Chapter 16

"Where are we going?" Buffy asked. She and Angel sat in the front seat of the convertible with Fred and Gunn in the back. Angel had stopped in LA and picked Gunn and Fred up after asking Willow and Xander to watch Dawn and Conner for a few days.

"It's a surprise." Angel said with a smirk.

"You do realize that if this is completely pointless, Buffy's going to rip your head off, right?" Gunn asked.

"I know, but she'll love it. You all will love it."

"So far I'm not loving. You make me leave my cozy little home and my family and you take me on a road trip through the desert." Buffy said. Her eyes widened and she looked at Angel. "You're not Angelus, are you? Taking us out in the desert and killing the people that can get rid of you faster than the others?"

"Buffy, I'm not Angelus. Trust me, will you?"

"You're still earning." Buffy turned her head away and stared out over the darkened sand dunes. The wind whipped her pony-tailed hair back and forth and she blinked when it smacked her in the eye. Tears started to form in her eye as she struggled to scratch the pain away. Which is why she didn't notice the sign that said, "Welcome to Las Vegas." All she heard was Gunn say, "Now this is my kind of spiritual retreat."

"I just thought we could all use a little getaway to decompress. I know I haven't had a vacation in a while. Plus, Happy Anniversary Buffy." Angel said. "Ok, I know it's a little early, but I figured with your new job that you couldn't get away in early December. Also, it's fall break for you and the kids and you could get away now." Buffy didn't respond her eyes were tightly shut and tears fell down one of her cheeks. "Buffy? Sweetie? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Buffy squeaked. "My hair just shot my eye out. I'll be ok." She opened her blurry eyes and stared around at all the bright lights. "Where are we?"

"Welcome to Las Vegas!" Gunn said.

"What!?"

"Happy Anniversary." Angel said.

"Is this an attempt to make up for kissing that Gwen girl?"

"Maybe just a little one. Besides, I think we spent enough time talking and messing around. I thought I needed something bigger to win you back. Did it work?"

Buffy tried to look sternly at him, but the look on his face made her smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. "It worked."

"Yeah, but the other reason we're here is to see Lorne, right?" Fred asked.

"Absolutely. And maybe afterwards we can check out that Danny Gans guy I keep seeing billboards for." Angel said.

"You mean after Lorne reads you? To help you get back on your path?"

"Yeah, whatever. Wow. This place sure has changed!"

"Angel, you said that last time we were here." Buffy said, sliding under Angel's arm.

"But I didn't tell Gunn and Fred."

"Baton down the hatches, here comes hurricane memories."

"Get out. You never told me you've been to Vegas before you and Buffy got married." Gunn said.

"Yeah, a few times. Used to be dunes over there." Angel said, pointing.

"Oh, man, it has been a while. They tore down the Dunes ten years ago."

"Not the casino. He meant actual dunes." Buffy said.

"Bugsy used to call them dung piles."

"Bugsy? Bugsy Siegel?" Gunn asked.

"Yeah. Not one with words, I know, but the man, he had a mean backhand on the tennis court. So, what do you guys wanna do first?"

"Ah, well, the place Lorne is singing at is called the Tropicana." Fred said.

"The Tropicana? THE Tropicana? That can't be right." Gunn said.

"Why not?" Fred asked.

"Ah, the Tropicana is a pretty high profile casino, not some low-key, out- of-the-way dive. Looking the way Lorne does, you have to go some place a little more, you know, discreet." Angel said.

"Um, how discreet, exactly?" Buffy asked, staring at a huge lighted billboard of Lorne.

"Apparently not THAT discreet." Gunn said.

"Let's go to the hotel and freshen up before we go to the casino." Angel said.

"Good idea."

Angel drove them to an expensive looking hotel that he explained had been where Buffy and him had stayed in for a couple of days as their honeymoon getaway. They went up to their rooms and changed. Angel got into a casual suit while Buffy changed into a short brown suede skirt and a black peasant top with a black leather jacket that reached her knees and black leather knee high boots. She darkened her makeup a little and let her hair flow down her shoulders. They all met back at the car and drove to the Tropicana.

