Chapter 45

Buffy sat up in Angel's apartment curled in on herself. When Angel had finally caught up to her and assured her that he wasn't letting Angelus out no matter what anyone said, they had come back here and Angel had put her to bed. Wesley was nowhere to be found and the rest of the gang was downstairs. Finally, Buffy got up and walked down the steps.

"You're wasting your time. The answer is among us." Connor said, pointing at Angel in the office. "He knows. He's part of the plan."

"He doesn't remember." Cordy said.

"So he says. You and mom both saw him yourselves making a pact with the Beast."

"It wasn't Angel. It was Angelus."

"He is Angelus."

"Believe me. You've never met Angelus."

"Me neither." Gunn said. "But I'm starting to think maybe it's time we did. Maybe Wes is right. Big beastie has got to be stopped and I'm fresh out of ideas. If there's even a chance Angelus could have inside info we could use.."

"And you think he's willingly going to turn it over?" Buffy asked. They all turned to her startled. She hadn't made a sound as she watched them.

"I think it's worth a try. Look Buffy, I know that you went through hell five years ago, but it's not gonna happen this time."

"You can't guarantee that. Besides, bringing Angelus out? Not gonna happen. The gypsies cursed him with a soul so he could feel remorse, to make him suffer for all the people he slaughtered. Removing that soul is the only way to change Angel back into Angelus. Right now, it's a lot easier said than done. The gypsy curse was specific. For Angel to lose his soul, he would have to experience a moment of perfect, pure happiness. But that was then. Willow changed the spell. The happiness clause is out. There is no way to bring Angelus out now."

"Then why did you overreact that way back there Buffy?" Fred asked.

"You think I liked hearing that we NEED Angelus. No one could ever possibly need Angelus. I'm sorry I acted the way I did, but the only people in this room that would understand are Cordy and Xander." Buffy looked at them and they nodded slightly.

Angel and Lorne came out of the office. Angel looked up and saw Buffy standing there. She looked tired and small. "Buffy."

"Did Lorne help you remember?" Buffy asked, not wanting to make small talk about how she was feeling.

"No."

"Anything at all?" Xander asked.

"Nothing." Angel looked at Fred. "So what have we got?"

"A puzzle with missing pieces and some cryptic gibberish." Fred said. "Angel, whatever power this device had got swallowed up by the Beast. It won't bring back the sun. Without the orb, it's as useless as.."

"Us. Face it, man, we're losing ground. Pretty much the only victory we can claim is that we're not dead yet." Gunn said.

Angel looked around at the defeated expressions on the faces of the people around him. "Okay, look, I know things haven't been going our way lately but things change and we're not down for the count yet. Look, the Beast is not our only concern right now. Until we figure out how to end eternal darkness, it's a devil's playground out there."

"Just the way you like it, huh?" Connor asked.

"Connor." Buffy warned.

"Something to say, Connor? You got a problem?" Angel asked.

"You."

"Hey! Connor." Buffy warned again. He looked at her and kept going.

"Acting like the big leader. Like we don't already know what we know."

"And what do you know?" Angel asked.

"Would you two stop?" Buffy said, stepping down from the landing.

"Everybody thought it was me. Maybe even I was starting to. But it was you all along. You're the one who's working with the Beast." Connor said, standing up.

"I'm not." Angel said.

"Well, then you're a puppet! Either way, everything's going to hell because of you. You're the reason that the sun is gone. You're the reason mom looks as terrible as she does. It's you. You're the reason my life sucks."

"Get over it."

"Damn it you two! Why don't you BOTH get over it? Sure, the world sucks. I'm the most qualified in the room to say it. But none of us need the testosterone poisoning that's oozing out of you both." Buffy said, glaring at her son and husband. "Connor, sit down and shut up. This isn't Angel's fault. Angel, don't urge him on."

"Not to be a butinsky but could we get back to the pep-talky thing?" Lorne asked.

"Well, I'm not one to turn down a little pep but I'd much prefer we had a plan." Fred said.

"Here's one." Wesley said, stepping into the room with a robed man. "Him."

"Who is he?" Buffy asked.

"Wo Pang. He can deliver Angelus to us."

"Thought you said.." Gunn said to Buffy.

"Me, too." Buffy said.

"Fred, would you mind brewing some tea for our guest?" Wesley asked.

"Sure." She motioned for Wo Pang to follow her.

Angel walked over and took Wesley by the arm and pulled him into the office. "What do you mean 'deliver Angelus'?"

"Wo Pang's a shaman.. Order of the Kun-Sun-Dai." Wesley said.

"Dark mystics? You brought a dark mystic here without talking.."

"Claims he has the power to extract souls."

"Claims?"

"More importantly, he can restore them. Once we learn what it is Angelus knows about the Beast.."

"We're not bringing Angelus. I promised Buffy."

"You don't have a choice."

"Actually, I do. That was it. You want to hear it again? Not with the bringing."

"Don't make this harder than it has to be, Angel. There's no Plan B and we're running out of time. People are in serious danger."

"Then unleashing Angelus is the last thing that we should do. If he's here, I'm not. I won't be able to protect anyone from the Beast.. Or from me."

"We have Buffy."

"You think she'd be able to kill me? After all we've been through in the past year? Do you really think she could? Look at her Wesley. That's just from even thinking about bringing Angelus out."

"It's only temporary. We'll take all the necessary precautions in the interim. Contain you. I'm not blind to the risks. I know what Angelus.."

"Did you not listen to what Buffy said? You have no idea what Angelus is, Wesley. All you know is what you've read in books. You've never had the pleasure of his company, Buffy has. You're not going to. Get rid of the shaman." Angel turned and walked back out into the lobby, past all of his stunned friends, and out into the solarium. After a moment, Cordelia followed.

