and walked alone to the Bridge.
--------------
At 7:30, on the dot, Rei opened her eyes. [Damn training,] she thought, [I really need a couple more hours of sleep.]
Rei closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, but to no avail. Having no life outside of Gendo's or Ritsuko's control resulted in her waking at 7:30 every morning. [Dammit!] She rolled over, or would have, if it wasn't for something preventing her. She tried to shrug off the blanket around her, only to find that she was in a sleeping bag.
[Oh yeah, I didn't bring bedding of my own.] Rei used this knowledge and changed her rolling-over technique in accordance. But still there was something stopping her. She looked across to her right. The freckled, spectacled face of Kensuke Aida faced her, still snoring away.
[Aida!? Why are we.did we.?] Rei's mind raced. [Why can't I remember anything? Did I get.drunk?]
Rei smiled. [Hah.I'm acting normally.well, for a teenager.] Kensuke stirred beside Rei. He opened his eyes slightly. At first, Kensuke could barely make out the shape of another person opposite him. Then his vision came into focus.
"Whoa! Good morning, Rei!" Fortunately, this wasn't nearly as loud as it seemed.
"Good morning, Ai - ah, god dammit! Uh.Kensuke!"
Kensuke face-faltered. "Well, it's nice to know you remember me," he said sarcastically.
"Sorry, Kensuke. It's.the whole.last-name thing."
"Huh? Oh, no, don't take me seriously, Rei. I was being sarcastic. You know, joking?"
"Oh. A joke." She looked into Kensuke's eyes. Two broad grins crossed their faces. They then lay back on the ground, staring at the ceiling.
"Um, Kensuke."
"Yeah?"
"Did we.you know."
"Uh.I'm sorry, Rei." Kensuke looked down.
[We did.] Rei smiled. [Shame I can't remember it.] "Was I.um.any good?"
Kensuke sat up in shock. [Last thing I expected Rei to ask.] He lay back down, and faced Rei again. "Well, let's just say now I know why everyone calls you the blue-haired wonder."
Rei smiled. "I could say the same of you.but."
Kensuke's face flushed. "But what?"
"You don't have blue hair."
Kensuke found such a stupid joke hilarious in his current mindset, and tried his best to keep his laughter down.
"You know, I had no idea you were into that kind of music, Rei."
"Oh yeah," Rei said, matter-of-factly, "I've got a few BluVDs full of MP3s. Linkin Park, NERD, POD, Evanescence."
"Hmm.maybe that would've been a better song for a duet." Kensuke lamented, referring to Evanescence's Bring Me To Life.
"Yeah."
"So.what do you do for spare time?"
"Me? Hmm.I never really had much spare time.when I did I'd go home and play a bit of multi-player."
"Really!?" Kensuke had struck gold. "What's your game?"
"Bit of this, bit of that.I'm unstoppable in Terminal Force."
"You mean that new Half Life 2.0 mod? Well, I suppose you guys got involved with play-testing, didn't you? I mean, you three are actually in the game." Kensuke remembered playing Terminal Force for the first time, and being completely surprised to find that Shinji, Rei and Asuka were all playable characters. "I wonder how they got the rights to use skins of you pilots?"
"You think NERV gets by solely on hand-outs from the UN?" Rei liked this new concept of sarcasm.
Kensuke laughed. "Getting more human all the time.", commenting on Rei's new persona.
"Hey, you guys awake?" Kensuke and Rei glanced across the floor, pinpointing the source of the question.
"Hey, it's Shinji," Kensuke said, recognizing the voice of his buddy. Shinji was sitting in one of the bridge-bunny chairs, sipping away at a can of coffee. "How long have you been awake for?"
"Since about half-past six," Shinji said. "You guys want to eat?"
"Yeah, sure," Kensuke said, "Scrambled eggs on toast. What do you want, Rei?"
"Um.just get me some pancakes, please."
