CHAPTER SIX: What happened to chapter five??
Sephiroth could sense something was wrong. First off, there was no silly author's note. Second off, Chapter Five just imploded on itself. Frowning, the young general decided to upgrade his insurance.
And it was a good thing, too, for bad things were happening on the other side of the tranquil Destiny Islands...
Tidus was merrily walking along, waving around his cheap plastic stick and pretending to murder old ladies with it. Tidus is very disturbing, no?
"Hey, Wakka!" He smiled and waved.
"Hey, man, nice weather, ya?" Wakka replied, then he stopped and grabbed his throat in horror.
"D-Dude... you lost your cheap ass Jamaican accent!" Tidus fought down the urge to scream girlishly. The last time Wakka lost his accent, Destiny Islands blew up and they met... Cid.
Selphie idly walked by, and saw the two boys cowering in fear. She quickly looked around for Cid, but was left in confusion when their former employer was not there... what could be troubling the boys so?
"Guys, what's wrong?" She skipped over to them, twirling her little jump-rope/lethal weapon.
"S-Selphie! Wakka lost his accent!" Tidus fearfully informed her. Selphie shrieked and dove behind a bush, joining the boys in their act of cowering in fear. It would be only a matter of time until this chapter imploded on itself as well...
~~~
"Dude... where's my lightsabers??"
There actually were four Unknown. Three were readily keeping guard at the gate of the castle so they could yell at people coming to bother them about Deep Dive, but the fourth was often busy, fighting off the Final Mix players who had come for an extra challenge. Right now, one of the players had just kicked the Unknown's ass in a graceful, long, and utterly painful manner.
Said Unknown was limping to the Hidden Pokemon room, dragging his set of silver... sporks(?) with him. Sighing in a very sad and depressing way, he knocked on the door.
It opened, and Sora rose an eyebrow at the Unknown's state. His hood was nearly torn off and hanging in tatters, revealing long silvery hair. There were an untold amount of bruises on the side of his face, and one orange eye was twitching badly. His sleek coat was charred in some places, electrically charged in others, frozen near the midsection, and sometimes all three at once near the hood.
Sora's confused eyes trailed down to the sporks, which screamed to be put out of their misery.
"Ummm... Ansem?"
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, SORA!!" Ansem sobbed, dropping down and crying pitfully. "I CAN'T! IT'S... I CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT MY WEAPONS!! It's... (sob) t-t-too much, with the burning, a-a-and the bashing... I-I can't get a hit in, it's too hard to cast spells, I HATE IT!" The Unknown Ansem sobbed even more, shaking and obviously teetering on the brink of insanity, with one foot in the air and the other on a banana peel.
"Duuuuude..." Mickey muttered, looking over Ansem's pathetic state. "Maybe one of us should fill in for him, I don't think he can take it anymore..." He suggested.
Riku now came over, and gasped as he saw Ansem. He helped the older Unknown up and was about to take him in when the room flashed, demanding Ansem's presence for the next player.
"GOD NO!" Ansem cried out, grabbing Riku's robe. "N-No! P-Please! I don't wanna, oh god, spare me!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!" In hysterics, Ansem started screaming and rolled over to the big bean bag couch, trying to make himself as small as possible.
The room started flashing faster, indicating that Ansem had to hurry, or else the game would crash.
"Someone has to go up there for him..." Riku decided, then he grabbed his hood, lifted it to cover his face, and took both the Oathkeeper and the Oblivion.
"Dude, no!" Sora tugged at his best friend's sleeve. "You are so ginna screw up this place, Ansem is the only one up there!"
"HE CAN'T, HE-"
Unknown Riku: Is too... what the hell?
Mickey's eyes widened in horror.
Unknown Sora: THE GAME IS GONNA CRASH!!
Mickey: NOT THE GAME! THIS FIC!! THIS
"-chapter will blow up, like chapter five!" Mickey finished, relieved that the fiction came back to dialouge. Oh, he never thought he would be happy to say THAT.
The fiction slowly flickered back and forth between script and dialouge. The Four Unknown held their breath, awaiting the destruction. It did not come.
"Why?" Riku breathed.
Mickey shook his head, a nice tinkling sound of metal bumping into metal arising. It made everyone calm down.
"I don't know..." Mickey frowned. God, he hated being sober. it made him think rationally, and also made him quite wise, making the other Unknown depend entirely on him for all the knowledge instead of going to the Library and READING.
"D'ya think it had something to do with the crystals?" Riku helpfully pointed out. True, the crystals had been acting weird today, and one could only guess how Ansem managed to get back down to the Entrance Hall (the fact that one of his legs seem broken suggested that he chose to fall. It seems that physics had finally taken it's cold grip on this fiction).
"Yeah... wasn't that the day that Ansem's lightsabers went missing?" Sora added. Mickey would have jumped up with joy. His companions were actually THINKING.
"Dual Blades of Light!" Ansem interjected, having seemed to recover his wits.
"Shut up, Darky, no one asked you!" Mickey shot back.
"DARKY?? EXCUSE ME, I'M NOT THE ONE WITH 90% OF MY BODY COVERED IN BLACK FUR!"
Riku and Sora sniggered. The battle between the two Superior Intellects were often amusing. But now, of course, was not the time.
~~~
Alice stepped into the Library. She had only been here once, and that was when she was supposedly young, innocent, and being chased by some insane female(?)wannabe-Voldemort after being given the Death Penalty.
Indeed, her misadventures must have been inspired by a drug trip made by the author. There was no other explanation.
Sulking along, she smiled as she saw her old idiot partner, Cloud, happily dancing around. Ignoring the fact he was wearing a dress, she tapped him on the shoulder.
Cloud turned around and looked into the empty space, scratching his head when he found out that no one was there.
"Ow!" He yelped as he pricked his finger on one of his spikes. They were starting to become a hazard even to HIM.
"Down here, idiot."
Looking down, he smiled with glee as he saw Alice staring up at him, with a corss expression on her face. Seemingly forgetting that she had still to pay him his cookies, he wrapped his former best friend in a bear hug that would have killed the bear.
"ALICE!" He sang, twirling the suffocating princess in the air. "I MISSED YOU! Look, I'm... ummm.. follo..eeng... the plan, just like you wanted!"
Alice weakly nodded and stumbled around, panting for breath. This was gonna be a long chapter.
Lance frowned, not knowing that Cloud had an imaginary friend. Lance peeked over to where Cloud was standing and saw him speaking with a young girl who could have passed as his sister, gasping for breath.
"Cloud? You never told me you had a sister..." Lance muttered, coming out of the shadows. Alice growled at this newcomer.
"Who are you?" She demanded, drawing one of her lightsabers.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheshire Cat: Ooooh! Cliffhanger! And now, for some cheap advertising!
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1197800
Trickmaster: A story the author's friend made... very tolkien-ish, but not as confusing. Yay for cheap advertising!