They were just in time for Lorne's first show of the night. The audience applauded as the show started. Buffy, Angel, Gunn, and Fred took a table in the middle of the whole place and watched the scantly clad girls dance and Lorne pop up out of nowhere between feathers some of the girls held. He walked to a stool and sat down and began to sing.

"It's not that easy being green. Having to spend each day the color of the leaves. When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or.." Lorne crooned.

"Kermit!" Buffy said. Angel looked at her strangely. She shrugged. "What? I used to watch the Muppets all the time when I was little."

"No one seems to be bothered by the fact that he's a demon." Gunn said.

"They must think it's all makeup like the blue man group." Fred said. She turned to Angel. "You don't think the blue man group.."

"Only two of them." Angel said.

"Oh, but green's the color of spring, and green can be cool and friendly like. Oh, and green can be big like an ocean, or important like a mountain, or tall like a tree. Oh, when green is all there is to green it could make you wonder why, but why wonder why wonder. I am green and it'll do fine. It's beautiful and I think it's what I want to be." Lorne finished his song and the audience, including the group, applauded. Lorne waited till it was quiet before he went on. "Thank you! Thank you so much! You know, I got to tell you folks, I got to tell you, you are by far the kickingest crowd that I had the privilege of performing to here at the Tropicana." More applause. "Yes! Yes, that's right. Give it up for your sweet selves. Alright!" He loosened his tie. "Now, you know what? Just for you guys, I think it's time we cranked things up a notch. What do you say?" There was some cheering. "Here, you go, honey." Lorne dropped his tie down into the crowd. "Yeah. Maestro, give me some drums, si'l vous plait." The drums played. "Ah, that's it! That's it! Paco, give me a little bass! Ah, merci, merci! Now all I need is a little help from my Lornettes!" The stage curtain opened to reveal the dancing girls from earlier, and the crowd cheered. "Yeah! Strut it, girls! Yeah. Come on girls!" He jumped off stage and into the crowd singing "Lady Marmalade."

Fred jumped in her seat and screamed loudly. Buffy, Angel, and Gunn turned to stare at her. She pushed her hair behind her ear and said, "He's very good."

They all turned back to watch Lorne perform. At one point he held the mike in front of a guy wearing a suit, who complied by singing the next line. The crowd cheered. A little while later he offered the mike to a middle- aged lady to sing another line as he worked his way through the crowd.

"Oh, here he comes! He's gonna plotz when he sees us." Fred said.

"Huh-uh. He better not stick that damn mike in my face." Gunn said.

"Oh, come on, Charles. It's all in fun. Besides, you have a nice voice."

"Yeah, you do it if you want, but I'm not in the mood to.."

"He's gone!" Buffy said.

"He just went right by." Fred said.

"Oh. Well.. Good." Gunn said.

"He didn't even wish you guys a happy anniversary!"

"I'm sure he didn't even see us." Buffy said.

Lorne walked up to a girl and said, "All right! Well, you're just a tickle- me cutie! What's your name, peach pie?"

"Vivian." She said.

"Oh, Viv, looks like you got a little celebration going on here."

"Ah, well, a going away party actually."

"Going away? Honey, we just met! Where are you going?"

"Paris. I was just accepted to a culinary school there."

"Oh, well, isn't that great? How about sending a little goodwill to our chef of the future?" the crowd cheered. "Ah, yes, marvelous. Thank you honey. And Vivian, I only have one thing to say to you.." Lorne burst back into song.

After a while the show ended and the audience left. The group slipped out a back door and went with some fans to watch for Lorne. They stood amongst the talkative crowd and waited.

"This was just wow! Wasn't it? I-I mean the laser lights, the Lornette girls, and hello! Thirty piece orchestra?" Fred said.

"Yeah, but I still don't know why he dissed us during the sing-a-long. It's just nice to be asked, is all." Gunn said.