"Sure." Shinji walked off. Before he did, he noticed someone under a blanket stir, their arm falling out. Shinji paused, grabbed a can of Yebisu from atop Melchior, and placed it in the hand.
Misato grumbled a low "Thanks, Shinji," before retracting the hand. Kensuke laughed as Shinji walked off. Before Shinji could get too far down the corridor, he could hear a loud "Eyaaaaaaaah!"
[Damn, she can scull them quick.]
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Shinji got to the cafeteria, and was surprised to see people already cooking. "Hey, Shinji," one of them called out.
[Yes! I don't have to cook this morning!] he thought to himself. "Hey guys! One scrambled eggs on toast, and one serve of pancakes, thanks."
"Ah, you taking orders, are you? They'll be about five minutes. Here's your sausage and egg muffin."
Shinji collected his breakfast. "Arigatou," he said as he went to the Dining Hall. He was looking about for a seat when.
"Hey, over here!" Shinji turned to find Asuka in the middle of her third plate of bacon and eggs.
"Hey there, Asuka," Shinji said, setting his plate down next to Asuka. She swallowed a chunk of egg and smiled.
"Remind me to thank Rei for organizing this party," she said as Shinji took a bite from his muffin. They both continued on with their breakfast.
"So, why are you up so early?" Shinji asked.
"Got too cold in bed."
"Aww, I'm sorry."
"Don't you patronize me, baka boy!" Asuka laughed. Shinji put his muffin- less arm around Asuka.
"Shinji." Asuka began, "Thanks.for everything."
Asuka's hand reached for her new pendant. It seemed to glisten in the bright lights of the cafeteria.
"As soon as I've finished this," Asuka said, "I'm gonna find Ritsuko and cut her a new."
"No.don't, Asuka," Shinji said.
"Why not?"
"She wasn't herself.her mother was doing all this."
"And how did you figure that out?"
"My mother told me."
Asuka was tempted to ask her boyfriend what the hell he was going on about when she decided against it.
"And plus, I don't even think she's conscious yet. I did throw her through double glazed reinforced windows, after all."
Asuka remembered a question she was going to ask Shinji. "By the way, how in hell did you do that!?"
"I was just so.angry.with her." Shinji began, "She called me a monster, and then.well.I picked her up and threw her out the window."
"Oh." Asuka ate another forkful of bacon.
"Hey, can I sit here?" Shinji and Asuka turned around. Maya Ibuki stood there, a can of coffee in her hand.
"Sure." Shinji said. Maya sat down beside Shinji.
"Listen, I just want to."
"No need," Shinji interrupted.
"But Shinji, I - "
"You were loyal to the one you love. That isn't a crime."
Asuka looked at Shinji as he continued. "I understand what you did, and I might've done the same thing in your situation. I didn't realize that until I fell in love myself."
Shinji now turned his head to face Maya. "All you did was express your love to her. Whether she was sensible enough to recognize it or not doesn't matter: you still did the right thing. If you want to apologize to someone, apologize to Hikari. You never did anything wrong, but Hikari might not understand that."
Maya remained silent for awhile. "Thanks, Shinji." She then stood up and left.
"Is that how you see love?" Asuka asked Shinji.
"In my opinion, love is to care for someone, to try and help them when they're not at ease, and to stand by them in times of hardship." Shinji turned to Asuka. "That's what I want to share with you."
"I." Asuka was speechless, "I don't know what to say."
"Just say you love me."
Her eyes began to water. "Oh, of course I do, baka!" She embraced Shinji, holding him like there was no tomorrow.
----------------
"Yes. Apparently they think the Angels are no more."
'Mrs. Kasumi Suzuhara' was on the phone, reporting her discoveries to her superior.
# And the fourth child? #
"He doesn't seem to remember the events surrounding the defeat of the Thirteenth Angel. This may be as a result of the Angel attack itself, or Doctor Akagi's work.Your plan was successful. Toji seems to believe I am his real mother."
# I see.did Nagisa reveal the existence of the others? #
"No, Project Omega remains a secret."
