CHAPTER TWELVE: Random destruction!
I bought Pokemon Sapphire. I am happy now.
Disclaimers are available in Chapter One, fresh and hot.
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"chibilinnet, aren't you supposed to do something?"
Mickey and the others could only watch helplessly as chibilinnet got sucked into the addicting world of Pokemon Sapphire, spending her days training her Pokemon and speaking only in Trainer language, which was half-English and half-Stupid, according to the others.
"What? Mickey, don't bother me, I have to train Vivi..." chibilinnet muttered, referring to her Plusle.
"chibi, we had a deal!" Mickey shot back, having just about enough of her crap. chibilinnet was one of those annoying people who will do what they are asked to do, but at the last minute. And they usually do a half-assed job at that.
"So? I have my flaws, LEAVE ME BE!" The author boomed, causing the house to shake up. She grinned sadistically and went back to playing her precious Pokemon game, searching out a suitable attachment for her beloved Aron, Steena.
"Stupid authors think they're so important..." Mickey muttered darkly, climbing up the dark stairways of Viper Manor. He casually strolled over to a room with a hand-drawn sign that read "STAY AWAY. VIOLATORS WILL BE SHOT. SURVIVORS SHOT AGAIN."
"Oh, THAT is so original..." Mickey rolled his eyes. Suddenly, he yelped when a lighting bolt hit the ground about 2 inches away from him.
"I HEARD THAT!!!"
The door creaked open and Unknown Sora stuck his head out. This was a bad idea because Mickey attached himself to anything that moved at that moment. So now Unknown Sora was breathing in Mickey's horrible body odor (contrary to popular belief, Mickey does not have good hygiene. FOR SHAME, MICKEY!)
"AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHH!!!" Sora jumped back, tripping over a stray PS2 controller. Mickey got flung off his face and into the wall, cracking the plaster and revealing a mysterious red button. Mickey fell back down on the ground and onto the face of a spoon, which had a small bouncy red ball on the handle. The ball shot out, hit the other wall, and sped right into the cracked wall, hitting the button with much force.
It is safe to say the top floors of the Manor then exploded.
Of course, nobody was hurt. But they were injured by the falling rocks and debris, plus Unknown Riku soared through the sky and into a stray plothole that just popped up.
The author smiled at the carnage and destruction she created. That'll teach those fools to interrupt her Pokemon Training sessions!
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA...." chibilinnet cackled. She opened her brown eyes and saw a doughnut, sitting right in front of her. Krispy Kreme. Chocolate Glazed. No being could resist...
Of course, chibilinnet didn't know that the doughnut was connected to the Golden Shiny Wire of Destruction. And when you pull the Gol...
BOOM!!!!
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"Did you just hear something?"
"A plane probably just broke the sound barrier, Ansem..."
"What?"
"Not you, the other one..."
"What the hell?? The Airstation is out of service, there ain't no planes, you jackass!"
"Who the hell are you calling a jackass?!"
"WILL YOU TWO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND DIG?!"
"Sorry Seph..."
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Kairi observed the plothole with interest. It really was like smashing 20 lava lamps together and going on a massive drug trip.
"We're off to see teh author... TEH WONDER-"
"Shut up, Sora." Already, Kairi's good mood was ruined.
Riku frowned and pushed Kairi lightly.
"Hey, Kairi, do you have to be so mean to Sora?"
"Why yes!" Kairi replied angrily. She decided not to elaborate on why. It was obvious Riku liked him more than her... stupid brown-haired egotistical jerk...
The plothole shook violently and the colors changed from swirly multicolor to just plain black. Darkness fil-
"YAY DARKNESS!!"
"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP AND DIG!!!"
"Sorry..."
...anyway, darkness filled the corridor, filling the plothole with eerie silence. Sora whimpered and hid behind Riku, and Kairi clutched Riku's arm in fear.
I'm such a stud! Riku happily thought. I do not know why Riku would be thinking something like that at a time like this, but there's Riku for you...
The darkness stayed, and the three teens found themselves stuck in the dark. Sora wished that Shroom knew Flash.
Eya creaked cautiously and padded forward. It pokes Shroom in the back, causing his eyes to emit HIGH POWERED LIGHT BEAMS OF DEA... well, they were non-lethal actually. Maybe make you blind... oh well, guess you can't have anything...
"Yay! We can see!" Sora squealed and hugged Shroom. He put the confused Heartless down.
With a little encouragement from Eya, Shroom started guiding our "heroes" along the path of despair... or something like that.
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"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee-dee-dee-dee..."
"Cloud, will you get me that book over there?" Alice instructed him, pointing the a bookshelf.
"OK!" Cloud happily trotted over a random bookcase and grabbed a random book, a tall thick one, since he was too stupid to follow directions...
But maybe Cloud should have, because that book happened to be holding up the shelf. The shelf toppled down with a crash, causing the books placed on it to fall forward. They rained down on Cloud, but the spiky haired warrior couldn't feel it through his thick spiky hair...
He stepped back, stepping on a book page. Yelping in surprise, Cloud fell back, his foot slamming into the end of the bookcase. The force was sufficient enough to topped the bookcase over. It slammed on Cloud, his arm rocketing up into the air. The book he was holding flew out of his hand and landed with a thud on Alice's desk.
"Oh, thanks Cloud!" Alice smiled, taking the book and ignoring Cloud's muffled shouts of pain.
The author was feeling particularly destructive today, it seems...
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To: chibilinnet@yahoo.com
From: kidgenius616@comcast.net
Subject: i got it...
Message:
mary i got clod's address just to let you know. do you still want the shotgun?
[Action: Reply]
Yes. I still want the shotgun.