"Ah, I don't know. I thought it was a little over produced for my tastes. It's like I told Sammy Davis at the Sands: 'when you, Frank, and Dean are the meal, you don't need the trimmings.'" Angel said.

"Awe, not the Rat Pack story again sweetie." Buffy said

"Hold on. You knew the Rat-Pack?" Gunn asked.

"Know them?" Angel asked excitedly, but Buffy pinched his arm and he toned it down. "No. I met them once. Twice. For drinks. Maybe it was three times. I did have a life before you guys came along." Angel said.

"So, do you know what you're gonna sing?" Fred asked.

"Sing?"

"For Lorne so he can read you."

"Hey, you know, we-we don't have to do that right away. We just got here. Hey, who's up for some blackjack?"

Buffy was about to say something, but Lorne and his posse stepped out through a door and the crowd around them went nuts.

"Hi! How are you?" Lorne said.

"Lorne! Lorne, it's us!" Fred yelled.

Lorne signed some autographs for people in the font, but never really looked at any of the group. "Hey! Love ya."

"We love you t.. Wait. That was him being superficial, wasn't it?"

Lorne turned away towards his dressing room, flanked by two security guards. Angel tried to follow. "Hey! Lorne, wait!" Two more security guards stopped Angel. "Whoa. Easy, okay? I know him. I just wanna say hello."

"You and everybody else, pal." One of the guards said.

Angel and the rest of the group watched as Lorne walked off without so much as a glance back. Buffy grabbed Angel's arm and pulled him back. She led them all out into the casino area. After a few minutes, Gunn found a table to sit at and he and Fred sat down. Buffy stood directly behind them and leaned on Gunn's shoulder. Angel stood a little ways behind her.

"Angel, come on. Sit down. Relax. Play a few hands." Gunn said.

"I don't get it. Lorne knows we're here. Why hasn't he contacted us by now?" Angel said.

"Honey, don't worry. He will." Buffy said.

"Maybe he was just tired after his performance." Fred added.

"Yeah. Or maybe it's hard to see us common folks from way up on high." Gunn said.

"Huh?"

"Success. Makes you forget the little people."

'I don't believe that. Not Lorne."

"What? You saw the way my man dissed us. It happens." Gunn looked at the dealer. "Hit me."

Gunn ordered a drink and it came a few minutes later. Eventually, Buffy sat down and looked at Gunn's hand after she turned around and saw Angel handing a note over to one of the Lornettes. The dealer offered her some cards, but Buffy declined. She leaned her head against Gunn's shoulder and sighed.

"You ok Buff?" Gunn asked.

"No. I thought this was going to fun. You know, anniversary: yay! But so far, boring. Well, minus Lorne's show." Buffy said. "I was expecting to miss the shows all together and have some fun at the hotel, like we did before."

"We will eventually. Trust me, I was looking forward to that too."

"Maybe."

"You don't wanna play some cards?"

"Nah. This whole gambling thing is stupid to me. Besides, I don't have that much money to blow."

"Your hubby's rich. You have plenty of ching, ching." Buffy giggled and watched as Fred won again and again.

"I'm feeling really bad about this." Fred said.

"Oh, don't feel bad, babe. If I had your head for numbers, I'd be counting cards, too."

"No! I mean about Lorne acting weird with us."

"The guy's on some old 'star trek.' Man. Who needs him?"

"Angel does. I'm really worried about him, Charles. He was acting strange the whole time we were in the show."

"The man has had to bear a whole lot more over the years. Plus, he's being playing Mr. Mom at home. Buff's a working gal now and Angel's job doesn't start till the sun goes down. So, Lorne or no Lorne, I think this trip idea is going to do Angel a world of good."

"I hope so." Buffy said.

"It's gonna be fine."

"Maybe you're right. I just wish we knew what was going on with Lorne." Fred said.

"Well, let's find out."

"What now?"