# Good.remain at your post, and report any abnormal activity immediately. #
"Of course," she replied, "I won't let you down, Commander Loreanz."
She pressed "End" on her phone. As she did, the distinct sound of a gun breach sliding back emanated from behind her.
"So you're gonna kill me, like you did with Kaji."
"Correct," The distinctly cold voice of Gendo Ikari reverberated through the room, "But before you die, you will tell me of this Project Omega that you discussed with Keele just before."
"You know I can't do that, Commander."
"That's a shame. But still, it is good to know that those old fools at SEELE are still alive.maybe I should drop them a line sometime."
'Kasumi' glanced around the room. Only now did she notice that the small apartment was different. "I should've seen that your men had visited earlier," she said to Gendo.
"Goodbye, Kasumi Sugiyama."
The gunshot echoed through the apartment block, scaring many of its inhabitants, one of which left his flat to investigate. He saw a man in a official looking brown suit and sunglasses leaving the apartment. As the elevator closed, the man saw the assailant remove a white glove from his hand, now stained with blood. He ran for the apartment, and was greeted by the sight of his ex-neighbor Kasumi's gray matter scattered throughout the living area.
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Kensuke had sneaked his way to the Development lab, near the top of the NERV complex. In his hands lay his five second lapse camera, with his precious film. As he closed the door behind him, he fumbled for the IR light switch. When he found it, the room lit up in a red glow. Kensuke chuckled to himself as he opened his camera and retrieved the film. Unwinding it, he soaked it thoroughly in a solution, causing the light radiation absorbed by the film to react, and thus create a negative. Hanging up his negatives to dry, he left the room, chuckling to himself.
[This'll be the best set of prints ever! I'll have so much blackmail material.] he thought to himself, as he went to pick up his breakfast from the cafeteria across the hall.
-------------------
By the time Rei had decided to rise from her sleeping bag, a rather large pile of crushed beer cans had accumulated to the side of Misato's makeshift bed. Rei noticed that a few more people had already risen; only a couple of Asuka's friends, Hikari, Toji and Misato herself were still asleep (or in Misato's case, just couldn't be stuffed getting up). She walked to the door before she heard a soft call, emanating from Misato's blanket.
"Can you get me another beer?" Misato called out. Rei reached over to Melchior, grabbing yet another Yebisu for a drunk-many-times-over Misato. Rolling it under a lifted segment of the blanket, she heard a grunt of thanks and a ring-pull being ripped off of a can of beer. Rei walked on, waiting for Misato's trademark just-finished-sculling-another-morning-beer yell. Stepping out into the hallway, as if on cue, Misato let out her yell, waking up Hikari and Toji.
"Aah!" Hikari and Toji shouted in unison. They sat up, looking across at each other.
"Who the hell was that!?" Hikari asked Toji.
"Probably the Major," Toji informed Hikari, "She always does that after a beer."
"Beer!? This early in the morning!?" Hikari was shocked. Her image of a peerless, perfect Major Misato Katsuragi was destroyed, as have many an image of a peerless, perfect Major Misato Katsuragi.
"Shinji always told me she was a slob, but God-DAMN!" After Toji's statement, Misato finally rose out of bed. [Jeez, it can't be later than eight in the morning!] "Ah well."
"Hey, what's with the 'ah well'?" Hikari asked. Then it hit her. "You used to have a crush on her."
"Uh." Toji debated in his mind whether to tell her or not, or whether it was already too late.
"It's okay," Hikari said, in an almost monotone voice.
"No, wait, Hikari," Toji began, "It was a while ago, before I really knew you. It was just a stupid schoolboy crush."
"I said it's okay," Hikari said, smiling at Toji. Toji wasn't sure whether to believe her or not. [Usually when something like this happens the chick's all emotional.] He looked into Hikari's eyes, for any sign of depression.
"What?" she looked back, wondering what the hell her boyfriend was doing. She started to smile involuntarily, finding the whole situation pretty funny. Toji smiled. [She really must be okay with it.]
