Well, the story's gonna be over soon I think. *sob sob* My first ficcy's almost over! Anyway, I'm really sorry about how long it took for me to update last time. heh, it's school's fault! Blame my ugly French teacher, O'Flamer! (No, that's not his real name, but it sure describes him well.) And oh yeah! There's gonna be some swearing in this chappie. Duh duh duh!

Chapter 10

"Good job, boy."

"Huh?"

I was thinking very little. I was in the same old dark chamber as in the past. I heard the same clinking of footsteps come nearer to me. I knew that ugly, horrible man was there, though I could see nothing. I didn't want to have to deal with his cruel words and discouraging comments. I didn't want to know what he had to say.

"For helping me, I'll let you see your friend soon. She'll be visiting, so stay around and wait for her."

"I don't care." And I didn't.

"Ha, ha, ha! You're too weak for the Cetra though, you know! She really deserves a real man to take care of her."

"Shut up and go away."

My voice was calm and stern.

"I'm glad that your atrocious SPAWN will not be surviving as well."

"Shut up, ugly bastard."

"You didn't really think that that child, if you will, would be suitable to the world, did you? Your seed is nothing that should be seen or reproduced. That would result in world failure, for goodness sake! A weak man like you shouldn't even be allowed to make love to a beautiful woman like that Ancient. Ha, ha, ha!"

"Fuck off."

"Oh, my! Getting a little hostile now, aren't we? But just remember, even if your child had been born, I would never have let it survive. I would've killed it the moment it had parted from its mother's womb!"

"SHUT UP!" I stood up quickly and completely angrily, ready to kill that mother *#$%^#! bastard. I hated him so much; so, so much. But just as I stood, ready to pummel him to death, my dark, dreary and musty surroundings suddenly disappeared.

I woke up from horribly dreamful slumber, in an uncomfortable chair with woven cushions. I've always hated that kind of chairs. Upholstered, made of some cheap, hard wood, you could never sit or rest comfortably in them. They were typical waiting room chairs, the kind NO ONE likes. I awoke with twisted muscles and a twisted heart, remembering the even worse suffering my darling was going through. I wanted to kill Sephiroth so bad.

"Hey!" I called to one of the nurses who was passing by, "When the hell will I be able to go in and visit my girlfriend?" I'd been waiting around for hours and still they wouldn't let me in to see Aeris. I had even fallen asleep, since night had started to fall. I needed to know what was happening to Aeris so badly though.

"Please, sir," she whispered, as not to draw attention to the scene I was creating, "Don't cause a disturbance for the other people in here. You'll be able to see the lady in a little while."

"Quit telling me that!" I shot back fiercely, "I've been waiting here for five friggin' hours! WHEN CAN I GO IN?!"

"PLEASE, sir!" she said louder, a little fearful of my anger, "You're disturbing the other people. Your girlfriend is not well, so it will be a little while until you can go in and see her."

I'd had it with the ignorant nurses in that hospital, making me wait around forever, though I needed to see Aeris so badly and find out how she was.

"That's it!" I yelled as I pushed my way past the nurse and I went over to the room where I had seen them take Aeris. It was a small hospital with only a few corridors, so I could easily find my way around.

I kept on running, even as I heard the nurses and secretaries behind me yelling to stop. But they didn't understand. It was just their "job" to tell everyone to do what they said and keep them away from their loved ones. But that nurse probably just didn't understand that my beautiful darling was in there, perhaps dying. And perhaps our baby wasn't making it. Perhaps the baby already died. Perhaps it was all over.

No nurses, doctors, or guys from security followed though. They all just shouted after me, telling me to stay out, and that was fine. They weren't bothering me too much. Just ran and ran until I came to when Aeris was. I made the door fly open as I burst into her small, sterile room.

"Aeris!" I called quietly to her, rather exasperatedly. I walked over to where she lay in the hospital bed, helpless and almost hopeless. Her eyes were closed. I sat down on the bed right next to her and took her limp hand in my fierce, angry one that was now gentle for her sake.

"C-Cloud?" she asked with all her power as she opened her eyes slightly.

"Hey, baby," I said, I looking down onto her sad expression, "How you feeling?"

"I guess I'm okay," she responded, trying to reassure me, though I knew she wasn't fine.

I felt so terrible at that point in time. Here, my poor Aeris was lying on a hospital bed, her eyes wet with tears of emotional and physical pain, her face now bruised and cut, while I just sat there, feeling sorry for myself, for the world. And what had become of our baby I could only guess."Sweetie," I started slowly, "What happened to the baby?"

