Rating: PG. For "Star Wars" goofiness.
Feedback: Very, very much appreciated. In fact, it's mandatory.
Distribution: If you want it, by all means... Just let me know first, I'd like to know where my work goes so I can brag about it.
Spoilers: Um... Spoilers? Did you not read the summary?
Disclaimer: Not mine. Everything Buffy and gang belong to the Joss-god and everything Star Wars belongs to the Supreme
Overlord George W. Lucas.
Author's Note: Yet another abnormally short chapter. I needed to give a major (and minor) plot point their own chapter.
A/N 2.0: Star Wars fans will notice that I used the scene with Han and Jabba from the special edition of A New Hope. I wanted to introduce Warren, Andrew and Jonathan to the public before their major scenes in the 3rd (technically 6th) installment of the series.
*****
Angelus was in a bad mood. Normally this isn't a bad thing; he's notorious for always being a bit on the perturbed side.
"Her resistance to the torture is incredible," the gelled wonder muttered to Mayor Wilkins, who was standing to his left. "And that pisses me off!"
"Easy, big fella," Wilkins consoled, patting the vampire on the shoulder. "Okay, so physical pain doesn't work. We know that now. In fact, we could use that to our advantage."
Angelus cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Before an explanation could be given, they were approached by one of the lower ranked officers. "The final check-out is complete. All systems are fully operational. What course shall we set?"
The Mayor turned from the officer with a wily grin on his face. "That's what I mean," he said, pointing at the messenger. "Strong-arming her isn't going to work, so..."
The ebony-haired vampire returned the grin, but with a more malicious undertone. "Officer," Angelus called over Wilkins' shoulder. "Set a course for the Los Angeles system."
"And make it snappy," the Mayor added as the officer turned to walk away.
For the first time in a good long while, Angelus laughed a cheerful (but still really evil-like) laugh. "Rick, have I mentioned how evil you are?"
A hint of a blush colored the Mayor's cheeks. "Oh, stop. You're just as malicious."
"Really? You think?"
"Angelus, I don't think. You know that."
*****
Connor Skywalker and Rupert-Wan Kenobi left Willie's cantina in quite a hurry. Having an entire squadron of vampire troopers on your tail does not favor the slow of step.
"You do realize you'll have to sell the Jeep," Ripper quickly reminded the youth as the duo made their way down the main street.
"That's okay," Connor assured. "I'm never coming back to this planet ever again."
Oh, Connor, how wrong you are.
*****
Docking Bay 94 was a lot more crowded than when Xander and Spike had left it. Milling about the DeSoto was a trio of nerds, a.k.a. the Troika, and a bunch of their hired lackeys. The twosome had theorized that the only reason they hired lackeys in the first place was that they couldn't make actual friends, but they knew better than to say that to the Troika's faces. Nerds though they are, they carried a lot of power.
The first nerd, Warren, "the Head" of the Troika, is the tallest and self-proclaimed smartest of the three and that's why he gets to be the Head. The second nerd, Andrew, spineless whelp he was, didn't argue with Warren's theory and he, being second tallest, got to be "the Body." Jonathan, the third and shortest nerd, was stuck at the bottom of the pyramid of power and was therefore made "the Tail."
"They're never gonna show up."
"Patience, Short Round," Warren admonished. "You must have patience. They've gotta show up sometime. Those two would never leave without their precious... they call that a ship?"
Xander had to hold William back. True, the vampire could do no damage, seeing as how all three members of the Troika were of the human race, but those lackeys with crossbows in hand didn't seem all that vampire-friendly.
Unfortunately for Xander's "just turn around and walk away" plan, Warren heard the faintest scuffling over by the entryway. It really didn't take a stretch of the imagination to figure out who that was.
"Come on out, Solo! We've been waiting for you."
The pair left the sanctuary of the doorway moments later, having come to the unanimous decision that it was now or never. He who was tropical-clad came face to face with the Head while William found refuge in the shadowed region of the docking bay.
"I've been waiting for you, Mears." The tough guy tone in Xander's voice would have been more effective if his voice hadn't cracked mid-sentence.
"I expected you would be."
"I'm not the type to run." In the shadows, a sniggering could be heard. "Oh really? Well then, if you're so cool, then why don't you come out here in the blazing sun and come talk to our bosses?" The sniggering stopped abruptly. "I thought not."
"Xander, my boy," Warren said in a fatherly-like demeanor. "There are times when you disappoint me. Why haven't you paid up?" The Head shook his own solemnly. "And why did you have to dust poor Tricko like that? I mean, after all we've been through..."
"You sent Tricko to drain me."
Warren placed his hand on his chest and gasped in feign surprise. "Alexander, why, you're the best smuggler in the business. You're too valuable to bite. He was only relaying my concern at your delays."
"He was hungry."
"Well... yeah. But that's unavoidable."
"Next time, Mears, don't send one of those annoying bloodsuckers. If you've got something to say, tell me yourself."
Warren let his hand drop from his chest, but the tone of fatherliness remained intact. "Xander, Xander. If only you hadn't had to dump that shipment of comic books... you understand I just can't make an exception. Where would we be if every pilot who smuggled for us dumped their shipment at the first sign of an Imperial starship? It's not good business."
"You know, even I get pulled over sometimes. I didn't really have any other choice." Xander edged closer to the shadow-protected William. "Look, we've got a charter right now and I can pay you back, plus a little extra. I just need more time."
The lackeys all about Xander and Spike began aiming the crossbows; one for Xander's head and the other for the vampire's heart. Both gulped uneasily.
"Put your crossbows away," Warren ordered, and the lackeys complied. Xander's breath returned to him. "Xander, my boy, I'm only doing this because you're the best and we need you. So, for an extra, say... twenty percent, I'll give you a little more time... but this is it. If you disappoint me again, I'll put a price on your heads so large you won't be able to go near a populated city for the rest of your short, and in the vamp's case undead, life."
Jonathan leaned over to his taller, blonde companion. "Why does he get all the cool lines?"
Warren glared venomously to the diminutive one. "Must we go through this again, Pee-Wee? I'm the Head and I make all the cool decisions and get the cool lines. The Tail, that being you, get to stand there and watch me."
"Do I even have a purpose?"
The Head sighed impatiently. "You cast the spells that make people fear us. And you make me look taller."
"What about me?" the middle one interjected.
"You summon demons to collect the bounty."
Andrew grinned. "Oh yeah. I'm cool."
Warren patted his friend's shoulder, like one would do to a good puppy. "You keep believing that." He turned away from his associates and back to Xander, who was now waiting with a retort.
"Warren, we'll pay you because we have nothing better to do."