"Nothing," Toji said, as he started to get up. Hikari soon followed.
At that time, Asuka reentered the room. "Well, well, well," she grinned, "Had a late night, did we?"
The couple blushed. "Well, your love life really is none of my business," Asuka laughed.
"What brings you here, Asuka?"
"Figured you guys might be hungry," Asuka said, "Want to go grab a bite to eat?"
"Yeah, sure." The couple followed the Second Child out the door. As Asuka was about to exit, a loud groan could be heard from under a rug next to Melchior.
"You've gone through twelve this morning already," Asuka told Misato, "You need to try and cut down."
"Grrr.fuck you, Asuka."
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Kensuke fed one of the negatives into the projector, and turned the regular light off. He then flicked on the IR light, and moved back to the projector. He turned it on, and began to wait. The image in the negative projected itself onto a blank sheet of photo paper, burning the image onto it. He waited a few seconds, and then turned it off. Taking the sheet of paper, he dunked it into another shallow pool of reeking chemical, picking up the tub and swishing it back and forth, washing the chemical over the picture. After a while, he took it out and looked at it. A perfect color glossy of Shinji and Asuka, in the throes of a deep pash.
[This'll fetch a pretty penny from Shinji and the Devil,] Kensuke thought, [Better not show her yet. She'll probably beat me to a pulp before she even thought about tearing up the picture.] He left the picture to dry, hanging it on a string that went across the small room. Kensuke smiled, then went to work on the next picture.
-------------------
"Just up there, second door on the right," Asuka directed the guests into the cafeteria. Toji opened the door for Hikari, and she went on through. Toji stood at the door, waiting for the She-Devil to go inside.
"No, I've got some other business to take care of," Asuka said. Toji shut the door after him.
-------------------
Kensuke could hear voices outside the door, and recognized one of them as Toji. Kensuke grinned. [Toji would love to be in on this as well!] As he got closer to the door, he recognized someone else's voice.
[Asuka!] Kensuke went to do a quick U-turn, but his elbow accidentally clipped something on a table, due to the bad light. A glass object of some sort fell to the ground, and Kensuke could do nothing, but wait for it to shatter on impact.
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Asuka was about to walk off when she heard something shatter. She froze immediately, and looked for the source of the sound. There was only one door on the right side of that corridor...
[Hmm.did it come from the photo lab?] Asuka walked to the photo lab door, pressing her ear against it, waiting for its occupant to make another sound.
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Kensuke hurriedly pinned his eye to the door, to see if the shatter had drawn any unwanted attention. Seeing Asuka walk towards the door metaphorically ripped out Kensuke's innards, pulverized them in a blender, dropped them on the ground, squashed them a bit, and then tried to glue them back into Kensuke's gaping cavity.
[Shiiiiiit!] Kensuke quickly searched for a hiding spot, and realized that the room was one big dead end. He hurriedly turned off the lights, and hid behind the door. In the few seconds he had before the door opened, he felt inside his pocket, wrapping his hand around the self-defense taser he had bought himself a few weeks back (ironically, when he tried a similar stunt against Asuka). A sudden, chilling thought rushed through his head. Looking up, he saw the damning photograph he had just developed. [Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!] Before he could try to remove it, the door swung open.
Sure enough, it was Asuka cautiously opening the door.
"Hello-o?" she called out in an almost sing-song voice. "Is a-ny-bo-dy he- ere?"
Kensuke pulled the taser out of his pocket. Asuka looked around the room, spotting the photograph. "Hmm.what's this?" She unclipped the photo from the drying line, and examined it. The perfectly developed color picture depicted herself and Shinji, sucking each other's face. The hardly recognizable background could've been anything from (Asuka thought about the numerous places she had kissed Shinji.) the Katsuragi estate, Shinji's Lovely suite, the hot springs at Mt. Asama, or, more likely, the Cage.
"Oh, a bit of a voyeur, are we?" Asuka said out aloud, realizing that Kensuke Aida was still in the room. [That freckled freak's gonna pay!]