Aeris grew very quiet for a moment, before speaking slowly, "I-I don't know. They wouldn't tell me."

"Oh, SHIT!" I yelled, forgetting that Aeris needed her rest.

"Please, Cloud," she cooed softly with distress, "Don't yell."

"Fuck, Aeris!" I said angrily with scorn for both myself and for Sephiroth, remembering the horror of what I knew I had lost, "I've had enough of all this bull shit! I want those stupid nurses to just tell me what's going on!"

Aeris looked at me with fear and sadness. "Cloud, you're frightening me. Please!"

"What's going on in here?!" It was one of those damn nurses, coming in to bother us. She looked like a strict, cold woman, with an uncompromisingly tight jaw. Her hair was pinned back severely into a grey bun and she narrowed her eyes when she looked at me. "Young man, the lady needs her rest! And she certainly doesn't need all that yelling and ruckus. Now, please, get out!!"

"I'm not leaving until you tell us both what's going on!" I yelled straight back at her, not caring one bit if my behavior was "upsetting."

"Please leave!" she ordered, though I did not do as told.

"Not until you tell me everything!"

"Leave!"

"NO!"

"Leave!"

"NO!

"Leave!"

"STOP IT, please!" screamed Aeris, once again with warm tears running the same, well-known course of her cheeks. She had been hurt so much by me and by this awful world and I suppose she could take no more. So she spoke to us with what little strength she had left, "Please, don't fight! Pleas nurse, just tell me what's happening to me. Am I.am I going to make it?"

"Yes, yes, of course, girl! You'll be out of here in a few days at the most, though you'll have to take it easy for a while at home."

Thank you, God! I thought to myself so gratefully, almost forgetting what else I could have lost.

"And?" asked Aeris nervously, as I saw tears starting to brim in her eyes. She was scared.

"And what?" asked the nurse sharply, feeling as though she had finished her job and that there was nothing more to be said.

"And what about my baby?" Aeris was now doing her best to sit up in bed, as I helped her as well. She always managed to become as weak and ill; it broke my heart. She was looking so intently at that awful nurse, her next few emotions dependant on the old bat's jaded words.

"The baby?" the nurse said slowly, deciding to keep our tension at its peak. We all sat there, waiting for her reply, though she took her time in answering. I could hear Aeris' breathing become unusually heavy and fast. I crept my hand through the covers on the bed so that it was again holding my angel's. My grip on her was tight, and though I soon realized that I was hurting her. She was so fragile, after all! We were both so afraid of what was to come next, but we knew the information was vital.

The nurse just kept on doddling though, as she would look back and forth from Aeris sympathetically, then to me with a discriminating, smug grimace. She'd open her lips to get the adrenaline in our veins pumping yet faster, but would then quickly close them when she couldn't find the right words.

"Just say it, won't you!" I spat out quickly.

She gave me a sharp, disrespectful look before sticking her nose up arrogantly. "Very well," she sighed hopelessly, "I don't know how to tell you this but."

I felt Aeris squeeze my hand tighter, as tight as her now weak arms could go, her palms wet with nervous perspiration. I had been so happy before. There was something new to look forward to! I could turn that whole negative situation into something beautiful, something fresh and pure. I had a reason to live again and things seemed bright

But now I had crushed that dream, that dream that might not even be fulfilled later on if things went on like this. How would Aeris ever be able to forgive me after all this? First, I had cast away her virgin purity, the beautiful untouched way she had been before, by raping her carelessly and so, so harmfully. I had planted my seed in her womb and although it was something miraculous, it was to give us yet more grief if matters were as we expected.

"Your baby is dead."

Aeris screamed.

She fell against me and cried.

I gathered my darling up into my arms. She sobbed quietly against my side as I stroked her hair lovingly. I kissed her head and I felt tears welling up in the corners of my eyes too. Everything was shattered. Shattered to pieces. All hope was gone. All we had left now was each other, and I was even weary of myself nowadays.

Our bond was slipping far, far away too. It reminded me of when I was a young boy, sitting in elementary school in one of my classes. The teacher was explaining to us how to thread the eye of the needle. It looked so simple and for a moment, just a fleeting moment, I imagined doing something right and the other students looking at me with more respect. I had a short high on that excitement, thinking that I, Cloud Strife, would be worthwhile, just for a moment.

