Defense Against the Dark Arts

            Harry yawns and starts to nod off in his Defense Against the Dark Arts class later that afternoon.  The last few teachers they'd had for the class had always been duds, beside Professor Remus J. Lupin, who had decided to leave of his own accord.  This new teacher, Doctor Gerard Zimmermann, not only spoke with a strange accent so that it is nearly impossible to understand what he is saying, but also speaks in a monotone, making the lecture unbearably boring.

            "Herr Potter," Zimmermann snaps, his blue eyes blazing with fury.  Harry sits up with a start.  "How many times must I ask you to stay avake in my class?  Zis is very important material you vill be tested on and I vill not tolerate a lack of decent sleep on your half as an excuse to do poorly.  Do I make myself clear?"

            Harry nods, understanding only about half of what he's been told.  But Zimmermann just glares at him and strokes his thick black moustaches and continues his lesson on the importance of carrying various poisons throughout their travels.

            "Must be a good pal of Snape's, eh Harry?" Ron whispers.  "A real potions nut."

            "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for Herr Weasley's lack of interest in my lesson," Zimmermann says in between discussing garlic supplements and wolfsbane additives.  He continues as though he hadn't been interrupted. 

Ron just gives Harry an astonished looked.  "He can't do that, can he?"

            "Shut up and pay attention!" Hermione hisses at them.  She keeps her eyes on Zimmermann, though it's obvious she really doesn't understand him, either.

            "Another fifteen from Granger, for not minding her own business," Zimmermann adds to his information on a simple remedy for charm induced insomnia.

            Hermione's jaw drops but she says nothing further.  Johnny snickers nearby but straightens her face when Zimmermann's piercing gaze falls on her.  She takes out a ball point pen to take notes when he pauses in front of her desk.  "Muggle born, I see."

            Draco almost explodes in laughter when Zimmermann takes the pen from Johnny.  "If you can't take notes ze proper vay, you vill not take notes at all."

            Macy Danvers, the American Slytherin Seeker, raises her hand.  "Yes, Danvers?"

            "Johnny can't use quills, Doctor Zimmermann.  She never got the hang of using them back home so she gets special treatment for it," Macy says in a singsong voice.

            "No exceptions here, Parker.  You vill be taught or you vill not attend my class," Zimmermann takes the quill from Macy's desk and drops it onto Johnny's desk.  "Twenty-five points from Slytherin for Danvers' lack of consideration for a fellow classmate's plight."

            "What?" Macy gasps.  She feels her housemates' icy glare of disapproval.  She sighs grumpily and keeps her mouth shut for the rest of the class.

            The end of the class doesn't come soon enough for any of the students.  They rush out of class as fast as they can.  Before leaving, Johnny walks back to Zimmermann's desk.  "I'd like my pen back."

            "Ze other teachers allow you to use such a perverse method of writing?" Zimmermann asks.

            "It's all I've got.  I never bother buying quills because I keep breaking them," Johnny says in annoyance.  "Can I have it back?"

            "I expect zat my homevork vill be done vith a quill on parchment.  In you own handwriting," Zimmermann says.  "Vhat do you expect to do in order to pass my class?"

            Johnny crosses her arms.  "I suppose you'll have to learn to read the garbage that ends up on parchment whenever I try to do anything with a quill," she stuffs her pen into her pocket.  "If you'll excuse me, I've got class with a reasonable teacher now."

            "Be avare, Parker," Zimmermann starts.  "Learning to deal vith discomfort is a step tovard learning to defend yourself against dark vizards.  Zis is only regarding homevork but vhat happens vhen you must deal vith ze likes of unfriendly magical creatures?  Do you think zat zey vill allow you to adjust things so zat you are comfortable?"

            Johnny walks away angrily.  Zimmermann just sits in his chair and grins.

            "That Zimmermann's impossible!" Ron explodes once they're far enough away from the classroom.  "What a jerk!"

            "I was just trying to get you to behave and I got in trouble," Hermione moans.  "He's so not fair."

            Ginny hurries to catch up to the trio.  "Hey!  Are you heading to lunch?"

            "Yeah.  Care to join us?" Harry asks.  Ginny blushes deeply.  He smiles warmly.  "Come on, you can even sit next to me."

            "You're so full of yourself, Harry Potter," Hermione begins, rolling her eyes.  She sees the way that Ginny is practically dying of embarrassment and sees that Harry's cockiness is slightly warranted.  "Oh.  Yeah, have lunch with us, Ginny."

            Denise and Cynthia are wandering down the hall in the opposite direction, holding hands with Mark and Matthew.  They all grin at Harry and Ginny.  "How's it going, guys?  Ready for the Quidditch preliminaries?"

            "We just got our notices on them yesterday," Harry replies.  He pats Ginny on the shoulder chummily.  "Hate to compete against you blokes just to play this year."