"Hey, if it'll make my honey and my best friend feel better, put their minds at ease, my fun can wait."

"It's because you're out of chips isn't it?" Buffy asked with a grin.

Gunn stood. "Yeah."

Buffy turned around and didn't see Angel anywhere. "Where did Angel go? He was standing right there a second ago."

"Well, wherever he is, I'm betting he's having a whole lot better luck than me."

"Yeah, right."

Buffy led them through the hallways and back to where they had stood waiting for Lorne before. The velvet rope was gone and they walked up to the corner where Lorne had disappeared behind. They each peered around the corner and saw French doors with a star that said Lorne on each one. Accompanying each door was a bodyguard. Both were over built and stereotypical.

"Man. Heads of state don't get this much security. Something's starting to feel a lot 'not right' about this." Gunn said.

"That's what I've been saying only with better grammar. Should we find Angel?" Fred asked.

"Well, we're never gonna get past the bruiser twins over there without a fight. I'd kind of like to avoid that." Buffy said.

One of the Lornettes came out of a door in the adjacent hallway and walked past, not seeing them. Gunn smiled and looked down a Buffy and Fred. At first, neither of the girls got what he was trying to say, but then Buffy's eyes widened and her mouth formed a perfect "O."

"No!" Buffy said.

"Yes." Gunn said.

"I am not going to dress like a floozy just to get in there to see Lorne!"

"It's the only way to avoid a fight."

"He's right Buffy." Fred said.

"But.." Buffy said.

"Come on." Fred tugged Buffy's arm and led her over to the dressing room when the guards weren't looking.

40 minutes later, Buffy and Fred emerged all dolled up in green makeup, slutty corsets, and red horns. Fred carried a tray with a martini on it. They marched right up to the guards and were about to walk right on in, but one of the guards stopped them.

"What's this? He already got his drink." He said.

"Ah. Yeah. He-he did." Fred said.

"Right. I know. They-they told us.. I mean, they sent us to.." Buffy said hinting.

"Oh, I get it. It's a little pre-show diddle for the green guy, huh?" the other guard asked.

"Yeah, two for one. If you get what I'm saying."

"What? Diddle? I'm what?" Fred asked.

"Oh, don't be nervous. The demon, he doesn't bite not with his mouth anyway."

They started through the doors, but the bigger of the guards stopped Fred. "Wait a minute." Fred glanced back at where Gunn was peering around a corner. "You missed a couple of spots on your neck and behind your ear. You might want to fix that before you go out on stage."

"Oh, right. 'cause that would have been really embarrassing." Fred said.

Buffy and Fred strutted through the door into Lorne's dressing room. Fred dropped the tray as Lorne barely stopped the swing with the whiskey bottle towards her head as soon as the door closed.

"Oh! I'm sorry peach pie. I thought that you just might have been.." Lorne said.

"Your little diddle buddies?" Buffy asked.

"My whatle what?" Lorne looked closer at the two of them and realized who they were. "Oh, F-Fred? Blondie?" He let out a laugh and hugged them both. "Oh, hey, hallelujah! Oh, my little sweet cheeks! You don't know the hell I've been through!"

"Uh-huh. It looks like real torture." Buffy said.

"Yeah, well, it took you heroes long enough to rescue me!"

"Frankly, Lorne, we weren't aware you needed rescuing."

"Weren't aware? I told Fred!"

"When?" Fred asked.

"Why, every time you called, I kept asking about Fluffy!"

"Oh. I just thought you were using some show business catch phrase I wasn't hip enough to get. Who's Fluffy?"

"Fluffy! Fluffy, the dog? The dog you don't have? The universally recognized code for 'I'm being held prisoner. Send help.'"

"Oh. Okay. I'm hip now."

"Who's holding you prisoner?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, the creep who owns this place, Lee DeMarco. He used to be some second rate lounge magician until he got his hands on something legitimately mystical. Now he's a first rate psychopath and he's using me to destroy people's lives."

"Using you how?"

"Well, there's this game."