Kensuke shut the door, and turned off all the lights. Asuka was now left in the dark, Kensuke, being adjusted to it, could at least see. He walked forward, holding out the taser.
Asuka was dead silent. [Damn you, Kensuke!] she thought, [Just be quiet, Asuka, you'll hear him.]
Kensuke tested the taser, watching the electric pulse spark up between the arches. Unfortunately, the blue light bounced off the walls, as did the buzzing sound it generated. Asuka pounced, grabbing the Stooge's arm and chopping at the wrist. When the taser hit the ground, Asuka pulled Kensuke's arm over her shoulder, and dropped Kensuke to the ground with a textbook throw. Asuka ran for the light switch, confirming her assumption that Kensuke was the intruder.
"So, what's this little toy you've bought to play with, huh?" Asuka smirked. Kensuke groaned on the floor. Asuka picked up the taser.
"You know, this could've really hurt," she grinned devilishly, "Not to mention ruin my perfect complexion."
"Please don't." Kensuke remembered what happened last time they tried something like this: Normally the girls' changing rooms' windows were made of two layers of one-way glass, reflective on the outer layers only. Years before, the older classmen removed the outer layer of glass, leaving one layer of one-way glass, facing inwards. The girls didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but the guys sure did: an unrestricted view of many a high school chick getting changed. When the Stooges found this spot, they agreed that it was far better than the spot they used to use, and Asuka became a much greater target for some amateur photography. During the getaway from one such photo shoot, Kensuke knew that he couldn't run faster than Shinji or Toji, let alone Asuka, so he shocked Toji with the taser, left the camera with him and bolted. Toji didn't turn up at school for a fortnight afterwards.
Asuka inspected the taser. "Ha! This little baby brings back memories now, doesn't it?" Asuka feigned tripping over, and triggered the taser, sending fifty-odd thousand volts of power coursing into the Aida boy. His screams reverberated through the small room.
"AaAaAaAaAaAh! Shit! That hurts!" Kensuke screamed. [What kind of monster is she!?]
"Oh, I'm sorry, must've tripped." Asuka continued to use the taser at regular intervals.
"Do you get off by torturing people or something!?" Kensuke cried in between taser bursts, "God, I pity Shinji."
"No, I just get off by torturing Stooges!" Asuka laughed. Applying the taser again, she gave a rather good imitation of sexual cries. "Oh, Kensuke! Scream a little louder! Oh, Kensuke! Oh, oh, oooooh!"
Kensuke's back was hurting from all of the jolts, so he rolled over. Big mistake. Despite the torture, Asuka's erotic moans had an untold effect on him, especially in the groin area.
Asuka noticed it, and electrified his bits and pieces in disgust. "Perverse dumbkopf! Baka hentai!"
Kensuke suddenly didn't have the mind to cry for help. His attention was drawn to something a little more immediate.
The door creaked open. Shinji entered, and wasn't sure what to make of the scene in front of him. At this stage, Asuka was straddling the Stooge, repeatedly stunning Kensuke's chest with the taser, not that Shinji could see the taser from where he was.
Shinji could only find one appropriate expression. "What the FUCK is going on here!?"
"See for yourself." Asuka motioned toward the picture she had placed on the bench. Shinji picked it up, and immediately realized what was going on.
"Kensuke! What is this?" Shinji turned to his best friend, lying crippled underneath Asuka's 36-24-36 (Shinji's rough, biased estimate) frame. "You went behind our backs and took photos of us?"
"Shinji.help." Kensuke whimpered before becoming a human Christmas tree once more.
"Well that explains the position you're in," Shinji said, "but what about those cries you made, Asuka?"
The mistress laughed. "Well, apparently torturing people turns me on," she said, in a faux matter-of-fact voice. Embedding the dangerous end of the taser back into Kensuke's midsection, she mimicked her previous cries.