Buffy watched them go. She knew what Wesley and Angel had been talking about. Connor came to stand next to her. "Mom?"

"Don't talk to me Connor." Buffy said.

"Mom.."

"Connor, I know exactly what you're going to say. Don't. Angel is not the reason your life sucks. And who says your life sucks? You think everyone's life is full of sunshine and roses? I know mine isn't. Hasn't been for the past eight years. Angel's right. Get over it." Buffy walked away and disappeared in the kitchen. After a minute, Lorne joined her.

"You ok Blondie? Fred told me about your little scene earlier."

"I'll be fine." She took a sip of water and set the sup back down. "Once this is all over, I'll be fine."

Lorne nodded and walked out of the kitchen with her. Just as they got back into the lobby, Angel came walking through the doors. "We're going to need a cage."

"A cage?" Lorne asked.

"Strong one, about 10 x 12, steel-reinforced, two-inch bars. Maybe three. I'll make some calls." Angel shut the door to the office behind him.

"What? He thinks something like that's going to hold the Beast?" Gunn asked.

"It's not for the Beast. It's for him." Wesley said.

Buffy stared at the door to the office. Everyone went their own ways and started to get to work on building the cage. The anger started to really build in Buffy now. After a few minutes had passed, Angel walked out of the office. He stopped and looked at Buffy. She closed her eyes, shook her head, and ran up the stairs.

"Buffy!" Angel called, running after her. He burst through the door and shut it behind him. Buffy stood in the middle of the room, sobbing.

"You promised me!" Buffy said quietly over and over. The more she said it, the louder it got. "YOU PROMISED ME!"

"I know."

"How could you do this to me?"

"It's not about you, Buffy. It's about getting back the sun."

"I don't give a damn what this about! You promised me that Angelus was gone for good. Never to be seen ever again." Tears poured down her face. "All those things he did to me!"

"I know. I was there."

"No you weren't. If you had been there, Angelus wouldn't have been."

"Buffy.."

"Don't say my name like that! You don't have the right to anymore!"

"Why not? Huh Buffy?"

"Do NOT try and fight back now."

"I'm going to. I understand why you're mad, I do. But Buffy, this is the only way."

"And you know he's not going to talk. It's all going to be a waste."

"Maybe, but it's worth a shot."

"No, it's really not! Have you even thought about the what ifs?"

"We don't have time for that!"

"What if he gets out? What if manages to get rid of your soul once and for all? What if he kills all of our friends? What if he kills me? What if he CHANGES me? He's perfectly capable of doing it Angel! And what's worse is that he knows that I won't be able to kill him."

"You did it once."

"No! I killed YOU once."

"It was Angelus you were fighting."

"It was YOU I sent to hell. It was YOU I stabbed through the heart with Kendra's sword. It destroyed me Angel! It destroyed me when I lost you!" Angel went to wrap his arms around Buffy, but she shoved him back with all of her strength. He went flying across the room and crashed into the wall, leaving a dent. "Don't touch me! I hate you! I hate you! I HATE YOU! You're not Angel! You're not. You can't be. Angel wouldn't do this to me!"

Angel got up and walked back up to Buffy, knowing he was going to get the brunt of her anger through her fists. As expected, she lashed out with her fists. Blow after blow struck his face and then they moved down to his chest. She was pounding on his chest and sobbing. None of the blows were her full strength. Buffy was just Buffy. She was sobbing over her love that was trying to leave her. Angel knew that these were all the tears that she hadn't let out after he had left her graduation day. Finally he blows stopped and she was leaning into his chest sobbing loudly.

"Shh. Please Buffy." Angel stroked her hair. "Don't cry."

"How can I not?" She tried to push him away, but Angel held on with everything he was.

"You have every right to. Go ahead, cry until your body doesn't have any moisture left in it."

"Stop it."

"Buffy, this is pointless. I'm not going to be gone that long."

"What if.." Angel silenced her with a kiss. At first she tried to pull away, but then Angel deepened the kiss and she melted into it. When they broke apart, Buffy gasping for breath, Angel laid his forehead to hers.

"I love you Buffy. Don't ever, ever doubt that. Nothing can take me away from you. I've always been in your heart. Remember? Always."

"Don't do that!" She shoved him away again. "You can't just kiss me and expect everything to be ok! It's not! You're leaving me again."

"I'm not! Buffy.." Angel was cut off by a knock at the door. Gunn stood on the other side.

"Everything ok up here? I heard screaming."

"Not now Gunn." Angel said.

"Um, Wes is almost done."

Angel nodded and looked back at Buffy. She had her back turned to him. Angel sighed and looked back at Gunn. "We'll be done in a minute." Gunn nodded and left. Angel looked down at his hand. The Gem of Amara caught his eye. "Oh God." He ripped it off his finger. "Buffy."

"What?" Acid dripped in her tone as she spun to face him.

"Take this." He put the Gem in her hand and closed it. "Hide it somewhere safe. Don't let me find out where it's at."

"I knew it! You're just as scared as I am that Angelus is going to get out."

"No.."

"You wouldn't be giving me the ring if you weren't."

"Ok, I'm scared too."

"And your claddagh?"

"Will never leave my finger."

"Fine." Buffy tightened her fist over the ring. "I'll put it somewhere safe."

"Thank you." Angel started to walk out of the room, but stopped and turned back around just as he was about to step out of the doorway. "Buffy, I love you." She had her back turned again. Angel could tell she was crying again. If there was anything he could do right then, he would. But there was nothing, so he just left.