Chapter 7: Hanging On By A Thread
"You may go in and see him now." The nurse addressed Dr. Brown when she stepped into the waiting room. "Come this way."
"Thanks." Andy he said to the nurse. He released Nina's hand and stood up. "Watch Delia for me?" He nodded to his sleeping daughter on the couch.
"Yea. Go." Nina told him. "I'll be here if you need me." Andy exited the room with the nurse.
Dawn was breaking and Andy had been waiting all night for word on his son. All he had known was that Ephram was brought directly to X-Ray, CT and MRI when they arrived. Emergency surgery was needed. Though, no one had answers for Andy. No, there weren't any updates on his son's current condition. No, it wasn't certain if the kid was going to make it. No, he was not conscious when they wheeled him in. Andy had nearly broken the hospital doors when he flew into the building in desperate search for his son. For the first time in his life, he was lost in a hospital. He looked in all directions and had no idea which way to go first. Being a doctor, the hospital was familiar territory - a place he'd been to millions of times. He knew the grounds as well as every crawl space. But that knowledge and memory completely vanished. All he cared about was Ephram.
As he followed the nurse to ICU, an eerie feeling crept up in him. Why did he feel so hesitant to see his son all of a sudden? For the passed five plus hours, all he wanted was to see his son. And now, they finally granted him that wish. Why was he so afraid? Was it because he was afraid to see his son all banged up? Or was it because he feared seeing him this way would make him break down?
"He's in this room." The nurse stopped at room 305. Andy took a deep breath before turning the doorknob.
It was hard but Andy refrained himself from sobbing when he saw his unconscious son. He was jittery and his hands couldn't stop shaking as he approached the bed. Ephram's entire head was wrapped in white gauze. There was a large bumpy pad on the side of his head beneath the gauze bandage. His left arm was bandaged tightly as was his chest. A clear plastic mouthpiece from the ventilator was taped securely to his mouth. Andy watched Ephram's chest inflate as the machine squeezed air into his frail body. Electrodes were fastened to his chest and temples to register vital activity on the machines by his bed. It was a mess of twisted multi colored wires. Ephram's body was hooked up what seems to be a hundred different machines. It was hard to believe that all these machines were the only things that kept him alive.
Andy burst into tears upon the heart-wrenching sight. He put his hand in his mouth to stifle the sobs. Ephram's waxy purplish eyelids contrasted with his chalky face. The cut on his pallid lips had clot into a blackish red color. Andy ventured closer to his son. Ephram looked so small and fragile that Andy was afraid to touch him fearing he might crumble to pieces.
Ephram survived the near fatal bus accident. Aside from a traumatic head injury, fractured ribs, punctured lung, he suffered a spinal contusion in his lower back. In a nutshell, the extent of his injuries was something awful. And just because there were no complications with the surgeries, doesn't automatically mean he was going to recover. His life can still be taken away at any given moment. Andy was thankful Ephram's spinal cord was only bruised and not severed. The paralysis in Ephram's legs would be temporary - if he wakes. He gently stroked his son's hand.
- Talk to him. Even though he's unconscious, he can really hear you - Andy remember saying that line to patient's families numerous times. The tables were now turned and he was the one telling himself that very line. He didn't know where or how to begin. He couldn't bring himself to talking to someone whose remaining life force was completely reliant on machinery. No matter what he said, Ephram wasn't going to respond back. He watched Ephram for a long time before uttering a word.
"Ephram." He began slowly. "Looks like you got yourself into a tight jam here, huh? But don't you worry. I'm right by your side. Hang in there, buddy. It's not time for you to go. We still have so much to learn from each other. Besides, you haven't even told me enough about Jewels yet." He tried to laugh but it only ended up in tears.
"Baby, please be ok. Please." Andy whimpered. "Fight it Ephram. Don't die. Can you even hear me?" Ephram didn't even budge. He lay there motionless with air sporadically pumping into his lungs.
A fit of unexplainable anger swept him. "Why are you doing this to me Ephram? How could you put me thru this again? Haven't I gone thru enough grief?? I'm in such pain - you can't do this to me. It's all your fault." He growled and let go of his son's hand. He turned his back on Ephram. Tears brimmed in his eyes and his broad shoulders shook with each sob.
"No. It's not your fault." He finally murmured as he faced his son again. "It's not your fault." His lips quivered. "It was never your fault." He took Ephram's hand again. "I just want you back. Please."
It was too agonizing to see his son this way. He needed air. He needed to get out of there. Andy leaned against the door outside of room 305 for a while to calm down and gather his thoughts. He eventually walked back to the waiting area with hands jammed into his jeans pockets.