Shinji smiled. "Pretty convincing," he complimented, "You had me fooled. Outside, all I heard was you and a buzzing noise." Asuka thought this was hilarious, and continued her thunderous assault.
"I think he's had enough, Asuka," Shinji said, "He's learnt his lesson."
"What, are you siding with the Stooge now?" Asuka was shocked.
"No, I just think he wants to deal his way out of this predicament." Shinji said. After a short pause, "Who else is on that film?"
"If your girlfriend lets me get up, I can get the negatives for you."
Asuka stood up, letting Kensuke stand up. He hobbled toward a table, and picked up a handful of negatives. As he approached Shinji, he whispered something.
"You bastard.I thought you.were my friend."
Shinji's reply: "I am. I just saved your life."
He handed Shinji the negatives. Shinji held them to the light. "Okay, I see.Misato drunk off her head and clothed only from the waist down.confirmation of Dr. Akagi and Lt. Ibuki's sexuality.ooh, you and Rei.and this famous picture." Shinji lifted the copy of him and Asuka in the Cage. Shinji took the photo in both hands and ripped the photo down the center.
"Please don't take offence, darling," he said to Asuka, who smiled at Shinji's dry brand of humor.
"You can keep the negative, but that particular shot has to go," Asuka demanded. Kensuke nodded slowly.
Shinji had more demands. "You use these photos, you include us in your demands."
Asuka was confused. "Demands?"
"How.do you think.we were.gonna use.those shots.of you?" Kensuke panted.
"Just gimme one more shot at him."
"Wait, Asuka," Shinji stopped Asuka before she got homicidal. "He's right. They, WERE," shooting a look at Kensuke, "going to use them for that. I've got the pictures hidden inside my cello at home. You can rip them up yourself when you get home."
Asuka took all this in, and nodded. "Now, Asuka, put the taser down." Asuka shot Shinji a dirty look. "Please."
Asuka nodded, lowering the device to the floor. Shinji silently thanked Asuka with a nod. Shinji searched the table for some scissors. Picking up a handy pair, he snipped at the last frame of the negative in his hand, the one depicting him and Asuka. After he was satisfied that he had made a large enough mess of that frame, he put down the negative.
"C'mon, man," he said to Kensuke, "Let's get you to an Infirmary."
"Uh, yeah, sorry about all that, Kensuke," Shinji and Kensuke both turned around to see Asuka.
"What? Come on, it was funny!"
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What is the enigmatic Project Omega that Gendo was talking about? Would Misato last one morning without beer? Have I started to run out of cheesy questions to put at the end of a chapter!? (uh.yes.) Please, just read the FINAL CHAPTER of The Last Thing She Expected!
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My First Omake (pleeeease be the right word): It Wasn't Half Obvious.
At 7:30, on the dot, Rei opened her eyes. [Damn training,] she thought, [I really need a couple more hours of sleep.]
Rei closed her eyes and tried to sleep again, but to no avail. Having no life outside of Gendo's or Ritsuko's control resulted in her waking at 7:30 every morning. [Dammit!] She rolled over, or would have, if it wasn't for something preventing her. She tried to shrug off the blanket around her, only to find that she was in a sleeping bag.
[Oh yeah, I didn't bring bedding of my own.] Rei used this knowledge and changed her rolling-over technique in accordance. But still there was something stopping her. She looked across to her right. The freckled, spectacled face of Kensuke Aida faced her, still snoring away.
[Aida!? Why are we.did we.?] Rei's mind raced. [Why can't I remember anything? Did I get.drunk?]
Rei smiled. [Hah.I'm acting normally.well, for a teenager.] Kensuke stirred beside Rei. He opened his eyes slightly. At first, Kensuke could barely make out the shape of another person opposite him. Then his vision came into focus.
"Whoa! Good morning, Rei!" Fortunately, this wasn't nearly as loud as it seemed.
"Good morning, Ai - ah, god dammit! Uh.Kensuke!"
Kensuke face-faltered. "Well, it's nice to know you remember me," he said sarcastically.
