Chapter 19

"How could you let her wander off alone?" Angel asked. He, Buffy, Fred, and Gunn all stood around the corpse of the dead demon lying in the middle of the lobby.

"The words 'grown woman' come to mind." Fred said.

"And the gal does have a history of whooping ass. I mean, you saw the hurting she put on those Wolfram and Hart dudes. And could she really turn me into a rat?" Gunn asked.

"What if Wolfram and Hart came back?" Buffy asked. "What if there were hundreds of those things? What if this is the way it starts? I mean, the slouching and the Bethlehem. And they've taken her because of what she knows.. even if she can't remember she knows it."

"Have you been drinking bad beer again, or is there something you're not telling us?" Fred asked.

"Oh, there's a something, but this isn't it. That was just a client of mine who had a fatal habit of snacking on humans." Lorne said, walking into the room.

"And you let it in here with Cordy?" Angel asked.

"Hello, back to the something. Is that why you ran out while Cordelia was singing?" Fred asked.

"Well, A: I wasn't running, I was fleeing, and B: Yes." Lorne said.

"Well, how horrible is this thing?" Gunn asked.

"Well, I haven't read the Book of Revelations lately, but if I was searching for adjectives, I'd probably start there."

"Was that all you saw?" Fred asked.

"That was the tip of the 'berg, pumpkin nut. What I got from Cordy was dense. A big, fat, tummy-clinching onion from hell. The more layers you peel, the more you cry. Or vomit, in this case. But I tell ya, this is one itch daddy's done a-scratching."

"Look, we got to get Cordelia before.. We have to find her. She's out there, alone. No memory. Probably terrified." Angel said.

"Maybe." Buffy said as they all headed out.



"I gotta ask, why were you at the hotel? You live there?" Cordy asked from the passenger seat. She and Xander were parked on a bluff overlooking the ocean.

Xander shook his head. "No. I live in Sunnydale. You know that."

"Actually, I don't. I don't know much of anything, or anyone for that matter."

"Huh?"

"Well, apparently I've been gone for three months. In some dimension is what they said. I've been going through some of my stuff, but I don't remember anything."

"Wow."

"I think I remember seeing your picture. Did you go to Sunnydale High School with me?"

"Yeah."

"So, we know each other? We're friends?"

"We, uh, we were involved for a while."

"We were?"

"Yeah."

"Are we still together?"

"No. I was with this girl named Anya. I met her because of you."

"Was?"

"We were engaged to get married, but I left her.. At the alter."

"Why would you do that? Didn't you love her?"

"I did.. do. But I didn't think she deserved me and I blew my chance with the woman I love. Well, one of them."

"Who's the other?"

"You were. Even though you can't remember how much fun we had together, I wanted to tell you that I did love you. When I found out you were gone, all I could think was how I never told you that I had loved you. Maybe even still do."

"That's sweet. Did I love you?"

"I think you did."

"Why did we break up?"

"Willow."

"Who's that?"

"My best friend since forever. I had never noticed her before and then one day I looked at her and I was attracted completely. Well, Spike, he's a vampire that has a whole longer story to tell, captured Willow and I and made Willow, who is a witch, do a love spell. Well, our emotions got the best of us, what with the thinking we were going to die and all, and we started to kiss. That was when you and Oz, Willow's then boyfriend, walked in. You got angry and ran out, but the stairs weren't stable and you fell through.. Right onto a support bar. It stabbed right through you."

Cordy lifted her shirt to reveal her stomach. "Is that what this scar is?"

Xander looked over and placed a hand on the scar. "Yeah. Yeah, that's why."

"You seem like a sweet guy."

"Thank you. If it's any consolation, I'm still really sorry."

"Thanks. I forgive you."

"Cool."

"What about the others? You friends with them?"

"Who?"

"Buffy, Angel, Fred, and Gunn."

"They're back?"

"Yeah. I mean, I guess. I just got here and there they came through the door."

"Huh. I figured they would have called and told us you were back." Xander sighed. "So like Buffy. Just deject herself from everyone but Angel."

"She loves him. I can tell by the way they're always together and the way they look at each other."

"Yeah. They've been that way for almost seven years now."

"Wow."

"Pretty much."

"Where's their baby?"

"Baby!? He's not a baby anymore!"

"Those pictures didn't look that old. And Buffy doesn't look older than me. She graduated with us."

"Yeah. Conner got taken when he was about eight months by this ass named Holtz. The boy came back less than a week later and he was 16."

"How?"

"Hell dimensions. Gotta love the time there. Go for a week, come back and your 16 years older. Well, depending on the hell dimension. Angel was in one for four months and that was the equivalent to a few hundred years of torment and torture."