"What's wrong?" Andy asked Nina upon seeing Delia awake and bawling hysterically. Nina had her arm over Delia trying to comfort her but it was not helping.
"I don't know. She won't tell me. I think she's worried about Ephram." Nina said. "She's been crying like this for a while now."
"Honey, tell daddy what's the matter." Andy said taking Delia into his arms. "Are you worried about Ephram? Is that why you're crying?" She shook her head. "No? Then tell me what. It helps to let me know your feelings.."
"You'll hate me." She blubbered as she gazed into her father's eyes.
"I can never hate you sweetheart!"
"Promise you won't?"
"Promise." Andy kissed her hair.
"I picked ice cream. I didn't pick Ephram. That means I didn't love him. If I went with you to pick him up instead of wanting to eat ice cream, he would've been ok. He wouldn't be hurt." She wailed.
"What?! I can't believe what I'm hearing!! Delia, you have nothing to do with this!" Andy was appalled. "Ephram would've been in that accident whether or not you came with me to pick him up. It was not something you could control."
"He must hate me." She said thru blinding tears.
"Honey, how could you say that?!" Andy exclaimed in shock. "He completely adores you. He loves you more than you know. In fact, I was on the phone when he was on the bus and he told me he loved you and didn't mind that you were at Nina's eating ice cream."
"Really?" She said after a brief pause.
"I wouldn't lie to you." Andy pulled Delia into a hug.
"I love him so much."
"I know. Me too."
"Is he going to be alright?" She sobbed.
"I don't know. I wish I had an answer. But Ephram is strong and the worse part is over."
"I want him to be ok." Delia hugged her father tighter.
"Yea. So do I." Andy said. "Don't cry, ok? Crying is contagious. You're going to make me start crying again if you don't stop." Delia heaved a sigh and quit crying.
"I want to see him now." She said.
"You sure? He looks bad right now. It might scare you." Andy questioned. He didn't want Delia to be exposed to the horror of seeing her brother in his current state.
"Yes. I'm sure. I won't be scared. I can't be scared of my own brother." She said seriously. She was the bravest little 8 year old girl Andy had ever known. And he was proud that she was stronger than him.
They walked hand in hand down the hall to room 305.
* end of chapter 7 *
"You may go in and see him now." The nurse addressed Dr. Brown when she stepped into the waiting room. "Come this way."
"Thanks." Andy he said to the nurse. He released Nina's hand and stood up. "Watch Delia for me?" He nodded to his sleeping daughter on the couch.
"Yea. Go." Nina told him. "I'll be here if you need me." Andy exited the room with the nurse.
Dawn was breaking and Andy had been waiting all night for word on his son. All he had known was that Ephram was brought directly to X-Ray, CT and MRI when they arrived. Emergency surgery was needed. Though, no one had answers for Andy. No, there weren't any updates on his son's current condition. No, it wasn't certain if the kid was going to make it. No, he was not conscious when they wheeled him in. Andy had nearly broken the hospital doors when he flew into the building in desperate search for his son. For the first time in his life, he was lost in a hospital. He looked in all directions and had no idea which way to go first. Being a doctor, the hospital was familiar territory - a place he'd been to millions of times. He knew the grounds as well as every crawl space. But that knowledge and memory completely vanished. All he cared about was Ephram.
As he followed the nurse to ICU, an eerie feeling crept up in him. Why did he feel so hesitant to see his son all of a sudden? For the passed five plus hours, all he wanted was to see his son. And now, they finally granted him that wish. Why was he so afraid? Was it because he was afraid to see his son all banged up? Or was it because he feared seeing him this way would make him break down?
"He's in this room." The nurse stopped at room 305. Andy took a deep breath before turning the doorknob.
It was hard but Andy refrained himself from sobbing when he saw his unconscious son. He was jittery and his hands couldn't stop shaking as he approached the bed. Ephram's entire head was wrapped in white gauze. There was a large bumpy pad on the side of his head beneath the gauze bandage. His left arm was bandaged tightly as was his chest. A clear plastic mouthpiece from the ventilator was taped securely to his mouth. Andy watched Ephram's chest inflate as the machine squeezed air into his frail body. Electrodes were fastened to his chest and temples to register vital activity on the machines by his bed. It was a mess of twisted multi colored wires. Ephram's body was hooked up what seems to be a hundred different machines. It was hard to believe that all these machines were the only things that kept him alive.