But after the teacher had finished explaining, after we had been given our needle and thread, I learned that I was wrong, so very wrong. The other students, mostly the girls, slid that thread so simply and leisurely through the needle. And I had tried, oh I had! But that needle just kept slipping from my fingers, over and over again. But long after everyone else had started sewing messy stitches onto their scrap pieces of material, I was still working hard at threading my damn needle. Eventually, everyone just did as they always had and just stared at me and laughed. I was the loner, always somehow different. The others mocked me even for something so small as this, something I had wished to excel in, since it should have been so simple.

Now, I felt the same way. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't even take care of my sweet, sweet angel, or better yet, even keep myself from destroying her.

I held Aeris tighter and she cried, now and the saying some sad, sad words.

"I'm sorry for your loss," were the words I heard from the stern old nurse, "Good day." And with that, I heard her footsteps trail away as I was left with a fallen princess.

~~~~~**********~~~~~

Three days passed by even slower than they had before and I was still living far from hope. Aeris was out of the hospital and staying in the hotel where the others from AVALANCHE were also staying to help out. I was glad that they were so considerate for her, though I had a feeling that they held something against me. I'd talk to them and they'd merely look at me suspiciously and answer my questions to the bare minimal. They'd try to avoid any sort of conversation and would act distant and give me dirty looks. They all took their time with Aeris, however.

I'd spend my days sitting next to my love, in the company of suspicious others of course though, as she'd sit and stare blankly out of the window. Other times we'd go for walks, though she'd never say a word. Or sometimes she'd just get out without saying a word and leave and come back hours later. She'd been hurt so badly by me, that I wasn't surprised when she'd never answer me when I'd speak to her. I'd hold her or gently touch her cheek, but she made no sign that she noticed, or even cared. Life seemed so empty and meaningless, so full of despair. I felt that I didn't deserve to be alive, and I really didn't much want to be either.

My nights would be equally as depressing, as I'd go home and soak up my troubles in booze. I'd lie around on the couch and let my much needed tears spill from my eyes. I was all alone in a world that hated me.

On the fifth day however, things got mixed up a little bit. Actually, things got changed a lot. As I was walking home from the hotel late into the evening, the sun had already gone set and the shadows were all about the small town, lurking and quivering in the dim moonlight that was cast upon me as so to expose my criminal figure to the world. I quickly raced back to my villa, perhaps afraid of the unknown that watched me silently from afar. But just as I reached my door, I heard a familiar voice.

"Did you miss me?"

I snapped my head back to see who it was, though my ears already knew.

"Tifa!" I gasped with great surprise.

She was wearing the same skanky outfit as usual and had her hair pinned up messily. She looked tired and weary from travel, but still managed to look sharply into my cold blue eyes with her big brown ones, which were now narrowed evilly.

"Where have you been?" I asked her in an icy tone.

She kept on eyeing me with such hatred apparent in her fixed gaze.

"My life doesn't revolve around seeing YOU, boy!" she shot back at me.

She was acting so odd..she definitely wasn't the same girl as before. I looked at her with concern and softened my stare. "What's really going on, Tifa?" I asked worriedly, "Why have you taken Sephiroth's side? Don't you remember what he did to us all? To your FATHER?!"

She turned around a little, so I couldn't see her face. "You wouldn't understand, Cloud," came her suddenly tearful response, "You never did.."

I walked closer to her and went to put my hand on her shoulder, but she moved away at the least bit of my touch.

"Don't touch me!" she exclaimed as she turned to look at me, the tears now filling her eyes, "You were always the problem, you know that?"

"Tifa..Just say what's on your mind, please! Are you jealous of Aeris? Do you really just want the spotlight on you? Is that it?" I was getting frustrated with her. I just wanted her to be the same, nice girl as she had been once long ago...

"Just leave me alone," she cried out at me as she turned away, so that her face was out of sight once more, "I cannot see you now. But believe me, I WILL be back. And revenge WILL be mine!" With that, she quickly dropped something in small package that exploded abruptly, leaving a thick cloud of smoke, so that I couldn't see where she left. Once the smoke had faded, Tifa was nowhere to be found..

~~~~~**********~~~~~

I awoke the next day, not caring if I was breathing, or if blood was draining from my body, or if I was even alive..but unfortunately, all these things were not problems, and I was indeed surviving.

As I had every morning for the past year or so of my life, I awoke and thought of my precious Aeris. But unlike in the past days, I woke up thinking such sad thoughts about her, knowing how awful of a state she was in. But today, I didn't want to see her. Today, I didn't want to see myself. Today, I didn't want to see the world. And this was enough to make me do something.

As life consciousness came thrusting itself towards me, shredding my slumber into reality, I closed my eyes and tried to wish it away. But it wouldn't leave me. And I knew that there was only one way out. Aeris didn't need me anymore. It was all just a waste now.