"You're the first person who's been straight with me. You told me the truth." Cordy touched Xander's hand. "Means a lot."

"I'm glad. Cause four years ago, you'd've smacked me."

"You want me to?"

"Nah."

"I'm so scared."

"You're safe. Trust me."

"Then why am I so scared? I'm trying to remember little things. Do I have brothers and sisters? What's my favorite food? Who was my first kiss? There's nothing there. Just an empty.. Do you know how lonely that makes me feel?"

"You love shoes. And donuts. You hate to research. No, you don't have any brothers or sisters. Your first kiss: I have no clue. You were sort of a player back in the day. And you're very brave."

"Really? Donuts?"

"And, you're brave."

"When was I brave?"

"Now. Tonight. You lost everything and you're still strong."

"I have this horrible feeling that something bad is going to happen. Or maybe has happened. And I can't remember it. And I don't know what to do, or who to trust, except you. I don't know why, but I trust you." Xander looked down. "What?"

"Well, that bad feeling you have: could be something happening in Sunnydale."

"What?"

"'From beneath you it devours.'"



"She's gotta be somewhere close." Fred said, looking over the map of LA.

"Then Buffy and Angel will find her." Gunn said.

"What if she's not on her own? What if she's been taken, or.."

"She's out there somewhere."

Angel walked in, Buffy behind him. "Nothing." Angel said. "We're gonna have to widen the search. All hospitals, police stations. She couldn't have just disappeared. Ok, once. But not again. Somebody has to know where Cordelia is."

"I do." Wesley said behind them. Everyone turned to look at him. "A bit careless, misplacing her after all the effort to find her."

"We didn't find her, she just sort of.. showed up. With no memory, no idea who she is or where she's been." Buffy said.

"Fresh start. Doesn't sound so bad."

"What do you know?"

"Wolfram and Hart are planning to extract her."

"Already tried."

"They'll try again. She might have spent time with the Powers That Be. Wolfram and Hart will consider her valuable. And I doubt Xander will be able to stop them."

"She's with Xander? You have that on good authority?" Angel asked.

"You don't seem too concerned."

"Xander's our friend. He's Cordy's friend. I'm sure he's taking excellent care of her." Buffy said. Wesley nodded. "Ok guys, we're going to Sunnydale."

"They're not in Sunnydale."

"What?"

"He's here. Along with your son, Willow, and Dawn."

"What? Why are they here?"

"Lilah's sources say that they're staying at your father's house. Vacation time."

"My dad?"

"They've had him under surveillance for quite some time now. He's there watching a movie with Conner and the others."

"Where's Xander?"

"He's on a bluff. The very same one that you and Angel were supposed to meet on."

Buffy ran out, Angel, Gunn, and Fred following fast. She jumped in the driver's seat and barely waited for the rest of them to get in before she peeled out. By the time they made it to the bluff, Xander and Cordy were fighting hard. Buffy, Angel, Gunn, and Fred jumped out and joined in. One of the ops had grabbed a woozy Cordelia and was trying to cart her off. Angel kicked down the man and took Cordelia in his arms.

"Hey." Angel laid Cordy down near Fred and went to help Buffy and Gunn out.

Xander was leaning against his car and breathing heavy. Buffy had two of the ops by the arms and she slammed them together like cymbals. They went down hard, Buffy smiling at herself. Gunn kicked one of the ops towards Buffy and she flipped the guy over her head. Then, all the ops stopped and started to run off.

"That's right, monkey boys. Don't mess with the big dog! It's better than sidekick." Gunn said.

"Did they hurt you? Are you ok?" Angel asked Cordy.

"Yeah, I'm ok." Cordy said.

"I didn't expect so many." Xander said. "I didn't expect any at all."

"You tried. I appreciate it." Buffy said.

"We should probably get you back home." Angel said to Cordy.

"Actually, I'd like to stay with Xander." Cordy said, moving to Xander's side.

"I don't think that's the best idea. Xander's a great fighter. But you need more than just muscle right now."

"You're right. I need someone who won't lie to me.. like you did. All of you, I know you were trying to help, but the truth is the only way to do that, and that's what Xander's given to me."

"Keep her safe." Angel said, walking towards the car.

Buffy walked up to Xander and handed him a key. "I figured this would happen. You're the one who could bring out the cool Cordy we all knew and love."

"What's this?" Xander asked.

"It's the key to my dad's condo in Santa Monica. Take Cordy there. I don't think that Wolfram and Hart know about it. I'm probably wrong though."

"Thank you."

"Anytime." Buffy walked away and got in the passenger's seat of the convertible.