            Mark shrugs.  "It's worse off for you guys.  If we fail out, we still get to stay here and have kind of a field trip for the rest of the year.  If you lose, you have to sit on the sidelines."

            "But best of luck to you," Denise says with a genuine smile.  "We hear you're all great players.  I'm sure you're not going to make things easy on us."

            They all pass with well wishes and good lucks.  Hermione is confused.  "Preliminaries?"

            "What Dumbledore's decided to do this year is have all the teams compete to form one great house team from the best players from each school," Ginny says.  She sighs.  "I know Harry'll make it.  But I'm so new to the team, Colby's going to get the spot for sure."

            "Don't think that way," Harry says chidingly.  "You're an excellent Keeper."

            "I didn't think anyone could blush that deeply," Ron says, laughing at his little sister.  She glowers at him.  "Seriously, though, you're going to do fine."

            Ginny grins broadly.  Ron's confidence in her means a lot.  She hugs him suddenly.  "Thanks, Ron.  Thanks a lot!"

            Ron chuckles uncomfortably and pats Ginny on the head.  "That's great.  You're welcome.  Uh, get off."

            Ginny lets go of Ron as Professor Snape walks down the hall.  He glares at them.  "What are you doing just standing around?  It's the lunch hour and you're wasting your own time here."

            "Severus, a vord vith you, if you vill," Zimmermann suddenly calls.  He is limping down the hall toward the group.  He narrows his eyes at them.  "Alone, preferably, unless you fell adult matters are suitable for a group of young Gryffindors."

             Snape actually smiles, a twisted sight that the gang hopes never to see again.  "Of course, Doctor Zimmermann.  My office?"

            "Perfect," Zimmermann says.  He calls after the group, which is slinking away slowly.  "Fifteen points from Gryffindor for not taking a hint sooner!"

            "What?" Ron gasps.  "Not again!"

            Hermione clamps a hand over Ron's mouth and they all rush to have lunch.  Colby and Daniel are already eating when they arrive.  "Sit down, sit down!" Daniel says excitedly.  "We just had a Potions exam today.  That maniac teacher here is out of his mind!  I don't even remembering him covering everything we got tested on!"

            "That's Snape for you," Ron grumbles.  "I'll bet he holds special classes in the Slytherin common room for his students just so that they can one up us."

            Colby sighs.  "I'm so bad at Potions.  I never remember what things goes where, when, or with what."

            "Why don't you cheat?" Harry asks.

            "Harry!" Hermione shrieks.  "You can't cheat on an exam for anyone but especially not for Snape!"

            Colby smiles dimly.  "It's okay, Hermione.  I'm too slow to cheat."

            "Don't say that about yourself," Ginny says.

            Daniel chuckles.  "He's fast on a broom, Ginny, but you put him in front of a book and it's all over.  Turning pages with a slug would be quicker."

            "It's true," Colby says.  He shrugs.  "It's better that way, I guess.  The temptation isn't there."

            Johnny is sitting at the far end of the Gryffindor table, trying desperately to write properly with a quill.  There are splintered remains of her previous attempts all around her.  She growls in frustration as she tears up another piece of parchment.

            "And you call yourself a wizard," Jennie Morgan, an American Beater, chuckles over Johnny's shoulder.  "Give it up.  You're going to fail Defense Against the Dark Arts here and get sent back home for not keeping your grades up.  They got a place for failed wizards back home on the range?"

            "Back off, Morgan," Johnny snarls.  "Or I'll find another use for this quill in your fat face."

            Jennie laughs even harder.  "My, my.  Aren't we witty today?  I forget, what did Professor Donnelly say about your threats back home?  Oh yeah, that if she heard any news of your temper causing a disturbance here, she'd land you a one way ticket back home to… Oregon, or something?"

            A big mess of potato lands on Jennie's Slytherin robes.  She looks up, eyes blazing.  Her gaze falls on Seamus, who's laughing with Dean on the far end of the table.  She sees the baked potato in front of him.  She starts to walk toward him, her hands curled into fists at her sides when Hermione stands right in front of her.  "Leave it to an American to resort to violence before even finding out whether he's done anything or not."

            "You might want to get out of my face, English, before I move you," Jennie's rage only allows her to speak in whispers.

            "Leave the Mudblood alone, Jennie," Liana replies from the Slytherin table.  "They tend to stick to their own kind anyway, dragging along the rest of the wizards foolish enough to put up with their filth through the muck with them."

            Liana and Jennie glare at the Gryffindor table and walk to their own.  Johnny looks at Hermione with a shocked expression on her face.  Hermione looks surprised as well, but she quickly shakes it off.  "Come with me, Joann."

            "Where are we going?" Johnny asks.  "You're in the middle of lunch with your buddies."

            "We're going to the library to work on your quill penmanship.  I will not have you losing us points because you get into trouble with Doctor Zimmermann," Hermione says haughtily.  "Besides, the Slytherin air about here is causing me to lose my appetite."