Andy burst into tears upon the heart-wrenching sight. He put his hand in his mouth to stifle the sobs. Ephram's waxy purplish eyelids contrasted with his chalky face. The cut on his pallid lips had clot into a blackish red color. Andy ventured closer to his son. Ephram looked so small and fragile that Andy was afraid to touch him fearing he might crumble to pieces.
Ephram survived the near fatal bus accident. Aside from a traumatic head injury, fractured ribs, punctured lung, he suffered a spinal contusion in his lower back. In a nutshell, the extent of his injuries was something awful. And just because there were no complications with the surgeries, doesn't automatically mean he was going to recover. His life can still be taken away at any given moment. Andy was thankful Ephram's spinal cord was only bruised and not severed. The paralysis in Ephram's legs would be temporary - if he wakes. He gently stroked his son's hand.
- Talk to him. Even though he's unconscious, he can really hear you - Andy remember saying that line to patient's families numerous times. The tables were now turned and he was the one telling himself that very line. He didn't know where or how to begin. He couldn't bring himself to talking to someone whose remaining life force was completely reliant on machinery. No matter what he said, Ephram wasn't going to respond back. He watched Ephram for a long time before uttering a word.
"Ephram." He began slowly. "Looks like you got yourself into a tight jam here, huh? But don't you worry. I'm right by your side. Hang in there, buddy. It's not time for you to go. We still have so much to learn from each other. Besides, you haven't even told me enough about Jewels yet." He tried to laugh but it only ended up in tears.
"Baby, please be ok. Please." Andy whimpered. "Fight it Ephram. Don't die. Can you even hear me?" Ephram didn't even budge. He lay there motionless with air sporadically pumping into his lungs.
A fit of unexplainable anger swept him. "Why are you doing this to me Ephram? How could you put me thru this again? Haven't I gone thru enough grief?? I'm in such pain - you can't do this to me. It's all your fault." He growled and let go of his son's hand. He turned his back on Ephram. Tears brimmed in his eyes and his broad shoulders shook with each sob.
"No. It's not your fault." He finally murmured as he faced his son again. "It's not your fault." His lips quivered. "It was never your fault." He took Ephram's hand again. "I just want you back. Please."
It was too agonizing to see his son this way. He needed air. He needed to get out of there. Andy leaned against the door outside of room 305 for a while to calm down and gather his thoughts. He eventually walked back to the waiting area with hands jammed into his jeans pockets.
"What's wrong?" Andy asked Nina upon seeing Delia awake and bawling hysterically. Nina had her arm over Delia trying to comfort her but it was not helping.
"I don't know. She won't tell me. I think she's worried about Ephram." Nina said. "She's been crying like this for a while now."
"Honey, tell daddy what's the matter." Andy said taking Delia into his arms. "Are you worried about Ephram? Is that why you're crying?" She shook her head. "No? Then tell me what. It helps to let me know your feelings.."
"You'll hate me." She blubbered as she gazed into her father's eyes.
"I can never hate you sweetheart!"
"Promise you won't?"
"Promise." Andy kissed her hair.
"I picked ice cream. I didn't pick Ephram. That means I didn't love him. If I went with you to pick him up instead of wanting to eat ice cream, he would've been ok. He wouldn't be hurt." She wailed.
"What?! I can't believe what I'm hearing!! Delia, you have nothing to do with this!" Andy was appalled. "Ephram would've been in that accident whether or not you came with me to pick him up. It was not something you could control."
"He must hate me." She said thru blinding tears.
"Honey, how could you say that?!" Andy exclaimed in shock. "He completely adores you. He loves you more than you know. In fact, I was on the phone when he was on the bus and he told me he loved you and didn't mind that you were at Nina's eating ice cream."
"Really?" She said after a brief pause.
"I wouldn't lie to you." Andy pulled Delia into a hug.
"I love him so much."
"I know. Me too."
"Is he going to be alright?" She sobbed.
"I don't know. I wish I had an answer. But Ephram is strong and the worse part is over."
"I want him to be ok." Delia hugged her father tighter.
"Yea. So do I." Andy said. "Don't cry, ok? Crying is contagious. You're going to make me start crying again if you don't stop." Delia heaved a sigh and quit crying.
"I want to see him now." She said.
"You sure? He looks bad right now. It might scare you." Andy questioned. He didn't want Delia to be exposed to the horror of seeing her brother in his current state.
"Yes. I'm sure. I won't be scared. I can't be scared of my own brother." She said seriously. She was the bravest little 8 year old girl Andy had ever known. And he was proud that she was stronger than him.
They walked hand in hand down the hall to room 305.
* end of chapter 7 *
