Chapter 11
The Prodigal Son Returns
Buffy curled up on Spike's lap and let him hold her. He held her close wishing he could take away her pain. When had her pain become his pain? Sometimes he thought it started years ago when he was in that damn wheelchair and that wanker Angelus was torturing and killing Buffy little by little. He admired her spirit even than. The way she kept standing no matter what that poofter throw at her is what caused him to respect her enough to offer her an alliance. Little did he know back then that one day he would love her with such abandonment that he would contemplate giving up everything he was to be by her side.
The quiet moment between them was interrupted as the voices of a returning Willow and Dawn were heard coming from the main entrance of the house. "Buffy we're home and we brought pizza. We even got the all vegetable kind you like" Dawn called out as she entered the house.
Buffy quickly scooted off Spike's lap, but gave his hand a little squeeze as she called out to her sister, "Dawnie we're in the kitchen."
Dawn followed by a smiling Willow entered the kitchen and caught sight of the vampire making himself at home with a mug of blood. "Spike, what are you doing here and at this time of day?" Dawn asked with sarcasm in her voice.
"Nice to see you too Bit" he responded a little hurt by her question.
Willow jumped in to reply to the vampire "I don't think she meant anything by it Spike. You should know that Dawn and I both consider you a friend. Your always welcome, it is just that ……we have plans with Buffy this afternoon, girl stuff."
"Willow you don't have to speak for me. Spike knows how much I like having him around" Dawn interrupted Willow giving Spike a big smile. "However, Spike, Willow is right we do have a girls thing planned" she told him hoping we would leave so they could get down to the business of finding out what was in the journal.
With both Willow and Dawn giving him those, please do it for us looks, he finally said, "I guess I'll be on my way. A bloke knows when he's not wanted."
Smiles spread across Willow and Dawn's faces, but Buffy wanted him to stay and surprised everyone when she called out, "You can stay….that is if you want to."
She turned to her sister and friend, "I know it was just going to be us, but he found the book and I had to tell him it wasn't mine."
"Thought at first she had gone around the bend when I started to read it" Spike informed the group.
"You let him read it?" Dawn demanded giving her sister that spoiled brat look she had perfected over the last year.
"No she didn't Bit. I was in the neighborhood and stopped by to see how things were going. Big sis was in the shower. I couldn't go barging in, so I made myself at home. That was when I found the book and took it upon myself to read it. So you see, it's all my doing" Spike said to the teenager.
Willow looked at the lovesick vampire and than back at Buffy. There was something that had been nagging her about the two of them. Sometimes when Buffy looked at Spike, Willow thought she could see longing in her friends eyes. Of course Spike always looked at Buffy like a lovesick schoolboy. It was strange, but of all her friends this vampire was the one she could feel the most empathy for. After all she knew what it was like to not fit in and how much it hurt when someone you loved never looked at you that way. Most of the time she thought she was over the insecurities that plagued her during high school, but to be honest they were always there just beneath the surface.
"Buffy if Spike stays do we still get a rundown on what's in the slayer journal?" Dawn asked hopefully.
"I don't see why not" she told them.
A smiling Spike headed for the pizza, "What kind did you get pet? I hope you remembered to tell them no garlic?" a happy Spike said as he started to go through the boxes. "How can you eat this vegetable pizza luv?" he questioned with a look of disgust on his face. Buffy rolled her eyes while Dawn and Willow giggled.
The group ate pizza while Buffy gave them the basics of what she had read in the journal. Several times Spike interrupted to correct what he thought was an important oversight on her part. The girls listened intently to Buffy's depiction of the story.
"Wow" was all Dawn said once Buffy had finished.
"Ditto on the wow from me too" Willow added.
After a moment Dawn looked at Spike and demanded, "How could you leave her for that ho Dru? I thought you loved her?"
Spike didn't know how to answer Dawn. The question made him uneasy. Luckily for him Buffy interrupted "Dawn that wasn't Spike. You can't blame him for what that Spike did."
"Yes I can. Didn't Whistler say that the worlds were the same except for his interference? He got Angel to come here and at the same time prevented Spike and Dru from coming to Sunnydale" the younger girl stated with determination.
"Dawn I think you need to understand it is more complicated then that" Willow said trying to calm her.
Spike stared at Buffy his eyes exhibiting his anguish "You mean if Whistler wouldn't have interfered, you would love me?" The look on his face was enough to break anyone's heart and Dawn felt instantly guilty for her behavior.
"No Bit you're right I'm just like that bastard that left her" he replied as he made his way out into the night.
Buffy ran into the dark after him. She wasn't sure what she would say to him, but she knew he needed her. That damn journal, she couldn't wait to get her hands on Whistler.
She found him lighting up a cigarette and leaning against a tree in her back yard. "Go back to your friends Buffy. I'm sure they are wondering what you are doing out here with me" he told her as he stared off into the night.
"I don't want to that is unless you come with me" she told him.
"Yeah go back in and see what a wanker I am. I never want to hurt you again," he said softly. Walking away from her he continued "I don't think I want to know what happens. It hurts too much."
To his retreating back she pleaded, "You think it doesn't hurt me. This thing between us is killing me. I thought if I walked away it would stop, but it hasn't. I still want and need you, but I'm afraid to love you. Spike please tell me why it has to be so hard?"
She was crying. That was the one thing that Spike couldn't take. With reticence he gathered her into his arms. "Spike maybe we need to know what's in that journal. If Whistler is right it may help. I know I don't have the right to ask, but please stay. For some reason having you there is a comfort to me" she told him with a tentative voice.
Spike took an unneeded breath and sighed, "Sure luv. Lets go read more of the adventures of Buffy and Spike the alternative version.
After the gang regrouped in the living room to continue, it was decided they would take turns reading out loud. Willow got to read first.
***
I knew something was wrong when I had been home for three days and Giles told me he thought it was a good idea for me to spend some time with my mother. We could get back to our training some time next week. This was not the Giles I knew. I had just spent two months with my dad in LA and now that I'm home he's blowing off my training.
The next night after killing a rather nasty demon I decided a trip to Giles was in order. The thing had almost taken me out. I defiantly needed to get back to my training. When I got to his condo I could hear music playing, but he didn't answer the door, so I decided to go in. Giles had given me carte blanche to his home. What I found sent me into a tailspin.
There was rock music blasting from Giles' bedroom and I was getting worried when he didn't answer me. "Giles are you ok" I called out as I peaked into the room. To my amazement the person I found in Giles' bed wasn't him but the last person I expected to see. Rage boiled in me and in two seconds flat I had my stake out and was on top of Spike screaming "What have you done with Giles?"