"Sorry, Kensuke. It's.the whole.last-name thing."
"Huh? Oh, no, don't take me seriously, Rei. I was being sarcastic. You know, joking?"
"Oh. A joke." She looked into Kensuke's eyes. Two broad grins crossed their faces. They then lay back on the ground.
"Um, Kensuke."
"Yeah?"
"Did we.you know."
"Uh.I'm sorry, Rei." Kensuke looked down.
[We did.] Rei smiled. [Shame I can't remember it.] "Was I.um.any good?"
Kensuke sat up in shock. [Last thing I expected Rei to ask.] He lay back down, and faced Rei again. "Well, let's just say now I know why everyone calls you the blue-haired wonder."
Rei smiled. "I could say the same of you.but."
Kensuke's face flushed. "But what?"
"You don't have blue hair."
Kensuke found such a stupid joke hilarious in his current mindset, and tried his best to keep his laughter down.
"Hmm." Kensuke looked back up. "Looks like they finally won."
"Who won? What do you mean?"
"You mean you never picked up? God, it wasn't half obvious."
"I don't understand."
"Haven't you noticed everyone trying to set us up!? Jeez! Ever since Asuka turned up, every second thing anyone's said to me was 'when are you gonna ask out Rei?'"
"Come to think of it, it was Maya's idea to pash you last night."
"Toji, other guys at school, hell, even the author of this bloody fan-fic!"
"Yeah, I mean, why would we sing Crawling together? That'd be the last song I'd sing in a duet."
"Maybe Bring Me to Life, but Crawling."
Rei gasped. "You like Evanescence too!?"
"Yeah, I hate the new kind of music. It got too poppy after the Twenty- Tens."
"Ha.I thought I was the only one."
"Yeah.well I suppose Psyanchosis could've made get into a series of funny yet embarrassing situations."
Just then, a giant ghostly hand descended through the ceiling, and a booming voice rang out clear throughout the Bridge. "Yeah, damn straight I could've," I said, pointing at the couple.
Unfortunately, this woke up most of the room's other inhabitants. Misato turned to Rei and Kensuke.
"Unh, dammit, Kensuke, don't talk about the author while others are sleeping!" she half-yawned, half-yelled.
"Just leave 'em alone, Misato," I tried to calm her down.
"No, dammit! I wanted sleep! I was up till three last night, because these two fuckers", thumbing toward Rei and Kensuke, "were.ah, well.fucking!"
Rei thought a bible quote was appropriate. "Well, the Lord did say 'be fruitful and multiply'."
"Aw, fuckin' hell, Rei."
I added, "The Lord also said 'shut the hell up, Misato'! Go back to sleep!" The astral hand clicked its fingers, and all who were awake, apart from Rei and Kensuke, fell asleep again.
Kensuke looked to the roof. "Thanks," he said.
"Anytime," I said, as I withdrew my hand. The lovers looked at each other again.
"Dammit," Rei complained, "I can't get back to sleep." She looked at Kensuke saucily.
"Oh, bugger." Kensuke grinned. "Nor can I."
(still better be the right word.)
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Note: My real name is NOT Hideaki Anno. I do not own Gainax or any of its creations let alone Neon Genesis: Evangelion. Characters, locations, themes, and ideas used in this fic are used without permission from Gainax or Hideaki Anno.
Author's Note: That chapter was bloody big. At least by my standards. Apart from that, I'm sorry if the last scene in the photo lab seemed a little out of place. I was writing it while watching a certain piece of cinematic perfection called Die Hard. You guys are lucky that Asuka didn't kill Kensuke, all the while shouting "Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" Anyway, the whole thing will come to a head next chapter. Once again, thanks to all my readers and reviewers. You guys are the ones that have kept this going. By the way, I have to give credit to ChiRho and his highly recommended fan fic 'The Ikari Doctrine' for the idea about the school change rooms. Be sure to hang around for the last chapter of this fic, coming soon. Sayonara!