I got up out of bed and walked over to a blank wall. I stared at it. I looked deeply onto its smooth surface. I touched it and gently moved my hand up and down on it. It would be the last time I'd be around these walls, this home that had kept me safe, but had destroyed another.

I patted the wall one last time and walked over to where my faithful old Buster Sword was. It was on a shelf in a closet, just where I had last left her. I blew the bits of dust off of it and ran my hand along its smooth side. Ah, how beautiful she was! Though there was one thing that shattered the beauty: it was my reflection that was being shown off on the shiny blade. I just wanted to take that small part of it and twist it around, mangle that murderer's face and beat it to the ground! But alas! That murderer was me..I had already ruined the world though. Aeris hated me. Tifa hated me. All of AVALANCHE hated me. Most of all, I hated me.

That's what made me pick up that sword and look at it closely once more. My ears heard a knock at the door. My heart heard the unenlightened, harsh words that were most likely to come from Visitor-X's mouth. I ignored answering the door completely. But the knocking did not cease. Then, as I continued to ignore it, I heard a voice, a voice so beautiful that made me almost decide to quit what I was doing..it was the voice of the girl I loved. And that voice even almost stopped me from doing what I was about to do.

"Cloud," came her soft voice, through the wooden door, "Cloud, open up! I know you're home.."

She was persistent and kept knocking and calling to me. It was the first time I'd heard her voice in a good while, and though it had lost its spirit, I could still feel Aeris soft and gentle soul coming through it.

"Please!" she called to me sweetly, "I need to talk to you! Please!" And how I wanted to just throw my trusty old sword aside and run over to the door, open it and cradle her in my arms. But I couldn't. And hearing her voice, and remembering how it used to be, reminded me of how much I had taken away from her: her purity, her dignity, her child. And I couldn't risk her life again with my weak spirit..I just couldn't let her inside the house.

I heard some more voices outside. It was the rest of the gang. I could hear Barret above everyone else, asking Aeris where she had gone. "YO, girl!" he yelled to her, but not unkindly, "Where didja go, huh? We was worried boutcha!!"

"What are you doing here at Cloud's, anyway?" asked Vincent, his question being one of the first things I had heard out of him in a while.

"I came to see him.." she whispered quietly, "Please.do something. He's not answering the door!" If they broke through, I knew that I wouldn't be able to make things right.

By doing what I was going to do I would keep the Bond from breaking entirely, even though weakened through death, save Aeris from any harm and just pretty much rid the world of my existence. I didn't want to be alive anymore anyway. I was just wasting my days through and through and I had had enough of it. There was no more reason to be living.

I could still here everyone outside talking, though I didn't listen to their words. Instead, I concentrated on my actions. I held the sword out in front of me, both hands on the grip, as I thought a few of my last thoughts..would Barret be angry? Would Cid put out his cigarette to come to my funeral? Would Yuffie steal the remaining money on my dead body? Would Cait Sith come see me in person? Would Red howl at the moon mournfully? Would Vincent bow his head respectfully at my grave? Would Tifa care in the least? And most of all, would Aeris still love me the way she once had?

These things didn't really matter much. All that did matter was that the whole damn Bond thing would be alright, and that I wouldn't be harming anyone anymore. I didn't care. I really didn't care. I could hear Barret and the others pounding on the door now.

"OPEN THE HELL UP, CLOUD!" yelled Cid. I could hear sobs from Aeris. She seemed so damn frail these days. I wanted to save her from it all and just show her that I wasn't a bad guy, but it was too late. And I knew that I would never find Sephiroth and stop him from taking me over, again and again. It was all too late. And I just wasn't strong enough to take it all on. I wanted to be good enough for Aeris, to take care of her and save her from that beast of a man who was doing everything possible to harm her and have her for himself. I wasn't half the man Aeris had expected me to be.

"Cloud..Please!" I heard Aeris sobbing from behind the lock door.

"That's it!" I heard Barret yell. What were they doing? Dammit! They were going to break down the door!!! My plans, which only I understood, would be ruined. I had to save the Bond, for it would only weaken if I stayed alive and kept on hurting Aeris. I had to quit hurting her to. I had already done enough damage. Our poor baby was dead and with it had gone Aeris' sweet soul.

But I couldn't let them come in and stop me. It was too late. I was too tired. My mind was spinning. My stomach was queasy. My heart was racing. My spirit was urging me on. And with that, I held the sword with more grip, straight out in front of me. I could see my reflection in the blade.

I hate you! I thought as I saw myself. I wanted to destroy myself now more than ever. Time almost beat me though. Barret and Cid almost had the door broken down. I could see it out of the corner of my eye, bulging harshly from its hinges wildly as the two big guys shoved all their weight against it. But it was faithful to me, not falling till the very end.

This is it, I thought, perhaps a little fearful. What I was to do next was to forever change everything..

I plunged that daring blade straight into my stomach. Pain was my first instinct, as it made its way straight from my stomach, spreading all over. My mouth grew wide in surprise as I fell onto the floor, right on my back. The sword was still impaling and I wasn't about to take it out. I was glad that I was in pain. I deserved every second of it..

I heard the door finally break and fall down. I could just barely see the whole lot of AVALANCHE run through the opening, Aeris right at the front. I heard her scream shrilly as she laid her eyes upon me.

"NO!!" she screamed, tears evident in her voice. Little did she know, I was doing her a big favor. "CLOUD!!!" I turned my head to see her running towards me. She was wearing a cute pink dress that would have made her look beautiful if she hadn't had all those sad tears streaming down her face. Her hair was out long, flowing behind her elegantly. Time slowed down as I saw her coming towards me. Even as I lay, blood running out of me and pain enveloping my entire self, I desired her so, so much. I wanted to show her what I could do for her...how I had failed her, that poor beautiful creature that had had one of the worst lives out there.

"What the hell've you done, foo?!" screamed Barret, as he caught that gorgeous girl up in his tough arms, one of them but a huge gun. I opened my mouth to speak, to defend my actions, but only bloody came spilling out. At this disgusting sight, I saw Aeris cup her mouth with her hand frantically and sob loudly. She struggled from Barret and he allowed her to run from him. She dashed hurriedly to my side and took my strong hand in her small, delicate one. She kissed it and touched it to her face.

"What have you done?" she sobbed, her heart full of despair.

I opened my mouth again, determined to speak to her. Everyone else just watched from a distance, tears building up in their own eyes, it seemed. It was hard to speak, but I managed to get out what was needed. "I'm..saving us.. the Bond would die."

"No, NO!" she screamed, not letting herself hear what I was saying, "The Bond won't survive NOW!! How am I supposed to live without you?" She broke down in sobs as she leant in against my chest, beating it with her little fist.

"It was bound to happen," I heard Red XIII comment, "He was breaking down so much."

"Poor guy.." was all Vincent said, though it was plenty enough to know he cared.

"Not Cloud!" cried Yuffie, "Who's gonna tell us what to do now and know what to do?!"

"Idiot boy!" Barret muttered, tears welling up in his eyes, "Spiky white ass don't know nothing!"

"Damn thing," said Cid under his breath, "He's destroyed more than he understood."

"You've been a good friend, old bud," said Cait Sith, wiping his dry, mechanical face with his big arm.

Aeris just looked down at me, her face red and frightened from crying. I could still see those bruises there from a little while ago. I had left permanent scars on her, emotional and physical. "Tifa spoke to me," she whispered as if nothing were happening, "She wants you to know she loves you."

I was silent for a moment, but urged myself to bring forth more words. "But I don't..don't love her..I love you." She tried to keep from crying again, but deep gulps sounded from her throat and the tears came spilling out again.

"Why, Cloud, WHY?!" she screamed at me, hateful for what I'd done, "What am I supposed to do about Sephiroth? And what about the damn Bond? And just tell me, how the hell am I supposed to live without you?! HOW?! You're all I have LEFT!" She buried her tearful face in my chest again and cried deeply, sorrow filling my body, but not yet able to beat out the pain.

I started to cough. Blood came out again, some of it falling onto Aeris' pretty pink dress, though she didn't care. Nothing seemed to matter to her. She continued to cry as she was still holding my hand, her grip now tight and seemingly vengeful. The mood around me was definitely tense, but I, in as much pain as I was in, still felt so calm..

"I love you, Cloud. I love you so bloody much you could never understand. I needed you! Now I'll never be able to marry and have children and lead a normal life..I need YOU!"

I looked over to her, and with all my strength I lifted up my free hand and stroked her soft hair tenderly. She smelt lovely, like new blossoms. My stroking seemed to calm her a little and she looked up. "Oh, Cloud..please, Cloud, please..

"How am I supposed to live without you?"

~~~~~**********~~~~~

A/N: Oh MAN! I am so sorry I took so long to update!!! Damn schoolwork.. Grrr. well just the epilogue left. I hope y'all have been enjoying so far!!